I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[elx]

i am about to die :(

[Zhukov]

Hard luck.

[Tadao]

:nipplesofayoungman

[Kitsa]

I hate almost everything today.

[Zhukov]

I hate almost everything everyday.

[Fathom Zero]

I hated everything yesterday.

[Otto]

Life stretches out in front of me like a beatuifuKILL YOURSELF

[Esuohlim]

PAGE 3001 FUCK LIFE

[Fathom Zero]

I love today!

[Womti]

:camerondiazsnipples

[Esuohlim]

Spaghetti once I can prove you're womti you're out of here

[Grislygus]

why would you do photorealistic art with vectors

That's the retarded assignment I've been given.

[Grislygus]

:daylate/dollarshort

[Womti]

Spaghetti once I can prove you're womti you're out of here

:lol

[Grislygus]

Obviously PROS can do it, but since I'm a glorified freshman... Fuck this noise. I got other final projects that this bullshit is cutting into. If MLE can come up with a quick fix, I'm gold

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:daylate/dollarshort


You need to use CELL shading on the STEM.

[Esuohlim]

:lol

If I get 5 votes to ban you anyway, I'll do it

[Guitar Woman]

I'd say yea to that.

[Grislygus]

I vote AGAINST it, out of boredom. I further claim, without any precedent or proof, that my vote counteracts GW's and you have to get five MORE yes votes

[Guitar Woman]

He's not even amusingly retarded, though!

[Womti]

sez who?

[Fathom Zero]

:carminalappleempanadas

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Willie "madlibs" mobbs would be a gangster ass mobster name.

[Fathom Zero]

SHE WORE A RAAAAAAAAASPBERRY BERET

[WhiteRat]

the kind you find in a second hand store?

[Zhukov]

Milhouse, just ban it anyway. You don't need five votes to do what you know is right.

[elx]

why does nobody care that nature has killed 400 people in the south the last few days? >:

[Guitar Woman]

because William and Kate are getting married, omgggggggggggggg

[Tadao]

Also it was Alabama

[Shrubfest]

Well, it's a couple of hours until that wedding and it's rather a dull day. Aparrantly, they'll be riding in a open carriage whatever the weather. :wishesforrain

Also, Elton John has to provide a utility bill as proof of ID.

[Kitsa]

About 99% of the people gushing about it here don't understand that the "royal couple" doesn't give two shits about us, that no one here ever had a chance with any of them, and this pathetic wistful "let's wear fancy hats and gloves and have viewing parties" is saying more than they ever meant to about themselves.

I'm rewatching Twin Peaks on Netflix. It's gloomy outside and that little guy in the red suit is creeping me out quite admirably.

[Kitsa]

also, I hate everyone. Some of you guys are ok. A couple of people around here are okay. My kid is all right, I guess. But other than that, I hate everyone.

[Shrubfest]

Bad day, Kitsa? :(

I imagine you'd make a good log lady. No innuendo intended.

[Kitsa]

I'd kill way more people than Log Lady did.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I had to copy down a phone number for someone that the exchange was 404 and my brain just error'd out. Had to have them repeat it.

[Fathom Zero]

I've been ordered to pay $25 to someone or I am evicted, but they didn't tell me where or to whom I am to send it and I have no information to contact anybody involved. So it's gonna be a very nice day.

[Zhukov]

I actually had an awesome day today for once. Not even a royal wedding instead of a royal hanging can bring my mood down.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I've been ordered to pay $25 to someone or I am evicted, but they didn't tell me where or to whom I am to send it and I have no information to contact anybody involved. So it's gonna be a very nice day.
I don't think they can give you a 1 day eviction notice legally.

[Colonel Flagg]

But other than that, I hate everyone.


I've attended meetings like this on a regular basis. :aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh!

[Tadao]

OMG the royal wedding was awesome! Kates dress was sooooooo beautiful!

[Zhukov]

I managed to avoid the whole disgusting affair :xmas1

[MarioRPG]

I don't understand the hype of the wedding, I'm sure it's just as unexciting as any other wedding of people I wouldn't know.

[Tadao]

Looking at the crowd made me believe that I could take over England armed with a sun lamp.

[Kitsa]

I don't understand how people are unoffended by the thought of a group of people who easily considers one of themselves worth at least two hundred of any of us. I appreciate what this does for tourism and I appreciate whatever this means to them as a family, but the thought that we're all expected to stand on tiptoe en masse for a mere glimpse into their "life" rankles me.

[Kitsa]

And it rankles me even more that people actually do it, willingly.

[Tadao]

These are the same Americans that care about the words that come out of Sheens mouth. Royals are worth 200 of those idiots.

[Kitsa]

I did catch a glimpse of the procession of hats and thought they were some of the stupidest things I'd ever seen. Just because Lady Gaga straps some dumb shit to herself, that doesn't make it right. Some of those things were at weirder angles than Adebisi's.

[Fathom Zero]

I don't think they can give you a 1 day eviction notice legally.

I meant it in the thirty day sense. But it still sucks prty bad.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I thought you lived in like a dorm?

[Fathom Zero]

I did. I'm moving back into a dorm to avoid this shit. Besides, this place sucks a dick.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I'm sure you mean like a bad thing :(

I got super bored and drunk the other night and took a bunch of garter pics.

:tryingtolurepubout

[Kitsa]

Ugh, fuck dorms. I hated living in a dorm. There weren't even doors on the bathroom stalls, fuck that.

[LordSappington]

I hate when there aren't doors on the stalls. There's always that one guy who is in such a hurry to piss he practically runs right into your stall.

[Seven Force]

You sure he wasn't trying to give you lemonade?

[Kitsa]

What is the point of not having doors on the stalls? What about living in a dorm would indicate that the authorities must exercise more caution there than in, say, a common roadside rest stop?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Madlibs

[Fathom Zero]

Badlibs

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Ducklips. Whoo woo

[Fathom Zero]

Wu9bm-RJMWM

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

What the fuck is up.

[Fathom Zero]

Nothing. What up with you?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I am drinking at bars. You should be here dylan

[Fathom Zero]

I wish I could.

We should open a bar, like in Cocktail.

[LordSappington]

I was walking home from work today, through the woods. I passed through a trail that leads to a dried-up watering hole, which has a bunch of trees that are popular for people to hang out on; one of them is bent almost 90 degrees and is close to the ground. So, I saw a stepladder and a bag on the concrete bridge thing to the left, and figured there'd be someone at the trees, so I looked over. I saw some girl, dunno how old because she was far away, laying on the tree, and was like 'lol she's wearing a weird dress that makes her look like she's naked from far away. Fail.' I kept walking, and looked back over, and she was quickly getting into a purple bath robe, and some guy with a camera and another girl were now in view.
So today, I walked onto a nude photoshoot. I hope I photobombed it.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I wish I could.

We should open a bar, like in Cocktail.

I would love to open a bar. Together. It would make a lot of money and we should call it sex appeal.

[Fathom Zero]

With lots of chrome accents and an eastern European bartender.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I could totally pull off an eastern accent. Then only sell straight rum and whiskey. Plus ice.

[Fathom Zero]

The best place evar, totally mayor of it in foursquare lolz

[Zhukov]

I was walking home from work today, through the woods. I passed through a trail that leads to a dried-up watering hole, which has a bunch of trees that are popular for people to hang out on; one of them is bent almost 90 degrees and is close to the ground. So, I saw a stepladder and a bag on the concrete bridge thing to the left, and figured there'd be someone at the trees, so I looked over. I saw some girl, dunno how old because she was far away, laying on the tree, and was like 'lol she's wearing a weird dress that makes her look like she's naked from far away. Fail.' I kept walking, and looked back over, and she was quickly getting into a purple bath robe, and some guy with a camera and another girl were now in view.
So today, I walked onto a nude photoshoot. I hope I photobombed it.

Hahaha, don't you wish you could have walked up to them and awkwardly asked "hey you guys what are you doing? Why are you naked can I help?" and then sniffed loudly while pushing your glasses back up the bridge of your nose.

[Seven Force]

It's obviously an alibi for a more sinister reason for him being in the woods.

[Seven Force]

Nooooooo Fathom you changed your avatar. :(

[Seven Force]

It's going to take a few more seconds for me to recognize your posts

[Fathom Zero]

A small price to pay for RUST IN THE BLOOD OF HUMANITY

[Kitsa]

I went to the woods today and there wasn't anything nearly as cool as a nude photoshoot. But I do have a woods-nude-photoshoot story. When I was a little kid, my parents made a spontaneous decision to go to Old Man's Cave, which is a touristy nature spot featuring a large overhang and waterfall.

I remember descending this steep stairway (pre-handrail) and seeing either bikini-clad or topless women under the falls, I wish I could remember which. There was quite a professional setup...multiple photographers, big lights, the whole shebang. It turned out they were shooting either a Playboy or Sports Illustrated thing. I think it ended up being Sports Illustrated.

Anyway, my parents hustled me back up the steps and out of there. All I remember is wanting to jump in the water too, how come THEY got to be under the waterfall?

[LordSappington]

At the point when I realized that it was a nude shoot, I felt like I was already creepy enough for them, and decided to just get out before they thought I was some pervert teenager. :\

[Tadao]

no phone pics? you homo

[kahljorn]

one time i went to this park/ravine thing by my house and it wasn't even really in the middle of nowhere and i saw these people lying on a blanket on top of each other i assume they were fucking :O

[Esuohlim]

OMG YOU GUYS OSMAS BEN LLMAN IS DEAD

[Fathom Zero]

The most important member of the CIA is dead.

[elx]

I feel safe
I don't! why the bananas couldn't he have waited until tomorrow to tell us this? I was woken up because somebody was freaking out and asking me if an asteroid was coming - they tell me to turn on the news and every channel is like "OBAMA IS HAVING AN EMERGENCY MEETING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT REGARDING NATIONAL SECURITY & NOBODY IS TO LEAVE WASHINGTON!" come'on. I thought we were all in immediate danger of being eaten by zombies or getting nuked into oblivion or something. >:

[Zhukov]

I live in one of the safest places on earth :picklehat

You guys are gonna get terrorised as.

[Guitar Woman]

Safe? I was under the impression that something like 98% of the wildlife in Australia is dead set on human genocide.

The trees even explode, and there's a desert that fucking swallows you if you try walking across it. You guys have a goddamn Sarlaac.

[Mockery]

http://www.i-mockery.com/blabber/2011/05/02/mission-accomplished/

We have some lovely new "guests" commenting in the blog since I made a rare post that involved politics. :rolleyes

[Zhukov]

Sure, the mainland of Australia is dangerous, but the only thing we have to worry about on this island is the spiders and the odd murder spree. And we have been at peace with the spider people for several years now.

[Pentegarn]

I wish my country had spider people

[elx]

I live in one of the safest places on earth :picklehat

You guys are gonna get terrorised as.
The funny thing is, your country was the first that pussied out earlier and decided to declare itself under "high-alert," right now your government has it's embassies under lock down, extra security added to it's airports, police taking "precautions", and sent out official warnings to all citizens urging them not to travel internationally and to avoid public places -- despite the fact that you guys are your own continent, are on the other side of the planet, and have had absolutely nothing to do with anything, you still feel the need to jump in and become self-proclaimed targets. Like what, the big bad al qaeda terrorists are going to come after you because you're white?

I think your government is a giant attention-whore, and the fact that it felt it was appropriate to issue such warning tells me that your country is likely full of delusional drama queens. You are right though, despite the hysteria, you are quite safe, (I mean really, you're not even important enough to be attacked)

Tell your country to go back to worrying about it's bugs.

[Kitsa]

You guys are gonna get terrorised as.

This.

[Zhukov]

The funny thing is, your country was the first that pussied out earlier and decided to declare itself under "high-alert," right now your government has it's embassies under lock down, extra security added to it's airports, police taking "precautions", and sent out official warnings to all citizens urging them not to travel internationally and to avoid public places -- despite the fact that you guys are your own continent, are on the other side of the planet, and have had absolutely nothing to do with anything, you still feel the need to jump in and become self-proclaimed targets. Like what, the big bad al qaeda terrorists are going to come after you because you're white?

I think your government is a giant attention-whore, and the fact that it felt it was appropriate to issue such warning tells me that your country is likely full of delusional drama queens. You are right though, despite the hysteria, you are quite safe, (I mean really, you're not even important enough to be attacked)

Tell your country to go back to worrying about it's bugs.

Elx you have mistaken me for someone who cares what their government looks like to the international community; they are idiots and crooks in worse ways than this. Being overly cautious is hardly much fodder for scathing political satire, to be honest.

For the record, several terrorist attacks have been aimed at Australians over the past decade, even with most occurring in neighboring countries. I'd say that a large Australian city would be a better target for Jemaah Islamiyah than, say, an American one.

[elx]

Elx you have mistaken me for someone who cares what their government looks like to the international community; they are idiots and crooks in worse ways than this. Being overly cautious is hardly much fodder for scathing political satire, to be honest.

For the record, several terrorist attacks have been aimed at Australians over the past decade, even with most occurring in neighboring countries. I'd say that a large Australian city would be a better target for Jemaah Islamiyah than, say, an American one.
Oh please. I know what you're trying to do here, and you can't get me that easily. Clearly you have an agenda, and the reason you guys play victim is simply because you don't want to be seen for what you really are. I think you've had a part in this hiding of Osama, you have a large muslim population so it's obvious where your allegiance truly lies. You're just jealous of America because we're bigger and better, you're not even a real western country either, you guys are eastern. Quit pretending to be one of us.

[Zhukov]

We're so far East that we're more Western than you.

[Kitsa]

Indonesia.

[Fathom Zero]

BOOM

BITCH

[Chojin]

This.

implying al qaeda hasn't been trying to kill us since forever

[elx]

Only because you copy us. You even take our America's Next Top Model and watch it on the televisions that we invented as if you have any right. Then when Tyra was about to make a huge announcement you guys stole our thunder and "accidentally" had that whore Sarah Murdoch announce Kelsey as the winner when it was really Amanda. You just wanted the publicity stunt so you could get more attention than our top models, when ours are much prettier. Auster-ALIEN.

[Kitsa]

implying al qaeda hasn't been trying to kill us since forever


They have. But I doubt killing Bin Laden really accomplishes anything. If anything, it's made Pakistan mad as hell at us, since they failed at the little duplicitous thing they had going, and now they've got more trouble on several fronts. I don't imagine the Saudis are too happy either. Also, it's not like Al Qaeda doesn't have any contingency plans or backup authority.

I feel sorry for the woman, the one who was being used as a shield, who got killed. She never had a chance.

[Chojin]

I feel sorry for the woman, the one who was being used as a shield, who got killed. She never had a chance.

uh, i don't. wtf was she doing in osama's final boss lair to begin with? waiting for mario to rescue her?

saudi arabia declared osama a criminal a long time ago, along with pretty much every other nation on the planet. politically, this isn't a bad thing for our relationship with any country.

Also, it's not like Al Qaeda doesn't have any contingency plans or backup authority.

so if i understand you correctly, we shouldn't kill any terrorists because there's more than one of them? makes sense :|

[Kitsa]

I don't like talking about politics. But anyway, my own theory, which amounts to maybe a hill of beans minus a pound or two, is that there were many double-dealings in which various middle eastern governments told the US one thing while they did another. I don't think that's a novel, groundbreaking or improbable thing to suppose.
Following that line of thought, it's doubtful that the Saudis or anyone else are going to let us in on how they really feel about all of this.

I thought it was perhaps a little embarrassing that we've had so many casualties in various skirmishes in the nooks and crannies of Afghani mountains, when all this time he appears to have been ensconced in relative splendor in some deluxe Pakistani accommodations. It was the final boss lair, yeah, in this particular story, but I don't think that all other members of Al Qaeda will spontaneously crumble and cause us no further problems.

If his death brings anyone any closure, I'm glad for that. And I don't know who the woman was or how she came to be in the boss lair, so I don't have anything further on that. All I have are opinions, same as everyone else.

[Chojin]

I thought it was perhaps a little embarrassing that we've had so many casualties in various skirmishes in the nooks and crannies of Afghani mountains, when all this time he appears to have been ensconced in relative splendor in some deluxe Pakistani accommodations. It was the final boss lair, yeah, in this particular story, but I don't think that all other members of Al Qaeda will spontaneously crumble and cause us no further problems.

imo it's only politics if you involve political parties and their ideologies

i laughed out loud when i had read about the palace they found him in, 30 miles outside of the pakistani capital. like, seriously guys? you didn't think to check prince ali's fortified citadel with the 7 foot thick walls, just a stone's throw outside of the biggest town? i also thought it was a fittingly grandiose stage for a final boss fight. and also funny that 0 americans died in that assault.

at any rate he was a royal fuckwagon and i don't really understand why anyone outside of his junior varsity terrorism team would think it's a shame that he's dead. i didn't agree with any aspect of the iraq war either, aside from sadaam getting his as well. some people just need killing.

[Kitsa]

I agree that he was a royal fuckwagon. The world is teeming with them.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I can't believe MTV hasn't asked Ja-Rule how he feels about the death of Osama Bin Laden yet.

[Tadao]

:pagebrak

[Tadao]

:(

:youngtenderboynipples

[Zhukov]

i also thought it was a fittingly grandiose stage for a final boss fight. and also funny that 0 americans died in that assault.

I'm going to doubt that simply because I feel I must.


Elx I have no idea what you are talking about, but my need to argue tells me that Australia INVENTED the supermodel, so get rooted. :lol

[Zhukov]

Uh, that wasn't meant to sound threatening. :(

[Tadao]

The funny thing is, your country was the first that pussied out

Uh, that wasn't meant to sound threatening. :(

:(

[Fathom Zero]

:lol

[elx]

you'll always be my australian supermodel zhukov :)

[Seven Force]

Looks like someone's filled with brown thunda

from down unda

[Colonel Flagg]

It's nice to know that some on this forum have their priorities in the right place. :)

[Kitsa]

I don't know why, but I am highly skeptical of the whole burial-at-sea thing. Like it sounds like it might not really have happened.

[Seven Force]

It didn't work for megatron and it's not gonna work now

[Get On The Snake]

hey.....

[Tadao]

go away womti

[Seven Force]

He has a really creepy avatar. Even if he isn't womti I hate this person.

[Kitsa]

I also hate the avatar because it debuted just as my mom sat down behind me. That's even worse than pasty nipples.

[Seven Force]

Somebody get the Chris Hansen avatar in here cause he's got some explaining to do.
He needs to have a seat over there.

[Tadao]

Did you laugh as you typed that?

[Tadao]

I bet you did. :sadclownface

[Seven Force]

I'm high so my laughing is incidental to whatever the fuck I post at the time

[Seven Force]

So yes

[Tadao]

:happyclownface

[Seven Force]

You were here from '02? Wow, I never noticed.

[Tadao]

I was never really here. :eek

[Seven Force]

http://i53.tinypic.com/2exu71x.jpg

[Fathom Zero]

Fuck this thread.

N7bwbl6UHU8

[Tadao]

:tendersexyyoungnipplesofaboy

[Seven Force]

Does the thread have sexy nipples? I need to know before I fuck it

[Tadao]

Eric banned them. :(

NSFERIC

http://i799.photobucket.com/albums/yy271/kitsa_for_imockery2/pagebrak4eva.jpg

[Seven Force]

Nobody's safe for Chojin

[Esuohlim]

N7bwbl6UHU8

This is the best thing ever

[Supafly345]

I swear fathom has been somehow stalking my youtube activities. This is like the third video I've favorited to have it appear posted here shortly after by fathom.

[captain516]

Oh shit
this is by that Bart the general guy isn't it?

[LordSappington]

Sometimes I hate the internet.

[WhiteRat]

sevenforce ya gotta see the baby(aim)

[Fathom Zero]

1500 words due in 11 1/2 hours in between two finals for a class I haven't been two about things I don't really know/care about.

I've dug myself a hole only suicide can solve.

[Fathom Zero]

Nevermind, this is going faster than I thought.

It's about rape! :eek

[MarioRPG]

Well, Canada voted in the same party that was found in contempt by the other parties and this time they have a majority government.

[Kitsa]

well, sure, if it's about RAPE.

I don't know that I had a single writing final (and I chose to do the "Intensive Writing" variation of my major), including large term papers, that I didn't do the night before. If not for imminent doom, why bother?

In other news, I have to go vote today. The city's schools want even MORE tax money, yet I have gone to our elementary school to vote for 8 years now and the library has remained virtually unchanged. Exact same books, no computer (not even on the librarian's desk) and, perhaps my biggest problem with all of this, people from the street are just allowed to wander through the school unescorted if they say they're there to vote. I'm not talking about teacher's salaries, I'm talking about a school system that elects to feed a steady stream of money into the high school sports program and leaves the elementary school libraries untouched.

Fun fact: 12 area registered sex offenders live in the apartment complex next door to the school.

[Fathom Zero]

I swear fathom has been somehow stalking my youtube activities. This is like the third video I've favorited to have it appear posted here shortly after by fathom.

The internet is my favorite sport. If I could get gold medals in it, I would. That and I don't have cable or satellite or an aerial for my television.

Oh shit
this is by that Bart the general guy isn't it?

Actually, it's not! :eek Even though the guy uploaded part three to Youtube.

[Seven Force]

Hey Whiterat it's been a while. :) I added you on aim

[Fathom Zero]

Jesus, this paper sucks. Read May & Strikwerda's "Men in Groups: Collective Responsibility for Rape" if you want to get angry. It's just a paper - shouldn't take you long to read.

[Womti]

:(

:youngtenderboynipples



you're a pedophile!

[Tadao]

and?

[Dr. Boogie]

I was screwing around wikipedia and found out the English accent has a name: received pronunciation.

[Tadao]

I can't even pretend to understand that. I feel dumb.

[King Hadas]

Man the weird shit you can learn on wikipedia, just yesterday I learned that Drew Carey served in the Marine corps for six years.

[Seven Force]

I figured with that haircut

[King Hadas]

Jesus, this paper sucks. Read May & Strikwerda's "Men in Groups: Collective Responsibility for Rape" if you want to get angry. It's just a paper - shouldn't take you long to read.
Okay, and where would I read this?

[Seven Force]

Wait, I received an infraction for what now :lol

[Womti]

I can't even pretend to understand that. I feel dumb.

I cabnt even preTEND TO UNDERSRTAND THAT :x

[Esuohlim]

Cork it, womti

[Womti]

just plesase dont basn me Z:tear

[kahljorn]

:rolleyes you're not even close to being spaghetti

[Womti]

whayddyamean? anyway :rolleyes hi

[Seven Force]

ban this chucklefuck Esuohlim

[Seven Force]

For about a few years now I've been trying to figure out how to pronounce that name

[Womti]

how to prounounce what name?

[Seven Force]

:rolleyes

[Womti]

go fuchahoff and eat golden cheerios >:

[Tanuki]

Man, it's been forever since I came back here!

And I came back to ask a stupid question that's been bugging me.

How does a centaur lay down when it sleeps?

[Seven Force]

On top of your mom for $10

[Esuohlim]

YOU PRONOUNCE IT LIKE "MILHOUSE" DUH

[Pentegarn]

Or Thrillho or Milpool

[Pentegarn]

go fuchahoff and eat golden cheerios >:

Holy Christ, even your rage is lame.

[LordSappington]

You noobs can't hold a candle to Johnathon Clement. Come back when you have crippling social impairments >:

[Pentegarn]

You noobs can't hold a candle to Johnathon Clement. Come back when you have crippling social impairments that are entertaining >:

fixed

[Colonel Flagg]

Or Thrillho or Milpool

Or (during March Madness) netuohnav.

[Colonel Flagg]

You noobs can't hold a candle to Johnathon Clement. Come back when you have crippling social impairments >:

:blah

[Seven Force]

Thanks Thrillho

[Seven Force]

Oh somebody already said that. Pretend I said something funny

like all my posts

[Tadao]

:orgasm

[Tadao]

:eek

[Tadao]

:chatter

[Tadao]

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii285/tadao_mockery/PageRack.gif

[Tadao]

:pagebrak

[Tadao]

I want to thank an older Jewish man with a gift, but he doesn't drink. What should I give him?

Serious answers are also welcome.

[elx]

money

[kahljorn]

that one book by Frankl

[Kitsa]

Does he have any other characteristics, apart from Jewishness?

Srsly though I have lots of elderly Jewish relatives and I gots the hookup.

Ten Commandments Sticky Notes (http://www.moderntribe.com/judaica/boutiques/popjudaicafunnyjewishgifts/commandments_sticky_notes)

Money Clip that says "Gelt" (http://www.moderntribe.com/judaica/accessories/gelt_money_clip)

It also sort of makes a big difference, if being Jewish IS his main characteristic, whether we're talking Orthodox or Reform or what because it makes a big difference in how seriously he takes things.

Tzedakah (charity) boxes, Mezuzahs, donations to Chabad.org and stuff like that are all good for a classier gift or someone who wants to take themselves seriously.

If not, there are tons of places online that sell matzo-patterned LET MY PEOPLE GO toilet seat covers.

[kahljorn]

http://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/0807014273/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1304532398&sr=8-1

get him that unless you think he'd be offended by a book about holocaust survivors :O :O its a good book though.

[Tadao]

Well, he is my neighbors dad and I know very little about him. He found on the sidewalk all my medical cards an SS card and returned it to me. That would have sucked to replace. I asked his son if he drank and he said no and then I expressed that I wanted to give him a thank you present and the were all "no it was nothing don't worry about it". That didn't help at all. :(

Things I know about him.

He's about 65 Y.O.
He recognizes the holidays but I think that's the extent of it.
He's from New York.
I don't think he eats pork.
I highly doubt he observes the sabbath.

So he's just your basic every day New York Jew living in Los Angeles. The only problem I have is that I don't know his level of humor. That's why I'm kinda looking for something that's traditional, but I didn't see anything when I googled it. He is also moving back to N.Y. in 2 weeks. If all else fails I'll buy him a card, but I wanted to do something nice since they have been great neighbors.

[Kitsa]

These bookends are relatively tasteful and neutral:

http://www.moderntribe.com/judaica/jewish_home_root/az_bookholders

There's a cool coffee mug that is a ceramic version (http://www.google.com/search?q=pleasure+to+serve+you+mug&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=ie7&rlz=1I7IRFA_en#sclient=psy&hl=en&rls=com.microsoft:en-us%3AIE-SearchBox&rlz=1I7IRFA_en&biw=1659&bih=837&tbm=shop&source=hp&q=we+are+happy+to+serve+you+mug&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&fp=322f6580c95c8bfc) of the "We are Happy to Serve You" cups that are all over NYC...it's pretty neat...

Not sure exactly how much you want to spend, though. You could look for something that says "Ahava" in Hebrew, which is sort of the same word that means either "love" or "give". I have an Ahava necklace, but it might be weird giving something that could mean "love" to a guy.

I dunno, you might want to just look for a generic 65-year-old-man gift, rather than assume that because he's Jewish he walks around in tallit (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tallit) and that's all there is to him.

Here are a couple more fairly reliable Jewish gift sites:

http://www.judaicawebstore.com/CategoryN.aspx?CategoryId=11

http://www.judaism.com/chabadstore.asp?cdo=chabad.org

Almost every local synagogue store I know of either redirects to or orders most of their stuff from that one.

You can also get a coffee table book of work by a Jewish artist, like Chagall (http://www.amazon.com/Marc-Chagall-1887-1985-Painting-Poetry/dp/3822859907).


Hope that info was serious and useful enough for you.

[Fathom Zero]

I think the NY angle would be an easier play, with less risk. The coffee mug is nice.

[Tadao]

Yeah, I think you're right Kitsa/FZ. Better just go with the 65 yo avenue since I have no idea how jewy he is. I'll have a look at Cost Plus/World Market first.

[Pentegarn]

money

I'm mad because I didn't get to type that first :lol

[Seven Force]

Why don't you just ask Mr. Burbank what he wants? :lol

[Pentegarn]

So he's just your basic every day New York Jew living in Los Angeles.

Isn't there a place in LA than imports water from NYC so they can make authentic NYC bagels?

If so get him gift certificates to there

[Tadao]

Oh man, that would be awesome, except he is moving in 2 weeks. Maybe I can just buy the bagels and have some for myself. Any idea on what the name of the bagel shop is?

[Tadao]

Is it The Original Brooklyn Water Bagel Co.?

http://www.brooklynwaterbagels.com/location.php

[LordSappington]

http://www.ajewishgift.com/
If subtlety isn't a virtue of yours...

[Ex Leper]

Just bought two boxes full of old issues of Starlog Magazine. :rock

[Kitsa]

I've just had the second book "purchase" I've made on ebay go bad within a single month. I think I'm buying the book, I pay for it, then in an hour or so they refund my money and say "Sorry, we didn't have it." How are they allowed to list it if they never had it?

[Ex Leper]

That happened to me on Amazon a few times as well.

[kahljorn]

I've just had the second book "purchase" I've made on ebay go bad within a single month. I think I'm buying the book, I pay for it, then in an hour or so they refund my money and say "Sorry, we didn't have it." How are they allowed to list it if they never had it?

HOW IS GREYHOUND ALLOWED TO SELL TICKETS THEY NEVER HAD GOD DAMNIT

amazon has uhh amagaybies

[Pentegarn]

Is it The Original Brooklyn Water Bagel Co.?

http://www.brooklynwaterbagels.com/location.php

I believe so yes

[Pentegarn]

I've just had the second book "purchase" I've made on ebay go bad within a single month. I think I'm buying the book, I pay for it, then in an hour or so they refund my money and say "Sorry, we didn't have it." How are they allowed to list it if they never had it?

That happens to me on board games a lot when i try and buy them via amazon

[kahljorn]

Wait wait i got it.

Amazon's a woman.

IM A MISOGYNIST NOW.

[Tadao]

:eek

[Tadao]

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii285/tadao_mockery/PageRack.gif

[Tadao]

:pagebrak

[Tadao]

I would rack up so much credit debt on a cocaine card.

[Tadao]

Pram Maven http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/statusicon/user_online.gif
Private Messaging @ 08:27 AM

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[Seven Force]

Oh that asshole is still here? :mad :irony

[Tadao]

He's pissed that if you google pram maven his negative thread about him was #2 and he threatened legal action if it wasn't removed. So Chojin put it in back ups and some of us have our sigs linked to said thread to keep it at #1.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Tadao, you should get him a Dodgers baseball cap.

[Tadao]

Which kind, the one were I put my steel toe boot ino his face and he goes into a coma?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:0

I meant because he was from new york and also moved to los angeles. Maybe get him a Dodgers back of the head hat.

[Tadao]

Oh, I thought you were talking about Pram Maven.

:eek

[MarioRPG]

Yeah, that connection wasn't very clear to begin with.

[Kitsa]

Give him Pram Maven. Dressed like the Gimp, maybe.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:lol My bad. I was a page behind. I saw Prom Maven came back again....threatening legal action. I know a good lawyer if he files suit.

http://runesoup.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/bob-loblaw1.jpg

[Pentegarn]

Oh, I thought you were talking about Pram Maven.

:eek

No, get him a Giants cap.

Then Dodgers fans will beat him into a coma (http://www.newser.com/story/115513/los-angeles-offers-10000-reward-for-suspects-in-beating-of-giants-fan-in-coma.html)

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:lol Good luck finding that guy. The sketch looks like they just used a hispanic face template.

[Tadao]

That's what little S.F. fag holes get for wearing a Giants Jersey to opening day in L.A.

[Pentegarn]

:lol Good luck finding that guy. The sketch looks like they just used a hispanic face template.

That was my exact thoughts when I saw that sketch

[Babs]

Today was a big day for me. I took a shit at my works public restroom.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

That's my favorite part of getting work is shitting on the clock.

edit: fixed

[Seven Force]

I bet you fucking ruin whatever toilet you use babs

[MLE]

Actually, I'm the one that put it in thread backups and PMed him to let him know we acquiesced to his request. Choj is the one that made it public on the forum.

[Seven Force]

Sorry I missed it. That must have been fun.

[Tadao]

Oh, well then fuck Eric.

[MLE]

Nah, s'alright. I'm the one that made sure he didn't have an edit button so that when he inevitably did dumber and dumber things in a vain attempt to get his stuff deleted, it would be written in stone for all posterity.

[Chojin]

from my pm box!

Subject: Legal options

Hey Chojin, this has gone far enough.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=off&biw=621&bih=494&q=Pram+maven&aq=f&aqi=g1g-v7&aql=&oq=

My brand a a professional entertainer is suffering, here. If I have to, I will sue i-mockery.com for libel. I've talked to a cop, and he thought there was enough evidence for a civil case.

Trash-talking someone on a messageboard is one thing, but ruining an innocent person's livelihood is something else. SO IS INTERCEPTING ANY ATTEMPT TO PREVENT IT. That's not a line I would ever cross, myself.

As you can see, Cjadthenord was not above it:

In defense of i-mockery, all you did was prevent me from removing information that hurt my reputation, and then banned me when I complained.

He went so far as to create a myspace page about it:

http://www.myspace.com/564256546

Either way, none of you are safe from the legal justice system and all of this has been documented and will be used as evidence against you. If both sites are not swiftly removed, I will take all parties concerned to civil court for damages.


-Don

My official response:

eat a dick

-Chojin, accredited internet lawyer

[MLE]

It's not libel if he's the one that posted his idiocy of his own free will to begin with, but facts aren't going to get in the way of JUSTICE now will it.

[MLE]

Also, in his attempt to get attention over this, he's broken a few rules and guidelines too.

[Chojin]

Subject: Legal options

Hey Chojin, this has gone far enough.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=off&biw=621&bih=494&q=Pram+maven&aq=f&aqi=g1g-v7&aql=&oq=

My brand a a professional entertainer is suffering, here. If I have to, I will sue i-mockery.com for libel. I've talked to a cop, and he thought there was enough evidence for a civil case.

Trash-talking someone on a messageboard is one thing, but ruining an innocent person's livelihood is something else. SO IS INTERCEPTING ANY ATTEMPT TO PREVENT IT. That's not a line I would ever cross, myself.

As you can see, Cjadthenord was not above it:

In defense of i-mockery, all you did was prevent me from removing information that hurt my reputation, and then banned me when I complained.

He went so far as to create a myspace page about it:

http://www.myspace.com/564256546

Either way, none of you are safe from the legal justice system and all of this has been documented and will be used as evidence against you. If both sites are not swiftly removed, I will take all parties concerned to civil court for damages.


-Don

PR4M 1 D1D NOT R34L1Z3 YOU H4D SUCH 4 P4SS1ON FOR L4W 3NFORC3M3NT

1 MUST S4Y TH1S SHOCK1NG D3V3LOPM3NT 1S COM1NG D4NG3ROUSLY CLOS3 TO G1V1NG M3 4 C4S3 OF TH3 V4PORS >:O

[Seven Force]

More like spam maven

[Seven Force]

holy shit i didnt know he posted today :lol

what a dumb asshole

[MLE]

You haven't missed it all! Stick around for our exciting conclusion after this important message!

[Chojin]

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4ow2Juu7nMo/SaRUEEQuGTI/AAAAAAAAOrE/aJg7oB6xv7g/s400/BigBossman005.jpg

OH SHIT
RUN YOU GUYS

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

: lol

[MLE]

Also, he's too busy constantly reloading his new complainy thread to notice that we're talking about him here. But he's not obsessed.

[Tadao]

:danny'snipples

[MLE]

I didn't think we had Danny's nipples! Only Dylans!

[Grislygus]

oh my fucking God, how is he not over this


NOBODY'S that stupid and lifeless, it's impossible.

[Tadao]

I didn't think we had Danny's nipples! Only Dylans!

Whenever I think of young boy nipples Danny's name is foremost on my mind.

[MLE]

hahahahahahahahah

[Fathom Zero]

DON'T THEY ALWAYS

[Chojin]

i have never understood why people with diagnosed and accepted mental disorders don't just take other peoples' word for it when they're called stupid

i mean if i knew i was retarded and someone was like "hey you're being retarded right now," i'd be like

"yeah, that sounds about right"
"guess i'll stop that"

[MLE]

It's a shame he won't look in any thread but his own for this valuable feedback.

[MLE]

THAT BEING SAID it's time for bed now. What a happy ending.

[Seven Force]

I'd like to think the mentally ill can't tell they're being retarded because they're mentally ill, otherwise we wouldn't be having this problem

[Chojin]

I'd like to think the mentally ill can't tell they're being retarded because they're mentally ill, otherwise we wouldn't be having this problem

well yeah but if someone knows they're mentally ill and someone else clues them in on their current behavior

idk, why wouldn't you just assume they're correct

to bring this example full circle

"i have been diagnosed with the ass pies and i am upset about this internet forum thread"
"that is stupid and you are stupid"
"preposterous"

whyyyyy wouldn't you be like "WOAH TIME OUT WAIT AFTER ALL I AM SOCIALLY RETARDED, PERHAPS THIS PERSON WHO ISN'T RETARDED IS CORRECT"

these are the mysteries that keep me up at night

[MLE]

Oh

[Fathom Zero]

I can't remember brushing my teeth today, yesterday, or the day before. I taste blood.

[executioneer]

man i knew making that myspace would pay off

[Pub Lover]

'Tadao is clearly the alpha male here ...'

I think Pub should have something to say about that. :eek

That T should show us his dick? :eek

[Pub Lover]

Try to remeber though, when a person is acting like a little homosexual, I will useally call them gay.

Asking to see dicks isn't gay, apparently. :eek

[Tadao]

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii285/tadao_mockery/PageRack.gif

[Pub Lover]

oh man, I hope you guys start updating your respective loveline threads again, that stuff is so funny :(

My loveline thread is up to date through to 2052. :eek