Yes yes...i'm going to do a review of Abobo's big adventure, and god do i love and hate this game on different levels...
....but kinda the same on both sides....let me explain:
You start the game with a long whimsical tale about how the 1980's Nintendo Entertainment was at its height....
Abobo lifting himself with one hand to the statue of liberty, witch is pretty tall considering its like, what, at least a few 100 miles of the ground.
So then we see aboboy getting punched in the happy sack a few times until he becomes abogirl.
So is the plot of double dragon but with abobo as billy lee.
Abobo started out as a double dragon boss so its pretty cool to see him as a character, even if it is only a flash game, and god hopes it isn't cannon in the double dragon,or , worse(if thats possible) a cannon story in NINTENDO itself. But you'll se why that is as well in the end of this review.
So the first stage is the typical double dragon but just other games thrown in as well, it's a cool idea at first when you think about it, but it loses it later.
So you fight your first boss at the end of the stage, which is shooter gavin from i think is either double dragon or battle toads....probably double dragon,and no, i can't be bothered to look it up on google.
Let me put it to you...he will kick your ass if you stay in the same spot all the time because when you get hit you get knocked down, and then he'll start shooting and you'll be screwed in the butt because you can't get up and your health is depending on you to get up and you can't because he's shooting and your fucked!
So you hold down one of the up or down directional pad (use it depending on your situation of where you are)
then try and kill him as fast as possible, it may seem cheap, but after the gun I don't think so, you rush him as fast as possible and hope that he dies before you do, or... get him into a corner and pummel him to death until billy lee comes driving a huge ass forklift (and before you complain-)
HE TRIED TO KILL HER WITH A FORKLIFT!-mst3k
anyway so he dies in an explosion and you get knocked down a pit into a "goonies 2" esq. room where you Popeye the sailor man down a can of spinach (of course..I HOPE it was a can of spinach because it was green and.. if it wasn't then, i don't want to think of all the things mold can grow on.)
So you take a sheet and go down the toilet until you enter some kind of super mario brothers water level and Bubble man stage from Mega Man 2(it happens).
so you the boss for that stage is jaws(or is it), and the best way to avoid getting hit is to (you guessed it) rush it and hope it dies before you do.
So after defeating jaws you face-A FLIPPING SHARK WITH A LAZER BEAM!
yes actually it happens and its so glorious it made me change my pants.
so you guessed it(You rush it with attacks until it drops dead).
Then you go to the legend of zelda stage, where its like the first dungeon of LoZ but way way way way way way way way way way way way way WAY!!!
less cryptic then the actual game
Point one for Adobo.
Abobo-1 Other games-999999999999
So through not as much cryptic stuff you can obtain one holy piece of ass...
The Meat Sword!
dO Do Do DOOOO!!!!!
So you now have a advantage over the Old Man (Spoilers!)
Kinda like in the scott pilgrim video game.
So then you go to a ballon stage but i have no experience with that stage but i do know the boss is the grim reaper from kid icarus.
Also you fight the amazon from pro wrestling but i also have no experience with that so your on your own with him.
So after debating him you go to the CONTRA stage in which you get a gun and kick some terrorist/alien ass-holes open!
You can get the following power-ups(only one modified.) :
Flame Gun(Chances are you'll be seeing a lot of it in this game)
The Holy Spread Gun (Never gonna see it)
aND THE LAZOR GUN(A.K.A "The Lemmings gun")
so once you work your way to the end of the stage to find the boss has been replaced by Krang from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 80's cartoon.
Kinda hoped for bebop and rocksteady but its alright.)
So you defeat him and then you fight DA DA DA kirby fresh from HAL factories...
So you pretty much have to aim at the face of kirby or the arm of Krangbot until the boss explodes.
Then you go throughout the second part of contra which is level 3
(weird huh...you would think it would be 2 but level 2 was a over-the-shoulder esq. thing)
So you beat the alien kirby boss by OH MY GOD YOU RUSH IT AND ATTACK UNTIL IT DIES BEFORE YOU DO?!?!
what a twist!
So you get trained by (i'm not kidding) doc luis from the video game "punch out" to fight the lead bad guy....Little Mac....oh yeah
so you fight little mac until he turns into BIG MAC which i surprised the didn't make fun of McDonalds, but whatever.
then YES YOU HIT HIM UNTIL HE DRAINS HIS ENERGY BEFORE YOU DIE AND YOU RUSH HIM WITH ATTACKS!
i hate the stale and repetitive boss fights.
So you will eventually beat him.You then obtain the POWER GLOVE (its so bad!) and send his fucking head ACROSS THREE DOZEN SCREENS OF VIDEO GAMES AND YOU WIN THE GAME but not before beating the shit out of every video game character ever(including samus Aron and caption N)
But why are you stomping the shit to of samus if LITTLE MAC'S HEAD WENT PAST HER VIDEO GAME SCREEN!!!!
So what specifically is wrong with this game...
exilant sprite work
great use of game refrences
Over-all great spectacular work put into it.
Bad, stale, repetitive boss fights
difficulty level WAY TO HIGH
really really cryptic (Zelda)
Over use of gore and sexual contenx
And Horrible use of the beloved characters
And 70 million more....
HOW MANY INVINCIBILITY STARS OUT OF 5 ?
3 out of 5
One for the use of time
One for use of sprites
One for plot
One NOT given because of cruelty
One NOT given because of sexual and vulgar tones(I.E.not being able to play in front of mothers.)
So, i'm one of the few people who doesn't like this game.
Hope you enjoyed and SEE YOU NEXT TIME!