are certainly a peculiar species. You wish to have what you
call "fun" by "celebrating" all sorts of
nonsensical things. I was outraged recently when a group of
your offspring came to my door. First off, these ungrateful
little humans did not even kneel before me. They were all
dressed in ridiculous attire, and when I asked them why they
were dressed like so, they said "It's Halloween silly!
Trick or Treat!" They actually had the NERVE to DEMAND
a "trick or treat" from me!?
It is I,
General Zod... your ruler, who should be demanding from
them! Not the other way around. When I told them I would be
giving them no tricks or treats they became even more
despicable. Things soon got intolerable when one of them who
was dressed up like the skeletal remains of a human said,
"What a dumb costume you have mister! Give us our
taken just seconds before Zod crushed the skeleton boy's
I crushed the boy's head and all of the other children went
running off into the night screaming for their legal guardians
to save them. They even left their bags behind them. Puzzled by
such peculiar children, I looked inside their bags and was
horrified. There were dozens of colorful "treats" in
these bags. But one of the treats in particular caught my eye.
I DEFY YOU
Gobstoppers". Do you humans actually think that you could
make something which was truly "EVERLASTING"? If these
candies are representative of your "everlasting"
technologies I SCOFF at them! And I SCOFF AT EVERY ONE OF YOU!
was able to devour these "Everlasting Gobstoppers"
within mere seconds. I crushed them in between my teeth, and I
could hear their screams with every mighty bite. Your
"Everlasting Gobstopper" technology has failed you.
They cannot stop me. I have defeated them. I ate them and the
boxes in which they were contained. And neither proved to be
were all very foolish to try to create something that I could
not destroy. I am your ruler and I am the only thing on this
planet that is truly EVERLASTING!
furthermore, from this day forth, "Halloween" will be
celebrated with a new rule. You will no longer have your
children celebrate "witches" and "ghosts"
and other similarly absurd concepts. From now on, your children
will all dress up just like their ruler, General Zod. Halloween
will be a celebration of my greatness! If the children fail to
make a worthy tribute to me... they will be killed along with
their guardians. And I do not like the name
"Halloween", so I have decided to change that as well
to make it more suitable for all... ZOD-O-WEEN. Much better.
now I will leave you with your failed Everlasting Gobstopper
technology to look at the greatest "pumpkin carving"
ever made. Only I did not have to use crude tools to carve my
pumpkin like you mortals do. I simply used my eye lasers...
HAPPY ZOD-O-WEEN YOU PATHETIC MORTALS!
to Zod home