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hAS RUG-BURN
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Non-trendy NYC enclave
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Jan 29th, 2011, 02:48 AM
Coin operated bacon dispeser. Looks and functions like one of those hand dryers in public bathrooms. Bacon will be fed from a spool, past the heater coil, and into the customers bare hands. It will be cut into 1.5" x 75' strips on a special rotary cutting machine that rotates the pig while a blade cuts meat from the pig like a record needle cutting through a record. If a large electromagnet connected to the output of a powerful audio amplifer were affixed to the pig blade, one could record sound onto the pigs rotating carcass.
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"We're equally proud of our safety record. Not once in our nearly 50 years of operation has an animal pathogen escaped from the island."
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