Why is my life so cliched?

[Professor Cool]

As for the rest of you jerks, you've been wasting your time give you 2 cents about sex. This is his first time, and first times are never what you hoped for. It's the whole "riding the bike theory". You just dont get on a bike the first time and go "WHOO-WHOO!" and pop a wheelie and ride off. No, you fall down and for some of you, cried. Sex the first time is the same way, you fall down not knowing what the hell your doing and somebody probably cries. It doesnt matter if you know how to do it and have the right mechanisms, you still don't know what your doing and it just comes out either horrible or for the the lucky ones "just ok". Anyone who has said that their first time was AMAZING or FANTASTIC BEYOND BELIEF are lying and might of never had sex at all. Don't waste your time preparing for the first time, just go for it, and prepare to make the second time enjoyable and somewhat memorable.