I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Aaarg]

OH CUTE PUPPIES

i could never do animal control. i care too much about animals and too little about people.

[b_squared]

OH CUTE PUPPIES

i could never do animal control. i care too much about animals and too little about people.

Same here.

[Kitsa]

I went into our animal shelter to buy a license for my dog, and I was behind an old lady who was shoving a terrified cat across the counter at the employees and telling them she wanted it to be euthanized. When they told her that it was a young, healthy cat and they wanted the chance to adopt it out instead, she screeched and insisted and told them that it slept on her legs and kept her up at night and she wanted it dead.

They finally took it from her, and after she left I said something to them about people being insane and horrible and they agreed with me. I figured they were going to keep the cat for a couple of days at least and try to adopt it out. I don't know why I assumed that, but I did.

As soon as I got home, I started making calls all over the place for someone from a no-kill shelter to take in this cat. Finally, a couple of hours later I called back and said I had secured a spot for it and that I would come to pick it up. They told me they euthanized the cat 10 minutes after I left. Apparently when someone demands the animal be killed, they have to kill it.

That poor cat did nothing more than try to curl up on a cranky old woman's legs, and now it's dead. If I'd known they were going to euthanize it like that, I would have grabbed it out of her arms and run with it. I felt so horrible. I cried and threw up for about three days, and then I cried for a full week after that. Now I won't step foot in the shelter again.

[Aaarg]

Wow. What an asshole.

I hate having three cats and I resent the fact that at least two of them will outlive my dog, but I couldn't imagine getting rid of them. I wake up to my face being tickled by whiskers almost every morning, but fuck. They're my cats.

[b_squared]

All shelters are different. We would have kept it if it were adoptable. Of course that depends on how full we are. If we are full of stray animals we have to hold them by law. So we have no room for the owner surrendered animals unfortunately they will have to go. We network like crazy to find homes for all of them and foster out as much as we can.
Those puppies I had were surrendered by the owner who bred the parents. He brought them in too young, still needing to nurse. We begged him to keep them with the momma till they we 8 weeks old then we could take them and adopt them, otherwise they would be put down. He said it was too much trouble and left them with us. I took them, fostered them, bottle fed them three to four times a night, then weaned them to solid food, potty and crate trained them, then found them homes just so they would not be put down. A month before I did the same with a litter of kittens.

Dealing with people like you described is why I feel like I do towards people. And she is just the tip of the crazy iceberg I see on a daily basis.

Sorry for the rant. tomorrow starts my vacation, and boy do I need it.

[Tanuki]

I went into our animal shelter to buy a license for my dog, and I was behind an old lady who was shoving a terrified cat across the counter at the employees and telling them she wanted it to be euthanized. When they told her that it was a young, healthy cat and they wanted the chance to adopt it out instead, she screeched and insisted and told them that it slept on her legs and kept her up at night and she wanted it dead.

They finally took it from her, and after she left I said something to them about people being insane and horrible and they agreed with me. I figured they were going to keep the cat for a couple of days at least and try to adopt it out. I don't know why I assumed that, but I did.

As soon as I got home, I started making calls all over the place for someone from a no-kill shelter to take in this cat. Finally, a couple of hours later I called back and said I had secured a spot for it and that I would come to pick it up. They told me they euthanized the cat 10 minutes after I left. Apparently when someone demands the animal be killed, they have to kill it.

That poor cat did nothing more than try to curl up on a cranky old woman's legs, and now it's dead. If I'd known they were going to euthanize it like that, I would have grabbed it out of her arms and run with it. I felt so horrible. I cried and threw up for about three days, and then I cried for a full week after that. Now I won't step foot in the shelter again.
Oh my god....

The most that happened when I worked at a humane society was the rabid chihuahua incident.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Kitsa. Internet hug.

[Aaarg]

I bet. Too stressful for me.

There's a local dog that hangs out around my house a lot. She has owners and the owner actually came here looking for her once, which is a damn shame because we were going to sneak her away to get her fixed one time but I guess that would be illegal or something - or some rednecks would burn our house down.

Anyway, she gets pregnant every few months, and it's terrible. The last time she did, she gave birth to fifteen puppies. Thirteen of them were dead when the owners found them - and the man just made a comment about how he's been waiting so long for a "blue male puppy" to no avail. You fucking prick.

The dog is normally out and about in the neighborhood, but sometimes for a week or two she'll disappear. I'm assuming they keep her inside (not their house, maybe a shed or something) for some reason, because when she does show back up she'll be skinny as hell. We keep a big bag of cheap dog food here to feed her all the time, and she often gets left-overs and the like.

She's missing an eye and clearly has not received any medical attention for that fact.

Such a sweet, happy dog.

Such a bunch of fucking stupid hicks.

I'm always afraid I'll see her dead in the road.

[Zomboid]

Today's bot birthdays look like they belong to a string of Scottish highland villages.

:lol

[creeposaurus]

My grandma's friend keeps two of her dogs and a cockatiel in their garage. Here. Where's it hot. All the time. They also give their grandkids pets like they're fucking toys or something and the kids almost always end up mortally wounding them. Idiots.

She once offered to babysit my daughter. Lol.

[Colonel Flagg]

Apparently when someone demands the animal be killed, they have to kill it.

I'm going to check this statement out, because that is f***ing insane.

[Tanuki]

I bet. Too stressful for me.

There's a local dog that hangs out around my house a lot. She has owners and the owner actually came here looking for her once, which is a damn shame because we were going to sneak her away to get her fixed one time but I guess that would be illegal or something - or some rednecks would burn our house down.

Anyway, she gets pregnant every few months, and it's terrible. The last time she did, she gave birth to fifteen puppies. Thirteen of them were dead when the owners found them - and the man just made a comment about how he's been waiting so long for a "blue male puppy" to no avail. You fucking prick.

The dog is normally out and about in the neighborhood, but sometimes for a week or two she'll disappear. I'm assuming they keep her inside (not their house, maybe a shed or something) for some reason, because when she does show back up she'll be skinny as hell. We keep a big bag of cheap dog food here to feed her all the time, and she often gets left-overs and the like.

She's missing an eye and clearly has not received any medical attention for that fact.

Such a sweet, happy dog.

Such a bunch of fucking stupid hicks.

I'm always afraid I'll see her dead in the road.

My aunt and uncle rescued a dog from that condition. They sued the owners for animal cruelty charges and the dog lived ten more happy years with my aunt and uncle.

Just steal the dog away.

[Aaarg]

We have a dog and three cats and all are rescued strays from this same location. And a crested gecko, but he's not a stray. We really can't afford to take in more animals right now. Not while renting.

And we'll be looking for new places to live soon, and it's going to be haaaaard.

Also I don't think she's ever been inside a house. If you eat outside she will jump in your face, haha.

I tried convincing somebody I worked with to come and take her, and she almost did.

[Guitar Woman]

This thread makes me want to hug my cat. D:

[Tanuki]

We have a dog and three cats and all are rescued strays from this same location. And a crested gecko, but he's not a stray. We really can't afford to take in more animals right now. Not while renting.

And we'll be looking for new places to live soon, and it's going to be haaaaard.

Also I don't think she's ever been inside a house. If you eat outside she will jump in your face, haha.

I tried convincing somebody I worked with to come and take her, and she almost did.
Have you called animal control yet?

[Womti]

thread backups

[Womti]

Bam Bam. Two people banned. Just like that.

:suicide

[Fathom Zero]

gyah

[Womti]

or maybe... if we could just somehow manage to slice open that nasty little artery over to the right of our heart...... :lol

[k0k0]

My ex girlfriend collected animals and it was horrible. I couldn't stop her either and it's the reason why I left her. I myself had a dog and 2 quaker parrots that I taught how to talk. Over the 2 years I was with her, my house slowly became filled with 3 dogs, 4 cats, my 2 parrots, 3 more birds, an iguana, 3 snakes, 2 lizards, 3 different aquariums full of fish, and at the end, a pot bellied pig. The house smelled like shit.

It was the last straw when I came home one day and was greeted by a german shepherd holding one of my quakers in its mouth dead. I had no idea why this random dog was in our house, but it killed and ate both of my birds that I had weaned and bottle fed. Hers were fine. She said that someone at work gave her a free german shepherd and so she got it and let it loose in the house then went back to work. I made her leave and take all the animals with her except the dog and pig (which I had grown attached to). I ended up giving the pig to a farm in the country that bred potbellied pigs after my house got foreclosed on but I still have my little chihuahua.

[creeposaurus]

I love Quaker Parrots. They're like cute, chubby little feathered people. D':

Animal hoarding is so bad, when it gets out of hand.

[Shrubfest]

Pub's just telling me about how hard he is.

Y'all should send him more dick pics.

[Grislygus]

If the leg pics didn't scare him off, I don't know what will

[Colonel Flagg]

We adopted a beagle with a broken leg. Her former owner had run over her leg with his truck and dropped her at the SPCA with the statement "If this dog is too dumb to get out of the way of my truck, I don't want her."

Idiot.

Prognosis was not good, but she made a complete recovery anyway, without surgery. :)

[k0k0]

I love Quaker Parrots. They're like cute, chubby little feathered people. D':

Animal hoarding is so bad, when it gets out of hand.

Yeah, quakers are my favorite bird. They're smart as shit, but tiny enough to not take up much space. They each have different personalities too. I haven't gotten another since those two died, but someday I will. I want to be able to bottle feed them first though. All the ones I've seen around here are already weaned and so they won't think I'm their mama.

[LordSappington]

I fucking love animals. It's going to be hard to decide what animals I'll have at a time.
I want a ferret and/or two rats, but I hated cleaning cages, and you have to really make the house safe for them in every crevice.

There are some horses on someone's land I pass by when I head home from work, and I usually buy them a $1 bag of organic carrots to feed to them. I probably look pretty out of place; some teen with a mohawk feeding horses. I love those big guys. :tear

[elx]

GET A MUDKIPS

[elx]

Uleb3MlZ4JU

[Grislygus]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WILLIE IS UNSTOPPABLE NOW, BOW BEFORE YOUR NEW GOD, MAY HE SOON FINISH PLAYING THE @#$!ING OREGON TRAIL IN THE SUNKEN CITY OF R'LYEH AND RISE TO DESTROY THE WORLD OF MEN

[ThrashO]

gus, whats up bro.

[ThrashO]

:I

[Shrubfest]

So, I have to finish my final year proposal this week. I'm alternating between 'This is easy, just have some more tea and then write it all' and 'Dude I have no idea what I'm talking about. Seriously. I'll do more research.'

Neither result in actual written work.

:(

[Fathom Zero]

modern guilt, I'm under lock and key

[Womti]

if this site bans me... then I'm going to go have a cigarette :rolleyes

[Fathom Zero]

:oneofthosedays

[Grislygus]

I love how it thinks we care

[Grislygus]

gus, whats up bro.

HELLO, NEPHEW

[Womti]

I love how it thinks we care


I HATE how you think we care >:

[ThrashO]

ITS TOO LATE EVERY1S AWAKE NOW IT COULDVE JUST BEEN US. >:





:(




just...



...us...




:tear

[Womti]

:chatter

[ThrashO]

:chatter

SHUT THE FUCK UP

[Womti]

:fu

[Fathom Zero]

arbeit nervt

[ThrashO]

:fu

http://edge.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/730195/81665367.jpg

[Fathom Zero]

today is an okay day

[Tadao]

Pub's just telling me about how hard he is.

Y'all should send him more dick pics.

:dylansnipples

[executioneer]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WILLIE IS UNSTOPPABLE NOW, BOW BEFORE YOUR NEW GOD, MAY HE SOON FINISH PLAYING THE @#$!ING OREGON TRAIL IN THE SUNKEN CITY OF R'LYEH AND RISE TO DESTROY THE WORLD OF MEN

PICKLEGEDDON BEGINS NOW

[Colonel Flagg]

:fu

And we thought you were gone.

[Tanuki]

I'm still finishing up on my Splash Woman costume and I'm having papier mache issues...

[Tadao]

Let's have a look. ;)

[Tadao]

:pagebrak
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v324/jv2k10/Lol%20splashwoman%2034/216614-Mega_ManMega_man_9Splash_Wom.png

[Grislygus]

I HATE how you think we care >:

The fuck are you even jabbering about?

Are you a retarded parrot or something

[Grislygus]

Tadao, I don't really want to know where you got that but, back to the main issue; who the hell is spaghetti, is he ever going to actually make fun of anybody, or is he just going to keep going off like an confused and angry retirement home resident

[executioneer]

who the hell is spaghetti, is he ever going to actually make fun of anybody, or is he just going to keep going off like an confused and angry retirement home resident
it's womti, probably not, more like confused and angry homeless person

[Fathom Zero]

l-ITv4OBV9c

:lighter

:tears

[Grislygus]

WINONA STOLE MY COOKIES, THAT THIEVING BITCH

My son's in the air force

I'm sure he has a very good reason for never calling me. Military stuff, you see. Top Secret.

NO! NO! I WON'T TAKE MY MEDICINE! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! IF YOU DON'T BACK OFF I'M GOING TO SHIT MYSELF RIGHT HERE, I SWEAR TO GOD

I USED TO BE SOMEBODY! I WAS IN PICTURES! HAD A BIG HOUSE WITH A NEGRO AND EVERYTHING

JACKSON, DAMMIT, I WANT MY JELLO! GIVE ME MY JELLO, JACKSON! GET IT FOR ME! JACKSON, YOU LOUSY JEW BASTARD, DON'T IGNORE ME OR YOU'RE FIRED


Jackson? Jackson, where's Jackson, oh God, he died, didn't he? What year is it? NO, I WON'T CALM DOWN, WHAT YEAR IS IT? OH JESUS, WHAT YEAR IS IT

You're talent show can suck my flaccid old-man dick, I'm not going anywhere! ROCKFORD FILES TIME

Why doesn't my son call me anymore?


The worst part is the loss of dignity.

[Fathom Zero]

I remember being embarrassing when I was 13 on the internet, too.

[Fathom Zero]

I remember being embarrassing when I was homeless and mentally disabled, too.

[Fathom Zero]

Debussy didn't believe in god.
He didn't believe in the Establishment. He didn't believe in bourgeois convention.
He didn't believe in Beethoven or Wagner.
He believed in...
Debussy.

[Fathom Zero]

I remember being embarrassing when I trapped small animals and burnt them, too.

[Womti]

Originally Posted by Spaghetti http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=732753#post732753)
WINONA STOLE MY COOKIES, THAT THIEVING BITCH

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spaghetti http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=732753#post732753)
My son's in the air force

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spaghetti http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=732753#post732753)
I'm sure he has a very good reason for never calling me. Military stuff, you see. Top Secret.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spaghetti http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=732753#post732753)
NO! NO! I WON'T TAKE MY MEDICINE! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! IF YOU DON'T BACK OFF I'M GOING TO SHIT MYSELF RIGHT HERE, I SWEAR TO GOD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spaghetti http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=732753#post732753)
I USED TO BE SOMEBODY! I WAS IN PICTURES! HAD A BIG HOUSE WITH A NEGRO AND EVERYTHING

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spaghetti http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=732753#post732753)
JACKSON, DAMMIT, I WANT MY JELLO! GIVE ME MY JELLO, JACKSON! GET IT FOR ME! JACKSON, YOU LOUSY JEW BASTARD, DON'T IGNORE ME OR YOU'RE FIRED


Jackson? Jackson, where's Jackson, oh God, he died, didn't he? What year is it? NO, I WON'T CALM DOWN, WHAT YEAR IS IT? OH JESUS, WHAT YEAR IS IT

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spaghetti http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=732753#post732753)
You're talent show can suck my flaccid old-man dick, I'm not going anywhere! ROCKFORD FILES TIME

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spaghetti http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=732753#post732753)
Why doesn't my son call me anymore?



PSAM :faint

[Fathom Zero]

FUCK THE FUCK OFF

[Fathom Zero]

we've gotten off on the wrong foot. i'm not normally so hateful.

[Grislygus]

Pfft. Like I wouldn't recognize Sam's old avatar. NICE TRY BRO-BOT

[k0k0]

Originally Posted by Spaghetti http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=732753#post732753)
WINONA STOLE MY COOKIES, THAT THIEVING BITCH

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spaghetti http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=732753#post732753)
My son's in the air force

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spaghetti http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=732753#post732753)
I'm sure he has a very good reason for never calling me. Military stuff, you see. Top Secret.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spaghetti http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=732753#post732753)
NO! NO! I WON'T TAKE MY MEDICINE! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! IF YOU DON'T BACK OFF I'M GOING TO SHIT MYSELF RIGHT HERE, I SWEAR TO GOD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spaghetti http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=732753#post732753)
I USED TO BE SOMEBODY! I WAS IN PICTURES! HAD A BIG HOUSE WITH A NEGRO AND EVERYTHING

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spaghetti http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=732753#post732753)
JACKSON, DAMMIT, I WANT MY JELLO! GIVE ME MY JELLO, JACKSON! GET IT FOR ME! JACKSON, YOU LOUSY JEW BASTARD, DON'T IGNORE ME OR YOU'RE FIRED


Jackson? Jackson, where's Jackson, oh God, he died, didn't he? What year is it? NO, I WON'T CALM DOWN, WHAT YEAR IS IT? OH JESUS, WHAT YEAR IS IT

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spaghetti http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=732753#post732753)
You're talent show can suck my flaccid old-man dick, I'm not going anywhere! ROCKFORD FILES TIME

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spaghetti http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=732753#post732753)
Why doesn't my son call me anymore?



PSAM :faint

Lots of spaghetti.
http://i596.photobucket.com/albums/tt42/k0k0them0nkey/LotsofSpaghetti.jpg

[executioneer]

:oneofthosedays

[Womti]

well, see this is the whole point. I never really even said any of that stuff >:

[Zhukov]

Maybe it's Fartin Mowler. I say ban, no matter who it is.

[Womti]

I'd say fired, you f**** commie!

[ThrashO]

Answer these questions Spaghetti:

What's your favorite color?

In what city was bread invented?

What are your favorite drugs?

How are street signs made?

what percentage of the rock on earth is sedimentary?

Whats your favorite penis smell?

Which guitar is Ted Nugents favorite?

What is the average number of deaths by boat propeller per year for manatees?

What is 9 x 10 x 72 +16 - 78 - 13 + 27 x 8 - 32 + 7 x 4 divided by 3 x 7 + 72?

If you can answer these questions then you truly aren't a spam fag. Just a regular fag.

[Grislygus]

well, see this is the whole point. I never really even said any of that stuff >:

WHAT? HOW COULD HE HAVE POSSIBLY UNCOVERED MY DECEPTION?!... THIS CHARACTER IS MAINTAINED BY SOME STRANGE NEW BREED OF COMPLETE FUCKING GENIUS

[executioneer]

Maybe it's Fartin Mowler. I say ban, no matter who it is.
it's womti

[Chojin]

today DDR got me a date

DDR also got me my last 2 girlfriends

th-thanks japan

[k0k0]

Answer these questions Spaghetti:

What's your favorite color?

In what city was bread invented?

What are your favorite drugs?

How are street signs made?

what percentage of the rock on earth is sedimentary?

Whats your favorite penis smell?

Which guitar is Ted Nugents favorite?

What is the average number of deaths by boat propeller per year for manatees?

What is 9 x 10 x 72 +16 - 78 - 13 + 27 x 8 - 32 + 7 x 4 divided by 3 x 7 + 72?

If you can answer these questions then you truly aren't a spam fag. Just a regular fag.

I wanna answer, and I won't even use google.

Yellow
probably somewhere in Egypt
used to be pot, but now it's xanax
carefully
I'm gonna guess 65
no idea, don't smell penis
trick question, it's a gun
70
Don't feel like doing math in my head so I'm going to go with 9
:posh

[Grislygus]

why the hell would we ban him?

[Womti]

:pagebrak


What's your favorite color? purple

In what city was bread invented? dont know, dont care

What are your favorite drugs? barbiturates

How are street signs made? in factories, duh!

what percentage of the rock on earth is sedimentary? all of it :lol

Whats your favorite penis smell? >:

Which guitar is Ted Nugents favorite? the cheap one

What is the average number of deaths by boat propeller per year for manatees? 300+

What is 9 x 10 x 72 +16 - 78 - 13 + 27 x 8 - 32 + 7 x 4 divided by 3 x 7 + 72? I dunno

[ThrashO]

:pagebrak


What's your favorite color? purple

In what city was bread invented? dont know, dont care

What are your favorite drugs? barbiturates

How are street signs made? in factories, duh!

what percentage of the rock on earth is sedimentary? all of it :lol

Whats your favorite penis smell? >:

Which guitar is Ted Nugents favorite? the cheap one

What is the average number of deaths by boat propeller per year for manatees? 300+

What is 9 x 10 x 72 +16 - 78 - 13 + 27 x 8 - 32 + 7 x 4 divided by 3 x 7 + 72? I dunno

SHITHEAD

[LordSappington]

I give this a solid meh out of ten

[Zhukov]

So I was booking flights to and from the Gold Coast for the end of the month, and paying for it all online. Everything was going swimmingly until an error occurred on the airlines website. Now I have the money deducted out of my bank account, but no confirmation by the airline. I called them up and they said it must be a bank error (right), and say that the booking was cancelled. Even though I have the transaction details and a receipt for the payment going through without a problem.

Fantastic.

[LordSappington]

GET MAD. Start yelling, threatening legal action, etc.
The louder you are, the faster everything will work out in your favor.

[ThrashO]

Businesses respond quickly to violence/swearing. For example:

"Sir we're sorry, there must be a mistake as we have no confirmation whatsoever that you've made a payment"

"CUNT. I WANNA TALK TO YOUR MANAGER WHILE YOU SUCK MY DICK."

"Sir give me one moment"

"This is Manager. How can I do."

(This is when you fart into the phone)

[Aaarg]

"This is Manager. How can I do."

[Pentegarn]

That does sound like a typical sentence you would hear from an outsourced call center

[k0k0]

I worked in a Sears call center about 6 years ago and at the time, they told us that nobody was to speak to a manager. The managers were there, could talk to people, but instead they spend their days listening to our calls to make sure we weren't being dicks. That didn't stop me though, and that's why I ended up getting fired.

A guy who let one of his items go out of warranty yelled at me for a while after it broke and we couldn't come out to fix it for free. He wanted his warranty reinstated, but can't warranty a broken item. So he asked for the manager. Can't. Eventually he took to calling me names and saying I wasn't fit to work in fast food and that I should go back to working at Mcdonalds. I asked him how he liked his washer and dryer and refrigerator, because they all had warranties that I could easily take off as part of our 'we don't service dicks' clause. He shut up and then I asked if he'd like fries with that bit of news motherfucker? Then I hung up the phone. I knew I was in trouble when I looked over and the manager was staring me down and did the whole beckon me over thing. Call center work is the worst, especially when people yell at you.

[Zhukov]

I do understand that anger gets quicker results, but I have worked in customer service, and if I ended up dealing with a person that was like me; anger would leave me high and dry, since I just used to feign confusion and ignorance. I don't like being an cunt, especially when you can be a perfectly civil and polite arsehole.

[Fathom Zero]

dxQmOR_QLfQ

Shit's so cool.

[Shrubfest]

That makes me sad. 'Mmmm a living meal! I know, lets scald it with something so it moves before I eat it! Yaaaay!'

[ThrashO]

I can only imagine the horrors those things see in japan. (vaginas, buttholes, etc...)

[k0k0]

It's actually not living when it moves. The thing is decapitated and it's head sliced into the bowl, then the body put in there to dance. The body moving is just the reaction to the sauce. It's already dead and has no feeling. After the dance party is over, the squid is given to the chef to prepare and then put onto the bowl.

[Shrubfest]

Oh. I shall rephrase.

'Mmm raw corpse for dinner! Lets scald it and make cadaver puppetry!'

Not sure which is worse.

[Fathom Zero]

Yeah, the primitive cephalapod neurons react to the sodium in the sauce and contract.

And this isn't any more or less cruel than eatin a burger to me.

[Shrubfest]

If it's dead it isn't cruel.

I just find the idea of eating prancing corpse macabre. Burgers don't dance.

[Fathom Zero]

I can make one, if I try hard enough.

[k0k0]

They do if you tie strings to them. You can attach little plastic legs to them. Maybe put them in a suit or a little burger top hat. Very fancy burger dancing!

But the squid, he's so much better than that. He's a natural dancer. He needs no strings, only salt is his payment to dance the night away.

[ThrashO]

I think it's the equivalent of hooking a headless cow corpse up to snares and making it do a jig. There is really no point in doing this except to be Japanese and really fucking weird. I'm surprised they don't put a dress on it and take pictures everytime it lifts a tentacle.

Blowfish is really the only thing that should be served that fresh, because once the chef starts chopping the little bastard up it starts releasing poison into the meat. I hear they have to train for like 7 years or some shit before they can do it in a restaurant.

[Shrubfest]

I think what it boils down to is I'm a food coward, and if I wanted my food to dance I'd buy it tap shoes.

[Aaarg]

I do understand that anger gets quicker results, but I have worked in customer service, and if I ended up dealing with a person that was like me; anger would leave me high and dry, since I just used to feign confusion and ignorance. I don't like being an cunt, especially when you can be a perfectly civil and polite arsehole.

haha, when you keep your cool with an angry customer it catches them off guard and either makes them angrier or apologetic. usually angrier.

[k0k0]

haha, when you keep your cool with an angry customer it catches them off guard and either makes them angrier or apologetic. usually angrier.

Usually angrier from my experience. At Sears we weren't allowed to hang up on customers no matter how badly they were being dicks to us and some phone calls, like the one I mentioned lasted 45 minutes or more. I was part of the Television and garage door opener repair team, trying to help people fix them over the phone to avoid sending a tech out. They'd fire us if we didn't avoid sending 10 technicians out a day per person, so having to keep someone on the phone for that long really cut into my avoids, which pissed me off even more on top of getting yelled at. So while it's easy to keep cool for 10 - 20 minutes, it gets damn near impossible when you're getting shit on for an hour.

[ThrashO]

When I was younger (17/18, and I was out on my own), I used to think "Man serving tables is GREAT. I'm young, I meet new people, and I get to hang out with people my age!" well now I'm almost 25. I don't by any means take shit from any customer anymore.

It's not a race thing, I personally think racism is HILARIOUS but I'm not racist at all, but it's just common server knowledge that ghetto people love getting shit for free and they will go any lengths to do so even if everything went great. I could keep their drinks refilled, cut their food up and pleasure them sexually and they would still give me shit. For me though, it's a money thing. These are the people who pay my bills so there satisfaction DEPENDS on how nice I am.

However, they usually don't tip anything. So I usually don't take shit from them. This is how it usually goes:

"Here you go mam"

"I said I wanted the chicken"

"Mam you asked for the Jalapeno Smokehouse Burger, You even said you wanted it well done"

"Now I KNOW what I ordered! (Getting louder, other tables looking) YOU ACTIN' LIKE IM STUPID AND I--"

*lean in real close*

"I'LL GET YOU A MANAGER"

(proceed to ignore and walk away)

It's great and usually the other tables feel bad for what I dealt with but are entertained with how much they can see that I couldn't care if a train smashed through chilis and ran their table over. For the most part if you did nothing wrong and the customer is being a prick managers tend to defend their servers.

I had one really ghetto manager who was the most UNPROFESSIONAL dude I've ever worked for. He was missing a tooth and he would walk around the restaraunt freestyling. Anyways one time I had this drunk ass dude come in who wanted to get some booze. He was stumbling around and I said "Sir I can't serve you, I'm sorry" so he goes "Now I gots money, and is a payin customer. yo little white ass better go--" and my manager comes over and says "He said he can't serve you now get the fuck out of my restaraunt."

Totally became my favorite manager instantly.

[Kitsa]

I have a voucher for two free meals and I feel guilty about it. :( Not from Chili's. Another place.

What happened was that we were at the table closest to the door to the kitchen. All was going great, everyone was being friendly, no misbehavior anywhere, when someone coming out with a giant tray full of little glass bottles of maple syrup tripped and the bottles shattered everywhere.

We were literally sprayed with glass and syrup. I was picking shards of it out of my leg later that night, and I had to move the high chair and diaper bag so they could get it out from under there. I was finding pieces of glass stuck with syrup onto my purse for a while, too.

They were really nice and asked if we were ok, which was a valid concern seeing as about 50-60 glass bottles of hot syrup shattered on a hard floor less than a foot from us. I said that we were fine. I felt bad that they had such a big mess to clean up.

Everyone had gone about their business when it occurred to me a couple of minutes later that if glass sprayed all over our bodies, it might have gotten in the food too. We didn't feel right demanding a new meal after we just watched them on their hands and knees cleaning glass and syrup off the floor, so we just stopped eating and paid our bill.

I wrote corporate and did a "suggestion" more than a "complaint"...said that in future when something like that happens, maybe they should just replace the meal to eliminate any risk of the customer being harmed by glass in food. I reiterated how nice they all were and how the glass thing was all totally an accident.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, and the manager's calling my cellphone to sincerely apologize for our displeasure. (?) Then I got a thing in the mail for two comped meals.

I wasn't really all that displeased, but I guess my mild-mannered suggestion didn't come across quite right.

Anyway, on the website to write to corporate there was a thing asking you if you felt you were mistreated due to discrimination.

[ThrashO]

:pagebrak

Was it iHop? Because I worked there too. Worst fucking job ever. And yes I remember doing a switch from glass bottles to plastic, probably because of YOU >:

My favorite thing to do at iHop was throw everything away. Just everything. Plates, dishes, cups, highchairs, ramekins, full ketchups. One time I threw an entire box of about 36 full, brand new A1's into the dumpster. Why? because FUCK THAT PLACE.

My favorite thing to hear was "Guys make sure you give your customer plastic togo containers because they have been taking our sauce dishes home in their boxes."

That's when I say "Yup I see it all the time."

[creeposaurus]

I usually treat waiters and waitresses with respect and give them generous tips despite the fact that I'm always broke or how small a meal it was or them getting my order wrong. Why? Cos I know how miserable their customers make them. I remember eating with my parents and mom's fatass bitch friend at this diner. Her kid threw a whole bunch of food on the floor and she was being a total bitch because they forgot to put butter on her pancakes or something. Anyways, on the way home all she did was bitch about how horrible the service and food was (she ordered a shitload of food and made my parents pay for it btw). I told her she should probably consider dieting because of her high standards and how nothing on earth will ever be good enough for her. Stupid cunt bitch.

[Kitsa]

nope. not ihop.

I think getting a meal replaced because it's potentially full of glass shards is a far cry from getting a meal replaced because you suddenly decided you wanted something else or suddenly decided you didn't like the taste. I'm not that kind of person.

I usually tip at least 20%, unless something is badly wrong, which is about never.

Thanks, though. You helped me make up my mind about something.

[ThrashO]

I usually treat waiters and waitresses with respect and give them generous tips despite the fact that I'm always broke or how small a meal it was or them getting my order wrong. Why? Cos I know how miserable their customers make them. I remember eating with my parents and mom's fatass bitch friend at this diner. Her kid threw a whole bunch of food on the floor and she was being a total bitch because they forgot to put butter on her pancakes or something. Anyways, on the way home all she did was bitch about how horrible the service and food was (she ordered a shitload of food and made my parents pay for it btw). I told her she should probably consider dieting because of her high standards and how nothing on earth will ever be good enough for her. Stupid cunt bitch.

Haha, yes I've seen bitches like that, who honestly think that no matter how busy we are or how hard we're trying to make everyone happy that their side of ranch is the most important thing in the world and we should be backflipping into the kitchen as fast as we can to get it because they're going to leave three crinkled ones in the middle of there filthy mess..

And for everyones information:

IF YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE WE WILL FUCK WITH YOUR FOOD.

There are customers who complain for REAL reasons and I sympathize, and then there are customers who try to get things for free, are complete rude assholes and try to waste your time.

However, there are servers who don't care and are asswipe douchebags. For the most part though we are nice, we understand your problems and we'll help you out as much as we can and if we forget something it's usually because we're busy and we honestly forgot.

[Chojin]

i assumed as much. it's a personal rule of mine to never fuck with people who are giving me things i'm going to eat.

[k0k0]

I'm awesome as a customer, I always tip 5 bucks or more, but I do always steal any extra silverware put on the table and if there's a ramekin anywhere on the table, it's gonna be wiped out and pocketed. Usually I'll walk out drinking out of the glass from the table too. They never seem to notice. But I tip decently and am polite enough, so they shouldn't mind that too much.

[ThrashO]

I'm awesome as a customer, I always tip 5 bucks or more, but I do always steal any extra silverware put on the table and if there's a ramekin anywhere on the table, it's gonna be wiped out and pocketed. Usually I'll walk out drinking out of the glass from the table too. They never seem to notice. But I tip decently and am polite enough, so they shouldn't mind that too much.

Steal everything dude, a server doesn't give a SHIT. If you leave a 20-25% tip and give them a heads up you can bomb the fucking place.

"How much are these margarita glasses they're so pretty!"

"free."

[Kitsa]

I don't understand why they do glass bottles in the first place. I don't know if plastic fucks with the taste of maple syrup or what, but it seems like having tons of hot little glass bottles to wrangle is just asking for trouble.

[creeposaurus]

Glass doesn't effect taste and is better for storing things than plastic

[Guitar Woman]

Fuck eating at restaurants.

I never understood the appeal of paying 30 dollars to wait around looking at fat people for half an hour until your asshole waiter brings you a bunch of shitty, overseasoned food that's had his pecker in it.

And I never, ever will.

[Fathom Zero]

I realized I stopped eating places that had wait staff a long time ago. Ring the bell and I'll come and get it - I've got legs, goddamn it. Fuck Olive Garden, too. Place sucks a dick. Every time I go they've got a different shitty menu.

There's a correlation between being able to see the person making your food and how good the food is, to me.

[Aaarg]

There's a correlation between being able to see the person making your food and how good the food is, to me.

teppanyaki F YEa

[Fathom Zero]

There should be more Pepper Lunch locations in the US.

[Fathom Zero]

Nevermind, that's a terrible idea. But teppanyaki is awesome, yessss.

[Pentegarn]

There's a correlation between being able to see the person making your food and how good the food is, to me.

I think this has led to me loving Japanese steakhouses so much

[Kitsa]

I love Japanese steakhouses in theory, but in execution I hate them. This is primarily because

1) I always have some loud caucasian waitress who doesn't know wtf she's talking about telling me I'm eating my edamame wrong, and

2) It's practically guaranteed violent diarrhea.


One that I used to go to in Indiana turned out to be a cover business for a prostitution ring. The whores were the waitresses.

[Pentegarn]

Might want to pick a better Japanese steakhouse

[Fathom Zero]

What is the name of the aforementioned steakhouse? For my files.

[MattJack]

Panda Express

[k0k0]

Not to be racist, but if I go into a Japanese steakhouse and see white people serving food or doing anything but eating there, I will walk the fuck out. I pay 40 dollars a plate at one of the places I used to go and I actually never saw any white people in there, so it must have been a good place. I enjoyed it at least.

[MattJack]

you go to a japanese steakhouse to watch a Vietnamese dude flip a shrimp into your mouth while speaking in broken English.

or is that a Benni Hanna?

[k0k0]

No, that's my Japanese steakhouse. I don't care if they are Korean, Vietnamese, Chinese, or Japanese as long as they're asian and flipping shrimp straight into my mouth.

[Kitsa]

All the Japanese steakhouse chefs I've seen recently are Latinos.

[MattJack]

Rarely you'll find Japanese people in Japanese restos. At least in the souf

[Fathom Zero]

Everyone at the steakhouse in my hometown was Korean, except for my lanky white friend who ended up becoming the head chef.

[Chojin]

we have tons of koreans here in maryland

they have their own little korean shopping centers

it's adorable

[k0k0]

There are a lot of koreans at the flea market I go to. They sell the knockoff toys that I'm so fond of, although fuck it if I'm gonna pay 7 bucks for an Animism Defender. And they never want to haggle.

[Kitsa]

either way, anyone lecturing me on how to eat edamame can fuck right the fuck off.

[creeposaurus]

I rather enjoy food that's had someone's pecker in it

[Esuohlim]

So are we keeping womti around this time or what

[Fathom Zero]

I thought we should kill Pram Maven, but nobody gave a fuck, so I guess we have a precedent of keeping the mentally retarded stalkers?

[executioneer]

let's save them up until we have enough for a decent r-tard hunt

[Chojin]

i really can't tell the difference between the two

[LordSappington]

Well, cut my fingers open at work today. Was cleaning a grease trap in the sink, it slipped, and when I caught it, it cut open the palm side of my left ring and middle fingers, at the first joint. Luckily, I only got three stitches on my middle finger.
Actually, cutting them open didn't hurt too much. It bled a lot, and I could see the muscle. The lidocaine burned like SHIT, though.
Now I can't really play computer games. :(

[ThrashO]

Well, cut my fingers open at work today. Was cleaning a grease trap in the sink, it slipped, and when I caught it, it cut open the palm side of my left ring and middle fingers, at the first joint. Luckily, I only got three stitches on my middle finger.
Actually, cutting them open didn't hurt too much. It bled a lot, and I could see the muscle. The lidocaine burned like SHIT, though.
Now I can't really play computer games. :(

I did the same thing with a hatchet and beer bottle. Long story. Bear tried to take them from me.

Anyways I couldn't play guitar for nearly 3 months :(

[ItalianStereotype]

thrash, why do you get so worked up about being a server?

[ThrashO]

BECAUSE I BRING EM FOOD AND THEY EAT IT AND THEN THEY LEAVRE A MESS AND I HATE EM I WANT THEM TO ALLLL DIE. KILL. DIE. KILL. DIE. >:

bUT FOR rEAL IT isnT THAT bAaad, we waS JUST taL;kING ABOUT customER SERVice AND PopelE WHO ARE DICkS.

[executioneer]

GET A DIFF. JOB

[ThrashO]

I been thinkin about slangin' yayo.

[LordSappington]

MY FINGERS ITCH

[executioneer]

I been thinkin about slangin' yayo.
man you think the customers are dicks to you NOW

[creeposaurus]

Now I want to know where you work just to drive you over the edge.

CUT MY FOOD FOR ME WAITERMAN. NOW CHEW FOR ME. SORRY ABOUT ALL THE MESS WAITER, I HAVE LOOSE BOWELS. OH MAN I ONLY HAD ENOUGH FOR THE MEEEEEEEEAL!

[Fathom Zero]

It's like my music world came full circle today.

[creeposaurus]

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a23/creeposaurus/95450__87724_zoom.jpg

[Kitsa]

I might meet Magic Johnson tomorrow guys what should I do.

[executioneer]

steal his shoes

[Kitsa]

wait let me get a pen

[Aaarg]

sell him his own shoes!

[Esuohlim]

Be all like "I am HIV positive that I recognize you from somewhere" he'll love that one

[Chojin]

cut him with something and then sound the lunk alarm

http://www.bestfunnyblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/funny-planet-fitness-gym-picture-lunk-alarm-stupid-shit.jpg

[k0k0]

Be all like "I am HIV positive that I recognize you from somewhere" he'll love that one

Especially if you're wearing a Michael Jordan mask.

[Colonel Flagg]

State the following, as a question:

Kareem or Kobe?

[Shyandquietguy]

Whelp, I survived the first round of lay offs that literally took everyone by surprise.

And considering I've always had anxiety when things were nearing a condition for lay offs, and even when they were far from it, I feel strangely satisfied, shocked, remorseful and resentful.

The fellow they took from our team wasn't exactly low seniority, but his quality I've always had a little question about. He would always end up finishing first and would end up coming to my side to look for stuff to do. He seemed thorough as well.

Maybe I should abandon the whole regiment of caution and actually smoke some weed, god damn I'm tired of feeling basically the same thing every day.

[ThrashO]

who

[LordSappington]

I'm getting little to no lulz on the readings.

[ThrashO]

I miss kahljorn and his all caps noob-style posts :(

Can I turn in all my pickles for a get out of jail free card for him? :(

[Kitsa]

Yesterday I thought I forgot my parents' anniversary and I apologized. My mother said "Oh well, you had a lot on your plate".

Then I remembered that a) it was last month, not this month and b) I got them flowers, champagne and a gift card for dinner.

I don't know whether she honestly forgot that I gave them anything or if she was seizing the opportunity to guilt me like any good mom would. :lol

[Aaarg]

sounds like she forgot it wasn't her anniversary again!

she's sitting there nervous hoping her husband doesn't make a comment. "maybe he forgot, too," she thinks to herself.

then she's lying in bed, about to go to sleep, "what the fuck, that was last month!"

[Kitsa]

Welp, Magic Johnson was there but he was up in a skybox or something and I didn't see him.

If they're not hockey players, I am horrible at recognizing sports figures. I know there were big-time baseball guys there, but I couldn't tell them from everyone else because of all of the souvenir jerseys people were playing. One player was walking around shooting everyone with a super soaker. There were multiple huge guys there who looked like basketball players, with big throngs of people around them, but I had no idea who they were.

It was so crazy fucking hot that we all had sweat rolling off of us. I spilled ice water down the front of my shirt. There was like a nanosecond of "agh! cold!" and then I found I was perfectly okay with it. It had all evaporated in under five minutes.

We got free shitty pizza, which no one wanted to eat in 100+ degree weather, and free drinks. Some kid stuck her hand in mine.

We went in the team shop because it was air conditioned, I saw they had kids' souvenir jerseys marked at $110-$120, and I said fuck that and we left.

[Kitsa]

Is it wrong to be a little sad that Amy Winehouse died? :(

[k0k0]

I didn't know she died. I don't follow pop culture or anything. But it's not wrong to be sad, even though it was very expected.

[Fathom Zero]

I feel indifferent.

[k0k0]

Oh I honestly don't care. She was a hot mess from what I hear. Hopefully she doesn't turn into a ghost because I'd feel bad for anyone who gets haunted by that thing.

[Tadao]

I like her music and would put my dick in her, even more so now that she's dead.

[creeposaurus]

Only 27, poor girl.

[Pentegarn]

Not too shocked though, she had a song where she basically said 'fuck rehab', that sort of attitude will only get you dead from an overdose.

[Pentegarn]

Oh I honestly don't care. She was a hot mess from what I hear. Hopefully she doesn't turn into a ghost because I'd feel bad for anyone who gets haunted by that thing.

I heard they tried to make her haunt the rehab and she said "no no no"

[Shrubfest]

I'm pretty happy actually. She was a role model for youth. Good way to get the anti drug message across considering the flagrant disregard for laws and rehab. Also stops the whole business whilst people can still romanticise her as 'tragic'.

[Chojin]

I miss kahljorn and his all caps noob-style posts :(

Can I turn in all my pickles for a get out of jail free card for him? :(

i was actually thinking about talking with rog about ending his ban and then today he starts up again

this was not even close to the first time i've moved posts to the chat thread after people have deliberately (or accidentally) ruined other threads. he's got some sort of vendetta with me, and specifically with me helping people. perhaps because he feels undesirable and beyond help himself? 9 out of 10 armchair psychologists agree! oh god i shouldn't have provoked him here come more accounts with names at my expense lawdy lawdy

anyway since he had to go ahead and break pretty much all of our banning rules to make his hirsute point, now i rly can't unban him even if i wanted to, for the same reason we couldn't unban jixby years ago

it's worth mentioning that if the boards were mine all mine and we were 100% about being funny on the internet, i wouldn't have banned him in the first place. i think he's a funny guy, if a little angsty.

[Kitsa]

Didn't she actually bump cocaine off a knuckle whilst performing? She took it out of her beehive in a hollow bullet or something like that.

[Tadao]

I'm pretty happy actually. She was a role model for youth. Good way to get the anti drug message across considering the flagrant disregard for laws and rehab. Also stops the whole business whilst people can still romanticise her as 'tragic'.

So, you get married and turn 80yo in less than a year. :(

Also it would appear that the herpes I contracted from her has gone to limited edition.

[Grislygus]

Wait, what, it's a PERMANENT ban?! whaaaaaaaaat

what

what, shit


i was going to make a joke about the Willie cult being FOILED BY PARANORMAL INVESTIGATORS but this is a bad day now, I thought it was a timed ban that his dumb ass kept extending. Maybe he thought the same???

[Tadao]

Gus, have some respect you faggot. We are talking about a surprisingly dead heroin addict who everyone loved to hate.

[Grislygus]

Fuck THAT, I don't even know what the hell songs she did, why would i care

the only reason people like me know who she is is due to people cracking jokes about her being a boozy celebrislut as if she's the only one in existence

[Grislygus]

even my real life friends are SHOCKED I don't magically know who she is now that she's suddenly dead

[Tadao]

http://images.smh.com.au/2011/07/23/2511466/art_Behring-Breivik-200x0.jpg
:Page Breivik

[Tadao]

:(

[Kitsa]

If kahl were permabanned, I would miss him :(

[Fathom Zero]

I have to agree with Kahl on that one, actually.

I've made a number of srs business topics that have funny things posted in them, but it never detracted from said srs business.

[k0k0]

I really did think you should be unbanned, but you're really digging yourself down there pretty deep coming in with multiple accounts.

[Tadao]

THISISHOWWEDOIT

[Chojin]

YOURE BANNED FOR POSRTING CHEESEBURGERS IN THIS THREAD

BY THE WAY IF IT WERE UP TO ME YOU WOULDNT BE BANNED

:lol

if you recall correctly, i didn't move anything until you were up to about 9 off-topic posts in the thread

and then i moved everyone's posts, not just yours

i just ate a 1/2 pound double cheeseburger from wendy's btw. feels good man.

i didn't say if it was up to me you wouldn't be banned. i said if this was a different forum which allowed that kind of shit i wouldn't have banned you.

:dealwithit


I have to agree with Kahl on that one, actually.

I've made a number of srs business topics that have funny things posted in them, but it never detracted from said srs business.

there were about 25 posts derailing the thread (in a thread with less than 50 on-topic posts), about half of which were intentional efforts from kahl because he thought it would be funny (being generous here). that's fine; i just moved them. he continued to do it. i gave him infractions each time. after 3 infractions, you get banned for 1 day. if you circumvent a ban, you're supposed to get a lifetime ban. i gave him a 1 week ban instead every time he came back. after about 5 extensions, it just got easier to put it on permanent like i was supposed to to begin with.

yeah, i'm an unreasonable monster with a vendetta against trannies.

[Fathom Zero]

Hey, Big Boss Man, I only thought that one bit was funny. The multiple accounts are dee-you-emm-bee.

VANDETTA

VANDETTA

[ThrashO]

GATTACA MAN!!! GATTACA!!!

[ItalianStereotype]

kay

[ItalianStereotype]

man, why don't you just wait a week or something and just appeal the ban. fat threads and cheeseburgers aren't super important.

[King Hadas]

khaljorn is too good to be brought low by something as pedestrian as a "banning".

And as for Amy Winehouse, to bad she's dead I thought she was pretty cool.

[Chojin]

First off, you banned me at about 12 posts.

yes, this is exactly what i said happened. 25 posts were moved, about half of which were yours (12.5).

Secondly, you deleted most of them

no i didn't

Thirdly, i dont think you moved most of my posts anyway

yes i did; they're in this thread if either you or i cared to look, which neither of us does

[Grislygus]

man, why don't you just wait a week or something and just appeal the ban. fat threads and cheeseburgers aren't super important.

this. except wait the monthlong ban time out of consideration before appealing.

seriously, just quit spazzing. The only reason you're banned is because you insist on making ONE MOD move your posts every three seconds, and keep coming before the ban runs out with the express purpose of being a pain in the ass and making him do more pointless modwork. Wait out the original month and then appeal and promise not to be a pain in the ass and leave the damn fitness thread alone

[Tadao]

STOP RABBLEROUSING!

[Grislygus]

and I know we're talking a perma-ban here, but honestly this isn't on the level of Rongi going off the deep end of the asshole pool, this isn't noob3 and jixby specifically AGREEING to a direct (and unfortunate) ban possibility though participation that we set up to fuck over flaky new people; this is a first time, and presumably one time only, random queen-level hissy fit from poster that we definitely want around. I mean hell, I hate forums. I think they're retarded. I've been posting here for 5 years because the other people who post here make me crack up all the time. Khaljorn's one of the guys, and it would be terrible if he was gone FOREVER AND EVER. Obviously he broke the rules twelve times over and (more importantly) is just causing pointless busywork, but other than the absolute neverbreak NSFW rule we do NOT seem to be []primarily[/i]rules-driven as long as a poster isn't being annoying, and it would be nice if khaljorn could be unbanned once he calms the hell down. Just wouldn't be the same without him.

[Grislygus]

also screw you kahl for making me get involved in A SRS BUSINESS CONVERSATION ON THE INTERNET, SERIOUSLY AND FOR SERIOUS. YOU JUST MEAN THAT MUCH TO ME

[Fathom Zero]

what are we even doing

xXbdzZRO2dE

[Grislygus]

what is the sound of one hand clapping

[Chojin]

like i said, i really don't have a problem with the guy, even though he seems to have one with me. it wasn't my intention to keep him banned forever; it's just easier than adding a week every time he circumvents a ban, which is pretty much every day. when he's had enough of a time out, i'll talk to rog about it and get him unbanned because he's been here forever and usually contributes.

[ThrashO]

and I know we're talking a perma-ban here, but honestly this isn't on the level of Rongi going off the deep end of the asshole pool, this isn't noob3 and jixby specifically AGREEING to a direct (and unfortunate) ban possibility though participation that we set up to fuck over flaky new people; this is a first time, and presumably one time only, random queen-level hissy fit from poster that we definitely want around. I mean hell, I hate forums. I think they're retarded. I've been posting here for 5 years because the other people who post here make me crack up all the time. Khaljorn's one of the guys, and it would be terrible if he was gone FOREVER AND EVER. Obviously he broke the rules twelve times over and (more importantly) is just causing pointless busywork, but other than the absolute neverbreak NSFW rule we do NOT seem to be []primarily[/i]rules-driven as long as a poster isn't being annoying, and it would be nice if khaljorn could be unbanned once he calms the hell down. Just wouldn't be the same without him.

i posted that, gus stole it fom me

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

FREE KAHL.

[k0k0]

I read all of 10k's posts in the voice of Jon Benjamin.

[Esuohlim]

I agree with Gus. I've been avoiding deleting/moving kahl's posts not only because it seems like a situation for Chojin to personally handle, but also because I really do still want him around.

This place has totally always been about bending the rules for regulars. I'm not going to pretend that it isn't, because this place would totally suck if we didn't do exactly that all the time. All the best posters around here break the rules all the time because the rest know that their presence on the forums is completely worth it. Homophobic remarks, thread derailments, hounding members, worthless replies, I'm guilty of all that shit on a weekly basis. So are all my favorite people here.

THE POINT I GUESS is that kahl's worth keeping around once this shit stops :( I still wish Rongi and Jixby would come back, but they can't possibly be interested in this place anymore

[Tadao]

I AGREE

[Tadao]

http://images.smh.com.au/2011/07/23/2511466/art_Behring-Breivik-200x0.jpg

[Tadao]

ASKING KAHL NOT TO RABBLEROUSE HE SAID A NO NO NO

[Sam]

I ASKED JIXBY TO COME BACK TO IMOCKERY AND HE SAID A NO NO NO

[k0k0]

THOUGHT ABOUT JOINING THIS BANDWAGON AND I SAID NO NO NO

damnit

[Esuohlim]

k0k0 if you derail the thread like that again you'll be permanently banned. We play by the rules here

[k0k0]

http://samuelhcohen.com/icm505/ashley/cms/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/cheeseburgerman.jpg

[executioneer]

CHEESEBURGER, BANNED

[Kitsa]

I was going to make the pickles on top red but I'm so tired I can't see my photoshop menu right so I sort of made them orange and then purple and then said fuck it.

[Phoenix Gamma]

Just got back from Florida after a 4 hour delay. Fuck JetBlue.

Final verdict:
Epcot is awesome...if you're five. Otherwise, it's boring, and actually really outdated. It's really fun for food, though; you can take a bus from one of the other parks to Epcot then eat at a different country every night. But aside from food, Epcot really, really sucks.

Hollywood Studios (formerly MGM) is probably the best park. The animation studio is fun for cartoonists like me to ooh and aaah at (lots of production art from older movies), and the rides are just plain better (Aerosmith's ride is still my favorite. Went on it 4 times this week). The new Star Tours ride is really great if you remember the original (there's a funny scene where the old pilot steps out and C3P0 accidentally becomes the new pilot). It's a way cooler ride.

Universal Studios is like Disney, but none of the employees are happy. Or good at faking happy. The X-Men were riding around on mopeds and they weren't even hamming it up. Meanwhile, the Magic Kingdom has an opening ceremony every day at 9AM that ends with fireworks. Universal's really just a bunch of dicks. Though the Simpsons and Harry Potter rides were really good.

There was a beauty pageant going on at my hotel. I was talking to one of the contestants. She was really pretty. And taller than me even though I'm 6'. Then I realized it was a TEEN pageant and went back to my room :(

OH AND NO ONE IN FLORIDA SAYS "EXCUSE ME". FUCKING PEOPLE BUMPING INTO ME AND SHIT AND DON'T SAY A DAMN THING. FUCK. >: >: >:

ALSO GODDAMN THAT'S A BIG CHEESEBURGER. LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS.

[Kitsa]

I would happily take your Epcot vacation and have a blast reliving my childhood.


I-MAAAAAAAAAAA-gin-a-tion, I-MAAAAAAAA-gin-a-tion.

:figment

[Kitsa]

Who wants a free ham?

Omaha Steaks has a deal today where you get a free ham and free shipping. Go to this link:

linky linky link link (http://www.omahasteaks.com/servlet/OnlineShopping?Dsp=268&AID=105790&ITMSUF=CHA&SRC=KT1199&IID=2276)

Add one beef stick to your cart ($2).

Free shipping, free ham, one beef stick, two bucks.

You're welcome.

We don't eat ham, so I'm going to use mine to make friends.

[Fathom Zero]

:O Thanks! I just passed it along to my mum whom promptly ordered. :D

[Pentegarn]

http://samuelhcohen.com/icm505/ashley/cms/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/cheeseburgerman.jpg

I saw Man Vs. Food try to eat that burger.

Food won that time

[ThrashO]

Well look those pickles are about as much food as a regular cheeseburger!

[Fathom Zero]

s-nHxtsP6Zk

[MarioRPG]

I think it's very curteous of them to provide an entire roll of paper towels with that burger.

[k0k0]

I don't think it's smart to wear a white shirt when planning on engorging yourself in a burger that big.

[Esuohlim]

Magic Johnson let himself go :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

That burger looks so good. Is that Biz Markee?

[Chojin]

Who wants a free ham?

Omaha Steaks has a deal today where you get a free ham and free shipping. Go to this link:

linky linky link link (http://www.omahasteaks.com/servlet/OnlineShopping?Dsp=268&AID=105790&ITMSUF=CHA&SRC=KT1199&IID=2276)

Add one beef stick to your cart ($2).

Free shipping, free ham, one beef stick, two bucks.

You're welcome.

We don't eat ham, so I'm going to use mine to make friends.

ty kitsa <3<3<3<3

[Tadao]

The link has said that it's no longer available all morning for me, then Eric says thank you? WTF FREE HAM PEOPLE

[Fathom Zero]

lol it's not there anymore

[Guitar Woman]

I'd do that if it were the other way around, i.e. free beef with your ham

Then I'd throw the ham away

[Esuohlim]

I wanna meet that ham

[Fathom Zero]

have dates with ham

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

http://www.fabulouslybroke.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Twin-Towers-Sunrise-9-11.jpg

I read all of 10k's posts in the voice of Jon Benjamin.

We both have very robotic monotone voices.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

edit: Hey Dude.

[Tadao]

http://i799.photobucket.com/albums/yy271/kitsa_for_imockery2/pagebrak4eva.jpg

[Tadao]

I KNOW I'LL GET IN TROUBLE BUT SOMEONE HAS TO RABBLEROUSE

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c375/Locke9999/pagebrak4eva.jpg

[k0k0]

Is that a ginger beard or pretty lips?

[Fathom Zero]

pretty lips :3

[Kitsa]

For those of you who managed to obtain ham before Omaha Steaks realized what people were doing, glad it worked.

[k0k0]

I appreciate it. I tried, but was sadly too late. Next time free ham, next time.

[Grislygus]

EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU BASTARDS BETTER CUT IT WITH THE DYLANS NIPPLES HORRORFEST NOW THAT I HAVE A TACTICAL DETERRENT


DEFINE "MUTUALLY ASSURED DESTRUCTION"

[Fathom Zero]

let's see your legs again, pretty boy

[Grislygus]

THAT IS THE TACTICAL DETERRENT.

ONCE AGAIN, DEFINE "MUTUALLY ASSURED DESTRUCTION"

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

LEG OFF TIME

[Fathom Zero]

YOU'RE ARGUMENT IS FLAWED

FOR IT'S QUITE PRESUMPTUOUS OF YOU

TO THINK THAT THAT IS SOMETHING WE DON'T WANT TO SEE

[MarioRPG]

YEAH SPEAK FOR YOURSELF JERKS.

[creeposaurus]

I STILL WANT HAM

[Kitsa]

If I had my way you'd have it. :(

They probably fired someone over that today, after they lost millions of dollars in ham and shipping.

[Fathom Zero]

Yup. It's a bummer, but it'd have been just as easy to have people spend a mandatory $25 or something before you get the ham.

[Kitsa]

Although the mental image of a little bar graph in a meeting room makes me giggle. Everyone was summoned immediately to explain why beef stick sales were suddenly through the roof

[Chojin]

Although the mental image of a little bar graph in a meeting room makes me giggle. Everyone was summoned immediately to explain why beef stick sales were suddenly through the roof

GENTLEMEN, I IMAGINE YOU'RE WONDERING WHY I CALLED THIS MEETING. HOW CAN WE MAKE MORE STICKS.

[Colonel Flagg]

For those of you who managed to obtain ham before Omaha Steaks realized what people were doing, glad it worked.

Next time, Kit, next time.

I will also weigh in on a vote for unbanning Mr. Jorn. If we're voting that is. Time of suspension to be determined.

[Aaarg]

free calgon!

(free ham!)

[Kitsa]

HAM ORDER CANCELLED! :(


Dear (Kitsa),

Thank you for shopping with Omaha Steaks. We appreciate your
interest in our company.

It has come to our attention that an individual posted one of our
mailer offers online but did not include the appropriate terms and
conditions that were published with the original offer.
Unfortunately, orders received as a result of this posting that did
not meet the terms and conditions of the offer cannot be honored. As
stated in the terms and conditions of this mailer, the free shipping
and handling plus the free ham only applies to orders that include a
main selection from the mailed offer. In reviewing your order, it
appears a main selection was not included. We regret to inform you
that your order has been cancelled.

If you would like to place an order that includes a main selection
from the mailer, please contact us at 1-800-228-9055.

Thank you for your cooperation in this matter and we apologize for
any inconvenience.

Sincerely,

Jamie Toledo
Consumer Services Manager
Omaha Steaks



Well, that sucks :( I got the info from a sister-in-law, who got her info from a coupon-clipping site, so that must be where the trouble originated :(

I'm sorry, guys.

I'd be all mad and boycott omaha steaks now but I can't afford any of their stuff anyway.

[k0k0]

Well that smells like a false advertising lawsuit from a bunch of coupon cutters.

[Kitsa]

If it's any consolation, we got Omaha steaks as a gift once and they weren't anything special.

[Tadao]

http://images.smh.com.au/2011/07/23/2511466/art_Behring-Breivik-200x0.jpg