"Eye Lasers"
Fun AND Handy.

Zod on Eye Lasers

People of the planet Houston, I am addressing you today to inform you about something that is very dear to my heart. That something is "Eye Lasers". I pity you humans. Not just because you are mentally inferior to me, but you can't even enjoy the finer things in life like Eye Lasers.

On the planet Krypton, Eye Lasers were nowhere to be found. However, on this planet Houston which you inhabit, we have super powers thanks to your sun. Here on planet Houston, you little humans are completely powerless. You are easily amused by petty things such as "magic tricks". So when all of you saw my Eye Lasers in action, you instantly knew that I was your rightful leader.

Eye lasers have many uses. Not only are they a very useful weapon in battle, but they can be a very handy tool for many of the things in everyday life. I recently invited Ursa and Non over to my home for a barbecue in my backyard. I told Ursa to bring some "chips" and Non to bring some carbonated beverages. Ursa was successful and brought a bag of "Nacho Cheese flavored Doritos" which I found quite pleasant. Non got confused and brought us a large truck instead (we're still working on Non's intellectual development).

I had the pre-cut slices of cow ready to be prepared for consumption when all of a sudden I realized I didn't have a "barbecue grill"! How was I to have a classic summer barbecue without a grill? Now this would have ruined the day for most of you humans. You would have cancelled the barbecue altogether and then wept all evening over your pathetic failure.

Zod's Steaks: "cooked to perfection"
I, being superior to all of you, simply laid the slices of cow down on the ground, squinted my eyes, and took aim. A mere five seconds later, the cow slices were cooked to perfection, all thanks to my Eye Lasers! It was indeed the greatest barbecue ever. If you disagree, I will kill you.

So as you can see, Eye Lasers can be quite beneficial to anyone. Too bad for you puny humans, you'll never experience what that is like.
That is why I am your ruler. I am here to show you 
what true power is. Never forget that as you continue
on with the lives I have allowed you to have.

KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!

 

 

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