Mike, for the love of god, you're using the word brat. Maybe that would be a good name calling if i were in the range of 4-12, but I'm much beyond that. Of course, you aren't beyond making an ass of yourself, are you?
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Gas and masturbation are highly unlikely to be connected with each other. Have you tried to stop masturbating? Has the gas subsided as a result? Perhaps you could try the same experiment by increasing the times you masturbate daily. Do you notice that the gas is increasing?
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