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[Pram Maven]

Hi guys,

I've been thinking, and life has never been the same without all of you to mock me to death while posing as Irish black men-pirates.

Also, I can't get an erection. I've tried everything- slamming it in car doors, stomping on it, even sawing it off. I don't know why I thought it would become firm by doing that, but once it left my body it was definitely a piece of dead wood. I tried calling my name, but it won't come to me- it just lays there while the neighborhood dog humps on it. Right now it looks like a piece of beef jerky someone jacked off to and posted on Xtube.

Have you ever played Backgammon?