Mar 16th, 2003, 01:43 AM
car for sale, my 1986 town car cartier edition (pimpmobile)
Heres the deal: I want to sell my car to somebody on I-mockery so I will still hear stories about it making people cool. I will give you a better price on it for the simple fact that you are obviously a member of I-mockery! (membership has its privilages)
If you want to buy my car, you can have it. It has lots of secks room in the back with leather seats and plenty of room to lay down, it is my understanding that the previous owner concieved a child in it. The engine runs just fine (sort of). The tranny, however, slips a little. It shouldnt be hard to fix, probably just need a new pump or the torque converter needs some refreshing. This car is a total pimpmobile, if it will be your first car, you will be instantly considered cool since it seats alot of complete high school assholes. It is horrible in snow but still somewhat drivable as long as you dont ever stop, it gets stuck in snow while facing downhill.
My reason for selling: I live in new york and need something more fuel efficent in traffic since my motorcycle isnt street legal yet (I need the money from the car to buy road tires, turn signals, emissions crap, and DMV paperwork fees to get my bike on the road.) I have decided that it would be best to sell this car since it is completly impractical to drive in an urban enviroment. If you however need a first car, (ie., your 16 years old in live in the boondocks) this is the best car for you. It is easy for even the most retarded mechanic to work on since it has a very popular engine. Most gear-heads would recognize the engine as a tuned down mustang motor, which means there are many cheaper-then-stock aftermarket parts which will make it perform better then new.
- 302 V-8 engine. gets about 13 MPG highway, 7 "gallons to the mile" city.
- New shocks and coils so it doesn't pitch going around corners and even the most vicious speedbumps are barely felt at speeds over 40 MPH.
- There is a total of 5 lighter sockets on every door of the car and one in the center of the dashboard, only two of the lighters work but it would be great since a total of 5 computer nerds could power their laptops.
-The alternator has been upgraded with a similar part from a newer car, so it can produce an extra 20 amps. This car didn't produce any extra power with the stock alternator. The reason for this was for me to run a huge stereo amp before I knew about capacitors, so it blew 4 fully warrenteed alternators before the guy at the store suggested converting it to the electrical equivilent of a 98' town car.
-Did I mention you can sleep 3 people comfotably in it?
-Leather seats with only minor wear on the drivers sides.
-The front brake rotors have been replaced with a better engineered set, so it stops with less distance then stock. (the ability to stop is a great thing and considered a luxury with many cheap used cars)
-It is missing one astetic rim which has been replaced by a fullsize spare with the same tire with symetrical, very minimal wear. The front end has been aligned (by a total fucking pro guy that builds racecars and restores cars from the 30's) to keep this wheel permanently so its has no effect on the steering at high speed.
-The stock stereo shitted out a long time ago and I wont be selling it with my stereo I got from sears. Also, there are no back speakers. Those are cheap though, and you should be able to pick up a pair of shitty walmart speakers like 20 bucks.
-If you have emmisions laws in your area you will have a problem since it has no "air injection pump". This pump forces outside air into the exhaust and causes a chemical reaction that lowers the emmisions. This pump has no longer works because I removed the belt after it frayed too much and the pump siezed a year later. You will have to take it to a crooked mechanic (there not hard to find, just explain the situation to multiple shops, you'll find someone to give the old wink wink nudge nudge)
I will give you my hanes manual, and my phone number if you have any questions about fixing it in the future (belive me I have many good pointers and easy fix it shit for that particular car) I can honestly tell you that if you arent very mechanically inclined, this is not the car for you. But if you love to tinker with shit that aint even broken, this car would be a dream. It was the equivelent of a $40,000 car in 1986 money, and has been built as solid as a $40k car. It has curcuit breakers instead of fuses, heated mirrors, and a bunch of other nice shit that most other cars didn't cost enough to be produced with.
There are going to be pictures of this car as soon as I can borrow my friend's digital camera. I just had to list it now and type all this while I'm high on STUFF coke. All the lost drugs and arrestable offense stuff will be cleaned out of from in between the seat cushions before the sale is complete. Thanks for reading this and good luck finding a cooler pimpmobile cause there aint none.
-edit: I forgot to include to price. $1500 which is highly negotiable as long as I can still get what I put in for repairs and still be able to put my dirtbik on the road (which aint cheap).
I no longer like cars and want to move to a place where I car ride motorcycle year round. cars piss me off and you are a fool for buying one. dont buy this car, buy a bike (not a harley, there no longer rebelious, they just drive like shit, have real bad braking ability, and everyones already got one.)