Of course! The janitor! Surely he'll know to handle a situation like this! After all, he's done a remarkable job at keeping this place clean. Don't let all that thick coat of dirt and grime on the walls fool you... for underneath all that gunk is surely a pristine example of what clean walls look like! In an instant, you dash down the hallway towards the janitor's office in hopes that he can help you out before the large, scary man with the big gash in his forehead does something horrible to you. You kick open the door to the office and find...

Ok, so your situation doesn't appear to be improving much. You've now trapped yourself in between a huge crazed man with a gash on his head and some kind of mutant insectoid janitor monster. It's like that scene from Speed when Dennis Hopper tells Keanu Reeves, "Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do? What do you do?" Only in this situation, Dennis Hopper would be saying something like, "Pop quiz, hotshot. You're stuck between an angry gash-headed man and an insecto-janitor. Once one of them reaches you, you're dead. If both of them reach you, you're dead. What do you do? What do you do?"

A quick examination of your pockets doesn't reveal much except a 1953 Topps Sandy Koufax rookie baseball card (you've been meaning to store it in a better place to retain its value), a "buy one, get one free" value meal coupon from Popeye's Chicken restaurant, and a packet of unhatched Sea Monkey eggs.

"Well damn!" you think to yourself, "How the hell can any of these things get me out of this situation!?"

Say there, sport. You might want to stop thinking to yourself and do something already, because those two creeps are about to do horrible, horrible things to you. So... what do you do? What do you do?

You decide to:

• Tell the two of them that if they have a monstrously gory fight to the death, the winner can have the valuable Sandy Koufax rookie card.
  
  
• Offer to take them both out for a nice dinner at Popeye's Chicken.
  
  
• Pour the Sea Monkeys packet into the nearby puddle on the floor created by a leaky pipe and hope that they grow quickly enough to defend you.
  
  
• Screw what's in your pocket. Grab two handfuls of grimy slime off the walls, chuck it into their eyes and make a run for it.