Woot! I just got my package in the mail. It's an extremly awesome kit, from Samfucius. Pictures will be up later today. but thank you so much Sam! the gifts were great and the letters made me and my friends cry tears of laughter!
So I was sitting around playing some minecraft when what should appear at my door? why it's my secret Santa gift from none other then Samfucius!
Spoilers!
The box was big. as were my hopes for the contents.
inside I found a bunch of goodies each attached to numbered envelope. so starting at the beginning I started checking out my loot. turns out it was a specialty kit designed to turn me into the perfect man.....8 pages of instructions were included to help me on this glorious quest.
well I'm already pretty manly but what the heck I could always do with a few more manly points.
first up were 4 bags of army men......well actually 2 bags of army men, 1 bag of cowboys and Indians and 1 bag of....firemen? amusingly the firemen look the most dangerous with their axe wielding ways.
but these weren't just any army men they were veteran army men! you could tell do to the lack of limbs on some of them.
I think that last one had an unfortunate accident with a pipe of some sort.
also included with the army men was a CD I could listen to as i made my army fight itself...
The CD case broke in the mail and got pretty scratched up. the first track is unlistenable.....luckily Samfucius in his manly wisdom made all 5 tracks the same song! A very manly viking Dirge. all labeled track 1-5 so I'm not sure of the real name of the song, but it's all kinds of sweet.
My new-found army and I proceeded to open up the next gift. 8 bags of fake mustashes!
Only five are pictured because within an instint of me seeing them, me and my friends tried them on.
but as I said I am already pretty manly and of course have a kicking goatee of my own. the fake mustaches don't stick to hair very well, but that wasn't going to stop me!
next up came a manly survival guide.
nothing more manly then junior novels. this one even came with 8 pages of color photos! I figure if anyone could sit through the third movie they would need a manly stomach to deal with the pain. this book should help me warm up to that.
finally came the ultimate manly training device.
Diplomacy the board game. this will be the perfect training tool to help me take over Europe, and besides anygame that takes at least 30 minutes a round is extreme to the max!
in all I got a very nice haul. I've had a lot of fun with this secret Santa and glad I decided to join this year. many thanks to you Samfucius for the awesome gifts. I love war board games and foresee many a fun drunken night playing diplomacy.
You really should have went with Man Rule #1: Periods are for women.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Esuohlim
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU PUNY LITTLE BASTARD. I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO MAKE A MAN OUT OF YA, OBVIOUSLY, BUT COME BY ANY TIME AND I'LL WHIP YOUR SUPPLE LITTLE GIRL BODY INTO A SHAPE
Diplomacy the board game. this will be the perfect training tool to help me take over Europe, and besides anygame that takes at least 30 minutes a round is extreme to the max!
Last edited by Mockery : Dec 16th, 2010 at 02:58 PM.
Reason: fixed
Alright, it's time for me to post my I-Mockery Secret Santa 2010 Photo Jamboree! My Secret Santa this year was Dextire, who sent me a box of awesomeness. So awesome that a holy light poured out as soon as I opened the box. It actually melted one of my roommate's faces off like at the end of Raiders, but I sadly don't have a photo of that.
There was a note inside the box, but I'm not going to include a picture of that, because it's paper, which I think you have all seen before. But it was an amusing note where Dextire explained everything that was in the box. As he warned me it contained SPOILERS, I opened all of the individually wrapped goodies first.
Here is what I found within:
A mini Sega Genesis game system with like six games that I plug directly into my TV! I have never had a Genesis, so this will be nice to play around with.
A copy of Sonic Spinball! His note explained that if I don't have a Genesis, I should display it prominently within my home so that people know what good taste I have in video games. I shall do this, and when people ask me specific questions about the game, I will distract them and jump out the nearest window.
This hilarious Transformer, Ejector. He turns into a fucking toaster. Yep. (Thinks he's a cylon). I can't think of a more ludicrously stupid thing for a Transformer to be. And he's a Decepticon too, so I guess he uses his sinister powers to BURN YOUR TOAST. Awesome. I got a very good laugh when I saw this guy.
Some DVDs! Dark Night of the Scarecrow, Trap Door, and a Rutger Hauer double feature (Omega Doom and Blind Fury, and it's hilarious how both of those cover images blend together). None of which I have seen! Excellent!
A pair of "Little Animal" telephones. I don't know why they are called Little Animal since they are clearly a Dragon Ball Z knockoff. I have included a video of all the annoying noises it makes at the end of this post! I actually have another similar cheesy annoying phone robot called "Combatant Phone". I will have to put up a video of the two of them dueling annoying noises sometime.
Tons of tasty treats!!
Some Dinosaurs Attack! and Coca-Cola trading cards. I'm sure they will be quite amusing. The Coca-Cola cards look especially cheesy. Dextire's note cautioned me not to eat the gum inside.
Some Chinese Health Balls! A hilarious little Hot Wheels watch! Some batteries to use in my Little Animal phones or perhaps the mini-Genesis! And a bald eagle keychain, which is so patriotic it's wearing a fucking American flag DO-RAG. Amazing. The only thing missing is the single tear rolling down its face!
Thank you Dextire! This was a most amusing box of stuff! This definitely gets the Protoclown stamp of approval!
And now, here is my video of the Little Animal phone in action!
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"It's like I'm livin' in a stinkin' poop rainbow." - Cordelia Burbank
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