OK, Seriously

[James]

Why are women so fucked up?

I have a friend, who had broken up with her boyfriend of 8 or so months. They ended up fighting a lot since the breakup, and it got to the point where the guy said a couple of things along the lines of:

a) He hoped she'd die when she went in for surgery.
b) He should have beaten the shit out of her when he had the chance.
c) He cheated on her (which turned out to be he was all set to sleep with some other girl not long after the breakup, but she stopped him. His story was very different).

So she tells me how she hates being alone, and she needs to be with someone to be happy, and that means settling for a relationship that she knows is shit.

And sure enough, she was right. Not long after all this happened (about 2 weeks after he wished death upon her), they're back together. I was upset about this, and asked her why. She said she thought about it, and decided that they could make it work this time. I tried to tell her about all the things she told me, but she wouldn't hear any of it. She said I should just be happy for her, and I said that I couldn't be happy knowing she's setting herself up to be hurt by this POS who doesn't deserve to be with someone like her.

So she stopped talking to me. I can't be happy for her crawling back to McDickshit, so she hates me. I didn't yell at her, insult her, or anything. I did act a little upset over all this, but I didn't say anything that could have been taken as mean. I just asked her questions to make sure I knew what was going on (that she was back with this guy), and then said I couldn't be happy for her.

So fine, I'm the bad guy. She hates me. I really don't care (though I find it funny how a guy who wants to beat the shit out of her gets to fuck her, and I get thrown aside because I actually care what happens to her). But why the fuck do girls do this? She KNOWS this guy is a pile of shit, but she NEEDS to be with someone, so she's back with him. Why why why? And how can someone make her STOP?

I just know she's setting herself up to be this guy's doormat, and she's going to get hurt again (possibly in the physical sense, after this guy;s comments). He's no good for her, and I despise him for saying things to her that even I would never say to anyone I claimed to care about. I just don't see how the fuck she could want/need to be back with this guy. She deserves better than this no-good pathetic pile of shit.

[CaptainBubba]

I GUESS GIRLS MUST JUST LOVE MEAN GUYS. GRRRR STUPID GURLS. WHY R U SO STUPID? NICE GUYS WILL NOT CALL U NAMES AND "ACCIDENTLY" GO IN UR POOP HOLE AND ASK IF YOU LIKE IT. DUNT U C???? NICE GUYS R RIGHT INFRONT OF U. DUMP THAT ZERO AND GET URSLF A HRO, LOL.

[glowbelly]

the girl has an extremely low self-esteem. anybody that NEEDS to be with anyone else because they can't stand to be alone will never be happy in any relationship they enter into.

or maybe he just has a giant cock.

[kahljorn]

Smack her, she likes that kind of treatment, she'll prolly suck your cock for it.

[soundtest]

Numbers guy, post that Ladder Theory link again.

[James]

She told me she was depressed because she wasn't with him. She doesn't even remember she was depressed because he wanted her to die.

I just hate this. I have to sit back and watch while she goes through hell for this guy, while I'm the bad person. All I ever did was care about her, which is a hell of a lot more than he EVER did for her. I'm so fucking sick of caring about people, and being treated like shit for it. But more importantly, I'm so sick of having to watch people get hurt.

[ScruU2wice]

if you see a bruise on her stab him in the face. some one told me that because no guy should hit a girl

[James]

You're new here, so I'll have to inform you of something.

I have no "real life" friends. Whenever I speak of someone I know, it's through the internet. I don't have the option of seeing bruises on her, or kicking anyone's ass.

I know I'm pathetic, but it's all I have anymore.

[ScruU2wice]

im sorry

i hate being an idiot...

[AChimp]

It never fails to amaze me how girls will spend so much time trying to make a relationship work with a total fuckhead asshole guy, and yet they will get bored in a relationship with a nice guy or suddenly decide that things aren't working.

Are there really that many girls with self-esteem problems?

[BaronVonBoner]

Maybe they are just shallow, or they want to be "Where the action is at."

I wouldn't doubt there are that many girls with self-esteem problems.

[CaptainBubba]

My theory:

If you are nice to a girl, she'll feel as if she deserves better. Since we are all lustful bastards at heart, better=sexier.

Sexy guys are mean because they never had to be nice to get girls.

Because he is mean they feel as if they couldn't do better. (KEEP IN MIND BETTER=SEXIER)

If a girl meets a nice guy who is also sexy, then of course shell go for him. They're pretty damn rare though, and most guys are just latent assholes who beleive they're just nice but misunderstood guys.

[Mike]

This is why both girlfriends I've ever had have broken up with me. I'm an idiot, but I couldn't ever be like the guys they prefer. I could never mistreat a girl. I love them too much.

[The_voice_of_reason]

You don't have to mistreat a girl, you just have to beat her, like she deserves.

[BaronVonBoner]

The idea that you have to be mean to keep a girlfriend is pretty fucking gay. Unfortunately I have absolutely no evidence to disprove this theory and it fills my heart with hate for the world.

Someone please prove the theory wrong.

[OperationScuzBucket]

You know, that sounds familiar. Ha, right...that's because I'm the same way. The Kevin guy. Yeah.

It doesn't seem to make sense that a girl would want to go back to a guy who is a jerk, but think about it this way. She has very little if any self-esteem, and the fact that someone wants her makes her feel a tad bit better about herself despite her inner turmoil stewing over the fact that she's in denial of how awful the guy is. However, the "nice" guys that like her are either:

1. Over the internet
2. Obsessed with anime conventions and cosplay crap
3. Schizophrenic weirdos
4. Completely annoying to the point where you want to feed their organs to starving children but don't because you're afraid that the kids will get poisoned.

You're over the internet, so she probably likes the idea of a guy who can actually be there a lot better. I'm the same damn way.

[CaptainBubba]

YOU MAM, NEED TO SHUT YOUR DIRTY LITTLE MOUTH AND GET YOUR PRETTY FRIEND TO PLAY PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS WITH ME.

WHORE.

Please.

I love you...

sexually. : (

[Skulhedface]

So basically, you're all saying, all our problems will be solved if we guys just walk into a room crowded with women and say "I'm going to punch you all in the eye! Now who wants to fuck me?"?

Slaves to the hormones, that's all it is.

Now, there are those of us on this planet that have this remarkable ability to use our brains, and meet people that similarly can use those fascinating "brain" thingies. When two of these people get together, with a little luck and a lot in common, things work out.

Sadly, with 99.9% of people, men AND women, lacking in this department, you have a lot of shallowness and unchecked hormones.

If it makes you feel any better James, she'll end up realizing she made a mistake sooner or later, later meaning she'll be sitting in a trailer, in curlers, surrounded by a number of children and beer cans.

[Dole]

"2. Obsessed with anime conventions and cosplay crap
3. Schizophrenic weirdos
4. Completely annoying to the point where you want to feed their organs to starving children but don't because you're afraid that the kids will get poisoned. "

-how did you get to know so many of the people who post here so quickly?

[James]

OK, this isn't totally helping.

My primary objective is to see this guy removed from her life, at least in a relationship position. My secondary objective is to make her talk to me again.

Yesterday, I sent her an e-mail apologizing for how I acted. I was a little mad an upset when I found out they got back together, and I came off as such. I didn't insult her or anything, but I was kind of giving her the third degree. "You're going out with Dave? Dave as in your ex, Dave? Dave as in, he hoped you'd die, Dave?"

And I asked her to just PLEASE sit and think about what she's doing. I quoted her on a few things she said, about what he did to her, and how she's never been in a relationship where she wasn't treated like shit. About how she convinces herself that things will be different, and people change. About how she knows she needs to forget about him, but she can't be alone.

I told her that I wanted her to talk to me at least one last time, so that if she really doesn't want to talk to me anymore, we could say some proper goodbyes, instead of her blowing me off and hating me. And she just won't talk to me. At all. I even tried to tell her I was sorry about her brother (Yesterday was the anniversary of his death, it turns out). She wouldn't even acknowledge me.

I asked someone else what I should do, and she said something along the lines of that I should forget her, and not care about someone who puts themselves in that position willingly. She herself was in an abusive relationship, and she says it's this girl's problem if she blows me off and goes crawling back to this fuckhead. But I can't just not care about people, period, let alone stop caring about someone.

Ah well. Just another chapter in my "Why I hate women, and don't believe in love" book.

[soundtest]

But I can't just not care about people, period, let alone stop caring about someone.

Bullshit - you're thinking with your dick first and foremost, and the main reason you're so nice to her and treat her so well is because somewhere down the line you're expecting something in return. If this was a guy we were talking about, it wouldn't be that big of a deal.

But I agree with your other friend - forget about her. Like I mentioned here before: girls like that are fucking headcases and should be ignored completely because if not she's gonna play you until you hate all women or your balls explode.

BUT if you insist on going after her... Turn the tables and take the power back. Ignore HER and brush her off. If you do that, in about a week or so she's gonna start wondering why your every last thought isn't revolving around her, start to think you don't care anymore and have moved on (and thus feel threatened and unwanted and blah blah whatever other crap dramatic women like that always say they feel), and start to realize that 'hey wtf he was really great after all'. Then you're in control.

[James]

Well, to be fair, I'm not thinking with my dick. I'm confident enough to say that my penis doesn't stretch from Connecticut to the middle of Canada.

When I say I care about people, I do mean I care about girls, though. But that's just because I hate (most) guys. That's not to say girls are perfect, mind you. You know, since I hate them too, just not as much as men, because men are assholes and women are just insane. But I'm not here to explain myself.

I'll try to forget about her. I can't keep worrying myself sick over people that don't even care if I exist. But I just don't want anything to happen to her.

[Protoclown]

She's obviously a fucking idiot. You've done all you can for her, above and beyond the call of friendship. If you obsess over helping her, you're being codependent, which is never good.

Let it go. It sucks that she's so stupid that she hates you now, but it's her life, and you're a good guy. Don't change on account of her stupidity.

[James]

I appreciate the comments, Proto.

I'll try, but it's going to be hard. Usually, if I need to forget about someone, I get away from them. But with her, we have a mutual online hangout, so I can't quite get away. And when someone tells her how lucky her boyfriend is, I just want to snap and blurt out everything. But I'll try, that's all I can do.

If someone's so ready to toss me aside because I see a problem with her going back to being with this guy, then she's not worth my time. But I still don't want to see her hurt, and I want to see him badly hurt.

And who knows? Maybe after she breaks up with him for attacking her with a baseball bat, she'll be willing to say that I was right. That's gotta be worth something. :/

[AChimp]

If you really want her to hate you, post all of this at that mutual online hangout.