Something I wrote

[kahljorn]

I think what the person meant, was that while it's an interesting spin on "Existence", after reading the third "Stanza" there's really no reason to read more.

My suggestion would be to compile it and crunch it till it's smaller and more quippy, that word is neat, quippy. maybe use that word in it, just because the word Quippy is a nice quip. So anyway. Thats my suggestion, but I'm impatient and read poetry/prose, so I probably have the wrong idea about the whole thing.