Lies

[Kitsa]

When I was in first grade, our reading table broke and the teacher had the janitor haul it away, then she joked that we couldn't read that day.

Except I took her seriously and flipped the fuck out because in my little-kid head, reading was the only reason I put up with school in the first place.

So I waited for her to be distracted, and I sneaked out of class and acted like she'd sent me on an errand. I went to the office and told the secretary my teacher made a mistake and we need the table back, please. Then I sneaked back into class, and she didn't even notice I was gone (we had one of those "open schools" with no classroom walls).

Soon the janitor came back with the table and told her that he didn't understand why she wanted it back when he hadn't even had a chance to fix it yet. It took her a while to put it all together (probably the secretary told her I'd shown up), but she eventually did. That was the only time I ever got in trouble for lying in school. I think I didn't get my usual orange popsicle at recess or something.

Even my childish lies were dorky

Edited to add: here's me (the one looking bored), the teacher and the reading table in question.