With a ruler like me, you'll surely need it.

Zod on "Insurance"

Here on planet Houston, you pathetic humans are constantly damaging both what few items I've allowed you to posses and your own bodies. As a result of your incompetent natures, you require what you call "insurance companies" to "cover your loses" whenever they happen to occur. Of course, such a service does not come free. You have to pay these companies a portion of your slaved finances simply because you have a deep-rooted belief that you can and will botch things up. This is a belief that I happen to agree with, as I witness you fools bumbling about on a daily basis.

Now these companies are known for "covering you" for a number of things. Health insurance, renters insurance, car insurance, life insurance... they even claim to cover you puny mortals against "acts of god". Naturally, when I heard that they were spelling my name incorrectly (as usual) I decided to put an end to these companies.


As you can see, I have destroyed the Geico company along with their precious gecko spokes-lizard. Now I know this comes as a huge disappointment to many of you humans who were fans of this disgusting, squirming little creature... but do not whine or I shall be forced to kill you as well. Since you are all willing to buy insurance from a talking reptile, I have decided to start my own insurance company. The only difference is, you are required by law (MY LAW) to have this insurance.

Perhaps black text would be more fitting for me?
Much more fitting for your rightful leader.

Yes my slaves, with ZODco Direct you are covered against all "Acts of Zod". Should I catch one of you defying me and I decide to let you live (a very rare occurrence), I will still make an example of you by destroying much, if not all of your personal property. However, if you carry ZODco Direct insurance, someone else who was caught off of their knees will be required to rebuild all of your belongings from scratch. If they do not return everything to its original state, they will be killed and another slave will be given the same chance. If you do not have an insurance plan with ZODco Direct, your life will be extinguished immediately. You see? It's quite obvious that ZODco Direct is simply the best choice for all of your insurance needs.

But don't just take my word for it, though I really should kill you for even thinking about questioning my rule. Just see what this loyal slave / customer had to say about the greatest and most powerful insurance company on Houston, ZODco Direct:

He was killed soon after for not kneeling long enough...
Another satisfied slave.

So as you can see, not only will your life be better as a result of joining ZODco, it will also be spared a most gruesome death. And no, I have no desire for your human "currency" as a form of payment in exchange for your coverage. To be covered, all you need to do is paint yourselves jet black (a tribute to me) and burn all of your old insurance documents. Those companies will be of no use to you any longer as I have recently dispatched Non and Ursa to destroy them all. And oh yes, there is one last thing you must do in order to be covered...



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