You're GODDAMNED RIGHT a POLKA BAND!

Like there was any other choice!? The polka band busts out some crazy rhythms and people start to flock to your party within seconds. "Holy shit! This is A LOT of people!" you exclaim. You never imagined that the party would be such a huge success. And damn, do these people love themselves some rockin' polka music.

Well, with any good polka band comes one of the notorious drawbacks:

THE DREADED POLKA PIT

It starts out with just two guys shoving each other, but soon after, almost everyone at the party is involved in a HUGE polka pit. They're smashing up a lot of your valuables and some of them are even getting into fights. Christ, one guy was even forced to become "The Candle Man!"

"You've got to put an end to this."

Candle man is right, this shit cannot be tolerated any longer. You find the one guy who seems to be instigating all of the fights and the moshing more than anyone else. He's a big guy. A really, really big guy. "Excuse me sir, but you please stop the fighting. It's a monster party, we're not supposed to have people getting their asses kicked." He laughs in your face, "Tell ya what, since this is your party, I'll let you walk away right now, unharmed. But, if you even SPEAK to me again, YOUR ass will be the next one to get kicked."

Are you gonna take that? You busted your ass and even got thrown in jail just so you could have this Monster Party. Are you gonna let some asshole ruin it for you? No fucking way. Big guy or not, this bastard is going down.

YOU DECIDE TO:

• Grab a baseball bat and crack his skull.
   
• Show that fucker who's boss by pissing on him.
   
• Attack him with a potato peeler.
   
• Bust out the chainsaw and go "Leatherface" on his ass.