I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Sethomas]

Talking about driving up a 90° angle is pretty hardcore, but if you absolutely have to undertake a totally badass act of genius where you drive 120 mph then do it in such a way that leads to mid-air rotation so you land upside-down in a convertible with the top down.

Or so I hear that such is pretty hardcore.

I think somebody mentioned that car/slope thing a long time ago, but only now did that spring to mind.

It reminded me that when I was at King's Island many years ago with MY BESTEST BUDDY DENISE we were in line for one of those rides that's just a guided/cushioned free fall when you sit in a round structure around a tower.

Anyways, there was a sign that indicated "100% SLOPE" as if it were one of those roadside signs you see in the mountains. I pointed out that a 100% slope by the convention they were using was actually only a 45° angle, not the 90° that they wished to imply. DENISE and I got into an argument over whether or not I was right (which I am), and I had to explain that the trigonometric procedures they use to come up with that number would be impossible to apply meaningfully to a free fall because you'd have to divide by zero pretty early in the game.

Looking back, I wondered, "huh, I guess they didn't have any engineers involved in the construction of this ride", and then I was horrified.

[executioneer]

hnahahaha

[Grislygus]

:lol

[Sethomas]

Trying to get back in touch with a lass with whom I'd shared fairly positive exchanges, I found myself at her wikipedia page wondering how I should edit it in such a way as to provide contact info I couldn't otherwise bestow because her account was deleted (and no, I was not blocked and I HAVE WAYS OF KNOWING THIS while ironically not knowing any real better way of contacting her).

Then I just asked myself, "really, Seth? REALLY?" and I gave up on her in a very sad moment.

[Sethomas]

I mention that episode because it seemed like a good idea in ages past when Pub outed himself about stealthy internet tactics.

[Asila]

I know this doesn't follow the thread of the current conversation, but I've basically got the house for the rest of the weekend and wouldn't you know, an empty house is A FREAKING EMPTY HOUSE ARRRGH THE SILENCE.

[Esuohlim]

You don't have to follow the current conversation the secret of this thread is changing the subject so that the focus is now on yourself :shhh

[Esuohlim]

[/spoils]
..

[Esuohlim]

Also to be a jerk and post constantly let's not forget our roots :(

[Asila]

I can handle that but people aren't talking like they were last night and it's no fun drinking alone :(

[Sethomas]

Hey asila I can help un-empty your house and maybe get rid of the silence too but that depends on how loud you are in the sack

[Asila]

:( :( :(

[Asila]

Hey asila I can help un-empty your house and maybe get rid of the silence too but that depends on how loud you are in the sack


I scream when it's appropriate but I'm willing to test that out because I haven't used it in a while

[Sethomas]

As much as I want a repeat of last night's wonders, I can't handle it right now because two hours of sleep last night wasn't enough to fuel my normal ebullience for Senior Citizen's Day at Goodwill.

And although I don't work the GW until 17:00, the geology department likes it when I come in during my available hours and I don't want to explain YET AGAIN that I had to sleep all day because there was a really great conversation going on online at 4:30 AM.

[Sethomas]

i know a way you can test it out how about you test it out with MY DICK

[Pub Lover]

I mention that episode because it seemed like a good idea in ages past when Pub outed himself about stealthy internet tactics.

I find it is surprisingly difficult to forget other people's passwords, yet have a terrible time recalling my own.

[Sethomas]

Speaking of pithy word smithing ending with "MY DICK", I really wonder what this thread would be like with Jixby.

[Asila]

Waitwaitwait, you're in the geology department too? Because christ Seth, I was going to ask for your help in french as it was, and you're in geology too, and... I'm not very good at making my words make sense tonight.

[Pub Lover]

I mention that episode because it seemed like a good idea in ages past when Pub outed himself about stealthy internet tactics.

I find a simple combination of being attentive & having google already open much more useful than any supposed stealth tactics I may've ever claimed.

& by already open I mean 'Ctrl+C Ctrl+T G Ctrl+V' in Opera.

[Asila]

i know a way you can test it out how about you test it out with MY DICK


I'd agree but I kind of think you're just phoning it in tonight

[Pub Lover]

Speaking of pithy word smithing ending with "MY DICK", I really wonder what this thread would be like with Jixby.

More Gadzooks.

More 'Maybe Pub Could Shut UP'

More Pub saying :(

[Pub Lover]

You don't have to follow the current conversation the secret of this thread is changing the subject so that the focus is now on yourself :shhh

[PICTURE OF ME - THE CAPTION READS: SERIOUS HOMO PROBLEM S ...? :'(]

[Pub Lover]

Also to be a jerk and post constantly let's not forget our roots :(

Whenever I mention Seth I try & make it seem as if I'm being nice while saying something bad about him. Last night I noticed he does the same thing about me. >:


Not cool. :)

[Pub Lover]

You're all too hung over from yesterday! >:

[Asila]

I'm not hungover, I'm lonely.

[Pub Lover]

http://www.tvguide.com/images/pgimg/house59.jpg

[Asila]

Though only god knows why I'm telling you :rolleyes

[Pub Lover]

I'm not hungover, I'm lonely.

I'M DRUNK

[Pub Lover]

Though only god knows why I'm telling you :rolleyes

FUCK YOU TOO, LADY! >:

[executioneer]

is that red forman

[Asila]

Kurtwood Smith, yeah

[Pub Lover]

Yes it is. I wanted one from Robocop, but I settled for House MD.

It was that or one of the billions of cartoons he voices.

[Asila]

I'M DRUNK

ME TOO AND FUCK YOU BACK FOR TAKING EVERYTHING I SAY IN THE WRONG WAY

[Pub Lover]

I have a PM again. Should I check it? It's rarely worth the effort.

[Pub Lover]

ME TOO AND FUCK YOU BACK FOR TAKING EVERYTHING I SAY IN THE WRONG WAY

Where is Esuohlim with the telling you of what is a joke?

Oh yeah, he doesn't get when I'm joking either.


Good times.

[executioneer]

I'D CHECK IF I WERE YOU

[Esuohlim]

Oh yeah, he doesn't get when I'm joking either.

HOW MUCH DOES A POLAR BEAR WEIGH

[Asila]

Isn't it fun?

Wait, mine wasn't an obvious joke either? You know, at some point the internet irony just folds on itself and refuses to make sense.

[Sethomas]

Hey, hey guys: would it be too late for me to say, "For me to claim 'I'm hungover' would be two syllables too many"?

[Asila]

HOW MUCH DOES A POLAR BEAR WEIGH

I HAD A MONTY PYTHON JOKE LINED UP BUT EVEN I KNOW WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

[Asila]

And Seth: Never.


Christ, I think I'm turning into the female Pub.

[Pub Lover]

I have a PM again. Should I check it? It's rarely worth the effort.

IT WAS SO AWESOME AND WORTH IT! IMMA GOIN TO ALWAYS CHECK MY PMs INCASE IT IS EVER THAT AWESOME AGAIN!

[Pub Lover]

I'D CHECK IF I WERE YOU

IT WAS GREAT! YOU ARE GREAT!:)

[Pub Lover]

Isn't it fun?

Wait, mine wasn't an obvious joke either? You know, at some point the internet irony just folds on itself and refuses to make sense.
A couple of years ago I had a system in here where I worked out how many turns through Irony we had gone. I was on 23 & this other guy was only on 15 & that was why neither of us appriciated the other.

[Sethomas]

When I'm at work at G-Dubs on Wednesdays, I often think of clever ways to answer the question, "How old do you have to be to get the senior discount?" for whenever I want to get fired.

The first one to come to mind was actually the honest truth, which is, "I'll give it to anyone who asks, but I'll roll my eyes in situationally ironic social condescension if I think you look younger than 55."

I think a better one would be "well, when I give the senior discount to people I just ask myself if i'd need to be blindfolded while fucking them or if a brown bag over their face would suffice."

[Pub Lover]

Hey, hey guys: would it be too late for me to say, "For me to claim 'I'm hungover' would be two syllables too many"?
:wank

[Pub Lover]

I HAD A MONTY PYTHON JOKE LINED UP BUT EVEN I KNOW WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

1985? Cool.

[executioneer]

I HAD A MONTY PYTHON JOKE LINED UP BUT EVEN I KNOW WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
I DON'T

WHAT'S BROWN AND SOUNDS LIKE A BELL

DUNGGGG

[Pub Lover]

Christ, I think I'm turning into the female Pub.

Logical fallacy.

[Asila]

1985? Cool.

I was 4 so it just proves how easily amused I am.

I DON'T

WHAT'S BROWN AND SOUNDS LIKE A BELL

DUNGGGG

*giggles* BUT NO ONE ELSE GETS THE GIGGLES DRUNK OR NOT

[Pub Lover]

http://www.digitalmilitia.com/images/expand_dead-inside.gif

[Sethomas]

Logical fallacy.

Quoted for being of high quality that I appreciate.

[Sethomas]

Guys, I am going to link you to a YouTube upload the the video for a shitty Eve 6 song and I would like for you to draw moment-by-moment parallels in it to last night's quality time together. Okay?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_wHlg_AL0c

[Asila]

Without watching the whole video, I'd like to say that I'll always remember last night. I was special to me. Don't ever change.

[Pub Lover]

Dammit, there is already a band called The Vicious Kanids. I hope they are good.

[Pub Lover]

Without watching the whole video,

I couldn't either, it was so dull. :(

[Sethomas]

Also, I think it was released around the millennial cusp, so the tv they're watching could have only been purchased in a collaborative effort of the seven great kings of Europe.

[Asila]

Also, I think it was released around the millennial cusp, so the tv they're watching could have only been purchased in a collaborative effort of the seven great kings of Europe.


I've no clue what the means, but it's fucking funny.
Wait a minute, weren't you going to bed? Damnit Seth, I had plotted my whole night around the idea that you were going to bed!

[Pub Lover]

Or it was a fake tv made by a black box & a cheap digital effect.

[Tadao]

go to bed

[Asila]

go to bed


NO

I'D SAY COME WITH ME BUT THAT'S A LITTLE MUCH

[Tadao]

If you lived by I'd be all over those love pillows of yours.

[Asila]

I know it, isn't distance a bitch?

[Tadao]

Well I'm going to pull one off to my youtube favorites folder and fall asleep with my cock in my hand covered in jizz and fecal matter.

Goodnight

[Grislygus]

If a girl is breaking up with a possessive shithead, why the FUCK would she go back and sleep at their house, where he's going to be drunk and fucking WAITING for her goddammit

[Pub Lover]

I have only ever lived on small islands so I don't understand how your homes can be connected by land yet you're unwilling to drive it.

[Asila]

Because she's not thinking clearly, I assume?

[Pub Lover]

Well I'm going to pull one off to my youtube favorites folder and fall asleep with my cock in my hand covered in jizz and fecal matter.

I didn't need to read that, Fartin.


I didn't need that at all.

[Asila]

I didn't need to read that, Fartin.


I didn't need that at all.

Think of it as character building

[Pub Lover]

Think of it as character building

My character is built of enough of that stuff, I need more Sugar & Spice.

[Asila]

And everything nice?

[Asila]

goddamnit, they can't all be winners

[RaNkeri]

It's time for noodles and bacon

[executioneer]

I have only ever lived on small islands so I don't understand how your homes can be connected by land yet you're unwilling to drive it.

well its not like i haven't made an effort on occasion, but since parts of the country are in different time zones you have to drive over 88 miles per hour if you want to go to them and damn it if the cops don't hate that

[Asila]

well its not like i haven't made an effort on occasion, but since parts of the country are in different time zones you have to drive over 88 miles per hour if you want to go to them and damn it if the cops don't hate that

I'd argue that it's worth it but who am I to say?

[Pub Lover]

http://www.cyberpunkreview.com/images/timecop11.jpg

[ElPila666]

Yeah!

[Pub Lover]

Chistopher Lloyd isn't dead yet, right?

I want to see BttF Vs Timecop. :(

Uwe Boll can direct! :eek

[ElPila666]

In Timecop people got melted if the touch with the past themselves, i mean poor Marty

[executioneer]

man back to the future vs timecop vs terminator :eek

[Pub Lover]

In Timecop people got melted if the touch with the past themselves, i mean poor Marty

Marty never touched himself, did he? :eek

[ElPila666]

I have Uwe Boll last movie "Seed", they refuse to realease it in England also in USA, cause it shows an animal torture, The Tideland girl is in it, so i'm about to watch the thing

[ElPila666]

ALIEN VS PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR

[executioneer]

Marty never touched himself, did he? :eek

hahaha, out of context :lol

[Pub Lover]

Fine, Tim Burton can direct & Jonny Depp can be the time cop. :rolleyes

[RaNkeri]

Timecop is fucking kick ass :x

[Pub Lover]

hahaha, out of context :lol

Exactly!;)


:lol

[RaNkeri]

Although I hate it how Van Damme has to do splits atleast once during the movie.

Like "Look what I can do! Can you?" >:

[ElPila666]

http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff207/bthepuppet/seed1.jpg

[Asila]

Fine, Tim Burton can direct & Jonny Depp can be the time cop. :rolleyes:


And I'll write a fanfic about it.
Seriously guys I'm supposed to write a love scene for class but all my love scenes end with sex, and that can't be good can it?

[Pub Lover]

And I'll write a fanfic about it.
Seriously guys I'm supposed to write a love scene for class but all my love scenes end with sex, and that can't be good can it?

You don't seem to know what love means.

Want me to show you?

[Asila]

Thanks for getting 80s songs stuck in my head Pub.

[RaNkeri]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v202/RaNkeri/vandammesplit.jpg

:lol

[Pub Lover]

Thanks for getting 80s songs stuck in my head Pub.

You see, the power of love is a curious thing. It can make one man weep, while another man sings. Change a hawk to a little white dove? More than a feeling thats the power, the power of love!

[Asila]

You see, the power of love is a curious thing. It can make one man weep, while another man sings. Change a hawk to a little white dove? More than a feeling thats the power, the power of love!

YOU'RE AN ASS.

If I should falter, would you open your arms out to me? We could make love not war, and live in peace with our hearts. I'm so in love with you, I'll be forever blue.

[Grislygus]

how yall doin up in here

[Asila]

Grislygus: Alfred Hitchcock makes everything better.

[Grislygus]

Absolutely






Jesus Christ Pub. Let's see, I got her at eight o clock, worked for an hour, went to an hour long class at nine, came back, kept working, went to my next class at eleven, came back at noon, worked a little and studied until one, ate lunch, came back at two, took a break at four, came back and started working again at six, and it is now 1:45 am the following day

So that means I've been stuck in this pub lab for twelve hours and forty five minutes, and you've been here whenever I've signed on

Are you a guardian spirit

[Asila]

Pub is the guardian angel that protects us from the real world.

I wish willie hadn't gone to bed too :(

[Grislygus]

I'M NEVER GOING TO ESCAPE, FUCK

[Pandajuice]

I'm here. The fun can stop now. PUB!

[Pandajuice]

THESE PRETZELS ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY!

[Pandajuice]

http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Lot/1860/shpagat.gif

[Pandajuice]

It's OK! I have NO problem talking to myself! I'm the most interesting person I know anyway!

In fact, I hereby deem page 1495 as the All-Pandajuice page!

Don't cockblock.

[RaNkeri]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v202/RaNkeri/vandammesplit2.jpg

[ElPila666]

http://img246.imageshack.us/img246/6757/noretreat4es4.jpg

[ElPila666]

FUCK! Did you searched for No Retreat No Surrender too?

[ElPila666]

This guy weared the Predator suit in the first movie, right?

[RaNkeri]

Nope. He was supposed to, but he withdrew because he was afraid of being injured.

[RaNkeri]

The guy who wore the predator suit in the 1st and 2nd movie was kevin Peter Hall, may he rest in peace :(

[ElPila666]

The sascuath of Harry And The Hendersons was role made by that dude too, i always thoght that was Hulk Hogan inside that suit

[Pandajuice]

The guy who wore the predator suit in the 1st and 2nd movie was kevin Peter Hall, may he rest in peace :(

I guess the first guy who was afraid of getting hurt had a reason to be afraid..

[RaNkeri]

He didn't die because of an accident during the filming.



In the fall of 1990, Hall was involved in a serious car accident in Los Angeles. During surgery for his critical wounds, he received a blood transfusion that was contaminated with HIV. He soon contracted AIDS and went public with his illness with the full support of his wife.
On April 10, 1991, Hall met an untimely death from pneumonia. He was 35 years old

[RaNkeri]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v202/RaNkeri/vandammesplit3.jpg

[Pub Lover]

So that means I've been stuck in this pub lab for twelve hours and forty five minutes, and you've been here whenever I've signed on

Are you a guardian spirit

I've got a twelve hour work day & enough seconds here & there to have this window open in the background, then I have four hours of free time that I use to kick back & relax so I spend it here. All while so drunk I could fall over.

I miss the days of unemployment where my sole preoccupation was posting here. I got to sleep in.

[Sethomas]

Every once in a while, something in my spam folder will be just good enough for me to open. And when I do this, sometimes I'm not entirely displeased.
---
From: Elmo@sbhendrix.com
We invite you to the world of happiness!
By and by you'll notice positive changes happening to your boner!
Initiate prodigious transformation of that part of your body!
---
I'm glad these changes I've noticed happening to my boner are positive ones. And I'm sure that Asila would be quite sufficient to initiate prodigious transformation of that part of [my] body, thank you!

[Guitar Woman]

:lol

[ElPila666]

:pagebrak

[ElPila666]

I need shock treatment :tear

[Pub Lover]

Beautiful girl, love the dress. High school smile, oh yes. Where she is now I can only guess. Gone baby, gone. I can tell by the way that you move and walk, I can see by the way that you baby talk. I know by the way that you treat your man I can love you baby, until it's a CRIME!

Where can I find a woman like that? I'm looking in the mirror all the time, wondering what she don't see in me. I've been funny & been cool with the lines. Isn't that the way love is supposed to be? Tell me, where can I find a woman like that?

[Guitar Woman]

El Pila is not restricted by the 24 posts per page standard. He is just that awesome.

[Pub Lover]

He is just that awesome.

Thank you. ;)

[Asila]

Every once in a while, something in my spam folder will be just good enough for me to open. And when I do this, sometimes I'm not entirely displeased.
---
From: Elmo@sbhendrix.com (Elmo@sbhendrix.com)
We invite you to the world of happiness!
By and by you'll notice positive changes happening to your boner!
Initiate prodigious transformation of that part of your body!
---
I'm glad these changes I've noticed happening to my boner are positive ones. And I'm sure that Asila would be quite sufficient to initiate prodigious transformation of that part of [my] body, thank you!


:lol I'll post something more appropriate when my small child is not unfolding all my clean laundry right next to me. Cause you know, that would be creepy.

[Tadao]

Liquid won't mind.

[MarioRPG]

Every once in a while, something in my spam folder will be just good enough for me to open. And when I do this, sometimes I'm not entirely displeased.
---
From: Elmo@sbhendrix.com
We invite you to the world of happiness!
By and by you'll notice positive changes happening to your boner!
Initiate prodigious transformation of that part of your body!
---
I'm glad these changes I've noticed happening to my boner are positive ones. And I'm sure that Asila would be quite sufficient to initiate prodigious transformation of that part of [my] body, thank you!
I don't even know what prodigious means. Back in my day penis ads were simple, with words like "big" and "rod".

[Pub Lover]

You'll learn that word & many others when you get to High School, MarioRPG.

[Pub Lover]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/arts/graphics/2008/04/04/bframbow.jpg

[RaNkeri]

Well, time for me to hit the bed, but here's some more Van Damme to bring the manliness back to this god forsaken thread >:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v202/RaNkeri/vandamme.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v202/RaNkeri/vandammepic.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v202/RaNkeri/vandammepic2.jpg

[Sethomas]

A while ago, after I sold a book of weird etymologies, I came up with "Seth's Law of Philology". It goes something like,

The square of the level of how much a conjectured word history is likely to be judged interesting is directly proportional to its likelihood of being apocryphal.

Like when I read that "snob" was an abbreviation for "sine nobitate", and there was a huge debate between Oxonians and Cambridge geeks over who started it, and then I finally found out that it was just a convoluted use of a dialectal term for a cobbler.

[Pub Lover]

An issue that I'm finding to be a disappointment concerning Seth's resurgence as a frequent poster would be that while the words he uses are uncommon & perhaps even unknown in my everyday speech, they do appear to form the core of his vocabulary merely by replacing, rather than adjoing, such items that my pedestrian articulation makes merry via.

If anyone has been feeling likewise, be sure to decide that this has been his intention.

[liquidstatik]

25 LIGHTERS ON MY DRESSA, YESSA
I GOTS TA GET PAAAAID

[Pandajuice]

An issue that I'm finding to be a disappointment concerning Seth's resurgence as a frequent poster would be that while the words he uses are uncommon & perhaps even unknown in my everyday speech, they do appear to form the core of his vocabulary merely by replacing, rather than adjoing, such items that my pedestrian articulation makes merry via.

If anyone has been feeling likewise, be sure to decide that this has been his intention.

http://www.strategies4learningpress.com/art/bigwords.gif

It helped me.

[Pub Lover]

Very funny. Good job, New Guy! :thumbsup

[MetalMilitia]

I think the longest word I've ever used in conversation (as in not preceded by "Hey check out this stupid long word,") was anthropomorphisation.

I was talking about lolcats :(

[Pub Lover]

An issue that I'm finding to be a disappointment concerning Seth's resurgence as a frequent poster would be that while the words he uses are uncommon & perhaps even unknown in my everyday speech, they do appear to form the core of his vocabulary merely by replacing, rather than adjoing, such items that my pedestrian articulation makes merry via.

If anyone has been feeling likewise, be sure to decide that this has been his intention.

To clarify, Seth isn't being as smart as he is able because he wants us to think he isn't as smart as he is. What? :confused

Also, not saying a word isn't not knowing the word. :rolleyes

[liquidstatik]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punk_Goes_Crunk God damnit >:

[bigtimecow]

lol music sucks

[liquidstatik]

how dare they fuck up rap >:

[liquidstatik]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=PCOcUbxweEQ this ones alright, but only cause it's the notorious B.I.G. and you can still hear him rapping ;<

[liquidstatik]

nvm that one sucked too >:

[bigtimecow]

most/all of the bands on that compilation are pretty horrible to begin with

[bigtimecow]

oh, and can that one you linked to even be considered a "punk rock" take on it? if i'm understanding correctly it's just one of the white scene guys rapping. that's not all too different

[liquidstatik]

i know, right. this ANGERS me. :(

[Pub Lover]

how dare they fuck up rap >:

If a song cannot transcend it's initial genre it is crap.

Also, all rap is rubbish.

In other news, the sky is down & you love the cock.

[liquidstatik]

yeah well punk, to me at least, just sounds like white guys rapping real mean-like

[liquidstatik]

plus all the bands are faggoty christian hxc anyway not punk punk ;<

[Pub Lover]

yeah well punk, to me at least, just sounds like white guys rapping real mean-like

Yeah, & the crooners were all rappers but could only do it slowly due to their severe mental retardation.


Wait...?

[liquidstatik]

no thats mike jones you're thinkin of

[MetalMilitia]

Loveline :rolleyes

[liquidstatik]

It'd just get merged to this, anyway :rolleyes

[liquidstatik]

http://streetknowledge.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/slim-thug.jpg
:(

[Pub Lover]

http://www.mtv.com/shared/media/images/artist/v/vanilla_ice/az_official/281x211.jpg

[MetalMilitia]

I just saw the worst game trailer ever made:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=an8BIymy-JE

[liquidstatik]

hahahahahahha

[Pub Lover]

How Would You Like To Be A Zombie? Cyborg Arm Games breaks the zombie video game mold with their new PC first person shooter: Cry of the Infected. In a unique twist on zombie games, gamers can feel what it might be like to be a raging zombie. An entire city of civilians has been turned into zombie-like creatures as a result of a biological warfare experiment gone wrong.

Gamers play as Robert, a man trying to find his missing wife in a city torn apart by the zombie outbreak. Groups of soldiers shoot anything that moves out of their own fear and loss of control. Some zombies attack their own kind in fits of agony. Perhaps worst of all is the crushing hopelessness that Robert must overcome as he rips and tears his way through this abandoned city.

Cry of the Infected is a PC first person shooter featuring a unique story told through 1-2 hours of gameplay, plus an alternate ending and unlockable content. It is available for only $4 for immediate download through our website

[Pub Lover]

Zombies eat their wives.

[Pandajuice]

How Would You Like To Be A Zombie? Cyborg Arm Games breaks the zombie video game mold with their new PC first person shooter: Cry of the Infected. In a unique twist on zombie games, gamers can feel what it might be like to be a raging zombie. An entire city of civilians has been turned into zombie-like creatures as a result of a biological warfare experiment gone wrong.

Gamers play as Robert, a man trying to find his missing wife in a city torn apart by the zombie outbreak. Groups of soldiers shoot anything that moves out of their own fear and loss of control. Some zombies attack their own kind in fits of agony. Perhaps worst of all is the crushing hopelessness that Robert must overcome as he rips and tears his way through this abandoned city.

Cry of the Infected is a PC first person shooter featuring a unique story told through 1-2 hours of gameplay, plus an alternate ending and unlockable content. It is available for only $4 for immediate download through our website

See, that's unrealistic. No one would ever go back into a zombie infested town to find their wife.

[Pandajuice]

By the way Pub, check the new members thread. Your wish has come true.

[MetalMilitia]

Even a zombie? That's like a people going back into a people infected town.

WHERE'S MY WIFE

[Pub Lover]

He wouldn't be able to get passed all the punk-ass kids jumping the wall with their daddy's shotgun.

[Pub Lover]

By the way Pub, check the new members thread. Your wish has come true.

I saw, yeah Bradford is a shit hole. :lol

All the info I wanted.

[Pandajuice]

I saw, yeah Bradford is a shit hole. :lol

All the info I wanted.

Seriously, EVERY single person I talk to here in Bradford asks me where I from and this is the exchange that never differs:

"So I detect by your accent that you're not from here...American? Canadian?"
"I'm American actually, from California."
*Eyes grow wide* "EH?! What the hell are you doing in Bradford?"

It makes me that much more homesick.

[Pub Lover]

Now that I know you're not hating on any of the towns I like, I feel less inclined to dislike you. :eek

[Esuohlim]

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE ASIAN PEOPLE I SEE EVERY DAY:

YOU'RE IN AMERICA NOW. TRAFFIC DIRECTIONALITY GENERALLY ALSO APPLIES TO SIDEWALKS, HALLWAYS, AND STAIRCASES. >:

AND YOU'RE THE WRONG ONE, WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO GO AROUND YOU? >:

[Asila]

YOU TELL THEM I AM SURE THEY ARE LISTENING

[Tadao]

Because we are the master race.

[Esuohlim]

Seriously these fucking exchange students from Hong Kong and Japan not only stick to the left side still, but I see literally throngs of people having to manuever around one or two of them on the sidewalk. What the heck jerks >:

[Esuohlim]

I HOPE Y'ALL ARE READING I-MOCKERY ABOUT MY COMPLAINT, I AIN'T GONNA TELL YOU AGAIN

[GADZOOKS]

Les Waste is back (but posting at a much cooler forum)

[liquidstatik]

i wish i knew of a cooler forum ;<

[Tadao]

i wish i knew of a cooler forum ;<

http://forum.doityourself.com/forumdisplay.php?f=126

[Dr. Octogonopus]

See, that's unrealistic. No one would ever go back into a zombie infested town to find their wife.

Pshaw, I'd go into a zombie city to save MY wife. Gives me an excuse to bash some more zombies. Oh, and I guess save my wife.

[Pub Lover]

Pshaw, I'd go into a zombie city to save MY wife. Gives me an excuse to bash some more zombies. Oh, and I guess save my wife.

You're one of the 16 year olds with the borrowed hunting rifle I mentioned.

ALSO, WOULD YOU TRY AND SAVE YOUR WIFE IF YOU WERE A ZOMBIE WITH ALL THE MURDER/BRAINLUST THAT ZOMBIES UNFAILINGLY POSSESS?

[MarioRPG]

You'll learn that word & many others when you get to High School, MarioRPG.

Pub with the obligatory Ice Burn.

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/2008/april/bframbow.jpg

[Pub Lover]

http://media.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/photo/galleries/hollow/images/land1.jpg

[MarioRPG]

Well played Pub. That's why your the chat king :rock

EDIT: I admit defeat and bit you goodnight.

[Pub Lover]

Please don't bite me at any time. :(

Also, Willie is the King, we can't have two Kings.

[GADZOOKS]

You can be queen.

Do you know why?

[Pub Lover]

I do not know why.

[Esuohlim]

I know why.

Hold on a second Pub I'll call you and tell you :lol

[Sethomas]

I just took a political subject and inserted a joke that relied on a fairly low level of pop culture. Here are the assumptions I made about my audience that caused things to go wrong wrong.

1) They know what the capital of the United Arab Emirates is.
2) They were born before 1988.
3) They have the ability to detect irony in my voice, which is significantly less monotone than when I was 13.
4) They're not kind of dumb.

Anyways. Here's an actual snippet of REAL LIFE DIALOG I vocalized earlier today, posted completely out of context so as to sound that much cooler.

"Yeah, as soon as I finished explaining that story, I knew there was something interesting I'd left out. I eventually remembered that I have a picture of her disembodied head that I took when I was fifteen."

[Dr. Octogonopus]

You're one of the 16 year olds with the borrowed hunting rifle I mentioned.

ALSO, WOULD YOU TRY AND SAVE YOUR WIFE IF YOU WERE A ZOMBIE WITH ALL THE MURDER/BRAINLUST THAT ZOMBIES UNFAILINGLY POSSESS?

What happened to my shotgun?
I dunno what I'd do if I were a zombie. What kind of zombie are we talking about? Voodoo? Solanum? T/G-Virus?

[Pub Lover]

I know why.

Hold on a second Pub I'll call you and tell you :lol

You get one more of those before i tell you that you don't have my number. ...oh shit

[Pub Lover]

What happened to my shotgun?
I dunno what I'd do if I were a zombie. What kind of zombie are we talking about? Voodoo? Solanum? T/G-Virus?

What suburb of Malton do you live in? I'm up in Dulston.

[Dr. Octogonopus]

I looked out my door, and all I could see was Austin, so I'm afraid I can't help you there.

[Pub Lover]

Well, I guess that means you have a graphics card or a life or something else in the same vein of things I lack.

[Dr. Octogonopus]

Like a robot? Damn, you're awesome. Can you plug yourself into the internet?!

[Asila]

I just took a political subject and inserted a joke that relied on a fairly low level of pop culture. Here are the assumptions I made about my audience that caused things to go wrong wrong.

1) They know what the capital of the United Arab Emirates is.
2) They were born before 1988.
3) They have the ability to detect irony in my voice, which is significantly less monotone than when I was 13.
4) They're not kind of dumb.


I just got the strangest mental image of the people that you talk to, Seth.

[Pub Lover]

Like a robot? Damn, you're awesome. Can you plug yourself into the internet?!

Yes, but it never hugs back. :(

[Pub Lover]

I just got the strangest mental image of the people that you talk to, Seth.

Goodwill Cougers.

[GADZOOKS]

specifically Charlie

[Dr. Octogonopus]

Yes, but it never hugs back. :(

Damned ungrateful internet. You don't need to take its shit.

[Asila]

Yes, but it never hugs back. :(

IT TRIES, BUT WHY DO YOU REJECT THE LOVE

[Pub Lover]

IT TRIES, BUT WHY DO YOU REJECT THE LOVE

You're thinking of it's boner. Hugs don't involve boners. Once you start messing around with other people's boners you start having kids out of wedlock.

...wait? :confused

[liquidstatik]

There's a 5 second rule :rolleyes

[WhiteRat]

I went 1-1 playing Madden 08 on Live. The loss was a great reminder of why I don't like playing games on Live. I'm a pretty sore loser and a poor sport.

[Dr. Octogonopus]

Damn, you guys get 5 seconds? Lucky, over here it's like 1 second and then you get mace'd.

[Asila]

You're thinking of it's boner. Hugs don't involve boners. Once you start messing around with other people's boners you start having kids out of wedlock.

...wait? :confused:

I think it would fun to be offended by that

[Pub Lover]

In the User Blog suggestion thread I wanted to make a comment but I couldn't think of a nice way of saying that no one here is interesting enough to deserve a blog.

No, seriously, I've read your livejournals, myspaces, & xangas & on the whole? No Thanks.

[Pub Lover]

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2006/11/29/RAMPAGE_061129061332274_wideweb__300x375.jpg

[WhiteRat]

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2006/11/29/RAMPAGE_061129061332274_wideweb__300x375.jpg

The Army won't let him carry a magazine in his M16:(

[Pub Lover]

I think it would fun to be offended by that

Well, don't start putting on airs, graces or indeed morals on my behalf.

[Asila]

OH I WON'T

It's okay though because my out-of-wedlock child is cooler than I'll ever be.

[liquidstatik]

asl?

[Pub Lover]

Blonde hair & blue eyes, on such things empires are built.

[Pub Lover]

asl?

:x


So I was just this second envying Asila her fortune, but in the next I am so very glad I am without.

[Asila]

So I was just this second envying Asila her fortune, but in the next I am so very glad I am without.

Having a pretty and sweet daughter is a constant source of worry. But she's still the coolest thing ever :rock

[Pub Lover]

A gift of Peeece, in all good faith.

[Pub Lover]

http://dailyart.tea-nifty.com/art_can/images/pic71_the_magic_numbers_3.jpg

[Tadao]

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f283/msjodie/18329500_l.gif

[Pub Lover]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/hyperdrive/images/gallery/1/1024/hyperdrive_main_1024.jpg

[Asila]

I wish I had the BBC :(

[Pub Lover]

I wish I had the BBC :(

So does Seven Force.

Maybe back when there were more than a handful of decent posters here. Now I think you'd just be showing how much these forums suck.

:gigh

[Sethomas]

(I only listen to Custom when attractive lasses email me an mp3 of a song of theirs.)

Hey Mister I really like your daughter,
I'd like to eat her like ice cream
maybe dip her in chocolate

Hey Mister on your way over
in your Volvo, suit, and tie
Well, be crawling in your bed soon
messing around, maybe getting high

It's not what ya did,
It's not what ya didn't
God gave her a perfect body
and now I'm all up in it.

It's not she's a tramp.
It's not she's not pure.
She just likes getting her fuck on,
and its good for that I'm sure

Hey Mister I really like your daughter.
When I'm horny like thirsty
She's a bottle of water.

Hey Mister how'd it get so bad
You raised her so well
and now she's calling me dad
in the back seat naked of a new Volkswagen
the perfect little gift for high school graduation.

It's not what ya did,
It's not what ya didn't
God gave her a perfect body
and now I'm all up in it.

It's not she's a tramp.
It's not she's not pure.
She just likes getting her fuck on,
and its good for that I'm sure

Nana na nana na,
Nana na nana na,
Nana na nana na,
ha hahaha ha ha haha

I eat all the food in your fridge
Call my friends around the world
Rack up your long distance do
Breakstands neutral drops
Wreck all your cars
Drink all the booze in your cheezy ass wet bar
Order stuff on your credit cards
Leave boogers in the skippy jar
Smoke your cigars
Answer the phone tell your boss you moved to mars
When you call in late from work tell your wife
You're at the titty bars

It's not what ya did,
It's not what ya didn't
God gave her a perfect body
and now I'm all up in it.

It's not she's a tramp.
It's not she's not pure.
She just likes getting her fuck on,
and its good for that I'm sure

I can't lie I have to tell the truth
My commandments says I'm a total spoof
Your daughter's a freak
Your daughter's a pro
When i'm done with her
She'll do one of your bros

I hope I'll never have a daughter
I hope I'll never have a daughter
I hope I'll never have a daughter
I hope I'll never have a daughter

Nana na nana na,
Nana na nana na,
Nana na nana na,
Nana na nana naaaaaaaa!

[Asila]

We're almost at 1500 pages and that pleases me somehow.

[RaNkeri]

good morning everyone :rolleyes

[Sethomas]

It should be noted about that attractive lass who sent me that mp3:

I once brought to her attention how awkward it would have been if I had told her sister that I have an mp3 in which she fakes an orgasm. When I met her sister it was in a totally unrelated situation where I saw the sister's maiden name and realized that I was inside a bizarre coincidence where the sister couldn't have known who I was.

There was some miscommunication involved when I expressed how awkward this would have been in the frame of what I intended as friendly conversation, and after some meticulously-worded apologies from me she began to believe that I wasn't blackmailing her and she brushed it off fairly well.

[Tadao]

http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/comics/00000120.gif

[Asila]

*gasps* A comic link that I lost when my other laptop caught on fire!

Tadao you're my hero

[Tadao]

Shits funny huh

[Asila]

Fo sho

Edit: My house is too quiet :(

[Sethomas]

Hey, if you want you can send an mp3 with you faking an orgasm. Now's your chance to work on that.*

I have a budding collection.

*if you meet anyone from this message board, you'll need the practice anyways.

[Asila]

Hey, if you want you can send an mp3 with you faking an orgasm. Now's your chance to work on that.*

I have a budding collection.


I don't know whether to laugh or practice faking an orgasm.

...hmmmm....

[Sethomas]

I don't know whether to laugh or practice faking an orgasm.

Usually, when women in a state of resignation ask themselves this question it's because of the pictures of penises that flood their inboxes after they post a personals ad on CL.

APROPOS:

I've outed myself about having a dating profile, right? And I justify it to myself because it's of the rare breed that doesn't require payment? Right.

Anyways:
all i know is that a rotten egg nebula is one of the most beautiful things on the planet.

Hey there. I know that the site says we're perfect for each other, and the fact that we have a freakishly high number of common acquaintances makes it awkward for me to ignore the hitherto passive signs that you have interest in me, but I just wanted to thank you for letting me justify my failure to reciprocate attraction via your fascinating understanding of where nebulae may be found.

[Sethomas]

Sometimes I think that Fat_Hippo is a Rankeri character that he made because of his assumption that we wouldn't make fun of him if only he were from Switzerland. Switzerland, you may notice, is not quite the same thing as Finland, you see. He continues to post under the Rankeri name so that nobody suspects it, and also so that it would prevent us from talking about him behind the cyber equivalent of his back.

[RaNkeri]

Ah, I miss the good ol' days too :tear

[Pandajuice]

Sometimes I think that Fat_Hippo is a Rankeri character that he made because of his assumption that we wouldn't make fun of him if only he were from Switzerland. Switzerland, you may notice, is not quite the same thing as Finland, you see.

Yes, that's true. I'd be much more inclined to make fun of Finland than Switzerland. It's just easier.

Fun fact: The name Persephone (the Greek goddess) means "Assphone" in Finnish.

[MetalMilitia]

I had to take the day off work today to get my car exhaust pipe fixed. While I was waiting for the garage to stick the new one on I was involved in a minor road incident and had to call an ambulance for a woman (formerly) on a motorcycle.
Some van failed to stop quickly enough at a zebra crossing and knocked the woman off the bike.
She wasn't really hurt badly but while a bunch of passers-by were organising the traffic situation, making sure the woman was okay, calling the emergency services and all that stuff the van driver just sat in his van doing fuck all. He eventually got out and asked me what he should do and if he could go so I told him he needed to stay and wait for the police so he went and started examining the damage to his van.

He didn't even apologise to the motorcyclist. Some people :rolleyes

It was nice too see how helpful all the strangers (including myself :hat) were though.

[MetalMilitia]

In other news I just remembered this video I saw a few weeks ago:

http://www.clipal.com/video/pen_mightier

It's a kind of music video I guess with a really well re-mixed version of the first movement of the Moonlight Sonata.

[T-Rex]

My girlfriend's parents are in town tomorrow and I just know that I'm going to get dragged along to some lame dinner or something. How can I get out of it? I'd marry the woman but even so, I'm seriously thinking about breaking up with her to avoid an evening of total boredom with her olds. Her dad was in the RAF (Royal Air Force) and thinks being a pilot other than one in the military is for pussies. This is probably true but I don't need to hear it. Her mom's cool though. She says stuff like "I hope you're taking care of him" and "I hope she's taking care of you". Of course General Talks-a-bunch says things like "Real men take care of themselves and their women". I don't want to be impolite but the old mans an asshole. Maybe during dinner I can trip a waiter carrying a creamy pie and have him fling the it into her dad's rude condesending face.

I got out of it last time by saying my dad's car broke down and he needed me to pick him up. I waited for her to leave and played guitar hero.

[Pandajuice]

Just stand up for yourself man. It'll be fun and productive. It'll alleviate the boredom to piss the old guy off, and at the same time show him you have some balls and aren't afraid of him. It might even turn your girlfriend on too.

[Sethomas]

Well, you're in need of two paradigm shifts:

1. Realize that free food is good. At least, that's how it is the AMERICA, and I don't know of any cultural barriers that would shift that for Englishers.
2. Realize that by making such a big deal about things like this, you're kind of proving that her dad has a very valid point about you being a little bitch. Stop being a little bitch and maybe common ground will present itself and these things will be more tolerable.

[Pandajuice]

Well, you're in need of two paradigm shifts:

1. Realize that free food is good. At least, that's how it is the AMERICA, and I don't know of any cultural barriers that would shift that for Englishers.
2. Realize that by making such a big deal about things like this, you're kind of proving that her dad has a very valid point about you being a little bitch. Stop being a little bitch and maybe common ground will present itself and these things will be more tolerable.

I concur. Another factor that Seth and I failed to mention is that, in addition to free food, you'll also receive what is tantamount to a utopian paradise to all Brits: free booze.

[Pub Lover]

I just wanted to thank you for letting me justify my failure to reciprocate attraction via your fascinating understanding of where nebulae may be found.[/I]

It wasn't until 2006 (A year I'm in a way surprised to find isn't the present) that the International Astronomical Union set a reasonable definition of "planet". There being numourous uses of the word that disagree with the IAU's definition due to humanity's habits. A rather simple one would be 'Our planet is the world. The world is also the universe. Why isn't a planet the universe?'

[Pub Lover]

Realize that free food is good.

British food? :x

[Pub Lover]

you'll also receive what is tantamount to a utopian paradise to all Brits: free booze.

OH SHIT! RUMBLED! :eek

[Pandajuice]

Hey, I just call 'em like I see 'em PUB LOVER

[MetalMilitia]

British food? :x

British food is fantastic, Pub. The full English breakfast is like the Jesus of breakfasts... except for it kills you... so perhaps it should be called the Soviet Russian Jesus of breakfasts.

>:

[Pub Lover]

Antagonist: Enjoy this final moment of reprieve, old friend. For once the shadow on this sundial reaches twelve o'clock you will surely meet your maker.

Protagonist: I make my own fate, buster brown!

Antagonist: Perhaps you'd like me to dial 911? Although, I'm sure a janitorial service would be more beneficial after I'm done with you.

Protagonist: No need, I'm the one here to clean up and this place is looking mighty dirty!

Antagonist: Dirty? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I suppose. To bad you won't have eyeballs once my Kinetic Conductor Relays boil them out of their sockets.

Protagonist: You're a boil on the American people and I'm here to lance you!

Antagonist: You know I consider Lance Armstrong to be a personal inspiration. I even named one of my ships after him. That was, of course, before you sunk my slave trading ring. Just like I'm about to sink you into this vat of molten lava!

Protagonist: You know, in all my life the only ship I've ever wanted to sail was friendship. Well guess what buddy. You just sunk my battleship!

Antagonist: Boardgames?! I remember when we used to play boardgames together. You never could beat me. I suppose, once again, this is checkmate.

Protagonist: I'm not one of your pawns, scum! I'm an American! I eat hamburgers for lunch, hot dogs for dinner and criminal scum like you for breakfast!

Antagonist: It is supper, isn't it? I suppose I'll leave you to this. Do try not to fry your own brain in your inevitable attempt at escape. Though, that might be increasingly difficult, what with your head being strapped into the Mind Overloader!

Protagonist: Get me a forklift and I'll overload you!

Free association movie scripts. :lol

They always end with everyone involved screaming 'MOTHER FUCKER!' :(

That thread needs Fartin Mowler. >:

For all you new people, Fartin was the best character I ever created. :\

[Asila]

The house is still too quiet and I'm rapidly devolving into online activities that may be best described as 'attention whorish.'

I've outed myself about having a dating profile, right? And I justify it to myself because it's of the rare breed that doesn't require payment? Right.


Right, though now it's really only a matter of time before I attempt to satisfy my curiousity in regards to that topic.

[Pub Lover]

British food is fantastic, Pub. The full English breakfast is like the Jesus of breakfasts...

Was I talking to a Brit? No, therefore I may have been referencing the rest of the world's opinion of our cuisine. >:

Our food is like an abusive spouse, we know we shouldn't go back... but we love them.

[MetalMilitia]

Oh fuck I just came up with a joke.

People kept telling me I had a dirty mind... so I moved to China.

Ohhh political. I'm now officially a political satirist.

You can substitute "moved to China" with "joined the Church of Scientology" depending on the situation.:posh

[Asila]

Our food is like an abusive spouse, we know we shouldn't go back... but we love them.

There's a whole aisle down at the local supermarket devoted to british foods and I'm often tempted to have a brief but passionate affair with some Branston pickles.

[Sethomas]

We had both been to Europe before, but in 2002 my sister and I visited England together and that was a new experience for both of us.

Dealing with food, it wasn't strictly a matter of "that looks disgusting" or whatever, it was that if something sounded good on the menu then it always ended up being "ethnic cuisine", and we wanted a cultural experience that we couldn't really get in a 30 mile radius from home. All the English food was just... unremarkable.

But, yeah, one morning we went out for breakfast. Breakfast was wonderful. Thank you, England for understanding that a croissant and a demitasse of coffee is not "breakfast", even if it DOES happen to cost six euros.

When my sister actually moved to England a few years later, she sent me a postcard with a picture of an English breakfast for the image, and it was cut so that the card matched the shape of the plate. It's still hanging up on the wall downstairs, and when people ask me why I have a a random picture of a plate of food hanging up they fail to understand why I invest so much passion into my explanation.

[Sethomas]

hey asila if you want to try some spotted dick mines pretty fresh

[Asila]

I do not think you are helping the situation Seth, because I almost said okay

[Esuohlim]

There's a whole aisle down at the local supermarket devoted to british foods and I'm often tempted to have a brief but passionate affair with some Branston pickles.

I frequent the British food aisle for its candy bars. America has nothing quite like Jaffa or Aero Mint bars I can tell you that right now >:

Except it does, you know, in the British food aisle I suppose :(

[Esuohlim]

Jafa, occasionally Jaffa, a derogatory term in New Zealand for an Aucklander

:eek

[Grislygus]

http://www.strategies4learningpress.com/art/bigwords.gif


It helped me.


Does anyone else find it hilarious that those are not only BIG WORDS, but that they are also apparently VERY DIFFICULT TO PRONOUNCE

"visualize" THERE'S AN 'S' AND A 'Z' IN THERE, WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT

Also, all rap is rubbish.

I like MC Solaar :( He has artistry


Also, what in the hell is an aucklander, I've never known and am too lazy to look it up