A Diatribe on OAO

[Sethomas]

Yes, this deserves its own thread. Every time I think about OAO, I get an aneurysm and have to stop what I'm doing. So, I'm doing something about it. Hopefully this puts an end to an era.

To The One and Only:
I thought I’d just point out a few things.

You strive to be an intellectual, but the one thing detaining you from ever reaching such an accolade is not simply your impeccable lack of character, but more your abounding negative character. You came to the philosophy board under the guise of an Ivory Tower rhetorician (not that you did so very well), and after some time you decided that this provided an a posteriori to become a valued member of the I-mockery community as a whole. It’s doubtful that real fraternité exists presently in the boards, and it’s debatable whether it ever did at all. But you obviously have fought hard for acceptance of some sort, and to do this you must have decided to “open up” to us. Hence, your copious literature in the Loveline forum and more recently in your "outrageous" thread.

These posts revealed the crux of your identity: you are so naïve that you don’t realize you’re naïve. Regardless of how astutely you measure your present success with the ladies, your episode with Marissa or Melissa or Murphy or whatever revealed that your megalomaniacal quest for intellectual superiority has left a total void, eine ganze Entäuserung, in your social coping skills. This implies that intellectualism, pseudo as it may be, was the result of acute incompatibility with any actual social setting. You couldn’t compete with the alpha crowd, so you attempted to justify yourself with superiority in that in which you “excelled”. Your ardent support of Libertarianism suggests that you desired some niche into which you might fit, the irony thereof not withstanding.

For some time, as evidenced by your expansion on the boards, you have decided that your character should be more evolved beyond an loquacious automaton programmed with economic theory. So, you told us about your first “encounter” with the opposite sex, even though any sliver of common sense would dictate that your boasting about it would be akin to Edward the Confessor bragging about his torturous execution being an orgasmic rimjob.

So, you’re naïve in that you’re socially inept. That’s just one strike, right? Not quite. For years sucked into the abyss of your own self-pity, you’ve come to be the gravitational center of your entire universe to such an abnormal extent that you’re blind to anything but revelry in your own greatness. I’m sure you’re capable of getting good enough grades and test scores that you can place into a good college (I know from experience that the socially helpless excel at such), and if you don’t come to terms with reality before then it will destroy you. As Vonnegut says, the travesty of joining a large collective is that you invariably meet Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. You’re intelligent, but not remarkably so. You’re not excruciatingly ugly, but that you could become a model is laughable. Your habits, hobbies, interests, and personality might impress the local hilljacks, but any Ivy Leaguer would choke on their scones before finding anything impressive about them. If you’re as egocentric as you posit yourself to be on the boards then your universe will inevitably collapse once you enter the real world.

So, it comes back to your painful lack of character. The problem with creating a thread about how “outrageous” you are is that it thereby lays down all your cards. You reduced yourself to a few sentences with the clear intention of impressing us, and you simply fail. For sake of comparison I’d gladly enumerate my own eccentricities (including my large penis), but that would defeat the purpose. Why? Because fighting to establish identity only proves invariably a lack thereof. Come on, did you really think that telling people on the internet that you’re a body-builder, and then photographing yourself in an unintentionally hilarious flexed pose, can be anything other than pathetic? In my high school years I had a hell of a lot to learn, and I was at times so pathetic it burns me to remember those instances. I have plenty to learn still! But I learned from my mistakes, though more than once I barely survived. You convey no lack of desire for improvement, because you’re constantly forced to the defensive. You’ve convinced yourself that you’re good enough, and so you hesitate to change. Guess what: you’re not.