With a ruler like me, you'll surely need it.
planet Houston, you pathetic humans are constantly damaging
both what few items I've allowed you to posses and your own
bodies. As a result of your incompetent natures, you require
what you call "insurance companies" to "cover your loses"
whenever they happen to occur. Of course, such a service
does not come free. You have to pay these companies a
portion of your slaved finances simply because you have a
deep-rooted belief that you can and will botch things up.
This is a belief that I happen to agree with, as I witness
you fools bumbling about on a daily basis.
companies are known for "covering you" for a number of
things. Health insurance, renters insurance, car insurance,
life insurance... they even claim to cover you puny mortals
against "acts of god". Naturally, when I heard that they
were spelling my name incorrectly (as usual) I decided to
put an end to these companies.
KNEEL BEFORE MY EYE LASERS, DEFIANT GECKO!
As you can
see, I have destroyed the Geico company along with their
precious gecko spokes-lizard. Now I know this comes as a
huge disappointment to many of you humans who were fans of
this disgusting, squirming little creature... but do not
whine or I shall be forced to kill you as well. Since you
are all willing to buy insurance from a talking reptile, I
have decided to start my own insurance company. The only
difference is, you are required by law (MY LAW) to have this
Much more fitting for your rightful leader.
slaves, with ZODco Direct you are covered against all "Acts
of Zod". Should I catch one of you defying me and I decide
to let you live (a very rare occurrence), I will still make
an example of you by destroying much, if not all of your
personal property. However, if you carry ZODco Direct
insurance, someone else who was caught off of their knees
will be required to rebuild all of your belongings from
scratch. If they do not return everything to its original
state, they will be killed and another slave will be given
the same chance. If you do not have an insurance plan with
ZODco Direct, your life will be extinguished immediately.
You see? It's quite obvious that ZODco Direct is simply the
best choice for all of your insurance needs.
just take my word for it, though I really should kill you
for even thinking about questioning my rule. Just see what
this loyal slave / customer had to say about the greatest
and most powerful insurance company on Houston, ZODco
Another satisfied slave.
So as you
can see, not only will your life be better as a result of
joining ZODco, it will also be spared a most gruesome death.
And no, I have no desire for your human "currency" as a form
of payment in exchange for your coverage. To be covered, all
you need to do is paint yourselves jet black (a tribute to
me) and burn all of your old insurance documents. Those
companies will be of no use to you any longer as I have
recently dispatched Non and Ursa to destroy them all. And oh
yes, there is one last thing you must do in order to be
to Zod home