Its not as interesting as you'd think it would be. Most animals only talk about food and their young. This is what a typical conversation with a crow is like:
Me: "Hello crow. Whats new?"
Crow: "Dog die in woods today. Much eating for crows. I get to dog first, eat eyes."
Me: "Ugh...I mean, thats nice..."
Crow: "I returning to nest. There I puke into babies mouths. Babies grow strong."
Me: "Well...thats good to hear..."
Birds aren't too bright. Trying to get them to shit on a particular person is hard. Odds are they will get confused and shit on you instead.
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