Impress me with your injuries.

[Kitsa]

let us all agree that cacti are foul and dastardly fuckers.

I used to have the same opinion of them I have about crossing-the-train-track accidents. That is...the train doesn't hit you out of the blue, you know where the tracks are, easy enough to stay away. Then one day I was walking through a mall and a fucking kids' christmas train came whipping around the corner and got me on the shin. When did they decide that shit was too good for the little circular track in the middle of the mall?