Impress me with your injuries.

[b_squared]

Here is my list:
Scar under my bottom lip, from jumping on the bed. I fell off and cut it on the bed frame.
Fractured ribs and pelvis from a car accident ( a drunk ran a red light and t boned my ford escort) I also have scar under my left arm from the stiches because of the broken glass.
A few scars near my navel from having my tubes tied
Fractured my back when I was bucked off my horse, He also stepped on my left calf and its now 3'' larger than my right calf due to a large hemotoma scar, and hoof shaped dent on the shin bone.
I have another scar on my scalp near my left ear and left eyebrow. I was at work and helping with bust of a fighting cock ring. The cuts were from a very pissed off rooster flying at my head. I think there was seven stitches with that. I also have a few scars on my arms and hands from various dog bites (also work related) Only two of the bites required stitches though.
Right now I have some fading purple/yellow bruises, again caused by the horse. I was mucking out the stall my son comes around the barn chasing his friend playing nerf gun war. The one kid has an automatic nerf gun that is loud, it scared the horse whe decided to run me over. The bruises are 4 to 5'' round and on the hip, thigh and back of my knee. I look like hell. Scars on girls are not cool.