I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[captain516]

yup

[Fathom Zero]

http://img688.imageshack.us/img688/941/gyah.png

[Grislygus]

Wait, does she mean actual udders drawn on fucktarded furry porn, or is she just a self hating feminist who refers to tits as udders

I am confused

[Fathom Zero]

I dunno. Everything on there is a bit retarded.

[Fathom Zero]

I wanted to piss myself off so I looked up "heteronormative." Unfortunately, there aren't many entries. Still pissed me off enough, though.

[Tadao]

I'm going to L.A. in two weeks just in time for Carmageddon apparently.

LAX or Burbank?

[Esuohlim]

http://i.imgur.com/JTQp7.png

[kahljorn]

are there any exercises thatll make me cock bigger

[Chojin]

no. there are none that will make you find love, either.

[ThrashO]

No thats not true I trained for months and now i can put a piece of popcorn on the tip and flick it into my mouth.

[Chojin]

when i said 'you', i was talking to kahl

everyone else finds love through the deadlift

[Zomboid]

Nevermind.

[Fathom Zero]

2L5wxIXjOyk

[kahljorn]

Chojin i think that you are wrong about exercises making your cock bigger and this is direct evidence that you are ignorant about true fitness

[Grislygus]

...An angel of the Lord appeared to him in a blazing fire out of a bush. He gazed and there was a bush all aflame, yet the bush was not consumed. Moses said "Oh Jesus, get the water nigga!!!" (Exodus 3:1-4).

R370RD 7 hours ago 32

:lol

[Otto]

Proof that I still do art:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v488/Arnoldreap/benway.jpg
You have no idea how close this self-portrait came to being a nude.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

LAX or Burbank?

Lax. Those ignorant fucks.

[k0k0]

are there any exercises thatll make me cock bigger

Tie your dick to the roof and jump off. Will make your dick longer by the time you touch the ground. Extra points if it's a building.

[ThrashO]

If you can tie your dick to anything I don't think you need it to be any bigger.

(ima try dat tho)

[kahljorn]

i have a very reasonable and achievable goal of penis building to be able to bludgeon people with it

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

You need to start by having a badass name for your penis.
Like rambone, general rection, papa boner, dong giovani, frankensteins monster penis, etc.

Mine is bonesaw.

[Sam]

i have a very reasonable and achievable goal of penis building to be able to bludgeon people with it

Are you going to hold someone at dick-point and steal their digital camera?

[Otto]

You need to start by having a badass name for your penis.
Like rambone, general rection, papa boner, dong giovani, frankensteins monster penis, etc.

Mine is bonesaw.

Killdozer

[Esuohlim]

I-Mockery Chat (FITNESS THREAD'S COCK-RELATED POST DUMP)

[executioneer]

sorry dogg i can't edit the title anymoer

guess it's all up to the lil korean kids hahaha

[Chojin]

you're an admin, why not

i just tried it; maybe it takes a bit for the database to catch up?

[executioneer]

i dunno. last time i edited the title it didn't stick :/

[kahljorn]

GOLDONG

REALLY BIG PENIS

THATS ALL I GOT

FUCK I JUST WATCHED THAHT NEW TRANSFORMERS MOVIE IT WAS SO FUCKING LONG LIKE MY DICK I GUESS I COULD CALL MY DICK TRANSFORMER 9 OR WHATEVER CAUSE ITS NINE INCHES AND CAN TURN INTO A BLUDGEONING DEVICE

COCKTIMUS PRIME

[kahljorn]

WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL MY POSTS IN THIS THREAD

CHOJIN TAKES HIS RETARDED FITNESS THREAD SO SERIOUSLY

TYPICAL FAT PERSON BEHAVIOR. FIRST ITS FOOD THEN ITS BEING A COCKSUCKER. ALWAYS GOTTA HAVE SOMETHING IN YOUR FAT SUCKING MOUTH

[Esuohlim]

I-Mockery Chat (HAHAHA, THE ADMINS CAN'T CHANGE THE TITLE)

:picklehat :picklehat :picklehat

[kahljorn]

CHOJIN VOTED FOR PROP 800 TO NOT DISTURB THE SANCTITY OF HIS STUPID FITNESS THREAD CAUSE ITS THE ONLY THING IN HIS LIFE THAT HE THINKS HES GOOD AT

TO PROTECT THREADS WE TAKE SERIOUSLY FROM HARMFUL JOKESTERS

[kahljorn]

HOW COME WHEN PEOPLE LOSE WEIGHT THEY TURN INTO ASSHOLES

ITS LIKE THE FAT IS THE ONLY GOOD BONE IN THEIR BODY

[Esuohlim]

kahljorn you flew too close to the sun :(

[Chojin]

http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/umadseagull.jpg

[Chojin]

feel free to tardrage in the chat thread, but considering the fitness thread is for actual advice i'd rather not make people wade through several pages of hilarious penis jokes and pictures of cheeseburgers

[Fathom Zero]

http://img832.imageshack.us/img832/9128/tramsormers.gif

[Chojin]

kahljorn why are you so quiet all of a sudden

there is no need to be sullen about this

[Zuggernaut]

probly cause your fat vagina banned me :lol you're the one thats mad

[Fathom Zero]

feel free to tardrage in the chat thread, but considering the fitness thread is for actual advice i'd rather not make people wade through several pages of hilarious penis jokes and pictures of cheeseburgers

I-MOCKERY: A PLACE FOR ACTUAL THINGS

[Zuggernaut]

ooohhh nooo heee made fun of my fitness thread THIS FITNESS THREAD IS THE ONLY SERIOUS THREAD ON THIS MESSAGE BOARD go stomp your feet

[Zuggernaut]

chojin really did turn into a fat nonfat asshole

[Chojin]

zuggernaut, if you find kahljorn please tell him that his parents love him very much and it's okay to come back home

[Chojin]

zuggernaut are you there

[Guitar Woman]

Chojin used LIMIT BREAK: SPARDOT MODE

[Zuggernaut]

yea hey

[Zuggernaut]

hows it going? some exfatdude just inconvenienced me momentarily

[Chojin]

Chojin used LIMIT BREAK: SPARDOT MODE

i don't even know what that means

[Guitar Woman]

Good, you probably would have banned me for it.

[Zuggernaut]

are you ashamed of the fact that you banned me cause youre so mad

[Chojin]

i banned you because you were going to keep making me move posts, and it was the easier solution

apparently you are mad enough to keep it up though and circumvent an IP ban, so I'll just come back in a few hours to DFE when you're all tuckered out.

might as well make you register another account though

[Zuggernaut]

chojin you should be banned from the being a fat nonfat asshole who takes him self too seriously part of the internet

[Chojin]

no u

[Fathom Zero]

This was a chuckleworthy exchange. Chojin, you foster an unparalleled sense of funny.

[Grislygus]

Considering that i spew forth a mountain of overly pontificated, self-indulgent shit every time anyone asks me an art question, I understand chojin's SERIOUS PASSION for a single area of expertise and will offer a high five

[Fathom Zero]

i need a time machine so i can go back and blow kahljorn like i should've

like i always wanted to

[Grislygus]

ddr? pfft.

[Grislygus]

I BET YOU SWEAT LIKE A PIG EVERY TIME YOU HEAR THE NEVERENDING STORY SONG, LIKE SOME KIND OF FREAKISH PAVLOVIAN RESPONSE

[Fathom Zero]

I'm chewing on glass and eating my fingers. I'm not the one who's run out of lies.

[Grislygus]

that's because it was the only song in the whole series that doesn't make you want to commit murder with a sharpened rake

[Grislygus]

STOMP TO MY BEAT STOMP TO MY BEAT BEAT HA HA WE'VE GONE BACK IN TIME TO THE DDR CRAZE... YOU WANT TO HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS? TOO BAD, THEY GOT DDR AND ALL YOU'RE GONNA HEAR ALL DAY IS STOMP TO MY BEAT

[Esuohlim]

hey fatchojin are you good friends with fatsatan or maybe FATfatsatan, idk

[Fathom Zero]

that's because it was the only song in the whole series that doesn't make you want to commit murder with a sharpened rake

ANAL FUCKFEST
THRILL OLYMPICS
SAVAGE, SCOURGE
SUPPLY, AND SANCTIFY

SO WHAT?

[Grislygus]

hey fatchojin are you good friends with fatsatan or maybe FATfatsatan, idk

yeah and how's skinnygus an kahlnthefenceaboutsexchangesandhormonesjorn doing

[Grislygus]

oh wow, n/m, WAAAAY back then

[Grislygus]

before FS, damn. Skinnygus was prob 16 at the time

[Grislygus]

So actually he was fatgus on the cusp of breaking into his new identity as skinnygus

[Fathom Zero]

This has been illuminating.

[Chojin]

k so i clicked two buttons and deleted all 22 of kahl's new posts

i hope i didn't miss anything scandalous

[Chojin]

This was a chuckleworthy exchange. Chojin, you foster an unparalleled sense of funny.

+1 zugs for compliments

[Chojin]

man now i miss 'stomp to my beat', it isn't on any of the new mixes

[Chojin]

sry kahl, little buddy. prz reregister

[LordSappington]

I don't like change :(

[ThrashO]

teach me the fat

[Pram Maven]

ThrashO- here's one way...

4a3R0YuUjQg

...you'll want some way to stop expanding, though, or you'll explode into a pile of dirty lettuce.

[Chojin]

STOMPIN-SA-STOMPIN-SA-STOMPIN-STOMPIN TO MY BEAT

[Chojin]

see, the database just takes time to update the thread title

[Fathom Zero]

people reblog my things! it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

[Chojin]

RT @FATHOMZERO my life is so hard no one understands me

[Fathom Zero]

My problem is that everyone understands me. :verticalslice

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

probly cause your fat vagina banned me :lol you're the one thats mad

:lol

[Pram Maven]

They banned me FOREVER because I tried to stick up for him and got mistaken for you.

[bubbles]

My family got us banned from two different restaurants for being PIGS. One for eating wings off someones plate. Another for eating a LOT off a buffet for a wedding we were not invited to... ugh

[executioneer]

see, the database just takes time to update the thread title
except it was milhouse who edited it :/

[Esuohlim]

:picklehat

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

"MILHOUSE BACKWARDS AGAIN?"

"YEAH! AGAIN AND AGAIN!"

HUWOOT. KAAHHH. AAAAHHHHHHH

:kungfunoises

:williessignature

[Chojin]

except it was milhouse who edited it :/

yeah but he was the last one to do it

[Chojin]

My family got us banned from two different restaurants for being PIGS. One for eating wings off someones plate. Another for eating a LOT off a buffet for a wedding we were not invited to... ugh

tell george to finish his story

[Esuohlim]

yeah but he was the last one to do it

Yeah, but when I do it it happens instantly, which lends me to believe that you two aren't actually changing anything at all

[bubbles]

Quote:
tell george to finish his story


He is off tomorrow and will work on it :)

[executioneer]

Yeah, but when I do it it happens instantly, which lends me to believe that you two aren't actually changing anything at all
that is so goddamn weird

[ThrashO]

Quote:

wrong

[bubbles]

how do you quote...:confused:

[Aaarg]

i tried inviting all my old friends down to visit me by trying to sell them on a smoky mountain vacation because really the southern apps is one of the most beautiful places in the country by far but all of my old friends are jobless or have jobs they can't take time off without much trouble.

fux.

[Aaarg]

also every post has a quote button at the bottom

[bubbles]

also every post has a quote button at the bottom

how simple hehe

[Aaarg]

YOU DID IT

[bubbles]

http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/281630_117183025042146_100002513483464_135766_4074 747_n.jpg

YAY!!!!!!!!

[LordSappington]

My best mate had the hots for a girl, who's led him on for months. We told him she was bad news, but he didn't listen, and she shot him down tonight and tried to still keep him as like a friend she can confide all her shit to (to basically keep him on her leash). So, I sent her a message telling her to kindly fuck off and be a whore somewhere else.
Then, a bit later, a different friend and I went on our Minecraft server, which she also played on, and blew the SHIT out of her house; the very house she spent hours on to build. It was mostly just an excuse to ruin someone's shit without being too big an asshole, and we didn't think she'd be so dumb as to keep using the same server. Well, lo and behold, not thirty minutes later she logs in, and finds herself spawned inside a dark cave/crater where her house was, and she flipped the fuck out, calling us horrible bastards and other uninspiring names.
This was a good end to the day.

[Grislygus]

That's a sad story, man

[Fathom Zero]

pBZs_Py-1_0

ROCK THE FUCK OUT

[Fathom Zero]

If there was a fatterchojin, I think he'd look like this:

onyavFv8flo

[Chojin]

My best mate had the hots for a girl, who's led him on for months. We told him she was bad news, but he didn't listen, and she shot him down tonight and tried to still keep him as like a friend she can confide all her shit to (to basically keep him on her leash). So, I sent her a message telling her to kindly fuck off and be a whore somewhere else.
Then, a bit later, a different friend and I went on our Minecraft server, which she also played on, and blew the SHIT out of her house; the very house she spent hours on to build. It was mostly just an excuse to ruin someone's shit without being too big an asshole, and we didn't think she'd be so dumb as to keep using the same server. Well, lo and behold, not thirty minutes later she logs in, and finds herself spawned inside a dark cave/crater where her house was, and she flipped the fuck out, calling us horrible bastards and other uninspiring names.
This was a good end to the day.

to paraphrase:

>dude stalks girl
>she's not interested
>dude can't take a hint
>she finally mans up and just tells him
>you call her names and blow up her things
>she is justifiably upset

my hero

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

That girl is such a chojina.

[creeposaurus]

I went on our Minecraft server, which she also played on, and blew the SHIT out of her house; the very house she spent hours on to build

:lol awesome

[Grislygus]

I actually happen to own Shadow Hunters in both the japanese and german Version (Jäger der Nacht). A really really nice partygame but I agree, the more people play, the more fun it is. Clearly superior to all those "normal" Werewolf-hidden-team-games since no one has to leave the room or close his eyes when someone tries to identify someone else.


Btw, I never understood where the whole Werewolf versus Vampire matchup-stuff came from. I mean yeah, about the same geopgraphic origin but still, you don´t match up a sphinx versus a mummy, do you?

Vampires vs. Werewolves is Universal's legacy. It all started with Frankenstein meets the Wolfman, and then they just kept churning out crossover sequels from there in a set of "ensemble" films. The idea that ended up sticking in popular culture from all that was Dracula Versus The Wolfman, which was sucked up by pop culture osmosis and evolved into the cliche of vampires versus werewolves.

Yes, it's that simple and stupid. Has staying power because we love our villains fighting other villains in media; it's fun and interesting. Besides, fifteen year olds think it's really cool, and the arrested development inherent to the modern 'Geek Culture' means that they grow into thirty year olds who STILL think it's really cool.

I remember a couple years back, finding out the music reviewer at the college paper was a writer, and I was psyched. I love hearing people's stories, and no one else was in the room, so we could actually talk about it.

He then told me all about this whole thing, a sloppy, multigenerational epic about vampire clans (has to be a fucking clan, right?) versus werewolf clans, with the added twist that vampires used to be elves!!! followed by the goddamned enormous backstory of the Vampires Formerly Known as Elves.

This guy was twenty five years old, was under the delusion that it wasn't completely terrible and embarrassing.

[Grislygus]

I will never forget already regretting I asked, having to wait in the room for another twenty five minutes for class to start, and already having listened to this crap for fifteen minutes, doing everything I could to look interested because he was a friend... and he pauses, looks sideways at me like a magician about to do an awesome trick, points his finger in the air and says "now... the thing about vampires is, they're corrupted elves".

[LordSappington]

Speaking as a huge fucking nerd, I enjoy arguments like these (Vampires vs Werewolves, coolest superheros, etc), but there's a line between "Arguing for fun and interest" and "Oh god I'm a huge man-child look at all my figurines"

[Grislygus]

Cool story bro

[b_squared]

And corrupted elves are really aliens.
I dont mind monster mash ups as long as they are fighting each other. It's when they add the stupid forbidden love aspect in them that it becomes so awful.

[Colonel Flagg]

I will never forget already regretting I asked, having to wait in the room for another twenty five minutes for class to start, and already having listened to this crap for fifteen minutes, doing everything I could to look interested because he was a friend... and he pauses, looks sideways at me like a magician about to do an awesome trick, points his finger in the air and says "now... the thing about vampires is, they're corrupted elves".

The thing is, even though you may have wanted to gouge your own eyes out then, you now have a REALLY GREAT STORY TO TELL. :winning

[Aaarg]

one time a 30 year old virgin i worked with was arguing with nobody (because nobody cared but he was still bitching) about how much cooler dragons are than lizards (wtf). i told him "you know what's better about lizard? they exist."

this guy has several dragon statuettes (yea!) in his house. one time his cat knocked one off the shelf and he spanked it.

also he was telling me that he has like 50 empty boxes of mountain dew code red 12-packs in his kitchen.

[Grislygus]

:lol you should have taken him seriously and pissed him off by saying that classical dragons are ridiculous and nonsensical, cited Terry Pratchett, and then gone off about the evolutionary wonder that is the komodo dragon as condescendingly as possible

[Grislygus]

and then u claim that sierra mist is better than mountain dew

[Aaarg]

another time he said that eastern dragons are stupid. actually he probably said chinese dragons. i just had to let that one go.

another time he went to great lengths to explain why ghostbusters is awesome because i said i'd never seen ghostbusters. i let him talk, and then i said "all right, but the reason i've never watched ghostbusters is that i have no interest in ghostbusters."

i think this guy ate frozen pizza every night. one time a certain brand was on a good sale and he bought like 10 boxes. a few days later he lost power for two days and had to throw them all away - and the sale was over.

[Pentegarn]

and then u claim that sierra mist is better than mountain dew

It's not? :confused:

[MarioRPG]

I never got the whole Mountain Dew as a nerd beverage thing. Maybe it's because I haven't tasted it in at least 10 years.

[Aaarg]

he's not really a nerd. well he's sort of a nerd in that he loves anime and his favorite show of all time is buffy the vampire slayer and he's way into dragons.

but he doesn't really have the benefits of being a nerd. he's not even hip to the internet. one time he was talking to me about "indies games" and was explaining one to me that he couldn't remember the name of. "is it iji?" "yeah, that's it! how did you know?"

is it weird that i've worked with at least two 30 year-old virgins? is it weird that i know i've worked with at least two 30 year-old virgins?

[Otto]

On the subject of nerds: Me and and a couple of my friends started a Japanese Film Club when we were in boarding school, so we'd be able to show Japanese b-horror movies, Kurosawa films, etc. We had out first meeting and showed the film Tampopo and then abandoned the club because the film nerds were the minority of the attendees, the majority were greasy anime nerds with cat ears and anime shirts who were upset we didn't show the kawaii animu bullshit they expected. Fuck those people.

[Fathom Zero]

Hey Otto

http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/9702/hausucta1091a3w285.jpg (http://www.criterion.com/shop_products/69-mens-house-t-shirt)

[Otto]

Hey Otto

http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/9702/hausucta1091a3w285.jpg (http://www.criterion.com/shop_products/69-mens-house-t-shirt)

I just came in my pants.

Seriously, I need to order a copy of that movie.

[Aaarg]

that shirt is awesome. my friend bought it and i was pissed off because... i want it.

also have you watched kuroneko? i loved onibaba.

[Fathom Zero]

Criterion makes the Bluray and DVD versions these days. They just coincidentally sell the shirt. I didn't know that Criterion had an online store, let alone sold anything besides movies, until I looked up House and saw that shirt.

Srsly love that movie.

[Otto]

I think I'll have to check the hipster record shop a few towns over to see if they started carrying copies of Hausu, since that's where I got my Criterion copies of Naked Lunch, Crumb, and Fear and Loathing.

[Fathom Zero]

"Hugh Hefner was pronounced dead at the hospital today. His death was ruled accidental after he succumbed to injuries sustained from falling into a barbecue pit unattended."

[Otto]

I almost looked that up to see if it was true, but then I remembered that I don't give a a shit, since the newest issue of Playboy that I own is from around 1975. Same goes for Rolling Stone (I do read their website for my Matt Taibbi fix, though.)
:pagebrak

[Fathom Zero]

That's good, coz I was just fuckin' with y'all.

[Kitsa]

I think you all need a dose of Spandy Andy (http://spandyandy.com/).

[executioneer]

"Hugh Hefner was pronounced dead at the hospital today. His death was ruled accidental after he succumbed to injuries sustained from falling into a barbecue pit unattended."
sounds like something they'd post on kim gordon's real age

[Grislygus]

that shirt is awesome. my friend bought it and i was pissed off because... i want it.

also have you watched kuroneko? i loved onibaba.

I was so pissed when kuroneko started being well known on the internet. I was so proud of my region 3 dvd

[Grislygus]

Now it's all "why do you have a region 3 dvd" and I'm all "it was obscure at one point. NO MORE QUESTIONS"

[Grislygus]

Then I cry and clutch my Dust Devil dvd to my chest

[Fathom Zero]

Hahaha, Dust Devil. That's funny.

[Otto]

I used to be proud of my bootleg VHS recordings of the "Dogville Comedies" (Early sound films that were parodies of then-contemporary films starring dogs wearing clothes with creepily dubbed voices) which was almost always played when my friends and I would get stoned, and I just found out that they've released them on dvd. I almost feel bad abandoning my original tape :(.

[WhiteRat]

It's hard to find a real fat 'gina these days as skinny designer 'ginas are all the rage. Nice to see a throwback to the old "fat" days, Chojina!

[Grislygus]

AND IT TURNS OUT EVERYBODY IN ALL OF ASIA KNOWS ABOUT DRUNKEN WU TANG >:

you can find it on fuckign youtube now, the internet is annihilating my movie fanatic street cred

[Chojin]

43 deleted kahl posts and counting. Someone is the maddest.

The rules say we should permaban if someone evades a ban, but because I know it's just your hormone treatments flaring up, I'll just extend it by a week every time you come back before it's up. DETENTION EVERY DAY.

you mess with the bull, buster, you get the horns

http://rossotron.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/6a00d4142121106a4700e398a6e0990004.jpg

Btw I didn't do anything to prevent you from making new accounts. Be less emotional, honey.

[Aaarg]

yeah dude drunken wu tang is on netflix

stick to weird foreign animation because nobody gives a fuck and if it's chinese people just pass it off assuming it's anime. nezha conquers the dragon king, havoc in heaven, secrets of the heavenly book, the golden monkey king defeats the evil. fuck yeah, shanghai studios was awesome.

also feherlofia, but anybody who has seen feherlofia loves feherlofia.

[Dixie]

i just taught my mom to use email.
for 2 weeks she was telling me her email was broken.
she was typing the entire email in the subject line and trying to send blank emails.
i should get a nobel peace prize for the amount of patience exerted in that exercise.

[Kitsa]

I saw a guy walking down the sidewalk today and I swear he looked like Chojin. And for some reason, all I could think of was COME AT ME BRO

[WhiteRat]

Ha, reminds me of this:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/getting-mom-onto-internet-a-sisyphean-ordeal,1404/

[Grislygus]

yeah dude drunken wu tang is on netflix

I noticed.

I <3 Renee Lalou, and remain pissed that Time Masters is STILL on my "saved" que on Netflix after four years. Youtube can't cut it, I want to watch it on a TV

Loved feherlofia, the first few minutes I watched it I was itching to turn it off, but couldn't, and then I just sat and stared for fucking ever

[Aaarg]

i don't even think netflix has a listing for gandahar

i remember watching fantastic planet at 3am on some cable channel in like 1999

[Ex Leper]

Is anybody interested in buying old issues of Starlog?

Update: I just got an offer for all 53 of them nevermind

[Esuohlim]

Engagement photos are so fucking stupid. It's getting to a point where I'm seeing a new batch every damn day on facebook and it's like they all picked the exact same location

[Kitsa]

My dryer crapped out on me and I had to buy a new one. Now I'm waiting for it to be delivered and it is way fucking boring.

:(

cool story kitsa

[Aaarg]

what the fuck are engagement photos? is that something that came about because of facebook?

a new dryer would be pretty sweeeeeeeeeeet though.

[Fathom Zero]

I found out I was denied over $10,000 in financial aid because I didn't send somebody a letter two years ago and nobody made mention of it to me. So I'm faxing the letter today. The man in me should just scrawl WTF in big letters on paper and fax that instead.

But it's probably better this way.

[Zhukov]

I've just been on an incredible adventure.

[Fathom Zero]

That's nice.

Get a new girlfriend, yet?

[Aaarg]

WB ZHUCKOV

[Zhukov]

That's nice.

Get a new girlfriend, yet?

Nah.

They're playing "My boomerang wont come back" on the radio. It's probably the most racist song I've ever heard.

[Chojin]

I found out I was denied over $10,000 in financial aid because I didn't send somebody a letter two years ago and nobody made mention of it to me. So I'm faxing the letter today. The man in me should just scrawl WTF in big letters on paper and fax that instead.

But it's probably better this way.

delegate and senatorial scholarships?

same shit happened to me, only i got denied when i applied

[Fathom Zero]

Not even that amazing. It's a year's worth of aid from the FAFSA. And it wasn't the gov. that fucked it up - it was my school.

The thing is that I couldn't have done worse my first semester if I had gone on a shooting spree at my school, so my academic progress was questionable after that. Thus, they put ALL financial aid on hold.

Not that they bothered to tell me this in any of the many frantic phone calls, nor the process to remove such a thing a year and a half later. After I've been regularly getting high marks and money has become more and more of an issue for me. Naw, telling me when it would have been prudent was too fucking germane for them.

[elx]

so I guess it's not actually illegal to make people work 12+ hours without a break or a lunch or anything, not so bad if you're in an office and stuff I guess but there should be something in place to protect service people from being taken advantage of. like construction workers/landscappers/etc.

[Chojin]

so I guess it's not actually illegal to make people work 12+ hours without a break or a lunch or anything, not so bad if you're in an office and stuff I guess but there should be something in place to protect service people from being taken advantage of. like construction workers/landscappers/etc.

it's illegal in the US

you are required to give people a 30 minute break if they work for over 5 hours

however you are not required to pay them for that break

[Zhukov]

I don't know about the land of the free, but it's illegal here unless the worker asks for it. There's something called the 8 hour day that unions fought for about 150 years ago, and workers are entitled to a 30-60 minute lunch break if they work more than 4 and a half hours.


I'm guessing you guys don't have that.

EDIT: OK you do. Good.

[elx]

federal law =/= state law (http://www.nclabor.com/wh/faqs.pdf)?

[Zhukov]

"Employees 18 years of age and older can be required to work as many hours as an employer wants."

Christ. Why isn't blood running in the streets of North Carolina? This really is beyond disgusting if it's true.

[Chojin]

yeah it might be state law, i've never bothered to check

[elx]

:(

[Dixie]

All the labor jobs I had in NC were long hours, but I only had to work a couple days a week. Most of the time there's a trade off. Work for 12 hours a day for 3 days and get 4 days off wasn't so bad. If they don't offer benefits, then you know the kind of company you're working for. Even better, NC is not a union-friendly state in most cases. And Zhukov, employers can ask someone to work as many hours as they want, but those same employers do not want to pay overtime so they will likely not let people get overtime.

I'm in Pennsylvania now, and I have a security job in the mountains twice a year where I work 12-15 hour days on post for a week. No real breaks though. We eat and smoke on post. We just have to get someone to watch our post when we have to find a bathroom.

[executioneer]

federal law =/= state law (http://www.nclabor.com/wh/faqs.pdf)?

move to a good state

[Aaarg]

western north carolina is beautiful though!

DIXIE where in pennsylvania?

[Grislygus]

So I just found out that Japan got a gorgeous, full-blown Samurai Shodown RPG back in the day, where you could just perform the fighting moves instead of selecting them from a menu

Then I found out immediately that a fan translation for it was completed

Then i found out it wasn't actually completed, found a thread by the creator, which started in 2008 and continued right up to 06-24-2011, 10:45 PM, without any major developments from the person supposedly making it


Fuuuuuck

[Dixie]

In Philthadelphia these days :)

[Kitsa]

Working on a doozie for you guys.

[WhiteRat]

yeah it might be state law, i've never bothered to check

I'm fairly certain that in Minnesota it's a 15 minute break ever 4 hours if you are working 8 hours or more....or something like that. Either way I informed my boss of this one day. He reluctantly gave me the break because he expects someone to bar tend for 10 hours with no breaks. My boss is a giant prick.

[Grislygus]

Sorry, wasn't sure where to bitch about that. Sure as hell wasn't making a thread for it, but JESUS MY SOUL HURTS <3 SAMURAI SHODOWN OH GOD but I thought NC was the more civilized of the two underdeveloped halfstates that we refer to as the Carolinas?

[Grislygus]

Bartending for ten hours without a break? Busy or mellow bar, I don't know if I could handle the idiot fucking conversations that I hear in slow bars for ten hours

[Otto]

My dad once forced me to apply for a job at the local Wal-Mart, I got as far as the "we're not anti-union, we're pro-employee!" training video before I put on my hat and coat and walked out of the store (in the middle of the video). Cashiering at a smaller grocery store may suck, but at least they don't pull shit like Wal-Mart.

Gus: South and North Carolina are pretty much just the inbred conjoined twins that the United States makes live in the basement.

[WhiteRat]

Bartending for ten hours without a break? Busy or mellow bar, I don't know if I could handle the idiot fucking conversations that I hear in slow bars for ten hours

The days where i'm putting in 10 hours are when i'm banquet bartending a wedding or convention. I'm not actually standing there for 10 hours, more like 8.5 because it usually takes an hour and a half to set up. Some weddings can be extremely busy and when that happens you'll be working with someone else but when they are slow, which happens less often than not, you are standing there twiddling your thumbs staring at drunk hot chicks all night. Surprisingly that can get very boring and standing there doing nothing for several hours not making any money can be agonizing, especially considering that you generally hear the same fucking wedding and dance songs every wedding shift.

[Dixie]

I loved NC, crappy labor laws and all, but I love my fiance even more, so here I am.
Bartending for 10 hours seems like an endurance test. Bleeeeeeeeh

No worries Gus, your nerdgasms and heartbreaks are safe with us...mostly.

[Dixie]

My dad once forced me to apply for a job at the local Wal-Mart, I got as far as the "we're not anti-union, we're pro-employee!" training video before I put on my hat and coat and walked out of the store (in the middle of the video). Cashiering at a smaller grocery store may suck, but at least they don't pull shit like Wal-Mart.

Gus: South and North Carolina are pretty much just the inbred conjoined twins that the United States makes live in the basement.
Otto, I have to disagree. NC and SC have redeeming factors. You're thinking of Arkansas.

[Otto]

I live in SC, I'm pretty sure the reason I have to get a permit to dig is because the state is located directly above Hell.

[WhiteRat]

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/emoticons/pagebrak.gif

I loved NC, crappy labor laws and all, but I love my fiance even more, so here I am.
Bartending for 10 hours seems like an endurance test. Bleeeeeeeeh



Tomorrow i'm scheduled to work a wedding from 3:30pm to 2am. I've got someone else with me but if it's not busy I might be putting the gun to my head.

[Aaarg]

But North Carolina has a good portion of the Smoky Mountains, and the Blue Ridge, and the Great Balsams!

Fuck whatever's east of the mountains, I don't care about that, though!

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

so I guess it's not actually illegal to make people work 12+ hours without a break or a lunch or anything, not so bad if you're in an office and stuff I guess but there should be something in place to protect service people from being taken advantage of. like construction workers/landscappers/etc.

TEAMSTERS >:

[Chojin]

help me decide on a facebook pic prz

http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/110714_fb1.jpg http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/110714_fb1color.jpg http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/110714_fb2.jpg http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/110714_fb2color.jpg

idk why my awesome coolkid shades are fading into the background in the last two

[Aaarg]

it's facebook does it really matter

[Chojin]

um it is only the most important choice a man can make

how else am i supposed to impress the ladies

the smoochpile never stops getting taller

http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/110714_fb3.jpg http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/110714_fb4.jpg

[Dixie]

the yellow tinted one. jaundice is sooooo hot.

[elx]

but I thought NC was the more civilized of the two underdeveloped halfstates that we refer to as the Carolinas?
I guess it's just like any other state and has it's ups and downs + different things for different people - I love my area, because it works for me, but someone like Aarg would hate it here. Similarly, I think his region is full of backwards turtle-consuming hicks. I'm sure there are parts of the state that live up to the southern stereotype, but it's so rare that I haven't even experienced it.

....with South Carolina I experienced it just by driving through. :(

[Grislygus]

Pfft, out-of-staters and their ignorant assumptions. NORTHERN California is gross and underdeveloped; in contrast, Southern California is an entirely different place.







It's gross and overdeveloped without the infrastructure in place necessary to support it, and even if it could be supported it would remain an obscene, self-indulgent travesty

[Pentegarn]

help me decide on a facebook pic prz

http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/110714_fb1.jpg http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/110714_fb1color.jpg http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/110714_fb2.jpg http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/110714_fb2color.jpg

idk why my awesome coolkid shades are fading into the background in the last two

Now I know what I would see if I ever went into the Chojin Matrix

[Grislygus]

Now why the hell did you edit that, my joke is dead and ruined

WRY

[Chojin]

i ended up going with this one

http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/110714_fb4sbahj.jpg

pretty sweet artifacts huh

[Grislygus]

Well, you chose the correct picture, seeing as how it's JAWLINE JAWLINE LAWD HAVE MERCY MANLY JAWLINE

[Aaarg]

I guess it's just like any other state and has it's ups and downs + different things for different people - I love my area, because it works for me, but someone like Aarg would hate it here. Similarly, I think his region is full of backwards turtle-consuming hicks. I'm sure there are parts of the state that live up to the southern stereotype, but it's so rare that I haven't even experienced it.

....with South Carolina I experienced it just by driving through. :(

i liked your previous statement where you didn't make fun of western north carolina!

also it's the summer there's more fucking tourists here than residents anyway.

[Guitar Woman]

hey, check out the Capricorn fag

[Fathom Zero]

It's a pretty good book.

[Fathom Zero]

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_locubc6Xrg1qc24pno1_500.gif

[Fathom Zero]

http://img96.imageshack.us/img96/6504/tumblrlocwaj0q1u1qbee04.png

This has been my face for the past two weeks.

[Colonel Flagg]

I had a job where I had to visit northwestern SC about once a month for a year, a week at a time. It uniformly sucked ass. I actually began to enjoy business trips to Georgia and Alabama.

[Colonel Flagg]

Otto, I have to disagree. NC and SC have redeeming factors. You're thinking of Arkansas.

SC - Hilton Head
NC - Outer Banks
AR - Erik Estrada

[Dimnos]

help me decide on a facebook pic prz



Go with a landscape. Barring full account deletion that is.

[Fathom Zero]

hppy birthday maggiekarp

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

help me decide on a facebook pic prz

http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/110714_fb1.jpg

idk why my awesome coolkid shades are fading into the background in the last two

Just in time for the Deathly Hallows part 2.

[creeposaurus]

I liked the last non yellow one, the one that says "I WEAR COOL GLASSES INDOORS THEREFORE I AM COOL AND ACCOMPLISHED" DEFINITELY A FRIEND REQUEST PICTURE RIGHT THAR!

[Otto]

I got accused of being "Wunna dem yankees" by some toothless butter sculpture at work today. I feel so proud.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:pagebrak Proud ain't even the word for that.

[Chojin]

I liked the last non yellow one, the one that says "I WEAR COOL GLASSES INDOORS THEREFORE I AM COOL AND ACCOMPLISHED" DEFINITELY A FRIEND REQUEST PICTURE RIGHT THAR!

WHY I OUGHTA

[Phoenix Gamma]

I'M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD TOMORROW.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO PROBABLY RIDE THE AEROSMITH ROLLERCOASTER AT MGM BECAUSE IT'S THE BEST ROLLERCOASTER. AND I'LL HIGH FIVE STITCH I LOVE THE COLOR BLUE.

Seriously though I've been looking forward to this all week. And work pissed me off today so I want to have spite happiness now >:

[Fathom Zero]

Hollywood Tower rocks.

[Guitar Woman]

That Indiana Jones ride is the best one

[Fathom Zero]

THAT'S NOT A RIDE.

[Phoenix Gamma]

It's cool anyways. I hope they still have it because 2011 parents hate nazis and violence and fun :<

I hope we don't go to the Animal Kingdom. That shit's more boring than Epcot, and Epcot is educational.

[Fathom Zero]

Fuck, Epcot's great.

And the shit with all the dinosaurs in Animal Kingdom is mad decent.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Epcot is sweet.

[Phoenix Gamma]

Animal Kingdom is what happens when someone takes the Lion King and tries to make a whole park based on that. Then they realize "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK" and pad it out with more animals. Also, of all the parks, it's the hottest.

Epcot is cool for eating and shit cause it has all of those restaurants in the different countries. But the educational stuff is hokey. I think there was one ride I really wanted to go on, some test track thing, but it kept breaking down. Like, 3 times while we were waiting. It was a huge line too because it was the only ride at Epcot that was just plain fun and doesn't try to sneak in stuff to teach you about environments and shit.

Also, I know it's impossible, but I'm still going to try and pull the sword from the stone this year at the Magic Kingdom. It's like when a quarter is glued to something and you keep picking at it. Fucking Disney >:

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I remember going to epcot when I was young and they showed a video of a little american boy talking through his tellivision to a little chinese girl half a world away. Blew my 10 year old mind.

Shit is real as hell now dawg. Epcot :pickle

[Kitsa]

Epcot was always my favorite. I had a Figment piggybank. If I could have, I would have given Disney World the finger and spent my whole vacation at Epcot.

But then, I was the nerdiest kid you ever did see.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Stuck at the cleveland airport. Pent, we might be here for a while. Can either you or kitsa use your magic ohio powers and get us on our way.

[Kitsa]

I'll need a goat.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

My daughter is a capricorn.....I'll need to find something else though.

[Kitsa]

Cleveland is a shitty place to be stuck :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

we drive to cleveland to get a direct flight. Thought it would be less hassle.

[Fathom Zero]

Eat some Skyline. I understand that they're up there in Cleveland.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Fuck continental airlines. They delayed our flight intil 9pm.

[Fathom Zero]

Time enough for you to sight-see around glorious Cleveland.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

If I didn't drive here 3 hours at 2am this morning I wouldn't care as much.

[Fathom Zero]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lofp61sYQw1qbipv3o1_r1_500.gif

[Kitsa]

There's the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, I guess. There's a submarine right there on the lakefront you can tour. There's a kickass toy store but I can't remember where it is. The art museum there isn't bad; it's across the street from Case-Western University, which has an awesome silver blob roof.

[Kitsa]

aha-

http://www.toystimeforgot.com/

[Grislygus]

I find people who want to dislike something just to be 'different' to be hilarious. I also find them to be somewhat cowardly and hypocritical. If you want to be different, go all the freaking way. Don't just hate things everyone loves, declare you love things everyone hates. Join the neo nazis, watch Sandra Prill videos, buy a copy of Ishtar, get the game ET for Atari 2600 and play it nonstop. Of course none of them do, so in the end their opinions are laughable, empty, and meaningless because half measures get you nowhere.

meeeeeh, as much as I hate arguing points that back up GW, I hate it when people bring up the "you're just trying to be different" crap. Caught shit like that all the time when I had the audacity to vocally hate History of Violence when it came out, and especially when I hated on Brokeback Mountain's award sweep for cock blocking Good Night and Good Luck

Hell, people still give me a hard time about hating History of Violence. If I'm a David Cronenberg fan, and you don't even know who the hell he is, I think I can reserve the right to disrespect A Mediocre History of Overhyped Violence >:

[Fathom Zero]

Didja like Crash, though? That's the big question. I think bodily horror is more his speed. Good Night and Good Luck is one of my all time faves, though.

[Grislygus]

HERE'S AN IDEA: LET'S KILL ED HARRIS HALFWAY THROUGH THE MOVIE! SHOCKING, RIGHT? WHAT A BALLSY MOVE! SHAME THAT HE, UH, WASN'T GIVEN A SINGLE GODDAMN THING TO DO.


AND LET US NOT FORGET THE AWKWARD "MAFIA DAD" MONOLOGUE. GOOD JOB ON THAT WHOLE 'ACTING' THING, KID!

OOH, OOH!
HE REALLY DID USED TO WORK FOR THE MOB! WOW, DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING! HANG ON, KIDS, TIME FOR BITCHTASTIC MCWIFEFACE TO HAVE ANOTHER TEN MOOD SWINGS IN THREE MINUTES! SHE'S ANGRY! SHE'S CRYING! SHE'S LAUGHING! SHE'S ANGRY! SHE'S TENDER AND VULNERABLE! SHE'S PUKING! NOW SHE'S LAUGHING AGAIN! NOW SHE'S FURIOUS THAT HER HUSBAND SUCCESSFULLY KILLED THE MAN WHO WAS GOING TO MURDER HER FAMILY. OH, CRONENBERG

[Grislygus]

Oh yeah, I loved Crash. I think Cronenberg can go loopy with the body horror, though; eXistenZ was this big lumbering thing with awesome ideas and no real narrative drive... I know that was the point, given the genuinely fun twist-after-twist, but it just didn't- quite- work. Compared to Videodrome, at least, which practically forces you to watch it over and over until you figure out what was going on

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Heading to houston

[Fathom Zero]

Oh yeah, I loved Crash. I think Cronenberg can go loopy with the body horror, though; eXistenZ was this big lumbering thing with awesome ideas and no real narrative drive... I know that was the point, given the genuinely fun twist-after-twist, but it just didn't- quite- work. Compared to Videodrome, at least, which practically forces you to watch it over and over until you figure out what was going on

See, I loved eXistenz, but prolly because I was twelve and it was gross and on the Sci-Fi Channel. I wasn't really treating it like a movie, so I wasn't particularly invested in the plot.
Heading to houston

Don't die in the sky. I'd hate to pour one out for you at Comic Con '12.

[Grislygus]

Yeah, I know what you mean, sometimes people bring up genuinely good reasons to hate Videodrome, except that there's no way in Hell I can listen to that objectively :lol I just love that movie. I first saw it at a sleepover with my friends when I was thirteen or something, my friend's older brother was watching us and we talked him into getting us R movies from Hollywood Video, and he brought us The Rock, Evil Dead II, Videodrome, and a pizza, That guy was fucking awesome

[Fathom Zero]

That sounds like pretty much the best night ever. Same thing with me, only we had M-Rated games. :O That Wu-Tang fighter for the Playstation was badass at 4 in the morning hopped up on caffeine.

Also, there are artists/directors/musicians I like, but I can't tell you why, because I usually can come up with more reasons why I dislike the things they put out than why I like them. David Lynch sits right fucking center, along with Andy Warhol.

It's not even the cult of personality thing, either, even though they're both pretty interesting. There's a lot I just don't get from 'em, yet they're still a couple of my favorite artists. :\

[Grislygus]

I've never quite gotten the David Lynch thing, outside of Eraserhead. Especially after watching that miserable excuse for a documentary. He sounds very thoughtful when he talks, and he talks quite a bit, and you keep expecting him to make a profound point... except he doesn't. That's not how David Lynch works. He just... goes on about... things. Which is exactly how his movies work; Twin Peaks was good because the fact that it was on television forced him to get to the damn point and actually make a definite narrative statement as to what the hell was going on.

Other than that, his head's in the clouds, his opinions are rambling treatises on nothing in particular, and his movies are like Japanese horror flicks; interesting ideas executed so ambiguously as to be pretty damn half-baked, and you stop expecting any sort of explanation at the halfway mark. Combine that with the slobbering sycophants that put the documentary Lynch together, and you have a frustrating time of it as someone who wants to like him but is frustrated by a lack of valid content

[Fathom Zero]

I like a number of his things. Eraserhead's mad decent. Blue Velvet is great. Wild at Heart is pretty good. And I really liked Dumbland. (:lol)

But I tried to write a paper on Inland Empire, a movie I could barely sit through. I was dying watching it. Same thing with Mulholland Drive, albeit to a lesser extent. He keeps trying to wrap dream logic around life while whenever you try explaining a dream you had, you sound like a fucking asshole.

Also, I do like his paintings a bit, so there's always that. And to his credit, he's the only one that's ever made a movie that scares me, so he gets turbo props for that.

[Tadao]

Dear Pub

YOUCAN'TCATCHMEI'MTHEGINGERBREADMAN!

[Esuohlim]

http://i.imgur.com/g4QPO.gif

FOR GOD'S SAKE JIM I'M A DOCTOR NOT A POOLMAN

[Esuohlim]

Making flippy shit is a foolproof way to earn more rep :PICKLEHA

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

See, I loved eXistenz, but prolly because I was twelve and it was gross and on the Sci-Fi Channel. I wasn't really treating it like a movie, so I wasn't particularly invested in the plot.


Don't die in the sky. I'd hate to pour one out for you at Comic Con '12.

I made it. Finally. Dana point, ca is gorgeous. Its like walking around in crono cross.especially the town where dario gets his 2nd sword.

[Fathom Zero]

http://i.imgur.com/g4QPO.gif
FOR GOD'S SAKE JIM I'M A DOCTOR NOT A POOLMAN
fuckin' a
http://img218.imageshack.us/img218/7859/alexp2im.gif

[Fathom Zero]

IsUtvRD7nTI

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Just drove through bat country. in las vegas right now. So much to bitch about. There wil be a catalogue of it.

[Esuohlim]

fuckin' a

Apparently not according to Zhukov, that sly Tasmanian devil

[Zhukov]

Shit, I thought that form of institutionalised hatred was supposed to be anonymous.

[Aaarg]

how come the weekly features on i-mockary haven't changed in months also is docmock officially dead GIVE ME SITE INSIGHT GUYS

also true story one time when my girlfriend was younger somebody in the house caught wind of a dead mouse thanks to the scent as it had apparently been a little while and they tracked it to a closet in which they found the mouse dead in the back of a toy ambulance which i think is pretty funny because of course one imagines the mouse being relieved to find an ambulance and expected to get taken in for medical treatment but alas!

[Kitsa]

That's funny, but dead mouse smell sucks. The first car I ever had, a neon, had this increasingly horrible stench. It was the middle of summer and we cleaned the car inside and out, couldn't figure out where the hell it was coming from. Nothing under the seats, even pulled out the backseat, nothing in there, nothing in the wheel well. We found out (and this was August, the smell had been worsening all summer) that there was a decaying drowned mouse in the inside well of one of the tail lights. Apparently the early neons had a big problem with watertightness, and I had the very first model to come out. So the mouse had drowned in the tail light and steeped there like a teabag all summer.

Even after removing its bloated and slimy corpse, the car retained a faint scent of death until my mom was in a wreck with it, totaled the car, broke her thumb (airbag bent it all the way backwards). And that was the end of that chapter.

[Aaarg]

oh gross. i'm glad i'm drinking tea by the way!

one time my sister had a hamster and it went missing about a week or so later there was a horrible horrible smell throughout the house. the thing had gone under the refrigerator and apparently got stuck, died. nasty.

[b_squared]

Gophers are drawn to our pool. Usually we get a few drownings every summer. They end up in the skimmer looking and smelling like Kitsa tail light mouse. It's disgusting.

[b_squared]

A dog bit me on my hand today at work. :(

[Aaarg]

i want to work with dogs. where do you work?

[b_squared]

Animal control. There was an english pointer who looked so sad, so I went in to pet him, it was fine till he went cujo on me. No wonder this wierd bi-polar dog was in the pound. Working with dogs can be fun though. I just brought back two lab puppies which I had to fostertill they were old enough to adopt out to a home. I got to play with the puppies for three weeks then find them a good home:)
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/268083_235586709803142_100000554434164_897599_4762 952_n.jpg

[Zhukov]

Sloupoc, Beafough, Gheabrousiek, Bistrouklus, Spestoutuc, Droukreafris

Today's bot birthdays look like they belong to a string of Scottish highland villages.