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Crazy Mexican Monografias:

by: -RoG-

When it comes to public service announcements, America is really quite tame compared to the rest of the world. While we have the ultra-corny NBC celebrity spots which always end with "The more you know...", other countries aren't nearly as sheepish when it comes to displaying the harsh realities of life. This became even clearer to me when I stumbled upon an incredible collection of Mexican monografias posters in the basement of a Philadelphia art gallery last year. Some of them were extremely graphic, and others were pretty friggin' hilarious... needless to say I purchased one of each.

discover the feeling, learn to read.

So, for the next couple of weeks I'll be putting all of these crazy monografia posters up on I-Mockery for you to enjoy. The poster for today is all about alcoholism, and compared to some of the other posters I'll be displaying later on, this one is actually somewhat tempered. So let's take a closer look at each of the scenarios presented in this informative public service announcement. My Spanish is a bit rusty, but I'll do my best to translate them for you.

excuse me, waiter? um yeah, there's a man in my drink.

Hmmm, I'm getting a few mixed signals here. From what I can tell, if you become an alcoholic, one of several things can happen to you: a) you can crash your car into a telephone pole, b) you'll appear in your very own television commercial,  or c) you'll somehow fall into a huge glass of liquor which a giant will then pick up to drink and you'll die in his stomach. See what I mean? Those Mexicans aren't gonna shy away from the truth about alcoholism. Harsh reality, people.

Nice pink sweater you got there, Herb!
"Warning: alcohol has been known to attract Juan Valdez's gay brother, Herb."

Wake up! He's copping a feel on your wife!
"While you're off being drunk in the corner, laughing at your
own shitty jokes, some dude is gettin' it on with your wife."

poor grandma :(
"Because you drink so much, they tore down your grandma's
house to build yet another booze factory... you selfish dick."

drink and you can have me all to yourself!
"Can't have just one more for the road? Then maybe this hottie
will have to go feed grapes to a real man instead. Drink up!"

A pyramid scheme? I KNEW IT!
"Warning: Alcoholics Anonymous is a pyramid scheme."

Mmmmmm, what a lovely bouqet. I think I can taste a little oak in this one...
"Meet Harvey. In his spare time, Harvey enjoys tasting
the splendors of life in the form of urine-filled test tubes.

Hey, you knew the deal when you put his ring around your neck...
"Dave isn't letting you wear his ring on a necklace for nothing. So
you might as well chug a few before he has his way with you, José.

Babies having babies? MADNESS!
"We all know that drinking can make you pregnant. What most people don't
realize is that drinking can make the child in your womb pregnant as well."

Huhuhuhuh... it says 'band'... huhuhuh...
"Drinking will give you the bright idea of spraypainting your band's name
on the cracked walls of an alley. Problem is, you'll be so goddamned drunk
by the time you get there, you won't even remember the name of your
band. So, in your drunken glory, you'll spray the words "band" on the walls instead and your friends will then make a toast in honor of your jackassness."

Smack your bitch up
"Listen up junior, and listen up good. I don't care if you are sick as hell, daddy
will beat the hell out of you if you try drinking some NyQuil. That's daddy's 'backup booze' in case he runs out of the good stuff and the stores are closed."

Drink or die!
"If you don't drink enough, you'll end up back on the streets where you belong."

I also found another alcohol-related PSA poster, but it was cut up pretty badly and unfortunately, there were no other copies left. Still, I managed to salvage some of the pics from it... so here you go:

"You're always the center of attention when you drink... because people
know they have a better chance of stealing your wallet when you're inebriated."

"Some bottles of alcohol contain miniature humans who don't have any genitals, and oh yeah, Death likes to hangout inside bottles too. Kind of like a genie, but the only kind of wish he'll grant is your wish for the sweet release of death."

nice shoes!
"Why was that guy wearing dress shoes with that outfit?
Ram him with your car to find the answer!"

He already looks just like dad
"Wanna look as cool as your dad? Drink up, junior!"

Poor lady :(
"Drink all you want, he'll still suck in bed."

"Warning: Drinking can result in an extremely poor choice of hats."

"Murder is always legal... when you're drunk."

Alright, that's all for the Mexican monografia posters about alcoholism. I don't know about you people, but I sure learned a lot today and I can't wait to learn more with the next poster! Next on our learning list... LA PROSTITUCIÓN!

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