Not exactly a "romantic" relationship question,more a people-in-your-life question...

[Kitsa]

Is there a point where you are just completely willing to write someone out of your life? If so, how far do they have to push you? Does it have to be a big betrayal? A long history of using you or taking you for granted? Some broken promises? Just generally treating you like shit?

I try to be pretty easygoing but I've got a couple of candidates on the horizon and I'm thinking about it.

I'm not talking about hating someone, I'm talking about "Have a nice life, fucker, I never want to see or hear from you again." So far there are only a couple of individuals who have had the privilege, but life is short and people are shit.

[Dimnos]

Are you talking about people in your life in general? Or people you have been involved with? If you are talking people in general... If they are just annoying or a dumb ass I try to avoid them. If its someone you are involved with... As soon as you break up with them I never want to see them again.

[Kitsa]

Just in general. If I break up with someone that's it, they might as well be jettisoned into space.

[dirtyxblondexdame]

honestly, i do that alot. usually with me it's the 3 months rule of thumb -- if idon't talk to someone for more than 3 months, then i don't need to stay friends with them. i clean out the phone address book quarterly if you want to be friends, lets be friends. don't just say it and make me keep your IM name and phone number in my contacts so that you can not talk to me.

other than that, when people suck, i just stop talking to them. i never felt the need for any dramatic "fuck you, get out of my life" (though there have been times that would have been fun and appropriate), usually people will get the hint and leave me alone if i stop returning calls, IMS and emails.

on the other hand, sometimes i don't return messages for weeks at a time. oops.

[stevetothepast]

I have a bit of lenience but sometimes you just get so fucking sick of looking at people that constantly lie to you, bullshit talk around you etc.

I just wrote someone out the other day to be honest, a friend and old room-mate of years. Fuck him.

[Sam]

I GOT NO ROOM IN MY LIFE FOR A TRAITOR

[Skulhedface]

I'm of no help here. Much to my wife's chagrin, my ex's almost universally insist on remaining friends, and in all honesty, our breakups (save one or two) weren't really acrimonious. My wife gets intensely mad about it because I do have a lot of friends, exs included, but then I constantly have to reassure her, "If I wanted to be with them, what sense does it make to marry you?"

[Tadao]

Originally Posted by Kitsa

I'm not talking about hating someone, I'm talking about "Have a nice life, fucker, I never want to see or hear from you again."

Yeah, 2 really old friends.

[Fathom Zero]

I have one. He was a good friend, but he turned into a real bastard. I'm going to his house this week to pick up my games and probably never speak to him again.

He's a two-faced bastard, but he's like that with everyone, so at least he's consistent.

[Dimnos]

What did he do?

[Tadao]

THAT'S AN AWFULLY PERSONAL QUESTION

[Dimnos]

That makes this an awfully personal thread!

[Colonel Flagg]

Originally Posted by michael corleone

[Fredo], you're nothing to me now... You're not a brother. You're not a friend. I don't want to know you or what you do... I don't want to see you at the hotels. I don't want you near my house... When you see our mother, I want to know a day in advance so I won't be there... You understand?

Give him this speech, verbatim. He'll get it.

EDIT: It would help if you were Sicilian, though.

[Fathom Zero]

Originally Posted by Dimnos

What did he do?

He talks shit behind people behind their back and he's very hostile. I tried getting through to him, thinking that something's been bothering him, but I realized that this is just his personality. He's an asshole, always has been, but he's been getting nasty as of late. So fuck him. I don't want a friend like that.

[Sam]

I'm sorry Fathom, I will be a better friend to you in the future.

[Colonel Flagg]

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero

He talks shit behind people behind their back and he's very hostile.

I used to know someone like that. I thought he respected my work, then I found out he was talking smack behind my back. Sayonara, baby - don't let the doorknob hit you in the ass on the way out.

Funny thing is, he tried to ask for my help on a problem he was having at work. I basically told him to work it the f*** out.

[Fathom Zero]

I know. My soon-to-not be friend does just as much. He takes friendships for granted. He's afraid of being alone, but he just alienates everybody. I can't change that, and he doesn't want to. So we're done. It's that simple.

[The Leader]

Punch him in the cock.

[Fathom Zero]

No, to hurt him the worst would be to let go of him, so that's what I'm going to do.

[The Leader]

If you love something, let it go.

[El Renardo]

Originally Posted by The Leader

If you love something, let it go.

And if you hate something, let it go... and hope to God it doesn't come back.

[MetalMilitia]

My problem with this is that for a friendship to deteriorate to such an extent that you might tell someone you never want to see them again you must be going to quite a lot of trouble to maintain the façade that you still like them.

Why don't you just register your irritation with people whenever they irritate you and save yourself the drama?

[Fathom Zero]

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia

My problem with this is that for a friendship to deteriorate to such an extent that you might tell someone you never want to see them again you must be going to quite a lot of trouble to maintain the façade that you still like them.

Why don't you just register your irritation with people whenever they irritate you and save yourself the drama?

We used to be good friends. The only reason why we are still friends is because we were friends. But, I told me mate goodbye and that was that. Phone calls from 'im are going to go unanswered from this point forth.

[ZeldaQueen]

I guess that would depend on your gut feelings.

I personally have pretty far limits on keeping friends. Thus far, there's only been one person who I was friends with and dropped. This happened after she told some very blatent lies to me (that she was a famous model, a Russian child actress, was in a full-blown production of Les Miserables as Gavroche, had to smuggle jewelry when she left Russian to come to America, got a 100% on her SATs, was accepted to Harvard, decided to go to Pitt instead but was given total free admission, room, and board, etc), basically stalked and harrassed my brother until he was totally freaked out, caused all this trouble insisting that no one ever talked about her behind her back, and seemed to be moving in on my boyfriend.

I never actually told her to get out though as I saw her rarely after I graduated.

[Kitsa]

I remember being in high school with a girl with whom I'd been fairly friendly up to that point. We were bored in a class, and she made some sort of little cartoon about a dog and passed it back to me. I made another cartoon about the dog and passed it back to her.

Then the note-passing stopped abruptly and she ran out of class as soon as the bell rang. A couple of days later she hurled this long, ridiculous, 4 page handwritten letter at me. It was all about how the dog-cartoon was HER thing and how DARE I draw the dog also and she would never be able to trust me again blah blah blah. It was weird, overblown, overdramatic overkill. I still have it somewhere.

My reaction to this, mentally, was "wtf, crazy bitch alert" and I wrote her out of my life right then and there. Didn't say anything to her, didn't go out of my way not to speak to her, just didn't ever deal with her again. Until facebook, when a bunch of other people I was only marginally on speaking terms with found me and "suggested" her as a friend. Fuck that.

That's what I don't like about facebook. If I didn't like them then, what makes them think I'd like them now?