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Please don't feed PickleMan
Please don't feed PickleMan
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Choose Your Own Adventure: I-MOCKERY STYLE!


A quick look through Pete's pockets should turn up a clue or two. After all, Pete was never one to look to for his photographic memory. He must have left himself a reminder of where he buried the treasure. Then again, maybe he concealed a map on himself for you, in case you won the duel. Not bloody likely, you think to yourself. Pete always did like to play dirty, and not in a sexual way either, but in a lowdown, rotten, stinking (stinking drunk, most of the time) cheater sort of way.

You rifle through the many pockets on Pete's pirate costume. Most of them are filled with loose hair from his beard, and a couple of the pockets contain some of his original teeth. No sign of any actual clues. Unless…

You break open his pocketed teeth, hoping to find some microfilm inside one of them. Alas, there is no microfilm, and in retrospect, that was a very stupid idea. Still, you broke a few of his teeth. That'll show that dead bastard who's boss. You kick him in the head for further emphasis.

The blow knocks off his tri-cornered pirate hat. As you look down on the shoeprint you've put on the side of Pete's head, you spot a small piece of paper attached to the inside of the hat. You remove the paper and examine it:

The dandruff flakes have been digitally removed.

It appears to be the original copy of the map that Pete mentioned in his letter to you back at the segmented palm tree. Moreover, it shows where Pete reburied the treasure: in the other eye socket! Geez, no wonder Pete didn't put up much of a fight. His bad ankle must have been killing him from hauling all that treasure across the island, and then loping back here to wait for your duel.

Finally, the end of your quest is in sight. All you need to do now is get over there and retrieve your prize. Oh, if only everything were so simple.

You decide to:




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