First/worst time getting drunk

[Sethomas]

I'm not trolling, I'm trying to set you on the right path. We're in this together, man.

To increase your alcohol tolerance, I suggest regular heavy drinking. This may require heavy drinking outside of socially-approved situations, namely by yourself or while driving. At this point in your life, alcohol should be your number-one financial priority so that people might eventually think you're not totally lame.

As for your testicular prominence, the first step is to evaluate exactly how far you fall short. I suggest calculating the volume of your scrotum via liquid displacement (this procedure, undertaken by Archimedes, is the source of the word "eureka" being co-opted into the English language). Once comparison has been made against established norms, the spam folder of your email account should be able to direct you to several reputable venues of natural male enhancement.