Impress me with your injuries.

[Colonel Flagg]

I'm an über-klutz, which is good, since I work with deadly chemicals for a living. Chemicals like ..... SODIUM FLUORIDE!

Anyhoo, hilarious misadventures from my past include setting myself on fire (2nd degree burns) dropping a beaker full of acid (resulting in the early demise of all of my clothing - now THAT was funny!) and hitting myself on purpose with a spanner - well, actually it was an accident, but that doesn't sound nearly as interesting. Expect my laboratory to self immolate any day now.

While in grad school I got a nasty whiff of fluorine gas - gave me the dry heaves for a week.