I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[kahljorn]

did imockery get hacked or something

lol

[kahljorn]

NO SOPA

[kahljorn]

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT SOPAS

[Esuohlim]

NOPE-A

[Esuohlim]

So I pretty much spent my anti-SOPA day making fun of my faggot friends for being such activists about it. Lame

[kahljorn]

who the hell would be an anti sopas activist

those things are damned good

[Guitar Woman]

I regret putting my name on the online petition because WHAT IF IT WAS ORCHESTRATED BY CONGRESS SO THEY KNOW WHO TO SHOOT!?!?

Also what is with congress and urinating on the bill of rights lately, goddamn

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

did imockery get hacked or something

lol

hacked by cogswell

[Kitsa]

I would have sworn your kis was only a month younger than mine. :\

OH, my kid. Yes, my kid's birthday is next week. I'm sorry. Thank you.

[elx]

the internet is so wack these days, it's like everyone is doing what i used to do and now i have nothing new to do because i dont wanna do what they all do so what do i do

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I nominate myself

[Esuohlim]

I miss geocities and flash games internet. This current age of icanhascheezburger internet can suck it.

Half of the people I know were all worried about how they were all going to pass the time if reddit disappeared. I've been on reddit maybe twice in my life. I am seriously constantly acting like some sort of online geezer because I hate memes and that's the only thing everyone's interested in these days. >:

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

stickdeath <3

[Esuohlim]

Fuck yeah stickdeath. Zug zug zug zug zug.

Bored.com still exists and it looks like SHIT, but half the content appears to be related to killing stickmen so I can still get behind it I suppose

[Babs]

I miss Geocities too. I used to make sites that were basic plagarism of maddoxs website. Those were the days.

I missed Yall during the anti fupa protest.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Fuck yeah stickdeath. Zug zug zug zug zug.

Bored.com still exists and it looks like SHIT, but half the content appears to be related to killing stickmen so I can still get behind it I suppose

I still need to level up my guy in the battle arena. Its been a long time since he got any xp.

[Zomboid]

I miss geocities and flash games internet. This current age of icanhascheezburger internet can suck it.

Half of the people I know were all worried about how they were all going to pass the time if reddit disappeared. I've been on reddit maybe twice in my life. I am seriously constantly acting like some sort of online geezer because I hate memes and that's the only thing everyone's interested in these days. >:

Same here, braw. It's pretty bad when I can't go on Facebook without being assaulted by memes from people who are just now discovering them. The "awkward moment when..." shit is reeeally getting annoying.

[elx]

does anyone even enjoy facebook? everything on there is aggravating. It's like the same people that you like in person suddenly become the people you want to punch on the internet..

[Zomboid]

It can be pretty fun, at times. I enjoy making fun of people that I'm "friends" with, but not really friends with. Even that can get depressing after a while, though, when more than half of your friends are clearly deeply stupid and can't even make a status update without several glaring errors.

[Esuohlim]

While most people I know are incredibly boring or nauseatingly upbeat, a very surprising few of them are actually infuriatingly stupid. That helps. And the stupid ones I either block or fuck with.

Whenever something huge happens like SOPA or Steve Jobs dying my first instinct is to make fun of it or make fun of everyone's response about it. The problem now is that everyone's so used to it that NOBODY gives me shit anymore when I do it :(

[Zomboid]

Yeah, I frequently get the "OH, ANOTHER SMARTASS COMMENT FROM LUC BIG SURPRISE!" I've deleted several people recently just because I can't help making fun of them and I don't even remember when or why we last spoke in person.

[Mockery]

Social media simultaneously helps and hurts web sites. It's great for getting word out about new material 'n all, but most people LIVE on those social media sites. Before those sites existed, people would hang out on all kinds of random web sites to explore them more. Now, sites like mine are dinosaurs on the Internet, and more and more of them are dying off all the time. New people pop in to read an article or whatever they saw linked to on Facebook or something, but then they immediately return to Facebook rather exploring those sites any further.

More and more classic sites are shutting down and people are just making posts on social media sites rather than having something of their own, and I don't get it. But I realize I'm also just getting older, cuz I also hate that video rental stores are shutting down everywhere. I hate seeing book stores shutting down. I hate seeing music stores shutting down. I hate that there aren't enough arcades.

It's like the Internet is determined to keep people indoors 24/7 to ensure that they have no real world social experiences.

No thank you.

Get off my lawn.

[Zomboid]

I can see that happening. If I really think about it, I spend most of my time online at one of these places:
- The AV Club
- Here
- Facebook
- Checking email
- Netflix
- Youtube (if nothing else, I use it just to listen to music at work)
- web comics (well, two of 'em)

And then there's a little bit of time spent reading actual articles on sites like I-Mock and XE, but even then, I only seem to really do that around special times like Halloween and Christmas.

[ThrashO]

Im usually on here or Facebook being a troll, but mostly if I'm on the internet I like to eBay old rare retro stuff (games/vinyls) that I wish I could own.

Or porn.

[Zomboid]

MILHOUSE, I BET WE'D BE THE BEST OF FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK! :D

[Esuohlim]

More and more classic sites are shutting down and people are just making posts on social media sites rather than having something of their own, and I don't get it. But I realize I'm also just getting older, cuz I also hate that video rental stores are shutting down everywhere. I hate seeing book stores shutting down. I hate seeing music stores shutting down. I hate that there aren't enough arcades.

That first sentence says it exactly. Back in the geocities days (and including all those other terrible free web hosting sites) there was a certain charm to everything because people were learning basic html and putting their own ideas out there. Now everyone just goes "hey look what I found" on facebook so that people can go "huh, cool" and it's just an endless cycle of uncreativity.

I don't know if it's getting older as much as it's losing your capacity for accepting change, which probably does come with age but I feel completely different in this respect from everybody in my age group. When you're a kid you don't care when shit changes, you even love it, but I'm in my mid-20s and I already find it extremely hard to give a shit about new trends and technology. My phone is from 2006, my TV is from the 90s, I only have a new laptop because my old one broke but I got cheapest fucking thing I could find and it still has more features and hard drive space than I care to ever use.

But it definitely sucks that video rental stores and bookstores are becoming obsolete. The internet, from my vantage point, is pretty damn awful and I honestly question how much I would really care if SOPA passed.

[Esuohlim]

MILHOUSE, I BET WE'D BE THE BEST OF FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK! :D

JUST LIKE HOW WE'RE ALREADY BEST FRIENDS HERE :lol

[Zomboid]

AW, BRO! :( WE COULD MAKE COMMENTS ON EACH OTHER'S STATUSES AND HIT ON EVERY RANDOM GIRL THAT COMMENTS. I COULD EXPLAIN IT BY SAYING "THAT'S MY AMERICAN FRIEND," AND YOU COULD DO THE SAME, ONLY DIFFERENT.

[kahljorn]

DIGITAL MARXISSSTTTs

[kahljorn]

man i forgot how much running out of weed sucks

[Rongi]

man i forgot how much running out of weed sucks

lol :(. if you're desperate, don't smoke any of that synthetic gas station weed i've heard it's pretty awful. i have a big fat nug in my room right now, i'm gonna go smoke some weed and go buy a nice winter coat. being a middle class white person rules

I think part of the reason why the internet is so boring now is because more people use it. It's had this homogenizing effect where accessing entertainment has become easy enough for my mother to do it. The internet used to be more like the wild west, except populated almost exclusively by weirdos. Now nothing is really "weird" anymore, it's all safe enough to entertain errbody

[Chojin]

But it definitely sucks that video rental stores and bookstores are becoming obsolete. The internet, from my vantage point, is pretty damn awful and I honestly question how much I would really care if SOPA passed.

tbh all SOPA would do to the internet is destroy domain names, which might actually be an improvement because then the good parts of the internet could go back to being elitist circlejerks. I do love me a good elitist circlejerk. Of course the more sinister aspect of SOPA is what it represents and the precedent it would set.

[Rongi]

I don't really give a hoot that video rental stores are disappearing. I don't even particularly care that DVDs/Blu-Ray may be obsolete soon. With the invention of netflix and all those streaming websites, I have a much wider variety to choose from than I did from my local blockbuster.

[kahljorn]

ol :(. if you're desperate, don't smoke any of that synthetic gas station weed i've heard it's pretty awful.i just got hooked up so fat.. gota free gram basically plus my friend got a free gram too.
i hit my pipe last night and there was enough resin in it to get stoned without scraping it.

[Esuohlim]

Sam deleted me on facebook :lol

[kahljorn]

ItS OK tHIngS WILL WORK OUT

[Esuohlim]

I HOPE SO WE WERE BOTH CONSTANTLY UNDER-THE-TABLE PICKLING EACH OTHER BACK IN THE DAY :(

[kahljorn]

well maybe next time you should pickle his face

book

more often

[Rongi]

i just got hooked up so fat.. gota free gram basically plus my friend got a free gram too.
i hit my pipe last night and there was enough resin in it to get stoned without scraping it.

damn son you got some generous friends.

ugh i hate scraping my bowl for resin. honestly i think most of that high is just from inhaling excessive amounts of butane. unless of course you haven't cleaned your bowl in forever and you've just got this sludgy resin chillin in your piece, hit that and you can get pretty stoned.

[kahljorn]

yea i dont clean my pipe very often and usually when i do its to get stoned on the resin.

It WAS A GIRL

MAYBE SHE LIKED ME ;) ;)

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

.
I saw you on an episode of psych today.

[dextire]

Was he the corpse?

[Sam]

Sam deleted me on facebook :lol

LIMITED PROFILE, SON. KNOW YOUR PLACE.

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SEEN BREAKFAST CLUB SO MANY TIMES.

[Esuohlim]

DESTROYED BY MY OWN HUBRIS :(

[Esuohlim]

I saw you on an episode of psych today.

Was I holding up a bank?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:lol You were holding up a bank.

[Otto]

Cannabis edibles are a fun idea at a shitty hick flea market. I don't think that blue-haired oldster will ever quite figure out why I was laughing so much.

[Rongi]

guys i'm 21 years old, 3 and a half years deep into college, at my third college and i still have no fucking idea what to major in

i thought psychology was cool until i found out literally no one takes psychology majors seriously and with good reason, most psychology students are shallow and stupid

i would major in environmental studies because apparently there's a market for that major and i guess saving the world would be cool but studying the environment sounds incredibly gay and boring

i don't think i'm smart enough to do hard science/math/engineering

economics and finance are fucking boring and classes are full of bros and girls that fuck bros

i like sociology and anthropology but i might as well major in "i wanna suck dicks behind a dumpster for the rest of my life"

i like philosophy too but see above

[Zomboid]

You're only 21? NEWS TO ME :lol

[Rongi]

unless i decide to go to law school, then i can pretty much major in any stupid liberal arts and it won't really matter

[Rongi]

You're only 21? NEWS TO ME :lol

fuck you, don't canadians get free college or something

faggots

[Esuohlim]

Sounds like you're going to college not because you want to but because you feel like you have to

[Rongi]

That's not entirely true. I came to Binghamton to get an education, and I learned a whole hell of a lot my first semester. I analyze things much differently, my thinking is more organized. I genuinely enjoyed learning German (something I wish I could minor in but I don't really have the time or money), biological concepts and my course on gangs in the US was enlightening. Even parts of my class on drugs were interesting, although on the whole I thought the class was kind of a waste of time (To give you a picture of how much of a joke this class was, i barely studied for the final and skipped class pretty much on a regular basis due to in being at 8:30AM. I somehow ended up with an A- )

i've made some cool friends and did some cool hallucinogens too, but that's besides the point

i'm at the point in my life where i have to decide what the fuck i should do. things I LIKE to study (literature, psychology, philosophy, anthropology, sociology) are not marketable. i'm vaguely entertaining the notion of going to law school, but that's a pretty heavy commitment with crazy high tuition and not much a guarantee that i'll be employed. not to mention how hard it is to get into law school. also, i've read that the majority of lawyers are fairly miserable people

i dunno, man. sometimes i wish the world really will end in December just so i don't have to make these kinds of decisions

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

yeah, besides that there was the punk chick at binghampton. What happened with that. If she is single we should hang out. If she isn't then we should hang out with her single friends.

[Rongi]

I haven't talked to punk chick since i came home. i think i fucked up that situation irreparably by playing it safe when i should have been more aggressive and by being too aggressive when i should have played it safe

basically i am a pussy and i hate myself

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

you better get back to college and school her in the degree of getting fucked by rongi's dick. Play some power chords. Profess your dick to her. Chicks like that.

[Rongi]

i'll serenade her with my semen

[Zomboid]

fuck you, don't canadians get free college or something

faggots

Nope. Well, natives might.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

fuck the natives. then fuck the punk chick.

[Zhukov]

Oh wow racism.

Education used to be free here, too.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

IF THE SLAVE TRADE NEVER HAPPENED THERE WOULD BE NO RAP MUSIC

[Babs]

Slaves used to be free here.

[stevetothepast]

do black peoples use the internet?

[Tadao]

I'm trying to download things illegally and everyone keeps shutting down. :(

BEAT IT MAN, IT'S THE FEDS!

[kahljorn]

so.. my school screws me again.
Dropped one of my classes for no reason, wouldn't let me reregister. Says I was waitlisted for one class, but i wasn't. now im fucked.
prolly wont even be able to transfer in the fall.

same school that fucked me out of my financial aid.

good thing im high >:

[kahljorn]

its like some kind ofbug where i cant reregister for this class

[ThrashO]

do black peoples use the internet?

http://www.worldstarhiphop.com

[Shyandquietguy]

It's a good thing you have no real positive reputation on these boards.

[ThrashO]

roflmao

[Tadao]

Has Thrasho evolved since he started or is this pretty much it?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

He's obviously gotten better in taste. Look how many pickles he thinks of me.

[Tadao]

I DECLARE HIS SIG SIZE TO BE ILLEGAL

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

YO, LEMME GET THAT QUEEN WHILE WE'RE AT IT.

[Tadao]

Go for it ;)

[Guitar Woman]

Has Thrasho evolved since he started
yes

[Esuohlim]

He evolved into Thrashotops

faggots

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

gonna be totally lame but coughing should never be allowed evolve.

[Shyandquietguy]

roflmao


Alright, do you mind explaining to me what your reply to Stevetothepast was about?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

http://www.avclub.com/articles/an-evening-with-the-cast-and-crew-of-the-adventure,68249/

Pete and Pete cast reunion show in NYC next month.

[All Hail Duke]

http://www.avclub.com/articles/an-evening-with-the-cast-and-crew-of-the-adventure,68249/

Pete and Pete cast reunion show in NYC next month.

oh shit

[Esuohlim]

http://www.avclub.com/articles/an-evening-with-the-cast-and-crew-of-the-adventure,68249/

Pete and Pete cast reunion show in NYC next month.

I'll see your news and raise you THIS

SuHmEo0Bx7Q

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o

Those weren't copypastes....

I a was in an especially fuck you mood before I watched that but I'm turned around.

I see the light.

[Zomboid]

I'll see your news and raise you THIS


HOLY FUCKING SHIT! BEST NEWS SO FAR THIS YEAR!

[Tacobot]

http://www.avclub.com/articles/an-evening-with-the-cast-and-crew-of-the-adventure,68249/

Pete and Pete cast reunion show in NYC next month.

i'm such an ass for missing that when it was in LA.
<---idiot

[ThrashO]

Alright, do you mind explaining to me what your reply to Stevetothepast was about?

I do mind actually.

[Shyandquietguy]

You would. :lol

[Guitar Woman]

so I kissed a lady and she used her tongue

what is the point of doing this? because it doesn't really feel that pleasant or taste like anything, there's just a slimy flavorless tongue in your mouth

actually it's kinda gross

[Guitar Woman]

:\

[Esuohlim]

I actually have like 8 different things I want to say and none of them make fun of you enough.

[Esuohlim]

ok, so i guess i'll be serious then

Don't you already know you're asexual? It's like if someone who could only see the world in shades of grey looked at a rainbow and was all like "WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL :smug"

[Esuohlim]

Because rainbows are fucking beautiful man

[Guitar Woman]

I don't know, I thought I was asexual, but I might just be afraid of actually acting on my sexual/romantic urges because I think it'd be an unmitigated disaster; so far the three times I've had lapses in sanity and done it have been

There's another weirdo orientation you can be called "demisexual," which basically means you only care about boning people you have a strong emotional connection to; I'm not sure if that sounds closer to me than "jerk who'd only have sex so the other person won't dump their ass," but it's a possibility. I'd have to actually get into a relationship to figure out which one, though, so that's never happening.

(also there's a difference between being asexual and aromantic; you can be both, but I'm not)

[kahljorn]

i thought that said aromatic and i was like what

[Guitar Woman]

I'm that too, bitch I smell like cookies

[Zhukov]

Tongue is the best; it turns me on the most, I think.

If you don't like it then don't do it, but I have a feeling that you might just need to find the right person to experience it with. I don't give any weight to this 'demisexual' business, that's just called having high standards.

Find a person you really, really like and then get back to us.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

You use your tongue in their throat to widen it.

[kahljorn]

i dont see what the big deal about cheeseburgers is

also i dont have a mouth

[elx]

the last dude that kissed me had a tongue technique similar to the one that my ex used when he would go down on me, it was so wrong and awful when it's being done to your face!

although I think I complained here once about how gross ear/neck kisses were, right? and then I learned to like them, they went from being all slobbery and loud to being warm and relaxing. it's all about who you're with. so I would listen to zhukov's advice, and try it again when you find somebody who doesn't repulse you.

[elx]

speaking of sex since we're talking about sex, does anybody know anybody that has ever had a fuck buddy? is that an actual practice or one of those fictional unattainable ideas?

[Colonel Flagg]

You use your tongue in their throat to widen it.

You use your tongue purtier than a twenty dollar whore.

[Rongi]

speaking of sex since we're talking about sex, does anybody know anybody that has ever had a fuck buddy? is that an actual practice or one of those fictional unattainable ideas?

uh the girl i lost my virginity to was basically a fuck buddy. after getting to know her and her craziness, i didn't want to date her. but i also didn't want to stop having sex. she wasn't interested in dating either, so we just hung out a lot and had sex. It was unfulfilling and weird, but i figured it would be good experience for when i eventually meet someone i like/care about. also, it was sex and even bad sex is ok. She eventually got emotionally attached and i cut contact with her. if this sounds callous, consider this: she once convinced me for three days that i got her pregnant and that she was going to keep the baby. on the third day she told me she was only testing me. after that i decided not to talk to her anymore

i don't really enjoy sex unless it's with someone i have an emotional attachment to. so maybe i am that demisexual thing

but i haven't had sex in a really long time. i'm basically convinced that i am not what girls my age are looking for. i would probably be better off devoting my energies to studying and getting in shape. but working out just makes me more sexually frustrated. i sincerely wish that i could take medication to get rid of my libido. so much this libido interferes with my life

[Zhukov]

speaking of sex since we're talking about sex, does anybody know anybody that has ever had a fuck buddy? is that an actual practice or one of those fictional unattainable ideas?


I just finalised the paper-work on a fuck buddy in the last few days, actually. We were good friends, and I always had a bit of a crush on her, she got drunk one night and discovered that she had a crush on me too., and ended up having a casual fling. I eventually realised I preferred her company to the sex, and thought I had better end it before she got too attached and someone got hurt. It probably wasn't going to happen that way, but I was worried.

So we were both pretty happy to just be friends again, because the worry was causing me to not enjoy the sex, I think, and she admitted to getting too hung up on a relationship, even though she didn't actually want one. It was a mutual thing.

I thought that was the end of it until a few days ago we were talking about neither of us had a problem with friends who just had sex, and she suggested we try it with no strings attached.

I'll let you know how it goes, if you are that interested. We're both pretty laid back and non-crazy emotional people, and I think that's what you need for it to work.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

I just finalised the paper-work on a fuck buddy in the last few days, actually. We were good friends, and I always had a bit of a crush on her, she got drunk one night and discovered that she had a crush on me too., and ended up having a casual fling. I eventually realised I preferred her company to the sex, and thought I had better end it before she got too attached and someone got hurt. It probably wasn't going to happen that way, but I was worried.

So we were both pretty happy to just be friends again, because the worry was causing me to not enjoy the sex, I think, and she admitted to getting too hung up on a relationship, even though she didn't actually want one. It was a mutual thing.

I thought that was the end of it until a few days ago we were talking about neither of us had a problem with friends who just had sex, and she suggested we try it with no strings attached.

I'll let you know how it goes, if you are that interested. We're both pretty laid back and non-crazy emotional people, and I think that's what you need for it to work.

Man, don't let it backfire on you. Being fuck buddies is cool and all, and if you stay honest things can go well. But make sure you aren't lying to her, and especially yourself, if you say you just wanna be fuck buddies. There was a girl I had a fling with recently and it was fucking great. No strings attached, we'd fuck and hang out. I actually wound up falling for her pretty hard I guess. But we knew it couldn't last and when she went off to U of I it was decided that "When we're together we're together, and when we're apart, we aren't". When I saw her the next time with another guy in her apartment it hurt a lot more than I thought it would have, and I was angry at her. But really, I only got mad at her for doing what she wanted, which is exactly what I said she could do. So really, I ended up just being pissed at myself..

So don't lie to yourself. If you really are cool with being just fuck buddies and neither of you can get attached, then totally go for it. Just don't wind up shooting yourself in the foot.

We're still cool though.. it panned out. I guess.. if you can say that haha

[kahljorn]

HERES HOW FUCK BUDDY RELATIONSHIPS WORK WItH gIRLS:

things are good, you're not all attached and are just down for the sex
SHE GeTS ALL WEIRD AND ClINgY AND UR LIKE JUST THE SEX BUT SHE KEEPS DOing IT KINDA
then you start to give in SLIGHTLY
then they go CRAZY AND DO SOME DRAMATIC BREAKUP BULLSHIT EVEN THOUGH YOU ARENT DATING
next week you fuck again, and the day after she invites you over and her new boyfriend is over.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

We need a like button here.

[Zhukov]

Aren't you 12 years old, ZBF?

[The Leader]

Like^

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

HERES HOW FUCK BUDDY RELATIONSHIPS WORK WItH gIRLS:

things are good, you're not all attached and are just down for the sex
SHE GeTS ALL WEIRD AND ClINgY AND UR LIKE JUST THE SEX BUT SHE KEEPS DOing IT KINDA
then you start to give in SLIGHTLY
then they go CRAZY AND DO SOME DRAMATIC BREAKUP BULLSHIT EVEN THOUGH YOU ARENT DATING
next week you fuck again, and the day after she invites you over and her new boyfriend is over.

AMEN

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I'll see your news and raise you THIS

SuHmEo0Bx7Q

Found out its for a car commercial only :(

There was a quote on wikipedia though about how broderick wanted to do a sequel and it sounded like a good premise but was also really depressing about the ending.

[Esuohlim]

Found out its for a car commercial only :(

Yeah, I found this out too :( I was hoping for some serious motion picture shenanigans.

[Esuohlim]

VhkDdayA4iA

Still good though

[Tadao]

I'M CALLING SOPA ON YOU

[Esuohlim]

http://i.imgur.com/9WXm1.jpg

[kahljorn]

in case you guys havent heard sopa got called on the chatthread
source: http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showpost.php?p=754457&postcount=84614

is this just the begining of the end in 2012

[Esuohlim]

The chatroom thread is blacked out until Tadao tells SOPA to go home because we don't want to play with bullies

[Zhukov]

Have you tried unlocking it?

[All Hail Duke]

que?

[Zomboid]

ZBF commenting on fuck buddies? Hilarious.

[Zhukov]

:lol

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I bet a bunch of paranoid dyslexics are getting filthy because of this sopa thing.

[kahljorn]

I bet a lot of mexicans are outraged

[darkvare]

why all the hate for mexican soup all of a sudden you guys?

[Tadao]

PAY THE FINE AND YOU CAN HAVE YOUR PRECIOUS THREAD BACK

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I have "I'm in love with Mary Jane" by Coolio stuck in my head. Except instead of Mary Jane its Herman Cain. Herman caaaaaaiiinn.

[Grislygus]

FUCK

[elx]

so does anyone have a turtle

[The Leader]

Turtles are awesome. They're probably my fourth or fifth favorite animal that is green.

[elx]

hey you're awesome where have you been

[elx]

also not too long ago there was this study designed by a researcher named Dr. Kellert for the US Fish and Wildlife service and Yale university ranking american's affection/detailing knowledge of critters, and turtles ranked in at number 11, and cats were 12. dogs were first place for most loved!

this proves that turtles are, infact, cooler than cats

[Esuohlim]

ok this is dumb

Not sure who actually locked it but i'm opening it back up, fuck sopap

[Esuohlim]

I hate all animals except white ducks, they's the bomb


I knew a girl who was obsessed with her turtle but she would make "I LOST MY TURTLE" statuses on facebook twice a week. She clearly didn't deserve a turtle.

[Tadao]

ok this is dumb

Not sure who actually locked it but i'm opening it back up, fuck sopap

HE WHO SMELT IT DELT IT.

[Grislygus]

I bet her roommates killed the turtle and used it as a piece for an organic bong, and she never noticed

"OMG WHERES MY TURTLE"
"the wha?"
"MY TURTLE"
"oooh, fuck, right the turtle. Matt stuck it over there somewhere"
"THERE'S MY TURTLE"

[Esuohlim]

Ohhh shit, what if "turtle" was just code for "bong" all along? :x

[elx]

I knew a girl who was obsessed with her turtle but she would make "I LOST MY TURTLE" statuses on facebook twice a week. She clearly didn't deserve a turtle.
you already told me about her the last time we talked about tortoises. you should steal her turtle and then I will rescue it from you.

[Zhukov]

I rode a giant sea turtle once.

[Babs]

I DINE ON TURTLE SOUP

[Guitar Woman]

ducks rape each other esuohlim

[King Hadas]

that's what makes them feel mighty

[Esuohlim]

that's perfectly ok because it's a known fact that duck rape is appropriate social interaction in the duck community

[kahljorn]

we need duck rape to seal our ventilation shafts

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I hope thats going to be on the new aflac commercial.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

http://popvssoda.com/

ITS POP

[Esuohlim]

I used to think "pop" was strictly a midwest thing, but then I learned that even Canada and the UK call it that. And according to the map practically the entirely northern US does too. So why do they call it "soda" in nearly every movie and TV show? >:

And anyone who calls it "coke" is full-blown retarded

[kahljorn]

i call it soda / coke

>:

also maybe causemost tv shows are made in hollywood which is on the westcoast where they say soda
/ coke >:

[Esuohlim]

fuck you and your coke. Call it something else >: and hollywood can suck 18 ducks >: i mean dicks :lol

[kahljorn]

WHATS YOUR PROBlEM WIth COKE

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

The southerners call everything coke. Sprite is clear coke.

[Esuohlim]

And southerners are dumb. It's a scientific fact so don't argue with science

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I've come to realize making decisions is a lot like basketball. Women are terrible at both.

[Fathom Zero]

I'm back to say I won't be homeless anymore starting next week. Yay.

[kahljorn]

you were homeless?

[Esuohlim]

Is the superbowl just the puppy bowl with humans in it

[Otto]

I think I could zone out to the puppy bowl a lot easier if they didn't have the announcer yelling all the time, like just mic the puppies barking and sniffing and running around.

I just want to get through the spins by staring at dogs, man.

[Phoenix Gamma]

I live in Boston but I'm watching the Puppy Bowl. The pats are probably gonna lose, but the Pups always win. Also, there needs to be a lot more piggy pep squad.

And my own puppy sprained her leg and can't sit down :< She can't lie down without making a loud thump.

[Otto]

When I got my current Jack Russell Terrier from the local SPCA shelter, they had this rule that all animals adopted from there had to spayed/neutered. So they shipped him over to the vet where they neutered him and then I picked him up.

Poor pup was FUCKING still under anesthesia.

He would wobble around before he started barking and then roll over asleep. Or he would start running and then stop, space out, and fall asleep standing up. I really wanted to prop his head up on a stack of books and put like sunglasses and a hat on him and hang cigarettes out the side of his mouth, but I didn't think it would be right to treat him like a passed out friend at a party.

[kahljorn]

man thats such a cute storY :(

all these stories about puppies and bowls is really making me want some chinese food

[Zhukov]

I could go a curry myself. A dog curry, I guess.

[Phoenix Gamma]

:(

[All Hail Duke]

:lol

[Tadao]

:wank

[Aaarg]

cfuck the fpolice

[elx]

as the one person that actually DID watch the puppy bowl, and is not just making jokes about it, I can say that it was really stupid. they weren't even like trained, they literally just ran around and drank water like stupid cats would.

[Zomboid]

SHUT THE FUCK UP, BITCH! THOSE ARE PUPPIES YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!

[Esuohlim]

Facebook has turned into a fucking meme factory. I blame George Takei >:

So since memes are mainstream and popular now does that mean 4chan now hates them? Is that how they work? I sure hope this shit goes away soon.

[elx]

SHUT THE FUCK UP, BITCH! THOSE ARE PUPPIES YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!
LOOKED LIKE A BUNCH OF KITTIES TO ME

[elx]

Facebook has turned into a fucking meme factory. I blame George Takei >:

So since memes are mainstream and popular now does that mean 4chan now hates them? Is that how they work? I sure hope this shit goes away soon.
at least you're out of college and you don't have to see physical copies of them everywheeeeereeeeeee

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

That doesn't even matter. People put them up on the walls at my work. Which is a business. You'll never escape.

[Tadao]

as the one person that actually DID watch the puppy bowl, and is not just making jokes about it, I can say that it was really stupid. they weren't even like trained, they literally just ran around and drank water like stupid cats would.

I take it you didn't watch Puppy Bowl 1 - 7. I like it just fine the way it is. If I wanted to watch trained dogs running up and down a field with a goal in mind, I would have watched the Super Bowl.

:rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes: :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes 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:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes::rolleyes:

[elx]

MILHOUSE I HAVE THE BEST ENGINEERING JOB (http://www.popsci.com/technology/gallery/2012-01/gallery-playgrounds-tomorrow) FOR YOU EVER

[Esuohlim]

I wouldn't mind fungineering some sweet-ass playgrounds. Except I would have twisted ideas like giant playgrounds that look like plane crash wreckage and I would traumatize everyone. :(

[Zhukov]

I laughed, Tadao.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I wouldn't mind fungineering some sweet-ass playgrounds. Except I would have twisted ideas like giant playgrounds that look like plane crash wreckage and I would traumatize everyone. :(

Need to design some MC ESCHER for these kids.

[ThrashO]

anyone else used to climb poles until they climaxed as a kid? ;)

[Tadao]

Meet my next door neighbor.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lumhhaSYMt1qf1116o1_500.jpg

[kahljorn]

I can say that it was really stupid. they weren't even like trained, they literally just ran around and drank water like stupid cats would.what kind of monster are you

LOOKED LIKE A BUNCH OF EQUALLY CUTE THINGS.So since memes are mainstream and popular now does that mean 4chan now hates them?lol meme has become a meme :(

also at my school today i saw an official school endorsed ad that said, "Y u no make ed plan" with the face

[kahljorn]

Meet my next door neighbor.

that guy looks really nice

[Esuohlim]

He looks like he could be 10,000 kV Ghost's older brother

[kahljorn]

holy shit

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

SON OF A BITCH

[ThrashO]

Why do young attractive girls get the middle of there upper lip pierced, their "monroe" pierced, their bottom lips pierced in 3 places and their nose pierced? All at once?

It just looks like this pretty girl has a bunch of zits and trash on her face from 20 feet away.

[Tadao]

Because they are attracted to guys like me.

[Zomboid]

I love dem gurls.

[Zhukov]

It's getting rarer to run into people that don't have tattoos or piercings.

Tattoos aren't so bad (well, it's subjective), but I really don't like piercings. I was with a girl that had five chest dermals, and they were constantly getting caught on things and becoming swollen. She eventually got rid of them, but she passed on the idea to my next girlfriend.

Osmosis or something. They didn't meet.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Osmosed through your dick

[Tadao]

http://surgeries.justsickshit.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/neck-corset-piercing.jpg

[kahljorn]

maybe that kind of piercing would look cool if they weren't decorating their bodies with sequins and other things only 3 year olds and 72 year olds wear

[Zomboid]

Yeah, really. That's kinda gross.

[MarioRPG]

http://surgeries.justsickshit.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/neck-corset-piercing.jpg

Hang on, you've got a loose thread. I'll just give that a tug...

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I want to shove my dick in her butt and watch those pop off her.

[Sam]

JUST THINK HOW INFECTED THOSE PIERCINGS WOULD GET AFTER I TOOK A NICE DUMPER RIGHT BETWEEN HER SHOULDER BLADES.

[Zhukov]

Charmed, I'm sure.


I can't help but think of them being violently ripped out.

[ThrashO]

Sam before you dump let me run a metal pipe under them all and then turn it really fast like a sea captain in a hurricane.

[edit] ps. this was my first serious girlfriend from when I was 17. Shes like 25 now or something in this picture:

http://www.underground-gamer.com/imagebucket/321678_2549804306765_1303579468_2963618_317202878_ n.jpeg

[Esuohlim]

This standup special with the cast of Super Troopers is pretty terrible

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Sam before you dump let me run a metal pipe under them all and then turn it really fast like a sea captain in a hurricane.

[edit] ps. this was my first serious girlfriend from when I was 17. Shes like 25 now or something in this picture:

http://www.underground-gamer.com/imagebucket/321678_2549804306765_1303579468_2963618_317202878_ n.jpeg

Does she have the number of the beast in binary code running down her back?

This standup special with the cast of Super Troopers is pretty terrible

The Slammin Salmon is really funny though.

[ThrashO]

No, it's a phrase that says something like "We all come from filth" or something. I just remember the word "filth" and something about everyone being imperfect.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I don't think Binary code ever starts with a 0 though. Its like saying its 07:30 PM to someone.

[Guitar Woman]

Hey, I installed a browser extension today.

http://www.tannr.com/herp-derp-youtube-comments/

[Chojin]

binary is just a length of toggles that can represent anything. a string of binary can start with a 0 too.

No, it's a phrase that says something like "We all come from filth" or something. I just remember the word "filth" and something about everyone being imperfect.

it's not long enough to be more than one short word.

ascii->binary for "filth": 0110011001101001011011000111010001101000

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

futurama lied to me then.

[kahljorn]

who do you trust futurama or chojin with his worldly knowledge :rolleyes

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

chojin lied to me then.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

also, http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Zuggernaut_(New_Earth)

:lol

[kahljorn]

:lol

[Emu]

I aspire not to be a faggot this year. Not going so well so far. :<

[Emu]

No seriously though I think my job is killing me. It's why I haven't been posting here lately. That and my laptop had a meltdown like 3 weeks ago. But yeah my job.

Basically what I do is I go in and shovel ice into bags to be used to store blood, which has to be kept as cold as possible to avoid spoilage. Anyway though this wouldn't be so bad but for a few things. Namely that the machines I scoop the ice out of are very low to the ground and I am 6'1". I have to spend about 6 hours every day bent at a 45 degree angle and making repetitive wrist movements. Also, I work in the very early morning (usually at 12:00 a.m. - 2 a.m. til about 8 or 9 in the morning) and my schedule is utterly, completely random. It's gotten a bit better, but during the holidays it was not uncommon for me to go in at 4 a.m. one night and then 1 a.m. the next day. I miss the sun.

I also load heavy shit onto trucks in -100 degree weather and that's doing a number on my back as well. I am beginning to wonder if it's worth it at all but I really need the job and I get insurance benefits from it but I'm worried it's coming at the cost of my health. WHAT DO

[kahljorn]

winter's almost over so hopefully itll get better!

[Emu]

I hope so but I still work in the dark so getting warmer isn't really going to help too much until like May :<

[kahljorn]

youll be so miserable you wont even realize that the time flies by until next winter

[Zhukov]

Back problems can lead to a really bad quality of life later on, and some kind of insurance isn't going to be much help down the track when your back is just completely fucked.

If it's bad enough for you to be worried about it, it's probably bad enough for you to look for another job.

[Evil Robot II]

Why dont you use a diferent shovel?

[Emu]

It's not a shovel, actually, it's a hand scoop, basically like the ones used to scoop coffee at the grocer's but bigger. A for reals shovel would be too big to scoop into the bags properly.

[kahljorn]

:lol man that sucks and is also ridiculous as fuck

yuou need one of those grabber things where you push a button and the mouth thing closes.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Like hungry hungry hippos.

[LordSappington]

I just got broken up with. I'm not doing so great guys.

[Esuohlim]

Chin up bro it's Valentine's day!

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c375/Locke9999/Serpentor_v_day.png

[elx]

I want chocolate :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I got you a cholate heart box elx. Its got sponge candy in it.

[kahljorn]

I just got broken up with. I'm not doing so great guys.
she broke up with you on valentines day?

what a cunt move.

[Sam]

YOU FRUIT CUPS.

[Emu]

it takes all kinds of fruits to make fruit cup

[Esuohlim]

BLING BLONG BLING BLONG

[Esuohlim]

BLING BLONG BLING BLONG BLING BLONG BLING BLONG

BLING BLONG BLING BLONG BLING BLONG

STOGIE'S EATING THE COUCH BLING BLONG

BLING BLONG

RANKERI STOGIE'S EATING THE COUCH IT SOUNDS LIKE A GORILLA EATING A LOG CABIN BLING BLONG BLING BLONG

:x

[Aaarg]

life's great you guys are quears


the other day i got high and pulled out a sketchbook to see if anything would come out but eventually my mind was stuck on how much i hate the town i'm living in now because it's all fast food and churches and all of the things i was drawing involved churches or cheeseburgers.

i decided it was time to put the paper away when i drew the sacred heart of jesus replacing the heart with a cheeseburger

[Esuohlim]

Can you post us a picture of that cheeseburger? ;) ;)

[Emu]

There was a pretty old church behind my house that got converted into the largest McDonald's playplace in the 3 nearest counties.

[kahljorn]

mixing religion and cheeseburgers?

banned

also fast foodchurches sound awesome

[Emu]

did willie quit the internet

[Esuohlim]

He quit I-Mock because Chojin was a downer about ponies

[Zomboid]

PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS

[Zomboid]

No meat touching, please!

[Esuohlim]

WEIRDIE BEANS AT WEIRDIE BEANS AT WEIRDIE BEANS AT WEIRDIE BEANS AT

[Emu]

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_la3cipnGCu1qzpam5o1_500.png

I've never seen it written so neatly.

[Kitsa]

I sat next to a table of drunken idiot community college girls this evening. I'm sure that makes them eminently fuckable in someone's book but holy shit were they dumb. They were loud, so everyone got to share in their conversation about tube socks, and one of them kept bragging about her 2.4 GPA. One of them stuck her hand in the fireplace because she didn't believe the flames were real. To make things extra classy, when the mexican waiters came out to sing their birthday song to a guy a couple of tables over, one of them waved her arms and sang BLAH BLAH, BLAH BLAH BLAH BURRIIIIIITO.

[Zhukov]

Didn't believe the flames were real...

[kahljorn]

I sat next to a table of drunken idiot community college girls this evening. I'm sure that makes them eminently fuckable in someone's book

you read my mind :O

[Aaarg]

yesterday i heard somebody exclaim "i'm so hungry i could eat... a dirt sandwich."

[Kitsa]

Ugh.

I was kind of really hoping the waiters spit in their food.

[ThrashO]

at a restaurant id say about 60%-80% of the food will be touched by unwashed hands at some point before it gets to you. It could be as many as 3 people too. The cook, the person traying food, and the server.

I feel bad for people who give a shit about germs.

[Kitsa]

Yeah, my hopes were high because this restaurant had previously been shut down for some exotic Mexican stomach bug infecting a good chunk of the town. Best margaritas on earth, though. I think they pour a whole bottle of cuervo in the blender, and sometimes they serve them with upside-down coronas sticking out of them. I figure I'll drink one of those with my meal and whatever bug makes it through that deserves to go on and duke it out with my immune system.

Usually if I follow my rules (no sour cream, no preservative-soaked meat or lettuce, no pink hamburger), I'm good.

[Babs]

I wish dishes all day and make club sandwhiches for people afterwards. Dishwasher specialty.

[Chojin]

To make things extra classy, when the mexican waiters came out to sing their birthday song to a guy a couple of tables over

i read this as "mexican wrestlers"

[uncaring chimp]

I had lunch at a Mexican resturant today and I spit in my own food, just because I hate myself.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Yeah, my hopes were high because this restaurant had previously been shut down for some exotic Mexican stomach bug infecting a good chunk of the town. Best margaritas on earth, though. I think they pour a whole bottle of cuervo in the blender, and sometimes they serve them with upside-down coronas sticking out of them. I figure I'll drink one of those with my meal and whatever bug makes it through that deserves to go on and duke it out with my immune system.

Usually if I follow my rules (no sour cream, no preservative-soaked meat or lettuce, no pink hamburger), I'm good.

montezuma's revenge

[Kitsa]

I think that was from cracked clay sewer pipes that deliver your drinking water with a twist of cholera, but yeah, something like that.

[Zomboid]

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_UFSyH_weKjI/SeIlKoO9isI/AAAAAAAAAnM/Ny_j5nrRmDU/S660/sc00096304.jpg

[ThrashO]

I wish dishes all day and make club sandwhiches for people afterwards. Dishwasher specialty.

every restaraunt i've worked at there's a big sweaty mexican (or a little sweaty mexican) who washes dishes for about 10 hours a day getting splashed with slop, and then when he transfers the dishes from the dish pit to the cooks he carries them by holding them up against his sweaty body/trash splattered apron.

[Babs]

That was probably me.

[Babs]

All this talk about cracked clay sewer pipes is making me hungry.