Feb 29th, 2004, 12:24 AM
Ummm... he probably wouldn't have made it anyway. He was 74 and in poor health. While we were riding in with his body, Dwight told a funny joke, though!
Three dogs were waiting to be seen at the vet's office. The first one turns to the second and asks, "What are you here for?"
"Well, I'm a barker. I bark at everything that moves. Animals outside, the mailman, even the TV sometimes. I just can't help myself! My master is really pissed!"
"Don't worry about it," says the first dog. "They'll probably just give you something to calm you down a bit."
The second dog then asks the first, "What are you here for?"
"I have a problem with chewing. I chew up anything I can get my teeth on. I've ruined shoes, I've ruined furniture. You name it, I'll chew it! My master is furious! What do you think they'll do? You don't think they'll put me to sleep, do you?"
"I'm sure you'll be fine," says the second dog. "The vet will probably tell your master to buy more chew toys or something."
Then they both turn to the third dog and ask, "What are you here for?"
"Well boys," he says, "I'm a humper. If it's there, I'll hump it. I hump furniture, the cat, people's legs, anything. Just the other day, my master got out of the shower and was bending over picking up her towel and... I just couldn't help myself! I mounted her!"
The first two dogs are shocked. "Dude, you're fucked! You're going to get the needle for that!"
"Needle? Pffff! I'm just here to have my nails clipped!"
It's even funnier when you're in the back of an ambulance with no lights save a flashlight (the truck's battery nearly died on the way to the hospital) and a dead guy.
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