I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Sethomas]

Guys, know what/whom I remember?

Al Roker.

[MarioRPG]

I remember we talked about him for like, 5 pages a long time ago.

[Fathom Zero]

http://gizmodo.com/376486/superhero-presents-strong-case-for-id-cards-as-states-get-real-id-extension

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

So, is there going to be a gang war with turf involved now?

[Esuohlim]

Al Roker.

Yeah I'm going to go ahead and claim credit for this before Sam does :rolleyes

[Sethomas]

I remember that someone brought up the scenario of coming to the chat thread through a search engine or something and seeing two-thirds of the posts with Al Roker avatars. I found so many things excellent about that image.

[Colonel Flagg]

[...] seeing two-thirds of the posts with Al Roker avatars. I found so many things excellent about that image.

I agree. Not that it means anything, coming from me.

What about the timeline? Are we talking thin Al or fat Al?

[Pub Lover]

I-Mockery Chat(EMOTICON PARTY SQUAD REPREZANT)

[liquidstatik]

SUP DUDES? 8]

[MattJack]

I wish there was an emoticon that had a mustache :(

[MetalMilitia]

I wish there was one that was a cat >:

[Sam]

Yeah I'm going to go ahead and claim credit for this before Sam does :rolleyes

You live in your own little fantasy world don't you?

[bigtimecow]

SO YEAH I STARTED THIS SHIT BEFORE Y'ALL NIGGAS

FUCK Y'ALL

[liquidstatik]

YOU BETTER WATCH IT, KID

[Sam]

BIGTIMEPUNK YOU GOIN DOWNNNNNNNNN

[Pub Lover]

SO YEAH I STARTED THIS SHIT BEFORE Y'ALL NIGGAS

FUCK Y'ALL

You got disqualified for the rainbow gradient shit

[executioneer]

no you didnt i did it befoer you and laughing emoticon did it before i did

[liquidstatik]

WHAT NOW, BIGTIMEJERK

[Sam]

BIGTIMEMOTHERFUCKERYOUGOINDOWNNNNNNN

[GADZOOKS]

I have Bigtimecow on ignore, what did he say

[Pub Lover]

I have all of you on ignore, so get fucked.

[GADZOOKS]

I didn't really I just wanted to disenfranchise him

[GADZOOKS]

Besides you AT LEAST have to registred 2003 or earlier to be in this gang.

Because we all know how terrible 2004 posters are.

[Sam]

They are pretty terrible.

[liquidstatik]

i wouldn't touch a 2004 poster with a 10 foot pole :x

[GADZOOKS]

LETS SEE HERE

SEVENFORCE :rolleyes
BIGTIMECOW :rolleyes
GUITARWOMAN :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes

NEED I SAYYYYYYYYYYYYY MORE?

THE ONLY EXCEPTIONS I SEE ARE BUBSY AND PILLOWFIGHT, AND THEY'VE BEEN AROUND FOREVER.

[Sam]

I AM HORRIFIED AS TO WHAT YOU MIGHT DREDGE UP IF YOU DID SAY MORE.

[Misdemonar]

AND DON'T EVEN MENTION THOSE TERRIBLE 05'ERS!

[GADZOOKS]

Here are some more winners from 2004

Dr. Fu
HILARIOUS GUITAR WOMAN ALT Fahrenheit 1337
MARINE
ThisISWity
BlakeStamper
stichfan626
http://i-mockery.com/forum/image.php?u=2946&dateline=2007
Dynamic Dustin M.
Trippy
The[Hitman]
MUBERT
goatboy
Alive
Johnny Darko

and in all that I found one really great poster: Huond.

2004 SUCKED, THANK GOD JOHN RITTER DID NOT LIVE TO SEE IT

[Esuohlim]

Don't forget Pee Wee Herman :rolleyes :rolleyes

[Sam]

DON'T FORGET MILHOUSE BACKWARDS :rolleyes

[Esuohlim]

:rolleyes (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/member.php?u=415) :rolleyes :rolleyes

[liquidstatik]

:rolleyes

[Sam]

:rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes

[liquidstatik]

HEY SAM

[Sam]

WHAT

[liquidstatik]

:rolleyes

[GADZOOKS]

nice

[Sam]

:rolleyes

[GADZOOKS]

Another noted member was Chris P Bacon who had an avatar that was password protected so you were prompt to put in a password in every thread he was in.

The best and the brightest.

[Esuohlim]

SAM TEH GAY FURRY :rolleyes

[liquidstatik]

lol that was pretty good

[Sam]

:rolleyes:

[GADZOOKS]

I ALSO FORGOT, AND SINCE HIS CONTRIBUTION WAS SO IMPORTANT TO THE FORUM I WILL PUT IT IN THE BIGGEST FONT POSSIBLE.

ARROWX

[Sethomas]

The only thing I remember about Huond was that he was tolerable and for most of his stay had an avatar that was an attractive lass. I didn't know who she was and never bothered to ask, perhaps since I was afraid of the assumption others would make that I'd google the name and spend the next several days in perpetual onanism. The girl was the precise image of a sorta-friend of mine at the time, eerily so for the degree to which comparisons can be made between a lovely in real life and a lovely I've only seen in 150 by 130 pixel form.

[Pub Lover]

Don't worry Seth, we already think you're in perpetual onanism. ;(

[Pub Lover]

DON'T BE SHOCKED BY THE TONE OF MY VOICE
CHECK OUT MY NEW WEAPON, WEAPON OF CHOICE

[Pub Lover]

LISTEN TO THE SOUND OF MY VOICE
YOU CAN CHECK IT ALL OUT, IT'S THE WEAPON OF CHOICE

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/2008/march/freakouteyes.gif

[HickMan]

guys this is ridiculous

[Pub Lover]

WALK WITHOUT RHYTHM
AND IT WON'T ATTRACT THE WORM

[HickMan]

ridiculous

[Pub Lover]

guys this is ridiculous

Infraction gained due to having a loser brother; having a great tan; being a stud

[Pub Lover]

IF YOU WALK WITHOUT RHYTHM
AH, YOU NEVER LEARN

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/2008/march/freakouteyes.gif

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/2008/march/freakouteyes.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/2008/march/freakouteyes.gif

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/2008/march/freakouteyes.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/2008/march/freakouteyes.gif
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[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gif

[HickMan]

So I went the the movies forum for only a few minutes to find this

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gif

[HickMan]

THIS

[Pub Lover]

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[Pub Lover]

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[Pub Lover]

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[HickMan]

THIS

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gif
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[Esuohlim]

Good thing Italian Stereotype doesn't come into this thread because we'd have a murder on our hands :x

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gif
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[HickMan]

I'm about to puke

[Pub Lover]

Good thing Italian Stereotype doesn't come into this thread because we'd have a murder on our hands :x

Oh man, I just PMed him ALL OF THIS! :eek

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[Pub Lover]

I'm about to puke

[Images off]

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[Pub Lover]

since I have all anime avatars adblocked it looks like a the fourth of july in here

...

[HickMan]

IT's ok guys i just got an hj

[Pub Lover]

23

[HickMan]

I love you pub lover

[Pub Lover]

http://www.naturalheadacheremedies.com/images/headache.jpg

[Pub Lover]

IT's ok guys i just got an hj
A what?
I love you pub lover

Haha! Good one, HotStuff! ;)

[liquidstatik]

handjob :rolleyes

[Pub Lover]

Oh, right. Did she have mouth herpies? Or was it a dude?

[HickMan]

We haven't gone that far yet, dude

[Pub Lover]

Kids today with their rating systems & shit.

JUST DO IT OR DON'T DO IT, IT'S ALL A GODDAMNED SIN.

[GADZOOKS]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/i-mock/seizuretimer.gif
way to post a bunch of sevenforce pictures, pub love, oh yeah

fuck you

[Pub Lover]

I am an airmen in the united states airforce.with in the last 3 years my mother has fallen ill and cant work i have put my mother and brother in an appartment and i'm tryin to take care of them the best i can but being in the military makes it hard. i'm only getting 350 a check and all of it is gone by the time i pay rent and utilities for my mother. i really need some help to get around the curve because i can't handle it anymore on my own. my brother helps as much as possible but its still not enough. and soon i will be getting put out of the military if i cant keep this under control. and if that happens my family will be homeless again. i greatly appriciate everyone that helps. i'll be posting whenever i can
god bless
Date: April 02th, 2008

Hi I'm the brother that the person above is talking about in the letter. This was posted on a site called digital Charity.com My sister got several response back. Unfortunally all of the reponse were fake money orders. Our situation is bad. Right now my mother is filing for Disability and it is taking really long for them to process it. This is her second time through. I work for 6.15 an hour and i'm still in school. I again i will repeat This Is Not A SCAM! so unless you are actually willing to help please don't post "oh this is so fake don't buy this shit" and shit like that. trust me if this was a scam I think i could come up with a better lie. So thank you for your time You can donate through paypal on digitalcharity.com. Put in the search on the site "IN URGENT NEED I'M SERVING THE US AND THE US ISN'T SERVING ME"
I wouldn't post this up here if this was not real. mainly because mainly u would probally mock me (ok lets face it your gonna mock me anyway) This is real, My family needs help If u help thamk if u don't then spread this around. I'm actually addicted to this site and a come herer everyday to read at least one article. My favrites types are usally the one mocking the educational films. epsically bus nut (that kid fucking scares me!)

Infraction gained due to MAKING ME PISS MY PANTS FROM LAUGH TOO HARD; spam

[HickMan]

:lol

[GADZOOKS]

This board is going to need a military subforum.

I wish the food forum was back.

[Pub Lover]

fuck you

Way to edit your post, GW. :rolleyes

Also, I couldn't find the original Seizure Time. ;(

[GADZOOKS]

I HAD TO BACKQUOTE

EDIT: fuck you

[Pub Lover]

I'm sure you can find better people to fuck if you only put in a little effort.

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/2008/march/pokemaster.jpg

[liquidstatik]

GET ON 4D PUB :(

[bigtimecow]

fuck you guys :-(

[Guitar Woman]

http://www.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/spock-pink-hair.thumbnail.jpg

[executioneer]

HALFWAY BETWEEN THE GUTTER AND THE STARS

[GADZOOKS]

but mostly in the gutter

[GADZOOKS]

we are talking about guitarwoman, right?

also, internet meme, probably: reported, red carded, banned

[Guitar Woman]

I thought you'd appreciate the fact that someone else on the internet shares your photoshop skills and general sense of humor!

[GADZOOKS]

I don't find star trek funny, reported again.

[GADZOOKS]

http://gprime.net/flash.php/startrekkin

see, not funny

[Guitar Woman]

where do you find this shit D:

[Sam]

THAT IS WHAT YOUR DAD SAID WHEN YOUR MOM BROUGHT YOU HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL! :lol

[GADZOOKS]

holy shit, that was good

[Sam]

THAT IS WHAT HIS MOM SAID AFTER SHE SHAT HIM OUT! :lol

[GADZOOKS]

heh, shat, just like shatner

star trek sucks

[Pub Lover]

...skin bridges...

I remember a google image search involving skin bridged dicks & it having something to do with this forum. I must have blocked it from my mind that it was you. :(

[Pub Lover]

I find baseball boring, such is my opinion.

[Sethomas]

In the same way that soccer is what Americans call what's "football" (or a translated form thereof) to the rest of the world, I thought that you guys called baseball "cricket for retards".

[GADZOOKS]

cool, disagreements are the spice of life

[Pub Lover]

In the same way that soccer is what Americans call what's "football" (or a translated form thereof) to the rest of the world, I thought that you guys called baseball "cricket for retards".

I would, except I have never understood Cricket.

Also Soccer is what I call Soccer.

[GADZOOKS]

I call it footie

[Pub Lover]

WHAT A CRAZY WORLD!

[executioneer]

i call it fun

[Sethomas]

So, last night when I was out on the town there was a cute girl--not really my type, but having a "type" isn't really a luxury I can afford--who was aggressively throwing herself at me within twenty seconds of conversation. Yes, this raises all kinds of red flags*, but paying attention to those kinds of red flags isn't really a luxury I can afford if I'd like to have membership in the society of the sexually prolific. When we were mutually distracted by other things, I had to go find someone but hoped to find her again later. I did not.

I got inspired to look up her name on MySpace. In terms of name, location, and age, the only profile that matched didn't have any pictures and had the appearance of just being porn spam. If it wasn't porn spam, then that means that the skepticism I apply in assuming something to be porn spam is maligned. Thus, by now I may have denied hundreds of random MySpace friend requests from real live sexy hot local singles.

Left with my understanding of reality in shambles, I can but wonder what may have been.

[Colonel Flagg]

[...] When we were mutually distracted by other things, I had to go find someone but hoped to find her again later. I did not.

You obviously did not need the nookie that badly.

[Pub Lover]

Yes, this raises all kinds of red flags*

Me see call to corollary that not be there! What mean?

[Sethomas]

Delayed response.

*
It also raised something in my pants.

[Pub Lover]

Oh, Seth's dick! What a card! :lol

[Sethomas]

I've not been one for the spoilers function to this point, but since it's an issue I've considered utilizing this new and exciting message board technology to distinguish between speaking in character and speaking normally.

If my dick were a card then you couldn't talk from all the paper cuts in your mouth.

[Colonel Flagg]

:lol

[GADZOOKS]

not enough pictures are posted in this thread

Post some funny pictures, NO MEMES!
(milhouse do you have the JUMBALAYA picture :()

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THE TABLES HAVE TURNED FOR THIS LOVELY COUPLE

[Pub Lover]

http://carponline.bravepages.com/karenandrichardstarsedit.jpg

[GADZOOKS]

http://carponline.bravepages.com/karenandrichardstarsedit.jpg

cool

[Pub Lover]

Red X. :rolleyes

[Sam]

WAY TO GO EVERYONE!

[Pub Lover]

Hello good sir(s), I have found your website through an internet search engine.

Excuse my rudeness, I am the estranged brother of President Robert Mugabe of our Queen's nation of Zimbabwe (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mugabe). Women in our country face many dangers as you may know (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7333844.stm), and here is where you good sir may come in. My lovely daughter needs money for an education and I have a fortune of $39,500,000 (thirty nine point five million american dollars) in an offshore banking account that I cannot access without a trustworthy shareholder. I think in our time together I have grown to trust you. All you must do is send me your bank accounts and social security numbers so that the money can be directly transferred to your name. Thank you and God Bless.

Zimbabwe has never had a Queen. Rhodesia did though.

Rule Britannia. :(

[Tadao]

I'm having serious political homo problems ;[

[Pub Lover]

:lol @ Zimbabwe being near Darfur. :(

[Pub Lover]

I'm having serious political homo problems ;[

You & Robert Mugabe both. :lol

[Tadao]

Page break pub! Damit!

[Pub Lover]

No, but I'm kinda thankful to the old guy, without him I wouldn't have had at least half of my childhood friends. :eek

[Pub Lover]

Page break pub! Damit!

Don't worry, I'll just edit one in. ;)

[Esuohlim]

(milhouse do you have the JUMBALAYA picture :()

http://img384.imageshack.us/img384/7122/jambalayain6.jpg

[Pub Lover]

OMG, New Zealand just sided with China. I hope the US doesn't declare war on our new ally, because that might mean trouble for our navy of two canoes, our air force of a battered Cesna & our army that consists of a rusted-out Holden Commodore & four hippies with potato guns. :eek

[GADZOOKS]

Saving that one to my hard drive, I'm going to buy a 12 pack of CD-Rs for copies.

Thanks!

[GADZOOKS]

The picture, not Pub's commie sympathist country :rolleyes

[Esuohlim]

I'm having serious political homo problems ;[

http://img397.imageshack.us/img397/3238/hmoqw1.jpg

I found this picture too :(

[Esuohlim]

http://img338.imageshack.us/img338/6443/bhotimeug2.jpg

And I can only imagine that I made this as a snarky response to the "What are you reading right now" thread.

[Tadao]

Hahahaha

[liquidstatik]

sup dudes?

[liquidstatik]

COOL

[ElPila666]

8]

[bigtimecow]

no one's ever on here when i am :( but of course, i'm about to leave class, and the moment i hit reply someone will respond :(

fuck

[bigtimecow]

or not :-/

[Hobo Renee]

EUROPE REPRESENT!

[Fat_Hippo]

Damn straight.

[Grislygus]

I think I might be a patronizing asshole

I've started hanging out with this girl who likes retarded ass claptrap (anime, offender number one), but I find it absolutely adorable that she likes this shit

[Grislygus]

Anyway, no one cares about that
SETHOMAS' NEWEST THREAD ROCKS AND HE NEEDS TO GO ALL DAVID SEDARIS ON LIFE

[Pub Lover]

What is offender number one?

[bigtimecow]

all of seth's threads lately are awesome

he lives an excellent life

[bigtimecow]

pub we just posted at the same time :o

[Grislygus]

What is offender number one?

ANIME



Hey, maybe that greenday fag should name his crappy band Offender Number One




I'll go tell him

[Esuohlim]

WELL FUCK IF I'M GOING TO GET ANYTHING DONE TODAY >:

AGAIN >:

[Pub Lover]

http://theengagingbrand.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/bored_1.jpg

[Pub Lover]

pub we just posted at the same time :o

Happens to me all day everyday.

[Esuohlim]

SO I RUINED ANOTHER PAGE BRAK >:

W/E

[Pub Lover]

WELL FUCK IF I'M GOING TO GET ANYTHING DONE TODAY >:

AGAIN >:

What is the matter, Mister S?

[Grislygus]

Okay, I'm back

what's goin on

[Esuohlim]

I AM IN A RUT THAT I HAVE NO MOTIVATION TO HOIST MYSELF OUT OF

I HAVE TO GIVE A PRESENTATION ON STUFF I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TALK ABOUT IN 11 DAYS AND IT'S FRANKLY SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME

IT'S BECOMING A HABIT TO DO POORLY ON TESTS I'M SPENDING UP TO FOUR DAYS PREPARING FOR

I AM GOING THROUGH THE HUGEST FUCKING CRUSH OF MY LIFE AND I'VE NEVER EVEN SPOKEN TO HER

A LOT OF THINGS ARE THE MATTER :(

[Grislygus]

That sucks :(


What's the presentation on

[Pub Lover]

YOU'RE THE SON OF THE BIGGEST NAZI SUPPORTER IN BRITAIN AND YOU DECIDE TO DRESS UP A COUPLE OF HOOKERS AS NAZI OFFICERS, HAVE SEX WITH THEM, WHILE PICTURES ARE TAKEN AND WHEN SAID PICTURES ARE LEAKED YOU EXPECT THE ISSUE TO BLOW OVER?

[Pub Lover]

I AM IN A RUT THAT I HAVE NO MOTIVATION TO HOIST MYSELF OUT OF

I HAVE TO GIVE A PRESENTATION ON STUFF I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TALK ABOUT IN 11 DAYS AND IT'S FRANKLY SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME

IT'S BECOMING A HABIT TO DO POORLY ON TESTS I'M SPENDING UP TO FOUR DAYS PREPARING FOR

I AM GOING THROUGH THE HUGEST FUCKING CRUSH OF MY LIFE AND I'VE NEVER EVEN SPOKEN TO HER

A LOT OF THINGS ARE THE MATTER :(

What A Wanker. :rolleyes

[Grislygus]

Also, the test thing is test anxiety, I've never had it but apparently they're training tutors and shit to help students who struggle with it

[Esuohlim]

What's the presentation on

It's materials engineering related. So basically any sources I can find about the subject range from basic common knowledge to ridiculously advanced dissertations and almost nothing in between.

But I've panicked less since I finally did find some scholarly sources that I can understand. The whole talking in front of 40 people about something I may or may not give completely wrong information about is already creating a lump in my stomach :(

[Esuohlim]

What A Wanker. :rolleyes

I'M IN A CRAZY ENOUGH MOOD TO PICK UP MY PHONE AND DIAL 13 NUMBERS SO I'D WATCH IT

[Grislygus]

Ah, well, fuck

If it had to do with history, english, or any form of mythology I'd hook you up but you're on your own with science

[Esuohlim]

Also, the test thing is test anxiety, I've never had it but apparently they're training tutors and shit to help students who struggle with it

This sounds spot on but it must be an entirely new development. On Friday I read through an entire test without instantly knowing how to solve any of the problems. I went into panic mode until I forced myself to calm down and focus. :(

[Fat_Hippo]

Do you have to give this presentation to people who already know a lot about the subject, or just some other students? 'Cause if the audience doesn't know more about the subject than you did when you first started researching it, then you can just throw huge amounts of information at them and they won't know if it's right or not.

[Esuohlim]

PAGE 1457 SERIOUS HOMO DISCUSSION :(

[Esuohlim]

Well yeah since I'm in an engineering class containing only students who are majoring in engineering so yeah I'd say so >:

[Grislygus]

My friend's dealing with that anxiety stuff right now in Cal State Fullerton, I'm coaching him on studying the shit out of it weeks beforehand and the day before and on the test just doing something totally relaxing

[Fat_Hippo]

Fuck.

[Grislygus]

He's not doing that great though, he can't actually relax unless he mentally decides "Fuck it" on those two days

[Esuohlim]

I'M IN A CRAZY ENOUGH MOOD TO PICK UP MY PHONE AND DIAL 13 NUMBERS SO I'D WATCH IT

lol that shut you up but good :o

[Fat_Hippo]

It's very difficult to force yourself into a "fuck it" mentality. I'd know, because theoretically, I know I'm getting through into next year no matter what my grades are the rest of the year, but I still can't force myself not to care. It sucks.

[Grislygus]

Now, what's the presentation gonna be about, how long is it, etc

In my experience, the key to essay tests and involved presentations is finding a springboard straight into and through the material

[Esuohlim]

What's been going on lately is that I've got the material down pat, then in the test taking situation it pretty much disappears from my brain until 20 minutes after the test and I'm like "well fuck >:"

I have been stressed out these last few months though. I need summer >:

[Grislygus]

If you can find an activity that truly relaxes you and lets you phase out for a few hours, you'll be set


I really don't know what non-art people do to relax that much, though :(

[Esuohlim]

Now, what's the presentation gonna be about, how long is it, etc

OK well in a nutshell I have to talk about technologies for improving sintering behavior during processing. And it has to be 10-12 minutes long.

Since any sources I can find deal with very specific situations (doping zirconium oxide-based ceria with gallium blah blah blah) I'm just going to go over five or six very specific examples instead of doing a broad overview since sintering behavior all depends on the materials you're working with anyway.

Now that I think about it I pretty much have a handle on the material, it's just stage fright I'm worried about. I haven't given a presentation since high school and that was on books that have been banned from libraries >:

[Esuohlim]

If you can find an activity that truly relaxes you and lets you phase out for a few hours, you'll be set

If relaxation means completely taking your mind off of worries then I'm afraid I haven't found anything that works yet :( :( :(

I used to write a lot but I haven't had the desire to do such a thing in quite a while.

And Pub Lover might say that that's a good thing :rolleyes

[Grislygus]

Do you know any of the other students that well

[Esuohlim]

Are you kidding. We're engineering majors. We don't talk to other people :lol

[Esuohlim]

PAGE 1457 SERIOUS HOMO DISCUSSION :(

PAGE 1458 TOO :(

[Grislygus]

Well, the best advice I can give you is to practice giving the presentation many, many, many times in as casual a way as possible, helps you get a gameplan going and focusing on talking about it casually lets you become comfortable talking about it, and that's really the whole issue


As far as relaxing goes, I'd recommend bunch of coloring books.

I know how goddamn retarded that sounds, but just spending an hour listening to music that makes you feel good while doing art is one of the easiest things to do that can relax you. You personally won't care about the art, what you need is something mindless, fun, and completely inconsequential, so I'd recommend coloring books

Just don't let your dorm mates see you

[MarioRPG]

As far as relaxing goes, I'd recommend bunch of coloring books.

I know how goddamn retarded that sounds, but just spending an hour listening to music that makes you feel good while doing art is one of the easiest things to do that can relax you. You personally won't care about the art, what you need is something mindless, fun, and completely inconsequential, so I'd recommend coloring books

This actually sounds like an ingenious idea.

[Sethomas]

Well, the actual best way to relax is to recline on Persian velvet cushions while separate teams of exotic women simultaneously feed you tropical fruit, fan you with peacock feathers, and creatively stimulate your noble organ.

At least, per my opinion that's the best way to relax.

[Grislygus]

THis is after the whole vomitorium thing, right

I'm pretty sure that would un-relax you a little bit

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I know this sounds bad but if I have to give a presentation amongst peers I start off with the polar bear joke.

"How much does a polar bear way? Enough to break the ice." Then just go right into your presentation.

[Esuohlim]

I DON'T GET IT

GREAT I AM MORE NERVOUS

[Sam]

I am an expert on presentations and speeches!

[Sethomas]

Well, the only other polar bear joke I can think of is the one where you put a black dot in the middle of a piece of paper and ask if anyone knows what it is.

When the flood of stupid remarks is through, you reply "a polar bear blinking in the middle of a blizzard".

I think that would be a far better polar bear joke to share at the beginning of an engineering class lecture.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

A polar bear is enough to break the ice, which hopefully a few people will laugh, thereby breaking the ice and raising the interaction level of the room. Opposed to just giving them a bunch of information right away.

That or see if you can go over your speech with your professor beforehand.

[Sam]

I know a polar bear joke and it ends with animal abuse and potty double-talk. :(

[Sethomas]

What's the difference between a polar bear and an onion?

Pretty much anyone will cry when they mince and onion, but if you cry while mincing a live polar bear it means you're a faggot.

[Esuohlim]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiMR9Nwe-NY

A POLAR BEAR IS NOT ENOUGH TO BREAK THE ICE SO I DON'T BELIEVE THAT IS AN ACCURATE METHOD OF MEASURING A POLAR BEAR'S WEIGHT YOU SEE

[Esuohlim]

How do you keep a polar bear from charging?

Make it pay in cash.

I will use that one

[Sethomas]

Yeah, in fact a large portion of the polar bear's natural biome includes ice masses in the artic circle that aren't even supported by the North American or Asiatic continental land masses.

I think his science is rather flawed.

[executioneer]

what time is it when a polar bear sits on ur fence

TIME TO BUY A NEW FENCE

[Esuohlim]

Well, the only other polar bear joke I can think of is the one where you put a black dot in the middle of a piece of paper and ask if anyone knows what it is.

When the flood of stupid remarks is through, you reply "a polar bear blinking in the middle of a blizzard".

I think that would be a far better polar bear joke to share at the beginning of an engineering class lecture.

I remember this from Calvin & Hobbes so I am most pleased.

I think I'll scrap my initial presentation idea and just go with polar bear jokes as they seem to be closer to if not within my comfort zone. :(

[Chojin]

how do you stop a polar bar that's spinning on a clothesline

you can't :<

[Esuohlim]

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS AN ATHEIST WITH A POLAR BEAR?

A BLIND BEAR

BECAUSE...

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Polar bear walks into a bar and asks for a___________________________________________ drink. Bartender says sure but why the big pause. Polar looks down and say I don't know, I've always had them.

[executioneer]

KNOCK KNOCK

WHOS THERE

POLAR BEAR

POLAR BEAR WH*AUUGH* (gets mauled)

[Sam]

THE JOKE I COULDN'T REMEMBER IS SOMETHING LIKE: HOW DO YOU TRAP A POLAR BEAR?

YOU JUST CUT A BIG HOLE IN THE ICE AND DUMP SOME PEAS BY IT THEN GO HIDE. WHEN THE POLAR BEAR COMES OVER TO TAKE A PEA, YOU KICK HIM IN THE ICE-HOLE.

Or something to that effect. :rolleyes

[executioneer]

hahaha

[Sethomas]

Nobody's brought up the best scrutiny of the original polar bear joke idea.

Let's say he uses that joke at the beginning of his lecture and moves on as normal. Using demographic information we have at hand, namely that it's an engineering-related class setting, we can assume both that a large portion of the students have laptops and that, beyond the well-merited argument that most Asperger kids don't really have Asperger's, this IS an engineering-related class we're talking about. From this we can conclude that there is a large chance bordering on statistical certainty that a student with Asperger's Syndrom will be in attendance with a laptop.

The natural conclusion is that, provided his classroom has wireless as most major American campuses provide in lecture halls, within a few seconds of the joke being told his lecture will have been interrupted by someone providing a zoological answer to the standard weight range of polar bears after having accessed the related Wikipedia article.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

oh, about the polar bear breaking the ice. Find a video of a polar bear breaking ice looking for seals. I'm at work and don't have access to youtube. A polar bear will smell the air to find an underground seal, then stomp the ice to where the seal is, then....well eat the seal.

[Sethomas]

Wow. Guys, that was scary.

A few months ago my former internet provider sold their hold on this region to Comcast. Comcast continued to provide me with the internet service I've grown to love, but every time I've tried to pay them they've refused to take my money.

I guess I figured it was out of a generosity welling from the depths of their kind hearts. I'd keep trying to pay them, but no! They would not take the bank draft data I had provided them and actually use it.

Eventually I began to notice statements that would include reminders of how much I SHOULD be paying them, replete with indications of the late fees that WOULD be incurred to this point, but since this was always on the same page as which stated that they had my financial information on file along with my preference for automatic withdrawal, I knew they were just teasing me.

I'd even call them just to say hello out of appreciation for their goodwill in giving me internet service, and I'd express my desire to reward them accordingly, but they always managed to employ what those in the humanities call "Socratic Irony". They craftily expressed a point, presumably that they love me, by feigning a lack of knowledge or understanding.

Well, today they shut off my internet and by extreme measures I was able to get it back on without paying their minion another $40 to drive the two blocks from their office to my house.

I'm really not that good at the whole spiteful retort thing, but the image I have in mind that should be expressed in some pithy way is this: they should perform felatio on a hog, but do it in an amateur way such that the swine's coiled phallus ends up ejaculating into their trachea. The image of them (because a nebulous corporation such as Comcast can be personified as a small number of responsible individuals in my mind) drowning to death in pork semen isn't particularly apt, and not really all that good as these things go, but it suits me fine.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I hate companies where the callcenter and field techs are nowhere near the same page. They usually only have one thing in common.


(call center ( you getting screwed ) Field Support)

Bad VENN diagram but you get the idea.

[Sethomas]

Wait, I do?

Yeah, I was in fact careful to let the field service guy know that I wasn't mad at HIM because some idiots with three times his salary in another state can't properly code a database.

[ElPila666]

they should perform felatio on a hog, but do it in an amateur way such that the swine's coiled phallus ends up ejaculating into their trachea. The image of them (because a nebulous corporation such as Comcast can be personified as a small number of responsible individuals in my mind) drowning to death in pork semen isn't particularly apt, and not really all that good as these things go, but it suits me fine.
:orgasm What's happening to you lately? Are you writing an erotic book or something?

[Asila]

I fell down a flight of stairs today and now I can't bend my knee. :( That's probably... not good, right?

[Sethomas]

Maybe it's your body's way of telling you to avoid stairs.

[Asila]

Maybe it's my body's way of telling me to avoid shoes with no tread on the bottom. Or... being so pleased with myself that I've a jaunty step.

[Sethomas]

Well, my point was that it's hard to climb stairs without bending the knees. It's possible, but most people would avoid it because of how society would judge you.

You're right in that it makes putting on shoes more difficult, but since the presence of tread on them is irrelevant and the wearing of shoes has a positive general effect on well-being, it seems unlikely that this is the message your body is trying to send.

[Sethomas]

Ha, mixing up subjects within the same clause is funny.

"most people would avoid [awkward climbing of stairs] because of how society would judge you"

It implies something like "I would walk all crazy-like up these stairs, but people can be so cruel to Asila and Asila doesn't need that."

[Asila]

Well, my point was that it's hard to climb stairs without bending the knees. It's possible, but most people would avoid it because of how society would judge you.

You're right in that it makes putting on shoes more difficult, but since the presence of tread on them is irrelevant and the wearing of shoes has a positive general effect on well-being, it seems unlikely that this is the message your body is trying to send

This may fail to surprise you, but that's an excellent point that I had not considered. The extra exercise be damned, I knew there was a good reason for elevators.

[Sethomas]

Sometimes, I also talk to people via instant messaging.

Seth: I haven't seen The Ring, but I get the general idea: people see weird video and get a warning that they will die soon, prophesy comes true
Seth: the thing is, that movie was released just early enough
Seth: that they didn't have to have a character put it on YouTube and thus turn it into a Doomsday scenario movie

Eh.

Seth: it's weird having social networks now
Important Person: hah
Important Person: why?
Important Person: because people are ridiculous like they were in middle school?
Seth: because even if you're not in touch through them, you see that people from your ancient past still exist
Seth: for the most part
Important Person: yeaaah
Important Person: that is weird
Seth: and when you realize that someone from your ancient past ISN'T visible like that
Seth: you just assume they stopped existing
Important Person: hah
Important Person: yeah
Seth: things were so much simpler in the middle ages. you knew how your fellow serfs were doing because none of you were allowed to leave the fiefdom, and at some point you'd attend their funerals and they, yours.
Important Person: haha
Important Person: so true
Seth: it's not like someone would disappear and you'd have to ask, "where'd Isodore go?" and have someone tell you "oh, the Tartars got him"
Seth: 'cuz really, if the Tartars come to get someone, they'd probably get you too

(My interlocutor is presented in pseudonym to protect her* from the kinds of people who frequent this message board.)

*I know what you're wondering. Yes, we have made out, but she lives far, far away now so this shouldn't detain any of you ladies from pursuing me.

[Fat_Hippo]

Are all your conversations like this?:lol

[MetalMilitia]

The front page of icanhascheezburger is good today!

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/funny-pictures-orange-cat-invisible-dance-partner.jpg
:lol

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/funny-pictures-wet-cat-does-ring-impression.jpg
:chatter

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/funny-pictures-cat-talk-to-the-hand.jpg
:lol

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/funny-pictures-orange-kitten-sink-bath-betrayal.jpg
:tear

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/funny-pictures-cat-caught-in-cereal-box.jpg
:lol

[HickMan]

I hate internet cats

[MetalMilitia]

My guess is you can't follow the highly cerebral narrative contained within each image.:posh

[Pandajuice]

Internet cats are cool if the text isn't emo-internet-alized. Is the text on the photos that much funnier when written by a retard?

No.

[Sethomas]

Okay. Go up and look at those pictures. Take the white macro text and pretend that it's written in normal, orthographic spelling and follows normal punctuation and capitalization standards.

When I did that, it was funny to me because I have the frame of context that held it against the established lolcats norms. That is, I derive humor from seeing normal text where my mind has been conditioned to see facetious attacks on the English language. Now, WITHOUT that a priori, it wouldn't be funny at all. We know this because within the history of photography, there is a long chapter that spans over a century involving pictures of cats being captioned by a wide spread of personality types including grandmothers, volunteer Girl Scout leaders, and marketing strategists for companies in the motivational poster industry.

I will be quick to note that the only historically significant instance when this was ever funny involves a lithographic illustration for a children's song popular in the 1890s*. Even in this case, the humor derives from an anachronistic association with the precise verbiage employed and not comic mastery. The English language had to evolve for at least fifty years to sufficiently associate the word "pussy" with the female pudendum and thus provide sufficient unintended irony.


*I love little Pussy, her coat is so warm,
And if I don't hurt her she'll do me no harm.
I'll sit by the fire and give her some food,
And Pussy will love me, because I am good.

[liquidstatik]

I hate internet cats
...

[Sethomas]

The cat that lives in my condo (it's not mine, it belongs to my flatmate's girlfriend and I tolerate this because the of the odd chance I might have a female visitor who will sex me because I have a cat in my abode) is always leaving evidence that he accomplished some amazing feat of manual dexterity. We can only assume, then, that he was born with an evolutionary mutation for opposing thumbs. If he ever breeds, the only conclusion is that humanity is pretty well fucked.

I always figured I'd be somehow involved with the opening chapters of the eschaton, but this is really not what I had in mind.

[liquidstatik]

my cat kills birds and brings them to me, then i pet him and call him a killer :o

[Guitar Woman]

I love the cereal box one ;>

[liquidstatik]

does anyone else think it feels good when you hold in your shits?

[Guitar Woman]

so I'm considering a career in criminal justice!

crime scene investigation, to be more specific. I've pretty much got WHAT IT TAKES, and can't think of anything better to do

[terrva]

I can't hold in my shits, i have coeliac disease.

[liquidstatik]

that suks terrva :<

[MetalMilitia]

so I'm considering a career in criminal justice!

crime scene investigation, to be more specific

Which one, Vegas, Miami or New York?

[Guitar Woman]

http://www.sf.tv/piccache/webtool/data/pics/serienmanualx/csi_miami_w573_h_m.jpg



YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

[MetalMilitia]

YOU SET EM UP, I'LL KNOCK EM DOWN

[terrva]

that suks terrva :<

It's not that bad, i have learned how to get on the can before the shit hits the fan. Or my pants.

[MetalMilitia]

You'd better get practising standing up while taking off sunglasses and making a clever quip which somehow relates to the immediate situation.

[liquidstatik]

pandajuice is such a suckup, guys ;<

[Esuohlim]

so I'm considering a career in criminal justice!

crime scene investigation, to be more specific. I've pretty much got WHAT IT TAKES, and can't think of anything better to do

THIS POST USED TO SAY JUST "YES", BTW

[liquidstatik]

HOW'D HE GET HIS EDIT BUTTON BACK >:

[Esuohlim]

THAT IS TO SAY, GW LIKES HOLDING IN SHITS TOO

[Esuohlim]

A LOT

[liquidstatik]

I BET HE'D RATHER HAVE 'EM GOIN IN AND OUT THOUGH

[liquidstatik]

AT SUPER HIGH SPEEEDS :x

[RaNkeri]

I can't hold in my shits, i have coeliac disease.

I have the one that takes down your intestinal villus. You won't feel anything, but if you let it be that way for too long you'll get all kinds of nasty side effects.

When I was diagnosed with celiac disease I was also diagnosed with anemia and osteoporosis, all this because the disease had fucked up my small intestine :/

[Sethomas]

Has anyone made a macro of W.C. Fields with the text, "SERIOUS HOBO PROBLEMS...? :-("?

Or perhaps something similar with one of the antiquated images of our prodigal daughter Renee buried deep in the PYPH thread (Pub, some help?)?

Discuss.

[liquidstatik]

I'm proud to be disease free 8]

[Sethomas]

I thought about discussing the latest news of my intestinal functions back when Zomboid made his thread. The question of how such crassness would tarnish my character veneer was a lingering deterrent that I guess would now be solved with my new spoilers shtick.

But now, the issue has passed so I don't really feel like it.

In a long series of cause and effect that sounds far more bizarre in terse summary than it really is: my weird sense of religious obligation led to me to putting aloe vera gel enhanced with lidocaine on my rectum a week after my obligations ended, and the resulting sensation changed my life in ways I'm not prepared to understand.

[liquidstatik]

:lol

[Pub Lover]

LADIES LADIES LADIES, PUB IS IN THE HOUSE! :D

[GADZOOKS]

THIS POST USED TO SAY JUST "YES", BTW

Knowing him, it probably would of had a picture of M. Bison too if it wasn't for MEME JUSTICE.

[Sethomas]

People who come to this thread who are new or are just visiting won't understand that liquid's emoticon expressing laughter was directed not at the image I created, but that I implied myself to be psychologically capable of writing in "terse summary" and furthermore actually posting it.