I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Pub Lover]

:pagebrak

[Kitsa]

Marie Antoinette was guillotined 216 years ago tomorrow :(

[Zhukov]

The guillotine was invented in Halifax, Yorkshire. 15 000 people are estimated to have been killed by it in France, only Germany has killed more with it - 40 000. The last person killed by guillotine in France was Hanmida Djandoubie for rape and murder in 1977. The death penalty was abolished in France in 1981. It is impossible to accurately guage how long a severed head survives, it is estimated at between five and thirteen seconds.

[Kitsa]

The Halifax Gibbet. I actually had a history professor in a very reputable university not believe me when I mentioned its existence, or that of the Scottish Maiden. I had to bring him books to prove that the devices were real.

If you're into that sort of thing, there's a wonderful and fascinating book with a very inappropriate name: The Pleasures of the Torture Chamber. Mainly it's a very well-written history of torture and public execution, even though the title makes it sound like second-rate Sade.

http://www.amazon.com/Pleasures-Torture-Chamber-John-Swain/dp/1566197724

[Zhukov]

I haven't got a book on torture yet, actually. I want one too large to properly fit on a shelf, with full colour pages.

[Kitsa]

I have a good coffee table book on the history of public executions.

http://www.amazon.com/Public-Executions-Nigel-Cawthorne/dp/0785821198/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1255630358&sr=1-1

[RaNkeri]

that dip between nose and lip

[Supafly345]

http://ny-image1.etsy.com/il_fullxfull.95719465.jpg

[RaNkeri]

A progressive new corporation with an eye towards the future.
A corporation for people, by people

[Kitsa]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philtrum

[Shrubfest]

I live near Halifax.

It's very boring there.

[Fathom Zero]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philtrum

I can speak for the erogenous part, personally.

[Dixie]

i just really really reallly want to sleep right now.

[RaNkeri]

right

[Tadao]

ah come on baby, it'll be over in seconds.

[Chojin]

I can speak for the erogenous part, personally.

But you're so asexual and different

[Fathom Zero]

I dunno why you'd take me seriously. I've never known anything before, why should you assume I'd have started now?

[Kitsa]

anatomy and physiology traumatized me :(

[Pub Lover]

This reminds me of that priest who tied a bunch of balloons to himself for a fund raiser and floated out over the ocean. I don't know if they ever recovered his body.

that sounds like a lie

Search crews in Brazil have found a bundle of balloons off the coast that were being used by a priest who went missing trying to set a flight record.
Father Adelir de Carli lifted off from the port city of Paranagua on Sunday strapped to 1,000 helium balloons.
Although equipped with flotation equipment, a satellite phone and GPS, contact was lost with him late on Sunday after he was blown off course.
He wanted to break a 19-hour record for the most hours flying with balloons. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7360416.stm)

..

[Tadao]

LIES

[Wiffles]

I remember they did the Mythbusters balloon lawnchair episode too. It was dreamy ^.^

[Tadao]

Geez, try to point out that his dog had something potentially toxic in it's mouth and I'm a bad guy.

:rolleyes

[Tadao]

Alright guys, I'm out of here soon. Have fun with the newest loser.

[Kitsa]

:/

[Zhukov]

The philtrum allows us to breathe when we drink from bottles. I doubt that we evolved it for that reason though. While on that subject, it was just announced that QI qill now be shown on Australian television. Hooray.

[Kitsa]

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/brakbrak.gif


I just got an e-vite to a wedding that's happening next week on the other side of the world. :\

I'm going to have to hazard the guess that they want to be on-record as inviting me, but don't actually want me there.

[Aaarg]

yeah, that sucks. i'm supposed to go to a wedding on friday, not sure if i'm going. it's someone from the internet i've never met before, haha.

also since when is jack daniels a gangsta thing? should be grey goose or 151 or patron or something like that.

[Kitsa]

That pagebrak was my year-ago effort to find all the dumbest glitter shit on blingee and stick it in one place. There wasn't a ton of thought that went into it.

[Dimnos]

Alright guys, I'm out of here soon. Have fun with the newest loser.

WTF you talkin bout T? :confused:

[Pub Lover]

...it was just announced that QI will now be shown on Australian television. Hooray.

You jammy bastard. I hope they start showing it here too. :(

[MarioRPG]

That pagebrak was my year-ago effort to find all the dumbest glitter shit on blingee and stick it in one place. There wasn't a ton of thought that went into it.

JD sure sparkles.

[Fathom Zero]

Playstation Network rejects my billing information. Fuckers. And here I was, ready to buy stuff with money.

[Dimnos]

I always just buy a prepayed card thingy.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Playstation Network rejects my billing information. Fuckers. And here I was, ready to buy stuff with money.

THOSE IGNORANT *****

[Fathom Zero]

Nevermind. It was the bank's fault.

Bah. S'good thing it's a block away from me.

[Zhukov]

You jammy bastard. I hope they start showing it here too. :(
I always wondered if you guys got any form of Australian broadcasting. ABC?

[Fathom Zero]

YOU IGNORANT FUCK YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD MONEY

[Zhukov]

So I was talking to a female friend of mine on MSN, and I commented (in context) about how she was attractive, then her boyfriend (who was watching her talk to me WTF?) steps in and blasts me for "trying to start problems" between the two of them. Sure, I'm jealous that he has an attractive girlfriend, and my attractive girlfriend is on the other side of the world and we are currently on some sort of 'break' or 'hold' at the moment, but when is it not ok to just say that a friend is attractive?

WOMEN!

[Cool Youth Minister]

Zhukov, (these names are so silly) you pose an interesting question. It sounds like you're showing a genuine interest in your female friend. We in the ministry call them "no-touch friends". It's okay. Sometimes I tell my wife that her brother has well-defined abs. It doesn't mean anything. What I'm getting at is that you should just masturbate furiously over the thought of your girlfriend and that other girl as the stars of that "2 girls 1 cup" video I overhear kids talk about.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

So I was talking to a female friend of mine on MSN, and I commented (in context) about how she was attractive, then her boyfriend (who was watching her talk to me WTF?) steps in and blasts me for "trying to start problems" between the two of them. Sure, I'm jealous that he has an attractive girlfriend, and my attractive girlfriend is on the other side of the world and we are currently on some sort of 'break' or 'hold' at the moment, but when is it not ok to just say that a friend is attractive?

WOMEN!


I know right. What a bunch of jerks.

[Shrubfest]

I had to spend all morning convincing people that I did not sleep with someone last night.

It was hard work. Perhaps a life re-evaluation is needed?

[Guitar Woman]

I was up all night watching Randy Orton kick people in the head.

Maybe you should have done that.

[Zhukov]

I had to spend all morning convincing people that I did not sleep with someone last night.

It was hard work. Perhaps a life re-evaluation is needed?
What are you thinking of? Sleeping around more?

[Kitsa]

I had an interesting dinner, then I got horribly ill afterwards.

[Babs]

I haven't been able to get on here as of late due to a debilitating sinus infection. I mean don't get me wrong, sinus infections are pretty awesome it's just I'm so overwhelmed with excitement from it that it's been A LOT more interesting than I-mockery.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Welcome back :)

Sinus infections have been going around, got one meself. :(

[Kitsa]

One of the guys at dinner last night had one.

I put up some of my Zombie Barbie Garden today, but I'm not as mobile as I was last year so it sort of looks like shit. That, and the guy next door came out and started lecturing me, which pissed me off. I left the box of decorations out in the front yard, went inside and locked the door. As far as I know they're still out there.

[Zhukov]

What could he possibly have lectured you about?

[Fathom Zero]

IIycjxATmFI

I celebrate Halloween early. :)

[Kitsa]

What could he possibly have lectured you about?

Working outside whilst pregnant.

[Zhukov]

Wait, you did that while pregnant? You Horrid, horrid mother.

[Colonel Flagg]

Maybe you should have told him that it wasn't so bad, and that he should try it himself.

Some people are born with two assholes. :\

[Kitsa]

I'm sure that by his reckoning it's just friendly conversation, like when he told me to take down my hummingbird feeder because there are no hummingbirds in September. Or when he told me I was making his son gay because I let him use my art supplies to paint something.

I was using zip-ties to affix Zombie barbies to dead butterfly-bush branches. It wasn't that strenuous.

[Pub Lover]

I always wondered if you guys got any form of Australian broadcasting. ABC?

Technically we can pick it up if we buy off-brand equipment, but those that do are regarded with deep suspicion.

The only way New Zealanders could be more prejudiced against Australia is if you all became Asian overnight. #secretbigots

[Pub Lover]

Hashtags are obnoxious. :)
give him the pub treatment and take away his edit button, man.
This is the 'pub treatment' now is it? Great. Not like it was created in response to Jamesman being a little bitch. Or used most effectively against GW in curbing her behaviour to an extent. No, it is the pub treatment because I'm still that wacky a guy that I can't be trusted with a function I don't even use when it is available. Now if only we could get shutting the fuck up to be the Dixie treatment.

[Pub Lover]

That was a dumb thing to say. I sure wish I had a way to undo it. Oh well.

[Fathom Zero]

Hahaha :lol

What's up, Pub?

[Babs]

http://4gifs.com/gallery/d/126106-1/Benoit_choking_hazard.jpg

[Guitar Woman]

Someone asked me to take a "which wrestler are you" quiz a week ago

I got Chris Benoit :(

[Zhukov]

I don't have an edit button :(

Pub, it's a strange relationship that NZ and AUS have sometimes. You are dirty Kiwis with a stupid accent and we hate you for it, but often we Tasmanians will feel we are more closely connected to that little group of islands to our East than we are to the big one to our North.

Mainlanders are seen as racist, and closely related to Americans, wheras New Zealanders are even more remote than we are, and I guess we are jealous of it. We don't feel fully Australian because it's so cold here and we don't have Kangaroos, and it might make more sense to be part of the country that our landscape resembles. Plus, mainlanders make fun of us for being hippies.

[elx]

hangover fix pls pls pls quikqquick quick

[Zhukov]

Irn Bru and Vegemite. Oh, hello Elx, have you been drunk this whole time?

[MLE]

Did you know that hangovers are actually chemical reactions from a drug the government put in booze to stop people from drinking underage? True story.

[Otto]

My grandfather used to tell me that all the time, then again this is a man that went to the grave believing that the moon landing was faked and was also orchestrated by Stanley Kubrick.

Oh alcoholic grandpa, why'd you have to drink an entire bottle of whiskey and fall down the stairs?

[executioneer]

water b/w more water

[Guitar Woman]

Yeah, I'm going to conclude that it's dehydration because I drink a bunch of water before I fall asleep and never get headaches

I still feel anemic but if you eat like a nasty greasy omelette after you wake up that goes away immediately

Try drinking only-dextromethrophan cough syrup until you're dissociated enough to not give a shit about the railroad spike in your brain.

[Pub Lover]

I don't have an edit button :(
I have a sneaking suspicion that the mods of this board are anti-antipodean. :conspiracy
Pub, it's a strange relationship that NZ and AUS have sometimes.
NZ is two islands, and everyone here on the bottom one hates those on the top. I'm sure they'd hate us back if they knew we were here.

hangover fix pls pls pls quikqquick quick
Don't drink so young, Lassie.
Irn Bru and Vegemite. Oh, hello Elx, have you been drunk this whole time?
Come on now, how many perfect women do you think there are?

[Zhukov]

Come on now, how many perfect women do you think there are?

Only one :(

[Colonel Flagg]

hangover fix pls pls pls quikqquick quick

One way to fix a hangover is to not start drinking. :\

Failing this, I take 2 acetominophen, 1 naproxen sodium and 1 plain old extra-strength aspirin before tying one on. Probably something you should have asked before getting wasted. :\

Now, however, the best advice (second time so far, I think) is to drink plenty of water and wear hearing protection for all those loud inconsiderate bastards who are making TOO MUCH NOISE DAMMIT!

BTW, welcome back. How were those midterms? :)

[executioneer]

i though taking acetominophen before drinking is a good way to get serious internal problems :/

[Fathom Zero]

Some hair of the dog that bit you should work. :wakkawakka

[Guitar Woman]

Mixing acetominophen with alcohol is the number one cause of liver failure in the country. Also why the fuck are you adding aspirin to that, are you trying to kill yourself?

[MLE]

Only one :(

This was very xkcd.

[Kitsa]

I think hangovers are mainly dehydration, physiologically. Lots of fluids should help eventually.

I always find it weird how different types of alcohol can hit people so differently. For example, I can't deal with gin at all, the way a lot of people can't deal with tequila. It just makes me puke and puke. However, I used to be able to drink lots more whiskey than those around me with no effects whatsoever.

Dry wine does nothing to me, sweet wine (like Mogen David) has me falling over.

Or, at least it did. Back when I was able to partake.

[Zhukov]

I've never had a hangover, or been drunk.

[Fathom Zero]

Never had a hangover. Got sick a couple times, but that was usually pretty immediate. A good nap solved the problem for me.

[Colonel Flagg]

Mixing acetominophen with alcohol is the number one cause of liver failure in the country. Also why the fuck are you adding aspirin to that, are you trying to kill yourself?

i though taking acetominophen before drinking is a good way to get serious internal problems :/

I've always been a student of the philosophy "that which does not kill you makes you stronger" yet that may be the fault of my wisdom (or lack thereof) getting overshadowed by my bravado. This being said, I have never had gastrointestinal difficulty nor have I felt jaundiced after taking this concoction. It may be that I have a high tolerance, or it may be that I don't drink anywhere near enough to be at risk for anything except the occasional hangover. Whatever the reason, it works for me, perhaps as a blood thinner combined with a muscle relaxant and pain reliever, perhaps as just a chemical impetus toward consuming more non-alcoholic beverages (aka water) while intoxicated, but as of my last physical examination, I'm extremely healthy.

Thank you both for showing concern, if not for me then for your fellow mockers.

[elx]

ha, thanks guy! i was trying to take care of someone who i thought was hungover and dying, but as it turns out it was just a case of a normal lightweight. i googled it to see what to do to help, but all of the articles were all like "exercise" and "drink gatorade" and a bunch of other unhelpful stuff :( so i came straight to you guys.

i gave her an icepack/heating pad/two benadryl/one advil and i forced her to drink water. didn't work, i guess unless you take the precautionary steps you just have to fall asleep and hope for the best.

[Zhukov]

Phew. You almost shattered my perceptions.

[Esuohlim]

Hey elx I thought you were never going to show up again, wanted your account deleted, etc.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Someone asked me to take a "which wrestler are you" quiz a week ago

I got Chris Benoit :(

That's the best birthday present ever!

hangover fix pls pls pls quikqquick quick

Welcome back.

One way to fix a hangover is to not start drinking. :\



Best way to cure a hangover is cranberry juice and my new Louie DePalma shirt :love

[elx]

Hey elx I thought you were never going to show up again, wanted your account deleted, etc.
yeah i did want my account deleted, unfortunately, once you're a member here, you're always a member :(

[Dimnos]

Im sure they would make an exception if you REALLY wanted it.

[Colonel Flagg]

yeah i did want my account deleted, unfortunately, once you're a member here, you're always a member :(

Think this through, elx ... do you REALLY want to be in the same company as Jonathan Clement? Just food for thought.

[Dimnos]

What made her change her mind and not want to be here anyway?

[The Leader]

I don't want elx to go away again. :(

[elx]

http://i716.photobucket.com/albums/ww161/kelcnr/dieinanguish-1.png

[Zhukov]

OIA?

[Colonel Flagg]

Maybe DIA, but where's the F?

[MarioRPG]

The point is, there's a spider with a red dot on it. If that's not halloween I don't know what is.

[elx]

the answer is there, you just have to look a little closer

[Chojin]

the answer is there, you just have to look a little closer

oh god is this one of those sabotage things

do i have to turn my speakers up real loud too

[Tadao]

Hey I-Nicery, what's shakin'?

...

[Misdemonar]

go to hell

[Aaarg]

man that spooky spooky shit is bringing it down, i'll fix that with this picture i drew this morning based on a vision i had the night before.

http://www.klimp.dk/glown/karmas_payment.gif

[stevetothepast]

what up aaarg homie?

[Aaarg]

not much, about to lie my head down which means about to fall fast asleep good night

[Tadao]

go to hell

MOTHER FUCKER I'M SO DONE WITH YOU

[Fathom Zero]

I'm having a pretty good night, drinking a Fanta. How are you, Tadao? :)

[Tadao]

Doing really good myself. Gonna fix a drink and catch up on emails and internet stuffs. My sisters dog got my girls dog preggers. :o

[Tadao]

:pagebrak

[Colonel Flagg]

'Sup Tadao?

[Tadao]

sup Flagg, how's the ears?

[Colonel Flagg]

What? :)

Everything AOK. Watching the Phils and Dodgers - down to their last out. :(

Did you have fun while you were away?

[Tadao]

Yeah, watched movies, got really drunk. did naughty things and rode the carny rides at a catholic school. Life is pretty sweet right now and I don't think there is any other shooe to drop anywhere near by.

[Colonel Flagg]

Good for you. :)

[Colonel Flagg]

>: DBLPST

[Dimnos]

But did you ride a carny?

[Tadao]

I'm not that sick :x

[Fathom Zero]

http://www.myspace.com/raggadelic

you lot with your scag, degenerate faggots hating authority. WHY DO YOU GO ON?

[Tadao]

I wanna be cool too. :(

[Fathom Zero]

Save a horse, ride Art Carney.

[Fathom Zero]

Or listen to King Missile.

[Fathom Zero]

AQKS4_Y7QCI

[Fathom Zero]

If you want to be cool.

[Tadao]

too cool for me

[stevetothepast]

that was gay.

[Fathom Zero]

too cool for me

Your location should be Squaresville, maaaan.

[Sam]

FUCKING HELL

[stevetothepast]

FUCKING HELL

[Sam]

OKAY CHILDREN, I WILL BE GONE FOR A WHOLE WEEK, TRY TO BEHAVE YOURSELVES AND DON'T GET INTO ANY TROUBLE. I'LL LEAVE EMERGENCY NUMBERS ON THE FRIDGE AND IF YOU NEED ANYTHING PUB LOVER WILL BE IN TO CHECK ON YOU.

TAKE CARE MY LITTLE PRECIOUS DEARS

-Sam

[stevetothepast]

OH FUCKING HELL YOU WILL.

YOU BETTER GET TO A GOD-DAMNED INTERNET CAFE' TO LET US KNOW YOU ARE A-OK.

[Sam]

OH FUCKING HELL STEVE, I WILL MISS YOU THE MOST :tear

[stevetothepast]

:)

[Tadao]

Can I borrow the car keys?

[Tadao]

:pagebrak

[Chojin]

Squatted ass-to-grass 3x5 198.5 lbs today. Thursday I'll be doing 202.5, which is pretty much my current bodyweight.

So, one of my goals down. :picklehat

btw the .5 is because i'm using a standard bar, which weighs 22.5 lbs

[Pub Lover]

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii285/tadao_mockery/Human/meatnmn.jpg

That poor confused hobo. :(

[Babs]

Just got back from the optometrist and getting me some new specs. Time to level up my eyes to 20/15... On a different note, I don't have to go to my phlebotomy class today since I'm the top student and can wait til the tests next week. It's going to be a good week for Babs.

[Fathom Zero]

Interesting field.

[Dr. Boogie]

Guys, pub has posted in this thread 10,338 times.

[Tadao]

I'll catch up one day.

[Aaarg]

my throat hurts because i was listening to tom waits' swordfishtrombones on the way home and i'll be damned if i can avoid singing along to the whole goddamn album, including "sixteen shells from a thirty-ought-six."

(if you're not familiar: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6Y2533TZfc )

[Tadao]

if you're not familiar

:lol I've never seen a bigger gathering of Waits fans than here.

[Aaarg]

I haven't noticed more than a few.

I've needed something different to listen to before I get totally burnt-out on Modest Mouse, so I went back to Tom last night.

[Kitsa]

Just went walking around a mall I didn't really want to go walking around, went into a wal-mart restroom where there was a big wad of blood-soaked toilet paper on the floor, and waddled through a third grocery store where I almost got rammed by a bunch of old women not paying attention where they were driving their carts.

My feet are sore, this is not the way my day was supposed to go, and I'm feeling mighty pissy.

[Tadao]

Roar

[Babs]

For I am a rain dog too!

[Kitsa]

...and I just burned the fucking garlic bread because fucking Rock Band was playing too loud for me to hear the fucking timer.

...Fuck this day.

[Tadao]

Ha! I laugh at those days. Burnt bread, evil old bitches. Shit can't effect me. Did you listen to NMN - Victory?

[stevetothepast]

don't cry over spilled pork chops kitsa kat.

[Supafly345]

http://8.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_krsogtICuS1qzzypno1_400.jpg

[Colonel Flagg]

Hey, who did us all a favor and banned KG? Thank you, whoever you are! :)

[captain516]

It was probably Willie, God bless his sweaty soul.

[Fathom Zero]

LhXaFUlTwm0

[executioneer]

no it was mle >: my soul isnt sweaty you jerk

[captain516]

It was a Simpsons reference.

[Chojin]

it's okay, i lowered his ban to 24 hours

[Zhukov]

I know nobody wants to, but someone has to reveiw his stupid game now.

[executioneer]

"it's a pile" -legitimate reviews magazine
"negative fifty out of five stars" -gamedudes
"i loved it" -horse cock weekly

[Supafly345]

http://www.cracked.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/sb26-ads.jpg

[Kitsa]

:lol

My mom went out to dinner last night with an older neighbor of hers who is really, really into going out to restaurants.

She's very hard to please and has strict criteria...when she orders iced tea, they have to telepathically know to bring her a bowl of lemon wedges on the side, otherwise it's a "bad waitress". :\ They can't play the background music at more than a whisper because then people couldn't hear her talk. :| And they need to be all right with her holding the table for up to 4 hours if that's how long she wants to sit there. :shocked She goes out to lunch 5 times a week and dinner almost as often, so I'm sure all the area restaurant people know her by now.

Anyway, last night she managed to set her menu on fire on the table candle, then loudly complained that the music (a live musician at a grand piano) was too loud and needed to be turned down. When informed that the live musician wasn't going to play more quietly so she could be heard, she got mad and insisted that they be moved into a private dining area away from the piano.

I'm pretty glad I missed that one.

edit: She has an outdated "tip card" to calculate tip, and she follows it to a penny, literally. I have seen her count out dimes, nickels and pennies to leave $1.32 or whatever.

[Zhukov]

One thing I hate about dining with people from overseas is that they insist on leaving a tip. We don't tip in this country - I already paid for the meal why am I paying more?! I have to leave it for the waiter/ress? Their boss pays them! They have a wage!

Why?! Americans, stop invading us with your McDonalds and your culture of tipping! The restaurants are catching on and now they are starting to expect it. This is against what this country stands for.

[Kitsa]

It's just what Americans are used to. When my family's in America, we tip. When we're in Europe (especially if it's a small inn or something where the proprietor is also the server, where it's insulting) we generally follow the local rules. But here, servers expect a tip and have for a long time. It's built into their wage structure...I believe some actually receive less than minimum wage, and depend on tips to make a livable income.

Normally, in the States, I leave a 20% tip if the person has done a fairly good job. I've had some abysmal service and left some small tips accordingly, but I don't do it often. $1.32 would just be insulting to a waiter, and then you risk something happening to your food next time.

For the record, I hate McDonald's and haven't been to one in about 15 years. And that time it wasn't my idea.

[Zhukov]

Are you saying that you have to tip at McDonalds?

[elx]

waiters/waitresses are exempt from our minimum wage laws, most of them only get paid like $2/hour so the tips make up the majority of their salary. that's why we tip.

and i'm fairly certain that tips aren't allowed at fastfood chains.

[Colonel Flagg]

I always tip the restroom attendant at McDonalds for providing me with a freshly warmed moist towel. Very refreshing.

[Zhukov]

waiters/waitresses are exempt from our minimum wage laws, most of them only get paid like $2/hour so the tips make up the majority of their salary. that's why we tip.

This is insanity.

So if I go to the US to visit, which I will one day, will I be allowed to leave without tipping? How is it enforced? Now that I know that it is more of a communal wage rather than one based on a employee/employer structure, I would feel bad not leaving a huge tip anyway.

Anyone been to the type of restaurant that tells you to pay whatever you think the meal was worth? Apparantly they do very well from themselves because guilt is a strong emotion, and people love to feel good about themselves.

[Dimnos]

There is no enforcement. You dont HAVE to tip. You can get up and walk out with just paying your bill. As a tourist you probably wont have a problem with it. Regulars will get a nice side of spit with their next order though.

[elx]

the entire system is crap, a single cute waitress can make more in one night than all of her coworkers combined. it'd be nice if restaurants just paid waiters a normal rate and didn't allow tipping.

[Dimnos]

the entire system is crap, a single cute waitress can make more in one night than all of her coworkers combined. it'd be nice if restaurants just paid waiters a normal rate and didn't allow tipping.

True. They just need to do away with the gratuity system. If you are worried about quality of service hire some managers that actually pay attention to their wait staff.

[Pub Lover]

Guys, pub has posted in this thread 10,338 times.
And not a one worth reading. :(
the entire system is crap, a single cute waitress can make more in one night than all of her coworkers combined. it'd be nice if restaurants just paid waiters a normal rate and didn't allow tipping.
Don't worry, Lass. I'll tip you. I'll tip you all night long. :(

[Dr. Boogie]

When you get up to 11,000 posts, you might just get your editing privileges back.

[Pub Lover]

Ha, do I also get a postcount reset? :(
http://i716.photobucket.com/albums/ww161/kelcnr/dancingbeaaars.png

well that just doesn't make sense..what could possibly go wrong
Need more of this please. :)
i've noticed a theme. every single girl posted in this thread has dark hair/eyes. :(
whats with that!

<3

I thought that thread was creepy before I posted in it. :(

[Chojin]

One thing I hate about dining with people from overseas is that they insist on leaving a tip. We don't tip in this country - I already paid for the meal why am I paying more?! I have to leave it for the waiter/ress? Their boss pays them! They have a wage!

In the US, they don't have a wage. The average is just over $3 an hour and all tips have to be reported and taxed. When I worked at a local restaurant, the person training me got a paycheck for negative 22 cents due to the taxes from her tips.

In other words, shut up

[Pub Lover]

Yeah, we'll shut up about thinking waiters are hard working employees that deserve a salary that conforms to minimum wage.

[Kitsa]

he just didn't know how it works here, it'd be hard to understand if you only saw it from outside the US.

[Chojin]

Yeah, we'll shut up about thinking waiters are hard working employees that deserve a salary that conforms to minimum wage.

and while we're out changing the way the world works, let's all agree to kill the fags, stop being racist, and appreciate classical music

he just didn't know how it works here, it'd be hard to understand if you only saw it from outside the US.

i don't log in to the internet to be reasonable.

[Kitsa]

The last McDonald's I went to was in Verona, Italy. It was completely unlike any McDonald's I knew. A server with white gloves tonged your salad into the styrofoam container and handed it to you. I've got a picture of it somewhere...when I find it I'll edit this and add it.

[Aaarg]

What do they call a quarter pounder in Italy?

[Chojin]

Today I put on underwear that was 8 sizes too big for me, and it caught on my thighs.

Uh oh.

:oao

[Kitsa]

no idea, my dad always ordered us unpleasantly large amounts of Chicken mcnuggets :(

[Pub Lover]

and while we're out changing the way the world works

That isn't how THE WORLD works. Just your part of it.

It is a pretty good part overall, though. :(

[Chojin]

That isn't how THE WORLD works. Just your part of it.

It is a pretty good part overall, though. :(

Yes it is. America is part of the world. Ants being hill enthusiasts is also part of how the world works, you fgt.

The first thing they teach you in AA is to accept the things you cannot change. Then they teach you how to smoke to cope with your other addictions.

[Kitsa]

oh, fuck it, I'll just stick it here.

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/McdonaldsEurope-1.jpg

[Pub Lover]

:pagebrak

[Pub Lover]

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c44/executioneer/newredcar.jpg

This picture needs more Willie wearing sunglasses.

I am not sure if he should have his arms folded and a grim look on his face, or a grin and some cheerful little thumbs hitting the air.

[Pub Lover]

Wow, that was a super gay song there Carnivore.

I don't know that history. :whooshovermyhead

He looks like the guy from Creed. When anyone mentioned the resemblance he would be irked. Not a lot of back-story really.

[Tadao]

I knew Chojin changed the video, but I wanted to help get him stirred up. I'm glad I don't look like Creed guy.

[Chojin]

actually the story was that being accused of loving creed threw him into fits of rage

[Zhukov]

In the US, they don't have a wage. The average is just over $3 an hour and all tips have to be reported and taxed. When I worked at a local restaurant, the person training me got a paycheck for negative 22 cents due to the taxes from her tips.

In other words, shut up


Actually I was talking about why I should have to leave a tip for wait people in my country, where they receive a wage.

The minimum wage in Australia is $AU14.30, which would equal about 8.10 pounds and $US13.23.

[Aaarg]

Damn. I think minimum wage here is like $7.25US.

[stevetothepast]

min wage in canada is like CDN$8.50 I think?

[Tadao]

When I waited on tables, I made U.S. Minimum plus tips. I love California.

[Fathom Zero]

They make minimum wage here in Oklahoma.

[Kitsa]

I had a shitty afternoon. Among other things, a cranky elderly neighborhood lady was complaining about the fact that kids trick or treat. She didn't want to deal with it and besides, she wanted to keep the candy for herself. She was counting how many kids on the street might annoy her on Halloween, and she pointed at my stomach and said, "And that'll be another one."

If I were less strictly schooled in manners, I might have said something nasty.

[Tadao]

like "Don't worry, I'll teach mine to stay away from creepy old witches house."?

[Kitsa]

Strike one was when she told me that I shouldn't have wasted money burying my infant twins when they died last year, that I should have just had the hospital throw them away.

Strike two was when she saw my mom walking my dog and went over to ask if my mom knew how easy it was to kill a dog.

This was strike three, and even though I managed to hold my tongue because of the company I was in, I still have all these black bats of rage flapping before my eyes, you know?

She certainly does not have to worry about my bringing a kid to her house to trick or treat. She's the kind of person who would give out poisoned candy, if there is such a type.

[Tadao]

That neighborhood is gonna turn you into a killer.

[Kitsa]

It just might.

The thought that there are more people like that in the world angers and frightens me.

[executioneer]

bitch needs to get egged

[Kitsa]

with grenades

[executioneer]

in the mouth

[Kitsa]

I forgot to tell you about when she was delighted to find a nest of bunnies in her yard. She poisoned all of them.

She also regularly calls Animal Control if she hears anyone's dog barking.

[Colonel Flagg]

She needs a horseradish enema.

[Kitsa]

It's almost like those old bats in the movies, you know, like the one in the Wizard of Oz who takes Toto or the old bitch in Gremlins who wants to kill the dog. Before I moved to this neighborhood I had a hard time believing that that sort of person actually existed, but they do. There are a lot of mean, selfish people out there who get joy out of making others miserable.

[elx]

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c44/executioneer/newredcar.jpg
THIS IS NOT A PICTURE OF ME, I APOLOGIZE
i thought this was a hotwheel with a little lego man in it :(

[Babs]

Strike one was when she told me that I shouldn't have wasted money burying my infant twins when they died last year, that I should have just had the hospital throw them away.

Strike two was when she saw my mom walking my dog and went over to ask if my mom knew how easy it was to kill a dog.

This was strike three, and even though I managed to hold my tongue because of the company I was in, I still have all these black bats of rage flapping before my eyes, you know?

She certainly does not have to worry about my bringing a kid to her house to trick or treat. She's the kind of person who would give out poisoned candy, if there is such a type.

What an old whorish bitch.

Is this old hag a remarkable old creature that can sit on the end of a broom stick and take off? Can she actually achieve flight?

[Pub Lover]

actually the story was that being accused of loving creed threw him into fits of rage

You're right. It was that long complicated story, not my long complicated story at all.

[Pub Lover]

There are a lot of mean, selfish people out there who get joy out of making others miserable.

In here too. :(

[Pub Lover]

:pagebrak

[executioneer]

i thought this was a hotwheel with a little lego man in it :(

it does kind of look that way i guess :( i wish it'd been a more subtle color but what the hey it was a good deal!

[Fathom Zero]

http://img30.imageshack.us/img30/6161/4023878894ab08d029ff.jpg

[Chojin]

I know none of you read Art Shit, so prz to be reading this thread and leaving comments:

http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69703318

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

So boring today. My saturday mornings consist of me being really busy at work. Saturday afternoons are really slow at work. Saturday nights are really busy at the bar, except by now I'm the customer.

[Kitsa]

I put a wig on my mom's cat once and she got really pissed :(

I thought I was being considerate, making sure it had ear-holes and all.

[LordSappington]

Is it bad when your doctor tells you to come hear your blood results in person? :<

[elx]

nah babysappyton, they do that always, to everyone

[Fathom Zero]

Why give results over the phone? That could potentially be unsafe.

[LordSappington]

I'm just real nervous; I already got a letter yesterday saying they want me to come in for more blood-work, and now I get another one saying they want to talk to me about the LAST results....
I hate doctor stuff. :(

[elx]

if it were something serious they would have warned you about it on the phone, don't worry

[Zhukov]

I'm seriously thinking about taking all my vast savings of money and opening a book shop.

[Fathom Zero]

As a hobby or legitimately?

[Zhukov]

Legit. A small shop with used and specialist books and literature. Probably art, games and collectables as a side. It's a dream so far, I haven't seriously looked into what it's going to cost, although I have got a bit of money.

The area that I have been thinking of has one chain bookshop and that's about it.

[Fathom Zero]

That would've been my first bit of advice. While I'm not a smart person by any means, I would assume that the most opportune place would be somewhere without many of them. Sounds cool, then.

[Aaarg]

Well, you do have to be careful. Sometimes a town doesn't have a particular shop because there's no demand for it.

There's only one video game store here, and it's dead all the time (except when they host D&D sessions).

But then again, no matter how stupid the general population of a town is, there's always a market for books.

[Aaarg]

DBLPST:
reaping the benefits of working in a grocery store
- the abundance of large bags of dog food being busted in transport prevents one from having to purchase dog food
- the cheap plastic on the eight-packs of gatorade cause the rings to break frequently resulting in 8 bottles of gatorade in the milk cooler, free to employees in the know
- finding a box of frozen food in the back of the freezer that was discontinued months ago--the food still in date--will provide many nights of TGIF chicken quesadillas (not the healthiest but the price is right)

[captain516]

Good luck, Zhukov.

[Colonel Flagg]

I'm just real nervous; I already got a letter yesterday saying they want me to come in for more blood-work, and now I get another one saying they want to talk to me about the LAST results....
I hate doctor stuff. :(

So what's what, Sapster? Is it serious or is elx right and you're worrying about nothing?

Inquiring minds want to know, dammit. >:

[Dimnos]

He has the anemia and will need a marrow transplant. :tear

[Colonel Flagg]

Just so long as it's not the dieabeetus. :tear :Ranny

[RaNkeri]

:rolleyes

[Chojin]

question - if i delete people from my friends list on facebook, does it tell them?

when i started, facebook went on a rampage adding everyone from my high school and i don't even know most of these fgts

[Fathom Zero]

Man.

Toys is a good movie.

[Kitsa]

chojin- I think you just don't show up on their friends list anymore. At least, that's what I hope, because I'm contemplating a massive facebook purge myself.

[Fathom Zero]

They don't get an indicator, if that's what you're wondering. Same goes for Myspace.

[LordSappington]

So what's what, Sapster? Is it serious or is elx right and you're worrying about nothing?

Inquiring minds want to know, dammit. >:
I'm getting my brain looked at and stuff; I've been having massive memory loss lately, my eyes won't focus for hours at a time, disorientation, muscle spasms in my right arm, and other strange things. :(
Uhm, did 'memory loss' show up as an ad link for anyone else? :?

[Kitsa]

nope, I keep getting Bowling for Soup.

[Fathom Zero]

SIX FLAGS. MORE FLAGS, MORE FUCKING FUN.

[Sam]

FUCKING HELL

[elx]

welcome back samantha

[Colonel Flagg]

Uhm, did 'memory loss' show up as an ad link for anyone else? :?

Nope. G2G dating. (big surprise) :rolleyes

[Guitar Woman]

Do you guys know any good remedies for restoring sleep schedules

My flow's been completely fucked for about a year, and since I started college I usually get to bed around 4 AM if I sleep at all.

This would be fine if sleep deprivation didn't fuck you up; my head feels empty most of the time and I have ridiculous luggage building up underneath my eyes

[King Hadas]

Don't go to sleep, stay up until it's an appropriate time to go to bed (between 7-12). If that doesn't sound appealing then take a power nap (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_nap).

When I have to get up early but stayed up too late I set my alarm clock a few hours before I want to get up. When it goes off I get up, set the alarm a half hour ahead and go back to bed. By the time I have to get up I'm wide awake.

[Supafly345]

Don't go to bed until the next night. I have to do this every so often, but it still depends on how stubborn your clock is.

[Zhukov]

Yeah, if you find yourself going to bed at 4am, just don't go to bed. You'll be sufficiently tired by the time 11:30pm comes around. And for god sake don't take pills, they'll just fuck you up more.

[Guitar Woman]

You guys think I haven't tried that shit :<

I do that at least once a week and tell myself, "Ok, this time I'm really gonna get back on track"

Then I wake up at 8, go to sleep at 10, and fuck up my schedule again the next day

[MarioRPG]

How about doing your school things during the day. If you don't finish, fuck it.
Then going to bed.

[Chojin]

i have the same problem, gw ;<

since i've been tracking my diet like a hawk, i noticed on my chart that i lose a full day every 2 weeks or so

[Guitar Woman]

How about doing your school things during the day. If you don't finish, fuck it.
Then going to bed.

If passing my courses still didn't matter I'd have this attitude but we can't all be high school students forever

[King Hadas]

Sleeping habits, you got to be consistent. Go to bed at the right time, wake up at the right time. What's the use in getting your hours straight one day only to fuck them up the next. You have to be like the samurai, always aware of his own death (bedtime).

[Kitsa]

When I was a kid, my mom used to "clean up" my room by throwing anything that was out into a rubbermaid tub and putting the rubbermaid tub somewhere I couldn't get to it. It was a fast way to clean a room, yeah, but then I was wondering where the hell my clothes and homework and crayons and all that were. So years later (sometimes 20 years later) I'd find these bins and bam, it's like a fucking time capsule. That's why I have all my school papers and toys from when I was a kid.

Found another "time capsule" today, from when my parents moved states and threw all my stuff into boxes. It's been in sealed storage for 7 years. I went through it today...all the paperwork that went missing from college and work (so that's where my dental insurance card went), ancient toiletries, even a bagful of candy from my desk at work. It's a weird phenomenon around here but kind of fun.

Perhaps not coincidentally, I grew up feeling panicked that I couldn't stand guard over my stuff all the time.

[MarioRPG]

If passing my courses still didn't matter I'd have this attitude

That sucks man, but 'passing' has never been a problem for me. Now, if I were aiming for high 80s then I'd probably be in your shoes. What are you taking anyway / what year of your program?

[Dr. Boogie]

If you do some kind of intense exercise during the day, you should be sufficiently tired by the time night rolls around.

[Fathom Zero]

It's Guitar Woman. :lol

[Dr. Boogie]

Then he should preen like a girl for 30 minutes a day instead of 15.

[Kitsa]

sleep patterns can be pretty ephemeral. It could be that this is just a phase that will transition into something else later.

[Dimnos]

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51r%2BdQs17IL._SL500_AA380_.jpg

[Tadao]

Dude, meth is the answer you are looking for.

[kgp4death]

Yes, I agree methane right from the asshole of a young cafe.