I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[kahljorn]

i like kurosawa films but they are so boring. I always expect his samurai films to have like cool samurai's in them but he always gays it up.

[Tadao]

:lol I like his samurais

[kahljorn]

they're fags and they don't even look good when they swing their swords.

The only guy that looks good in Seven Samurai, from what I remember, dies a stupid and meaningless death.

[Tadao]

Yeah, that's was the whole point.

[kahljorn]

Maybe, but it doesn't change the fact that his other "samurais" looked like shit when they held their weapons.

[Tadao]

They were not master swordsman back in Feudal Japan. That is all legend stuff. They were just guys with the right to carry swords. They waved them around in the air a lot cause threatening a peasant was much easier than killing one.

[Tadao]

For the Samurai with wit and style I watch Lone Wolf and Cub.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lone_Wolf_and_Cub#Films

[Kitsa]

I probably couldn't physically handle a farm, but there's a japanese-style house nearby that I've been lusting after for years. It was beautiful, it even had a little stream with a footbridge. There's no way in hell I'd ever be able to afford it, but I liked to look at it and dream, you know? I thought about where I'd put weeping cherry trees (so the petals would float on the water) and that sort of thing.

Then some hicks bought it, painted the beautiful feudal-style timbers some weirdass burgundy color, and put shitty country art all over the place (like the plywood "fat woman bending over garden" cutouts).

I damn near cried. If I ever come into some huge amount of money, which will be never, I'll walk up to their front door with a wad of cash just so I can put things back to how they're supposed to be.

[Tadao]

Well, when I said farm I mean something that has neighbors at a distance. I didn't mean to actually grow anything. Get a bunch of goats and rent them out to people.

[Womti]

http://home.comcast.net/%7Etembre/gar5.jpg

[kahljorn]

So basically samurais weren't trained how to hold a sword ;\ And the samurai technique is non-existent.

Just like most soldiers don't really know how to hold or use their weapons and they are never trained :rolleyes

I'm pretty sure FUEDAL JAPAN is really the ONLY time-period in which samurai's were bad asses, since after feudal japan was obliterated and absolutism rose during the meiji restoration the samurai class was essentially abolished, and all swords were taken away during the great sword hunt.

[Tadao]

Just like most soldiers don't really know how to hold or use their weapons and they are never trained :rolleyes

What are you talking about? This is about Japan.

They locked themselves off from the whole world and never developed and their techniques. They were ruled by one Emperor on a very small Island. If there was any fighting going on it was assassination by poison, not great waves of Samurais fighting in fields of bamboo. The Samurai had nothing to do but look tough. Yeah it doesn't sound pretty, sorry. :rolleyes

[kahljorn]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sengoku_period

Japan was constantly fighting themselves. And they weren't always secluded.

They weren't always ruled by an "Emperor" either. or at least, the emperor wasn't always important. See "FEUDAL LORD."

most of the samurai were trained in the basic samurai technique and in the basic way to hold a sword.

KENDO is the name of the samurai sword technique I think. What the fuck is wrong with you? You think just because they weren't associating with the outside world means that they wouldn't have developed their own sword techniques? Stupid.
this conversation is pointless because you're either an idiot or you're acting like an idiot. Go play a samurai fighting videogame or something.

[Tadao]

Yes they were fighting, but not with samurai, Samurai were created as cops because.. oh fuck it, why the fuck do I care if you get it right. You don't even know what Kendo is. What ever.

[Dr. Boogie]

Board veterans will recall that weapon technology in feudal Japan was revolutionized by the advent of the Gen Bo.

[kahljorn]

Okay tadao. You win. The samurai's weren't trained how to hold their swords, there was no such thing as a sword technique or martial arts or anything, and samurais never went to war or had to fight any battles.
None.

pretty much they sat around all the time. Also japan has always been unified under one ruler and the meiji restoration is just a historical illusion created by fancy pants americans.
Whatever about kendo. KENJUTSU I GUESS IS THE APPROPRIATE NAME.

Who cares WHO the samurai were fighting? It's not like samurais can only fight other samurai's with their techniques or some shit. There are just certain ways to cut, governed by laws of physics and the anatomic structure of the person using the sword.
Also, I at least admitted that it MIGHT have been called KENDO, and this wasn't even central to anything that i said (frankly, its irrelevant). You are stating everything that you are stating as facts, when the historical details don't match.

how about some exerpts from some internet sites?:
War played a central part in the history of Japan. Warring clans controlled much of the country. A chief headed each clan; made up of related families. The chiefs were the ancestors of Japan's imperial family. The wars were usually about "land." Only 20% of the land was fit for farming. The struggle for control of that land eventually gave rise to the Samurai.The Samurai rose out of the continuing battles for land among three main clans: the Minamoto, the Fujiwara and the Taira. The Samurai eventually became a class unto themselves between the 9th and 12th centuries A.D. They were called by two names: Samurai (knights-retainers) and Bushi (warriors). Some of them were related to the ruling class. Others were hired men. They gave complete loyalty to their Daimyo (feudal landowners) and received land and position in return. Each Daimyo used his Samurai to protect his land and to expand his power and rights to more land.Late 1200's A.D. --- Mongols invade Japan. The Samurai defeat the Mongols after many years of fierce fighting. The Samurai developed a style of formation combat and depended more on the sword as a primary weapon in battle.1400'a A.D. --- Master swordsmen established schools to teach their style of ken-jutsu.those quotes pretty much annihilate every premise you stated. They weren't secluded. They had wars with people outside of them. Samurai were used to expand power and rights to more land. There are "master swordsmen." They had their own styles/techniques. I also found a quote saying that the right to bear swords wasn't enacted until after 1200.
You're a failure. If anyone wants to, feel free to split this into a philosophy board thread, cause i know those quotes are going to be annoying....

[Tadao]

Uh huh. :rolleyes

[Tadao]

Your the kinda guy that believes ninjas existed.

[kahljorn]

Tadao, buster of myths.

YOURE A BUSTER IF I EVAH SAW ONE.

[Aaarg]

i believe taodoaw on this issue because he's asian

and because if i don't he might throw an axe through me like i'm a kitchen wall

[Tadao]

:lol Asians are the ones who perpetuate and romanticize the myths. It was the Chinese who were the great warriors and martial art experts. Mongolians in particular.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Woot for the mongolians! My ex girlfriend looked really asian so she researched her ancestry and somehow found out all Pollocks might be asian because the Mongols took them over for a few centuries.

So I might be Irish, French-Canadian and Polish-Mongolion.

Fuck you all.

[kahljorn]

The mongols ruled a lot of people it doesn't make those people asian. That's ridiculous. Germany and russia both ruled poland at some point so you might really be german russian and mongolian.

Okay i'm going to say that irish people are all actually frogs who can leap 7,0000000 feeet and native americans were actually irish people who made lucky leaps (thats why four leaf clovers have such a reputation as being lucky; the people carrying these were the ones who survived the leap and didn't land in the ocean or have their bodies crushed or accidently go into space). I have some irish ancestors and some native american ancestors (supposedly) so you should believe what I'm saying even though the facts are against it :rolleyes

[kahljorn]

It was the Chinese who were the great warriors and martial art experts. Mongolians in particular.

Since when were mongolians and chinese the same people?
And just because chinese were "great warriors and martial art experts" doesn't mean samurais didn't have any sword techniques or martial arts. Can you please exercise some common sense before you open your dumb mouth?

[Tadao]

:rolleyes

[kahljorn]

same to you, jackass.

[Kitsa]

I just got a spam email with the title:

WE ARE GIVING OUT GIANT COCKS


...it's the sort of thing you can't help but try and picture.

[MetalMilitia]

Having watched the trailer to Tom Cruise's award winning film Last Samurai several times I feel qualified to continue this discussion.

Basically Samurai were these guys in olden times with swords that would cleave jerks in twain with a single swipe. They also launched a rocket that went all the way to the moon.
I think Tom Cruise was based on a historical figure of the same name that was in charge of all the samurai or something. After the film he went on to create the Kobra Kai school of Karate which was featured in the Oscar nominated film Karate Kid.

Hope this helps clear up some of the confusion.

[Kitsa]

heh heh heh.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

The mongols ruled a lot of people it doesn't make those people asian. That's ridiculous. Germany and russia both ruled poland at some point so you might really be german russian and mongolian.

Okay i'm going to say that irish people are all actually frogs who can leap 7,0000000 feeet and native americans were actually irish people who made lucky leaps (thats why four leaf clovers have such a reputation as being lucky; the people carrying these were the ones who survived the leap and didn't land in the ocean or have their bodies crushed or accidently go into space). I have some irish ancestors and some native american ancestors (supposedly) so you should believe what I'm saying even though the facts are against it :rolleyes


I might be a lot of things but I know I'm not a jerk. That ancestry seems to be taken up entirely by you.

[MetalMilitia]

You must've missed the memo - on the internet you have to be a jerk to everyone or you're no better than a noob, newb or worst of all nub.

:imock

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I checked my internet folder. I did miss the jerk memo. Plain as day.

Now I have all my ducks in one barrel and all my jerks in one kahljorn.

[Supafly345]

http://wheresmyshoe.com/shoe95.gif

[Misdemonar]

You must've missed the memo - on the internet you have to be a jerk to everyone or you're no better than a noob, newb or worst of all nub.

:imock

IN THE INTERNET THERE IS NO LAW

[kahljorn]

Don't forget the memo for pussies: if somebody says something retarded, ignore it and give them hugs. Internet people have feelings too. Also, if somebody says something which opposes you don't forget to cry about it.

Jesus, here I am taking up the noble duty of informing you cuntswabs whatswhat and you shit all over it. WHOS THE ASSHOLE?

ps only assholes answer rhetorical questions >:

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Sounds like you need a hug little lady.

[kahljorn]

hugs from flaming homosexuals are laden with lust and sexual innuendo. You'd probably just try to grab my ass or something.

[Kitsa]

who gave kahl the amphetamine? :/

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I don't know but he sure sounds cranky and whiny though.

[Dr. Boogie]

The truth about samurai is somewhere between Tadao and MM: they weren't actually any good at swordplay, but that was because they could chop people in half with a single strike. As such, little effort was put into developing a followup in case the target avoided the attack.

The real trouble came when explorers from the west arrived. At that time, the samurai were still experimenting with ways to add a second strike to their arsenal, and they were worried that they wouldn't be able to come up with one before the Europeans came in force. That's when they all decided, as a people, to start acting as though the samurai were the most feared swordsmen not just in the land, but in the entire world. The Europeans were inclined to believe them after a handful of Japanese took them to a bamboo grove to watch samurai chop down several bamboo trees with a single slash (the Europeans didn't realize that the trees were actually hollow).

But here's the most interesting part of that story: years later, Taigong Shin, the man who first proposed the idea of fooling the Europeans, left Japan to live in America. In his remaining years, he compiled his disinformation tactics into a discipline he called "PR" and passed them down to his sole disciple: Will Rogers.

[Kitsa]

I was not a samurai, and I don't know any samurais, so I have no useful input.

If you want to know about being sick a lot and making dumb pictures out of food, I'm your girl.

[Tadao]

http://www.ugo.com/filmtv/top11-classyassassins/images/3.jpg

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Need a 10,000 Volt Ghost Dog picture.

[Tadao]

hehehe

[kahljorn]

Yea. To cut something in half with one strike requires a certain type of technique. The sword isn't just swung like a baseball bat. There is a certain way to do it. Pretty much to cut or slice or chop at all requires a technique. That is why they are called cuts, slices, chops and not just HACKing away at something.
I'm sure samurais at least learned those basic moves.

All this over my opinion that the samurais in kurosawa's films don't impress me :rolleyes

[kahljorn]

and fuck you idiots. Sorry I'm making fun of your precious vagina-antics. Why don't you go whine about it on a message board for pussies.

[Tadao]

Pretty much to cut or slice or chop at all requires a technique.

:rolleyes

[kahljorn]

:rolleyes
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[Supafly345]

Martin Yan is pretty goddamn dangerous you have to admit.

[Tadao]

He must be a Chinese Samurai!

[kahljorn]

He must've been part of secluded Japan which was ruled absolutely by an emperor and thats why it was called feudal japan because of all the control that the emperor had and also japan was never divided against itself and they never had wars.

I'm tadao I know generalizations about japanese history which are only accurate for small time-periods.

[Tadao]

:lol Your foot stomping is amusing.

[kahljorn]

Your stupidity is amusing.

Do you even know w hat feudalism is?

[Kitsa]

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/internet.jpg

[kahljorn]

You aren't my friends. Dumbass.

[kahljorn]

I wish i could find a picture of you so I could put:

Today I'm boring on the internet.

Except that would be inaccurate because you're always boring.

here are some other things I would put on a picture of you:

Today I will talk about how sick I am on the internet.


I would also like a group picture of all of you guys crying saying:
Today somebody mocked me on i-mockery boofuckinghoo.

[Tadao]

I could could fix your misinterpretations, but I already have been down this path with you before and it's much more fun to see you act like a 5 year old in the middle of a tantrum.

[kahljorn]

I always forget that you're educated and in a position to enlighten me even though everything you've said in this thread was inaccurate.

Other ideas for a picture of kitsa:
I create food art then eat it

in that picture with her chubby snowman-like features.

[Kitsa]

If everyone sucks so much, I don't get why you're here and not doing something better.

[Tadao]

Cause his 2 hour google education on Japan is highly valued.

[kahljorn]

:rolleyes Because it is entertaining for me to insult you? Can you try not to be so typical?
I do like some people on here. Just not you. or tadao.

When did i-mockery start harboring so many pussies?

[kahljorn]

Oh really mr. japan has always been secluded, never fought any wars with anybody, never had any internal conflict and never engaged in a ny fights with anybody. :rolleyes

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/internet.jpg

Must have been sucking on some grape dick shaped popsicles.

[Kitsa]

just fucking ignore us already then.

[kahljorn]

Shut up kitsa. Why don't you ignore me if you're so refined? Why does it have to come from me, the asshole? Seems like an unreasonable and extremely stupid request.

10,000 ghost guy actually i twas like purple/black lipstick and I was trying to look like a chola but I ended up looking gothic. Also it wouldn't be necessary for it to be dickshaped in order to have that effect :rolleyes what a presumption. you always have dicks on your mind, don't you?

[kahljorn]

tadao where did you learn about japanese history? cause i learned it at a college :O :O :O

but i guess a loser on the internet would know more about japanese history than historians.

you know what's stupid and extremely annoying is when girls jump into a fight that didn't involve them for no good reason talk shit and then when they get bitch-slapped they go, "WHY DONT YOU JUST IGNORE ME." Fuck off, lady.

[Tadao]

:lol STOMP STOMP STOMP I HATE YOU GUYS :tear

[kahljorn]

WHINEWHINEWHINE SOMEBODYMADE FUN OF ME ON THE INTERNET AND THEY WONT STOP SO THAT MUST MEAN THEY ARE ACTING CHILDISH.
Coming from a guy who used to make threads targeting people so he could bond with them, this doesn't mean much.

Squiggle all you can, tadao, it's probably about the most gracile motion you can muster given your bulbous frame.

can you guys try to think up some more compelling insults? this is lame.

[Tadao]

:lol I thought this would be boring by now, but imagining the look on your face as you type your amazing insults is just too funny. Especially the look you must get when you think you won some argument while everyone around you is laughing at you.

[Tadao]

And as usual you are left out of the loop. Glow knows what I mean and we had a good laugh at your expense.

[kahljorn]

Good for you and your lame internet loop.

I can only imagine the look on your face while you type out, continually, "THAT KAHLJORN IS JUST SO MEAN!"

[Tadao]

But if I ever need makeup tips, I'm sure I'll ask you. :rolleyes

[kahljorn]

If I ever need an account of inaccurate historical details, I'll be sure to contact you.

[kahljorn]

If I were some new internet asshole on here you guys would act exactly the same towards me as I'm acting towards you right now. So quit putting on this noble charade.

and you guys would probably think I was an idiot if i kept saying, "YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN" "YOURE JUST STOMPIN AROUND LIKE A CHILD" over and over. I'm sure this message board is full of such exchanges.

[Kitsa]

who said I was refined? All the insults you've thrown at me have been ones I put out there in the first place. I know I'm fat and ugly, and if I'm boring you can fix that easily enough by ignoring me. If you can't bring yourself to hit the button, don't look at what I write.

And this is the chat thread, not a private discussion, unless you'd like to sling nonsense at Tadao for another fifteen pages.

You're acting like a petulant undergrad who's off his meds.

[Tadao]

And I just tucked him in for his nap :(

[kahljorn]

I do generally ignore your posts, Kitsa.

Tadao and his loop sitting at their computers. Do you guys point at posts and go, "Look at what happened there?" And then you all laugh at me and go, "haha how awful of him/her/it." Woo man you guys sure are on a roll today, aren't you? Is your loop active right now? Are gonna message them up and be like, "Hey look guys I need you to laugh at him/her/it with me :C."

That's not a loop, it's a support group.

[Dimnos]

:bestthread

[Kitsa]

I'm playing Holiday in Cambodia and thinking of someone special. Guess who!

[Misdemonar]

ME

[Misdemonar]

ITS ME ISNT IT

[Fathom Zero]

Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

ME!

[Esuohlim]

no you dumbass dumb jerks

[Misdemonar]

MILHOUSE BACKWARDS YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS THE JERK

[kahljorn]

:rolleyes come on guys we all know that IM the jerk

[Kitsa]

Well, it did clear up one thing for me, anyway. The next time you want to know something out of my earlier-edition art textbook, I'll remember that it's just tolerance for my general fatness/boringness/ugliness talking and that you aren't serious.

Now you'll have to remember never to ask me! We can't have any backslide here.

[Aaarg]

also don't mention samurai!

[Zhukov]

I honestly have no idea who hates me on i-mockery. Sometimes over the years people who I thought tolerated me have surprised me.

One good thing is that I can leave for six months then come back, and people don't ask me where I have been, man.

[Kitsa]

I just assume I'm hated until told otherwise. More accurately, I assume it's that "worse than hatred" indifference, like, "I don't care enough to hate you, I don't give a shit if you live or die, bitch, that's how hardcore I am". Because everyone here has to be so extreme.

I think the most successful/interesting posters are ones like Misdemonar that remain ALL MYSTERIOUS-LIKE, because familiarity breeds contempt and so on. Also, everything is better in caps.

[Zhukov]

I just assume I'm hated until told otherwise.

This is pretty close to what I have, I suppose. What a lovely community this is.


I used to think the entire internet was like this, since i-mockery was my first real interation with the online world. It actually turns out that the rest of the internet is different, and I just got unlucky on mny first shot.

[Kitsa]

Yeah, which is why there's a neverending procession of doe-eyed newcomers to rip apart.

[MetalMilitia]

I like Zhukov because he shares my interests in World War 2!

Talking of which have you read the book Though the Maelstrom (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Through-Maelstrom-Soldiers-Eastern-1942-1945/dp/0700616055)?

I'm about half way though and so far it's great, the Eastern Front is by far the most interesting part of World War 2 as far as I'm concerned.

[Kitsa]

I like MM because he likes cats sorta. And I like Zhukov because I don't find anything about Zhukov particularly objectionable.

[Zhukov]

I didn't mean this to be a way to fish for compliments. But now that I am:

Metal Militia, I like you to.

But not as much as the Eastern Front, so I guess I will check that book out. I'm still slogging through War and Peace, but it is so much like work now that I take regular breaks to read other things. I will honestly see if I can find that. I am also impressed by your cat, your computer intelligence, and your possibly long hair.

Kitsa, I don't find anything about you objectionable either. THANKS.

[Kitsa]

It's a love-in! imockey is now pussified and our mission is complete!

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/love-in.jpg

[Misdemonar]

FUCK YOU

[Dimnos]

:lol Yeah it was getting a little to warm and cuddly in here.

[Sam]

I HATE EVERYONE. >:

[kahljorn]

I didn't realize that asking you if something was in your textbook meant that we were best buddies or some shit to begin with. I don't know how you came to that conclusion at all.

[Sam]

EXCEPT FOR SHRUBFEST. :love

[kahljorn]

WHAT ABOUT STEWERT?

[kahljorn]

EVERYBODY SHOULD LOVE GENTLE, GENTILE STEWERT.

[Kitsa]

I didn't realize that asking you if something was in your textbook meant that we were best buddies or some shit to begin with. I don't know how you came to that conclusion at all.

Not buddies. But I tend to be less helpful to people who swing violently from "civil" to "dick" with no provocation.

[Tadao]

I didn't realize that asking you if something was in your textbook meant that we were best buddies or some shit to begin with. I don't know how you came to that conclusion at all.

It's an ancient Japanese ritual of courtship that was used when a samurai wanted to date a ninja.

[Sam]

Poor Stewert. :(

[Tadao]

He's not like the others.

[Tadao]

I might make it to the NIN/Janes Addiction show tonight.

[Dimnos]

I might make it to the NIN/Janes Addiction show tonight.

You suck!!!! I would be kicking people in the nuts to get to that.

[Kitsa]

I get to watch American Idol tonight and call my mom to tell her who won.

Seeing as I hate American Idol, I'm going to bank on nothing being revealed until the last 10 mins or so- not sitting through all that "after the break" shit.

[Tadao]

I saw Jane's when they did the very first Lalapalooza tour, which was supposed to be the last show. IDK, I bet they still sound good. Lol, I forgot NIN was at that show too. All I remeber is Trent knocking over the keyboard players keyboard through the whole show. And then I saw the video for Pigs (I think) and he was doing it in the video as well. I guess it's his "thing".

[Dimnos]

Why even watch it at all. You know as soon as the show is over people MSN and Yahoo are going to have it posted all over the damn place.

[Dimnos]

Trent can go suck a dick for all I care. I have tried to go to a Janes Addiction concert 3 times and every time my tickets were sold out from under me. I have almost strangled people to death 3 times because of it. >:

[Kitsa]

Dimnos: you have a point.

[Kitsa]

Apparently the voice of Mickey Mouse just died. Apparently his wife is the voice of Minnie Mouse. Guess that used to work out well.

[Dimnos]

Apparently the voice of Mickey Mouse just died. Apparently his wife is the voice of Minnie Mouse. Guess that used to work out well.

Im surprised he was still kicking after all this time. :lol

[Tadao]

Why even watch it at all. You know as soon as the show is over people MSN and Yahoo are going to have it posted all over the damn place.

Because MSN and Yahoo don't provide half nekid women dancing in front of you.

[MetalMilitia]

The only Jane's Addition song I really like is Ocean Size. I'm probably going to be seeing NIN in August though.

[Tadao]

I would have loved to see the NIN/Bowie show, where they did NIN songs, the Bowie came out and they did the few NIN/Bowie songs, then it was all Bowie from there on.

[Aaarg]

dude, nin/bowie would be fucking awesome. one of my old co-workers had been to one of those shows. bitch!

It's an ancient Japanese ritual of courtship that was used when a samurai wanted to date a ninja.

i'm a ninja. . . want to date me?

[Tadao]

I am not a Samurai. I know how to wield a sword.

[Kitsa]

Who would date a ninja? You'd never know when he was coming.

[Kitsa]

Weird. Apparently there was a gunman/lockdown at U California Irvine and I didn't see it in the news at all...whole thing came and went on twitter updates from people on campus.

[Tadao]

GOD DAMMIT! The show is at Irvine Meadows.

[Tadao]

http://www.ocregister.com/articles/possible-campus-irvine-2421637-message-gunman

[Kitsa]

Yeah, that's the first news story I've seen.

[Tadao]

Well, I hope he shoots me deaded.

[Kitsa]

http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23UCI

[kahljorn]

Not buddies. But I tend to be less helpful to people who swing violently from "civil" to "dick" with no provocation.Oh sorry I forgot that you were an innocent victim when you took a picture of me and modified it to insult me. Isn't this also a message board in which people are sometimes dicks? Better go cry about it.

Fuck you guys are stupid.

Especially considering that tadao has been portraying himself, at least it seems to me, as some master provocateur (which is code for guy who can't put up a fight but wants to seem like he's SO MANIPULATIVE and TRICKY hahahaha :rolleyes it's his satyagraha :lol ).

[executioneer]

Apparently the voice of Mickey Mouse just died. Apparently his wife is the voice of Minnie Mouse. Guess that used to work out well.
I WONDER IF THEY EVER DID THE VOICES DURING COITUS

[Tadao]

Kahl, get over me already. It is a forbidden love.

[kahljorn]

You're such a pussy, tadao. You can't even put up a good fight.

[kahljorn]

BUT DONT WORRY YOUR PSUEDO-APATHY WILL WIN THE DAY IN THE EYES OF OTHERS

[kahljorn]

YOU MUST CALCULATE YOUR EVERY MOVEMENT IF YOU WISH TO EMERGE VICTORIOUS

[kahljorn]

RIGHT NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME FOR ANOTHER COMMENT ABOUT FOOT STOMPING

ITS A PIVOTAL MOMENT FOR SUCH A REMARK

:lol this is hilarious

[Kitsa]

I did the picture well after you started being a dick. If you're being a dick for no good reason, you deserve whatever's coming to you. In my worthless fatuglybitch opinion.

[kahljorn]

Yea, but not to you. And who are you to judge who was being the biggest dick, dickbag? Mind your own business. Tadao was acting like an ignorant sap so I just gave him what was coming to him.

[Kitsa]

Are we back to the "chat thread is your private pissoir" thing again?

The dick thing, as I said, is my opinion. In my opinion, for no particular reason, you started behaving like a dick.

But no, really, tell us more about how beneath you we all are. That's not tired at all.

[kahljorn]

hey kitsa, you had the opportunity to shut the fuck up, but you kept talking.

[kahljorn]

I forgot that on this message people can act like ignorant fucks and not expect to be called on it. And also kahljorn isn't allowed to defend himself or talk shit on assholes.

Sorry I forgot. Please continue talking about stupid shit. Sorry for ruining your experience of the chat thread.

[Tadao]

RIGHT NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME FOR ANOTHER COMMENT ABOUT FOOT STOMPING

ITS A PIVOTAL MOMENT FOR SUCH A REMARK

:lol this is hilarious

Sorry I found some tasty kelp to go with my oysters. YOU SIR ARE A CHILD!

[Kitsa]

what a coincidence, I was just about to post the same about you.

[Aaarg]

I WONDER IF THEY EVER DID THE VOICES DURING COITUS

you know he would try to and it would just kill the mood and she'd get pissed and all "fuck you, fuck you if you think this is funny, fuck you" because she had a temper like that.

but then a few months later she'd pull out the minnie voice and he'd get pissed because of the double standard.

they had a pretty rough relationship.

[kahljorn]

Sorry I found some tasty kelp to go with my oysters. YOU SIR ARE A CHILD!

Sorry tadao you missed the magical moment :(

Hey, so anyway, what is your source on all of this samurai shit so I can read it?

[Kitsa]

So the UC Irvine guy was apparently some doof wandering the campus in fatigues and carrying a paintball gun. I hope the police takedown was severe, just on general fucking principle. What idiot walks around a school campus nowadays with fatigues and a gun?

[MetalMilitia]

It was probably in their contract that they would not, under any circumstances, use the voices during intercourse. Those voices belong to Disney Corporation!

[kahljorn]

I bet minnie mouse SOUNDED like minnie mouse during coitus. :lol I know of this one girl who sounds like a cartoon character when she's getting fucked. OOOO OoooOOoo OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! all in a crazy falsetto-like voice.

[kahljorn]

She also had a black clit and some nasty titties, and she always acted slutty BUT sophisticated and apathetic.
She also kind of looked like a bobblehead cause she had a gigantic head :O

[Esuohlim]

...two infractions and i didn't even say a word!


4. Do not reply to EVERYTHING "excessive reply combo"..
seriously? seriouussllllly? It was FOUR posts!

let's completely disregard the fact that it was my first night here and everything was new to me, i received an infraction for four posts in several hours in separate threads and topics?

is this how i-mockery operates, or are you just a smelly bonehead? >:

INTERNET ANGER

Plus he only received one infraction for one post.

Also, he's 15.

[Misdemonar]

INFRACTRATE HIS FACE

[Dimnos]

Smelly Bonehead. That is going to be my new favorite.

[Tadao]

Isn't being 15 here illegal? Ban him for 3 years.

[Kitsa]

how was the show?

[Tadao]

It we got to Orange County way too late, like 11pm and Janes was just rapping up. We figured NIN wouldn't start till at least 10pm. So we went out to Hollywood and ate Thai food.

[Kitsa]

oh well, it had to be a better time than being in the middle of some big crowd.

[Tadao]

I'm actually fine with large crowds of people, I can't stand the crowds of people where I'm supposed to be interested in them though. Like say parties.

[Pub Lover]

As for Publover you are a sad sad person for only knowing richard pryor for superman 3 and not even knwoing GEORGE Carlin......i would post youtube links to try and help you but since you wouldnt watch them regardless why even bother i merely shake my head and walk away from a sad human being like you

:lol

[Pub Lover]

He totally nailed me there, Guys. >:

[Pub Lover]

I just got a spam email with the title:

WE ARE GIVING OUT GIANT COCKS


...it's the sort of thing you can't help but try and picture.

Did you accept many cocks? :eek

Room for one more? :orgasm

Don't worry, it can't be called a Giant, no matter how generous the description. :x

[Tadao]

8=D

[Pub Lover]

The Kahl/T fight was good. :)

K won, but only because T didn't post a picture of his dick or a cat.

It held nothing to the old Dr Boogie martial arts fight he had with Ninjavenom/Bigmisterfrosty ( I don't remember the second guy but it was a great thread) :vet4lyfe

[Kitsa]

I never pursued the cocks thing. I'll always wonder what might have been, I guess.

[Sam]

It was wreckreation. :vet

[Sam]

THIS IS THE THREAD IN QUESTION: http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6650

[Kitsa]

:rolleyes

I love it when people are like NO, NO, NUH-UH when they argue...don't know why I find it so funny but it's all over that damn thread.

[Tadao]

The simple argument of "No it isn't fag" used to be effective a long long time ago.

[Sam]

No it wasn't, fag.

[Tadao]

Fuck you you little ignorant bastard, just look at the boards history.

[Zomboid]

YOU THINK YOU'RE A VET

YOU IGNORANT BASTARD!

[Tadao]

http://www.communityhealthmedia.com/media/catalog/product/cache/3/image/5e06319eda06f020e43594a9c230972d/p/b/pbps56.jpg

[Aaarg]

tits! tits! it's the blimp, frank, the blimp!

[Pub Lover]

Between them, brokensaint82 & 90's Child have double-teamed my concept of 'well known fringe culture" into "highly obscure unorthodoxy".

No wonder I can't leave the house! None of my interests overlap with those of the common man.

Well, apart from our mutual all-consuming lust for penis.

[Dimnos]

I would like mind powers to make people's monitors explode in their faces. >:

That was beautiful. :lol

[Pub Lover]

Before his prostate fell out, AChimp was the funniest guy here. :tear

[Shyandquietguy]

Jesus fucking Christ, I've only been on the internet for an hour and a half and I'm fucking bored.

See you guys later, I'm gonna change my oil. It's a fucking Overhead Crank V6!

[Pub Lover]

:pagebrak

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:pagebrak

[Tadao]

3 wolfs and a moon tshirt made it into the washington post today. :/

[Kitsa]

I have only gotten this site to load twice all day :(

[Kitsa]

double post

[Aaarg]

i am feeling generous tonight. i bought a bunch of food for my hosts because they are coming back sunday. i fed the kittens twice as much food! i also tossed extra crickets into the gecko's tank!

[Shyandquietguy]

Hey guys, I wanna talk about cars!

I got a bitchin' station wagon. I absolutely hope I can modify the engine in some manner though. I don't have money!!

It's a Buick!!

[Dimnos]

WE ARE WATCHING THE MOVIE! SHHHH!

[Tadao]

Cars are gay.

[Shyandquietguy]

Cars are not gay. :( They can't be gay!!! They are inanimate objects!!! But I do think they need loving!!!

[Zhukov]

Is that some kind of tank or armoured vehicle?

[Aaarg]

one time i saw a car having sex with another car and they were both female so yes cars are in fact gay.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Went to a friends concert in his attic last night. Ended up meeting some girl and talking to her after. She gave me her number to call her about a concert next week and then I found out she was 18. I should really really not call her.....right?

[Zhukov]

Why not? Is 18 illegal in your country, or are you 16 or something?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I'm 24. 18 is legal but really young. For me at least.

[Tadao]

Don't be dumb. If she is interesting and can hold a conversation, do it.

[Sam]

WHY WASTE YOUR TIME WHEN YOU GOT THAT SISTER OF YOURS.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

She might be. I was kind of drunk when I was talking to her. She told me her name at least 4 times and the 4th time I remembered it. She is a redhead which is always nice.

6 years might not be much of a gap but 18-24 gap is. I'll be all like "Hey, want to go to a bar to hang out?" and she'll be like "No, I have to go to homeroom tomorrow. Will you be my prom date?"

:(

[Tadao]

Which is great cause you get to ditch her and go to the bar. Dude, try looking on the bright side of things once in a while. :rolleyes

[Sam]

I'D DO IT.

[Tadao]

Now for answering your questions we would like another picture of your sister.

[Sam]

IN THE MEDIA PLAY SUIT

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:SISTERSPLOITATION

[Tadao]

I'll ploitation on your sister

Page brak better be of your sis >:

[Tadao]

You know you want to.

[Sam]

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii285/tadao_mockery/WebJunk/10ksis01.jpg

SEXPLOITATION

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

At work right now, don't have access.

[Tadao]

Your sis is hot, she has beefy arms, but that just means she can cook.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I'll have her cook you something....remind me to tell you about Ding Dong BJ's too.

[Tadao]

When Irish eyes are smilin',
Sure, it's like a morn in spring,
In the lilt of Irish laughter
You can hear the angels sing.

When Irish hearts are happy,
All the world seems bright and gay,
And when Irish eyes are smilin',
Sure, they steal your heart away.

[Sam]

WTF is Ding Dong BJs?

[Dixie]

a really shitty convenience store

[Tadao]

He said he was gonna tell me, not you Sam :rolleyes

[kahljorn]

10,000 guy I don't think you should date that 18 year old because it is such a wide age gap and she is still growing and maturing and you are starting to reach that point in your life when you need to meet similarly matured women so that you can start to move into being an adult. plus its kind of like unfair she is 18 and doesn't even know what's going on in the world and here you are a TWENTyfouRYANOLD; with all the jokes and interesting conversational skills you've picked up she doesn't stand a chance against you. On your honor you can't take advantage of such a young lady.






:rolleyes

[Sam]

I WANT TO FUCKING KNOW.

[kahljorn]

OBVIOUSLY ITS A DING DONG DItCH BLOWJOB OR SOMe shit

[Sam]

I DON'T THINK I'D LIKE A DING DONG DITCH VERSION OF A BLOWJOBS. :(

[Tadao]

It's probably a Hostesses Ding Dong with BJ's BBQ sauce poured on top.

[Tadao]

"BEIJING – Chen Fuchao, a man heavily in debt, had been contemplating suicide on a bridge in southern China for hours when a passer-by came up, shook his hand — and pushed him off the ledge."

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Thanks Kahl. Ding Dong Blow Jobs:

She went over to a guys house once and as soon as she walked into she gave him head. I was like "Did you even make it through the doorway? Do you go to everyone's house like that? I bet instead of playing Ding Dong Ditch you play Ding Dong Blowjobs"

Her name is Corian.

She also hates the knock knock joke: "Knock knock. Who's There? Cori. Cori who? Blowjobs"

[Aaarg]

OzDlUUU7NsI

[Tadao]

Knock knock. Who's There? Cori. Cori who? Mrrrphph mrrphm mmmmmrphm.

[Sam]

JEEZ

[ZeldaQueen]

"BEIJING – Chen Fuchao, a man heavily in debt, had been contemplating suicide on a bridge in southern China for hours when a passer-by came up, shook his hand — and pushed him off the ledge."
I saw a video of that. It was hilarious (the guy did survive the fall).

[Kitsa]

I'm sure this has already made the rounds, but just in case:

http://www.amazon.com/Three-T-Shirt-Available-Various-Sizes/dp/B000NZW3IY/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Read reviews.

[Colonel Flagg]

I'm sure this has already made the rounds, but just in case:

http://www.amazon.com/Three-T-Shirt-Available-Various-Sizes/dp/B000NZW3IY/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Read reviews.

Very funny, but unrealistic. Now, if it were sharks instead of wolves, then I'd believe them. :eek

[Kitsa]

Were they supposed to be realistic?

[Zhukov]

Hahaha. Loves it.

I've seen a few wolves shirts, but by far the most popular here is a large, black t-shirt with Bruce Lee on it. That's what the scum of MY community wear.

[Kitsa]

I wish I could find that pic of the redneck wearing a NEVER FORGET 9-11-02 shirt.

I was almost sure it was in the boners.com archives under the heading NEVER FORGIT, but I can't find it.

[Zhukov]

I know you guys have rednecks, but what about in the cities? What do you call the unemployed, uneducated, oft alcoholic elements? The ones that contribute nothing to society but crime. We call them Bogans (http://www.themercury.com.au/images/uploadedfiles/editorial/pictures/2008/11/13/bogan-big.jpg), they have Chavs in England (http://farm1.static.flickr.com/33/39519414_64230809bf.jpg), and Neds in Scotland (http://http://www.glasgowsurvival.co.uk/pictures/nedGal36.jpg), but they are all the same.

[Kitsa]

Yeah. Well, theoretically there are "rednecks" everywhere, especially after the whole Jeff Foxworthy phenomenon that made it some sort of noble thing. I'm not sure what to call the rest, other than Walmart Enthusiasts.

Where I used to live, there was a radio show that featured a faux-redneck ranting about this and that. He referred to himself as "Uh-MURR-kin", so ever since I've been referring to Redneck-Americans as uh-MURR-kins.

I saw a documentary that claimed "redneck" came from the red bandannas worn by West Virginian men who took it upon themselves to defend families from anti-union intimidators. But I don't know.

I'm also familiar with Pikeys and Culchies. :P

[Colonel Flagg]

Back when I lived in the city, we called them ventmen.

[Zhukov]

Well, I always figured that red-neck had something to do with working out on the farm all day and getting a sunburnt neck.

COULD BE WRONG.

[Colonel Flagg]

(to the tune "would you like to wish on a star"):

Oh would you like to sleep on a vent?
Never work and never pay rent.
And complain about the government -
Or would you rather drag a bag?

This brought back some crazy-ass memories...

[Kitsa]

When I think of vents, I think of the ones in Chicago that blasted hot air up from the trains and smelled somewhere halfway between Campbell's soup and diseased shit. :(

I have some good memories of Chicago life, but that wasn't one.

I'll be back later, got a friend's birthday lunch to attend.

[Womti]

Never work and never pay rent.


no, but I bet YOU would :\

[Dimnos]

Well, I always figured that red-neck had something to do with working out on the farm all day and getting a sunburnt neck.


This is what I always thought it was.

[Kitsa]

What I got was from some discovery/history/learning channel show about the history of rednecks. But then on wikipedia I don't see much about the red-bandanna army, so who knows.

[Dimnos]

REDNECK

–noun 1.an uneducated white farm laborer, esp. from the South.2.a bigot or reactionary, esp. from the rural working class.
–adjective 3.Also,red-necked. narrow, prejudiced, or reactionary: a redneck attitude.

:lol This was actually on dictionary.com

[Kitsa]

So this restaurant I went to for lunch...one of the fanciest and most expensive in the area, right?

- A long blonde hair in the bread basket.

- A short black hair wrapped in the napkin with my silverware.

- A hair of unknown etiology in my sandwich (I spit it into the napkin and didn't look, I about puked).

Ugh.

[Tadao]

I hate fancy restaurants. I like the little crappy ones who need my business.

[Pub Lover]

Hair falls out? Quick! Wash your hands!

[Kitsa]

Hair falls out. Most people can either wear something over it or glance at the food and pick a hair out of it before it goes to the customer.

I hate finding hair in food. It makes me gag. I'm so paranoid about it that I scrub the kitchen every time I cook... shower, change my clothes, and even put cake batter through a sieve to get out any hairs or pieces of eggshell.

But at least there isn't any hair in my fucking food.

[Pub Lover]

What happens if you're using your fucking food and it gets in your hair?

Do you have to start over? Do you carry on but can't climax?

Tadao says you're not shaven, but I think that is a route you should explore.

[Kitsa]

Your trolling is getting really clumsy.

So what do you do when you find a hair in food at a restaurant? Do you gobble it down to prove to everyone how hardcore you are?

[Dimnos]

Pub probably brings his own hair to add to other peoples food when he goes out.

[Pub Lover]

I was pondering the prowess of my trolling after that post as well. ;)

I don't go outside, Guys. How can I go to restaurants? :rolleyes

When I get hairs in food I put it to the side of my plate and finish my meal. I have been called gross for this, but it is because I am really cheap and refuse to waste food. :x

[Kitsa]

I'm too fat anyway so I just didn't finish the sandwich.

[Dr. Boogie]

It's an excuse not to go back to an expensive restaurant.

[Kitsa]

The restaurant wasn't my choice anyway, it was more something I went along with to make someone else happy. So no problem with me if we never return.

Last time they assured me a dessert had no honey in it, I ate the dessert, then my throat closed up and I had to medicate for an allergic reaction. I checked their website and, sure enough, "honey butter". I vowed never to return after that, but certain insistent parties overrode my decision :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Hairs in food at restaurants aren't always bad things. They sometimes equal free steaks and gift cards.

[Dr. Boogie]

You went back to a restaurant after they lied about what's in their food?

[Kitsa]

I don't think it was a lie so much as the server was a dingbat and pulled the "oh, I'm sure it doesn't have honey" easy out.

[Dimnos]

Last time they assured me a dessert had no honey in it, I ate the dessert, then my throat closed up and I had to medicate for an allergic reaction. I checked their website and, sure enough, "honey butter". I vowed never to return after that, but certain insistent parties overrode my decision :(

Wait... you went back after this? :confused: I have to say this last trip was a huge success after last time. If they keep this up you better go back for a third time, I bet they put Emeril out of business.

[Dr. Boogie]

I'm sure he would've been quite embarrassed if you had died right there. Talk about a faux pas.