You would get shitty mix CD's with atypical love songs by Tom Waits and Nick Cave and Stabbing Westward and the Squirrel Nut Zippers, as well as gifts like
this, and I would make you tea and give you massages while you do your homework.
I would also write little love notes on the dry erase board occasionally coupled with
bad drawings and sometimes you'd wake up to gay little surprises like a post-it note on the mirror pointing to where your face would be with the text "this is the most beautiful thing in the whole wide world."
THE DOWNSIDE IS I'M A FUCKING WEIRDO AND OCCASIONALLY YOU WOULD HAVE TO DEAL WITH MY RAMPANT SELF-HATE AS WELL AS MY COMPLETE AND UTTER INTOLERANCE FOR THE HUMAN RACE.
But only occasionally.
Is anybody else completely thrown off guard by those public service announcements about high fructose corn syrup not being as bad as everybody thinks it is? I mean, has high fructose corn syrup become such a controversial issue that anywhere near a majority of the American population shies away from products that contain it?
It's like when the dairy farmer's association or whatever started pumping so much advertisement into milk. I mean, seriously, milk? Do they expect somebody to see the ads and say, "oh yeah, milk! I had forgotten all about milk!"
Let me reiterate, here. . .
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