Your weirdest dreams?

[Kitsunexus]

A few months ago I had a dream that Canadians had stripped me naked and were going to kill me, but at some point I realized it was a dream and I took their Uzi and I started running down the suburbs shooting at cars while I was still naked. That was my only lucid dream ever, and I'm kind of pissed that I wasted it.

This next dream I wrote down in a dream notebook so I could remember it, and surprise surprise that shit really works!:

Just like 2 days ago I had a dream where I was walking down a rainy backalley street and there was this old black woman, she must have been like in her 90's. Anyway, I walked up and I asked her "do you have what I need"? And she said "only if you have what I need". So I went into her house, and we both take our clothes off, and I start fucking her, but she keeps on screaming "FASTER, FASTER" so I go faster, and this keeps going on until it gets to be less incredibly violent sex and more of an erotic parody of the "Burly Brawl" scene from The Matrix: Reloaded. Finally, she screams "DRAGON OF RAPTURE!" and orgasms, but she orgasms a cobweb all over my dick. >_< I'm out of breath but I tell her "Now, you promised" and she takes me to the bathroom and lights one of those funky Jewish candelabra things, and hands me a box of GAIN laundry soap. I do two lines of the soap off her toilet, pass out and then I woke up.

I don't know what the fuck repressed sexual urge triggered that dream, but I'd kinda like it out of my body. 0_o