Tired of dealing with
the shenanigans of these lanky ex-presidents, you come right out and say
it: "Ok, which one of you is the traitor!?"
They stare at you for a
bit and then begin to cackle. Not a "ha ha" kind of cackle, but one of
those really creepy, evil sounding cackles where you know something bad
is just around the corner like they're gonna tell you your mom hates you
and your little sister was just raped by the mailman because the mailman
hates you too and figured this would be the best way to upset you. And
while that's not exactly what they're laughing about, it's still not
good news.
"WE ARE THE TRAITOR!
WE ARE ONE!" they blurt out in perfect unison. And then it gets
worse...
In the words of the
great philosopher, Socrates, "HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIT! ALIENS!!!!!!!"
You make a run for it
while you think about how long the aliens have been onto you. For all
you know that wasn't even Dolph or his many adoring fans back at that
movie shoot, but a bunch of alien impostors! Well that settles it then;
you're officially on your own. Nobody can be trusted!
Unfortunately for you,
the Lincoln-head-bursting aliens zapped you with some kind of gluey glob
weapon. Ack! It's getting harder to move! The aliens close in on you and
just when you think all hope is lost...
A giant pterodactyl
swoops down from the sky and grabs you out of the green goo! Hey, don't
ask me, I thought they were extinct too. Either way, at least you've
been spared from whatever the hell those aliens were planning on doing
to you. For all you know, they were gonna prod you to death while you
sat there, squirming around helplessly in that pile of green alien snot.
Whew!
You look off into the
distance and can see that the pterodactyl is now flying you back to its
giant nest. You can see some hungry baby pterodactyls crying out for
their mama. "Gee, they look pretty hungry. I wonder what mama is gonna
feed 'em?" you think to yourself. And then it dawns on you... YOU
are their next meal! Better think fast!
