the all purpose george thread

[george]

today i was sitting in the kitchen smoking and listening to my kids watching TV. it was the episode of the simpsons when bart works in the burlesqe (sp?) house.

best line:

"are you wearing a trashbag (possibly grocery bag, i am very high right now and can not remeber exactly~take that short term memory) sir?"

"i seem to have misplaced my pants."

earlier i had my first good idea for the first series of short films i am going to make. INSULT VIDEO THEATER. i will reveal no more of this idea but trust me it is MILDLY AMUSING AT BEST anyhow.

there was a cracked out black woman shouting at the retarded kid at the safeway. i hate that retarded kid because he once told my son "YOU JUST GOT TO TWIST THAT FUKING WHORE" when my son was having a difficult time getting some stickers out of one of the machines at the front of the store, so i was rooting for the crack head. she had big floppy titties, and watching her jump and shout was very amusing. the retard kid looked ready to explode. all i could think was "sproingie, sproingie, spriongie"

a crippled guy had left his lights on in the parking lot. i told my wife "HA HA! lets see you jumpstart youR car MR FANCY PANTS UP FRONT PARKING SPACE CRIPPLE GUY." when i pictured the guy trying to jumpstart his car wwith the battery from his chair the joke seemed funny. but i dont know, it just seems a little stupid and a hard stretch. but those up front cripple spaces peeve me off for some reason.