You shall speak it
or you shall perish!
on "The Pledge Of Allegiance"
slaves. You may have heard that "the pledge of allegiance"
was recently declared unconstitutional. But do you pathetic mortals know the real reason behind this? It is
because there was an error in the wording of it, not because
some judge (whom I did not appoint) declared it so. Allow me
to show you:
"And to the republic for which it stands,
one nation under
Yes, a serious typographical error indeed. It should have
read, "One planet under ZOD!" Now the person who wrote this
is already dead, so I cannot punish him for his defiance. However, since I
never allow any defiance to go unpunished, I will kill any
living relatives of this foolish human. This naturally includes
children, their pets, and the children of said pets. And let
this be a lesson to anybody who dares to recite the pledge
with the wrong words...
Anyone who is caught reciting the pledge incorrectly shall
that being said, I am most displeased with how your "news
media" has been reporting this situation. They speak of
separation of the church and state, but they do not even
speak of me. Is this how your "media" functions? Do they
always report such blatant inaccuracies? If that is the
case, then perhaps this explains why your planet was so easy
to conquer. Is there no one here who can challenge me!? The
church and state are no longer, there is only ZOD!
The time has come for you all to learn the truth about what
is going on. The truth is that the defiant "media" has been
shielding your fragile minds from what will become your new
daily routine. You WILL be required to
recite what your "media" refers to as "the pledge of
allegiance", only it will not be called that. I call it "The
Pledge Of Eternal Loyalty To The Greatest And Most Powerful
Ruler In The History Of The Universe, General Zod". Now,
here is how it will be spoken:
allegiance to General Zod
because he now rules Planet Houston
And to Non and Ursa
who stand beside him to carry out his glorious rule
With slavery and injustice for all
This is how
it should have been recited from the start. Not only will
all "students" be required to say this when they arrive at
"school", but so will all humans on earth immediately after they wake
up from their mortal slumbers. Speaking of which, some of you
haven't been kneeling during your sleep. If any of you are
seen "sleeping" without kneeling, your existence shall be
erased. Now, as I said, all humans will be required to say
this "pledge" when they wake, before they eat, before they
drive their automobiles, before they sleep, and of course...
while they kneel. So in essence, there will no longer be
discussion between humans. All verbal energies will be used
for the pledge. You are to recite this pledge
every waking moment of your existence.
And yes, I am aware that your primitive species requires a
"flag" to pledge eternal loyalty to since I cannot stand
before each and every one of you. So, I have created a new
flag for the inhabitants of planet Houston to pledge to:
Your New Flag
a larger, printable version so you can begin pledging now]
isn't it? Dark, daunting, and awe inspiring... it has many
of the qualities which I possess. From this day forth, you
shall all make your "Pledge Of Eternal Loyalty To The
Greatest And Most Powerful Ruler In The History Of The
Universe, General Zod" as you kneel before this flag.
The "Constitution" is no more. Failure to recite this pledge
every waking moment of your life is not deemed
Unconstitutional. No, instead, it shall be considered
unZodstitutional, and such an act of defiance will result
in your immediate demise.
to Zod home