You take hold of the book and very carefully pull it halfway off the shelf. When nothing happens, you pull it the rest of the way off the shelf. Still nothing. Must not have been the right book. Oh well, no sense putting it back yet. You open the book and start thumbing through it:

The book details the often overlooked war between Mexico and Canada that took place in the early 17th century. An objective historical account, it recalls both the keen strategy of noted Canadian general Doug Myers, as well as the bold heroism of Mexican folk heroes like Felipe Mendoza and "El Perro Grande". The stirring narrative in the description of the Battle of El Rio de Lupe (which would later be known as the Mississippi River, moves you to tears.

You replace the book on the shelf, wondering when Ken Burns will make a documentary about this forgotten war. The shelves suddenly begin to creak loudly. The entrance must be opening, you think to yourself. That was a good guess, but no, the shelf merely collapse and buried you under an avalanche of books. On the plus side, at least you have some good books to read while you suffocate.

READING IS SUCCEEDING... AT FAILING! START OVER!!!