the unfairness of it all

[george]

so i have this crappy job.

just barely pays the bills.

my boss is a hard core conservative, and a racist, and hates everything. his desk is approximately three feet from mine, and he insists on talking to me. being a bit on the conservative side myself i can tolerate the conservative BS to a point, the racism is at best (i share some of his views, but for entirely different reasons) amusing, usually tiresome. I truly hate everything, so i can deal with his BS in that department.

what really gets me is his disdain for people less fortunate than him. it drives me crazy. what happened to compassion? what happened to having a charitible spirit for people less fortunate? all day he and the other guy i work with (a man who actually burst out crying when we were recently put in a bad situation) constantly brag about their social position, how much money they have to spend, or constantly put down people that have made mistakes or just simply never had a real oppotunity (cause the system is NOT always kind to those that are on the bottom).

they never seem to realize i am part of the people they are mocking. while financially i am a complete screw up, i am very proud of the life i have. i take care of my children, have been married almost 14 years, and can honestly sy that i try very hard to be a kind and decent person.

but

when the window is out on the car, and i have to scramble to figure out where i am going to get thirteen bucks to pay for school pictures, or hold off getting shots for the dogs, i start to wonder if i AM a decent human being, or if i am just fooling myself.

so what makes a good person?

what makes us worthwile? what makes the assholes i work with so much more successful than me? why, despite being poor, am i happy while they are miserable?