You don't like the idea of leaving your belongings out in the open, because I mean, what if somebody saw your Rainbow Brite hair conditioner? I mean, it's the best product you've found on the market for managing your unruly hair, but people are so quick to judge... And God only knows what's under the couch, and as for leaving your stuff in the fireplace, what are you, fucking crazy? So you decide that the only logical place to stash your stuff is the armoire, and you just have to keep your fingers crossed that it doesn't transport your bag to Narnia or some shit.

You tuck your things away (interpret that how you will), brush your teeth, comb your hair one hundred times for Jesus like Sister Gretchen taught you, and soon enough you're well on your way to slumberland, having a rather delightful dream about pirates who sail around on marshmallows and shoot each other with delicious jellybean cannons, when all of a sudden you find yourself jolted awake by a loud noise!

You stay completely still so as to give the illusion of sleep, but your eyes crack open and you see a prone figure sprawled on the floor, over by the now-open armoire. He hisses a quiet string of curses that would make a sailor's dirty asshole blush, and he picks up some offending object over by his feet: your toiletries bag! It seems that he was coming out of the armoire when he stumbled on your bag and fell to the floor, waking you up.

He straightens, revealing a sizable hunch on his back, and turns quickly towards you, as if it's only occurred to him to check that you're still sleeping. Shutting your eyes immediately, you breathe slow and steady, even affecting a cute little snore, one of those kinds with a cartoony whistle on the end of it, and a moment later you hear his footsteps shuffling out of the room.

Bolting off the couch, you dart to the doorway he walked through and watch him shuffle lopsidedly down the hall and turn into the library. Cautiously you sneak to the library entrance and watch him light a candle and pull a book half off the shelf, which causes the entire bookcase to slide to the side, revealing a dark secret passage with a descending staircase behind it!

The hunchback turns, giving a paranoid glance behind him, and you just barely get your head back around the corner in time to avoid detection. A moment later, you hear his footsteps going down the stairs, and the bookcase slowly slides back into place.

Woah! Just who the hell is this guy? I mean, it just figures that your uncle's mansion would just have to come with a hunchback, but what was he doing in the armoire? Why didn't you notice him when you shoved your stuff in there? And where is he going? I mean, you could follow, but what if he's going down to the basement or catacombs below to summon a demon or participate in a human sacrifice? It could be risky. Then again, this could be your chance to learn about some of the freaky shit that goes on in here.

You decide to:

• Stealthily follow the hunchback and merely observe his actions.
  
  
• Rush to catch up with the hunchback so you can boldly confront him before he reaches his destination.
  
  
• Sleep on it and inform the lawyer Pendleton Queez in the morning.
  
  
• Call 911 and tell them there's an intruder in the house.