I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Rongi]

FRESH PAIR OF JEANS NIGGA, BUTTON UPS

[Rongi]

last night i was hanging out with my friend (who is black, this will be important later) and her hot spanish friend. we got to my dorm at 3 and smoked a joint and looked through the pictures on my iPhone.

literally every single picture of a black person in my phone is something ridiculous or offensive. i have the "YOU GONNA GET RAPED" pic on my phone for some reason, Al Roker eating a hot dog with a big stupid look on his face, Lil Wayne kissing Birdman, a book I found at the library called "Back Stars In Orbit" about black astronauts, a clearly stoned black dude with dreadlocks dressed up like santa and a few others

it was kind of embarrassing and i realized that i'm a terrible person

[Fathom Zero]

You should replace them with women laughing alone with salad.

http://thehairpin.com/2011/01/women-laughing-alone-with-salad

[Kitsa]

I think it's time we all talked about the last time we got drunk, and the braws we got drunk with, and who we'd like to bang and in what orifice.

[Fathom Zero]

haha yeah

[ThrashO]

If women with salad aren't your thing, try the alternative, Men Laughing Alone With Fruit Salad

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/men-laughing-alone-with-fruit-salad

[ThrashO]

That's not a pickle.

[Kitsa]

I have a picture I took at a party of a guy who looks uncannily like that.

[k0k0]

Last time I got drunk, I walked the neighborhood with my roommate at the time. I ended up just breaking down someone's fence. At first I was going to climb it to get a kids ball from the yard but then the top plank ripped. Then I said fuck it. And pulled on the fence until it came down. Then just started kicking all of the planks down until they had no fence except for the posts. The cops came and my friend was just watching me as I ran. Then he ran. I never got caught. But I stopped drinking after that.

[Fathom Zero]

Tadao, don't be dead. I'll never forgive you.

XV50y9qNjMQ

LOOK I BEAR GIFTS

[Esuohlim]

a book I found at the library called "Back Stars In Orbit" about black astronauts, a clearly stoned black dude with dreadlocks dressed up like santa

:lol This part is funnier as one item

[Grislygus]

I'm at the point now where I feel like college was worthless :(

I've got shit for connections though, and maybe the economy really is a lot of the problem. Maybe I'm just bitter right now.

:slitwrists

:dylansnipples

It IS the economy, the connections I'm making through my school are amazing and my friends in law school are fucked... basically art prospects are as shitty as they ever were and go to people who want it the most and actually TRY to connect. In the meantime, people going for REAL jobs are getting screwed as the competition increases and the avenues dry up, becoming WORSE than what you find in the commercial art world in the middle of a goddamn recession

[Grislygus]

of course, BOTH my friends and I probably have an eighty percent turnaround probability in this situation

[kahljorn]

plus everybody and their mother is trying to be a lawyer

[Fathom Zero]

Also, people in art school should already be prepared for a lifetime of work at Home Depot, anyway. Anything else is already a step up.

[b_squared]

Maybe it was just the kind of mood I was in over the weekend, I decided to ride my horse out and forget my worries. I thought what the hell and kicked it into high gear and have a good "wind in the hair" gallop.

The mistake was using a saddle I was not used to riding in. Hit the dirt and a fence (thank god it was a vinyl one.)

Now I am bruised and battered and very sore. I think I need to find a a different way to relax.

[b_squared]

becoming WORSE than what you find in the commercial art world in the middle of a goddamn recession

I have two in college with art as their majors. They are having trouble finding just a part time job. Not even home depot is hiring.

[Fathom Zero]

Bollocks to that. I got a job at a burrito joint on the main street a block away from campus. And I've got one now shuffling pizzas. They're in a shitty town.

[b_squared]

Our burrito places round here are not hiring. Pizza was but she could not work the shift they offered due to school schedule. Almost got a grocery job, but then they were about to strike and she was told if they go on strike she would have to cross the picket line to work or be fired because she would still be considered on probation. She decided not to work there.

[Grislygus]

I fail to see how Home Depot could possibly be considered a part of the commercial art world

and FZ's right with the bollocking, part time jobs have turnover like fucking crazy, tell them to do some legwork, and keep returning to the same places and checking their applications. You know, as if they were job searching. I heard that kind of griping from my brother all the time, whenever he was having trouble finding part time openings he'd stop after applying at only ten or fifteen places and then bitch for a month

[Grislygus]

wait what, are you kidding? Scabs make money. As in, you know, any at all. Tell her to get her ass back over there

[b_squared]

It is the legwork part that I keep telling them about. Just about every place has online applications. Submit one then wait, sometimes you get a call back most times you don't. Your email is tagged so you do not submit multiple applications. If you go into the store to meet with the personel manager or superviors to ask them about the status of the application either they are not around or they have not yet recieved your application. You are told their business always accepts on line applications, but currently are not hiring, so you are out of luck.

That being said I do believe that if it were me I would be trying alot harder to find a job then they currently are. They only follow up the the legwork about 20% of the time. By then it's too late.

[b_squared]

Strike is over, they are not hiring scabs any longer.

[Esuohlim]

I got offered a job at a sales/marketing company a couple weeks ago. I hope I don't regret turning it down in the future when I'm wearing burlap sacks to the grocery store, but it was a goddamn 1.5 hour commute and it's sales for fuck's sake. I AM WAY TOO IMPORTANT FOR SUCH PIDDLING ENDEAVORS

[Fathom Zero]

If it's not a superduper corporation that only hires via online applications, tell them to call up every few days. My mum had to pound that into my head, but part of having a job is getting a job and you have to treat it like such. It's work.

[Esuohlim]

I'm pretty bad/lazy at the whole applying process. :( Pessimism is a killer

I'm still hanging onto hope that I'll seriously hear back from Milhouse Engineering & Construction (http://www.milhouseinc.com/about-engineering/)

[Fathom Zero]

Start a company! Get incorporated!

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I got offered a job at a sales/marketing company a couple weeks ago. I hope I don't regret turning it down in the future when I'm wearing burlap sacks to the grocery store, but it was a goddamn 1.5 hour commute and it's sales for fuck's sake. I AM WAY TOO IMPORTANT FOR SUCH PIDDLING ENDEAVORS

YOU NEED TO GET IN THE INSURANCE GAME WHERE THE BIG DOGS PLAY.

[k0k0]

The first time I worked at Dell, I worked in sales. I was selling to schools though, and they need computers all the time. I lost my job because I was selling primarily to the new orleans school district. And new orleans got flooded, so nobody was looking to buy anything.

They were dicks about it too. They sent me an email to fire me. And I didn't use the email address they sent it to anymore. So I showed up that week and worked. At the end of the week they asked me if I was looking at my emails. I said not at my old address. They told me that they had to let me go because they didn't see the new orleans school district buying any computers anytime soon. But it was nice having me.

[executioneer]

did you burn the place down

[k0k0]

Nah, but I did come back on Saturday when nobody was there to grab my stuff. And a lot of their stuff too.

[executioneer]

on topic of jobs: am thinking about quitting my job to focus on school fulltime

probably a bad idea but it's either quit or murder my coworkers at this point basically

[Emu]

Over what

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:lol

WILLIE GOING POSTAL

[b_squared]

I just emailed my daughters every fast food place and store in our local mall that is hiring part time. I think they will get the hint, because I am going to follow up that that list.

Spoke to the principal for my son's school. No help what so ever.

[b_squared]

What would you study if you went back to school Willy?

[Grislygus]

Beard Grooming For The Modern Gentleman

[Kitsa]

Is there an animal husbandry program specific to pastel ponies?

[executioneer]

Over what

because of intolerable braying jackasses that I can't do anything about or say anything to without getting in trouble

:lol

WILLIE GOING POSTAL

when i started working in mail production i bought an assault rifle to be ironic :eek

What would you study if you went back to school Willy?
am already in school studying how to program computors :(

[elx]

received a knock and a police-delivered martial law notification, "HAPPY HALLOWEEN, WE WILL BE BARRICADING YOU IN YOUR APARTMENT COMPLEX ON THE NIGHT OF THE 31st FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY - PLEASE LEAVE BEFORE 9 IF YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO GET OUT, AND DONT COME BACK UNTIL 3AM"

[elx]

that's not suggestive either, they are literally intending to have officers on both exits telling us we can't walk/drive in or out after 9. I don't know how that's even legal. :(

[Emu]

What? Where are you at that they would do that? Could do that?

[elx]

aj6manVBt80
For the past few years, they've been doing this -- and it was just annoying at first, but this year they are taking it to all new extremes and definitely crossing the line. I believe they were impressed by their own "success" in reducing it from 100-80k people down to 40-30k, so now they are trying to end it once and for all.

So there will be no trick-r-treating, no minors after dark, no one outside after 12am (or you'll be arrested,) no taxis, no busses. In the past they would barricade down the main roads, but now they are barricading down the entire town and locking up neighborhoods. I suppose the idea here is that they can literally keep out-of-towners out by shutting down access to the town. Unfortunately - not only are they locking them out, but they are locking us in!

FACIST GRINCH MURDERERS OF HALLOWEEN :(

[executioneer]

in other news new orleans is gonna stop letting outsiders visit for mardi gras :rolleyes :notreally :idiots

[Aaarg]

the sexual history of rape victims is legally admissible in court as evidence against said victim. this isn't news, though - which makes it somehow worse.

i think we need a revolution, y'allz. holding up signs on the internet isn't going to cut it. we need to start tearing out throats. who's with me?

BLOOD
WILL
FOL-
LOW
BLOOD
DY-
ING
TIME
IS
HERE
-jam hatfield

[k0k0]

So they don't see it as a ton of people putting money into the local economy? Austin has a halloween deal on sixth street every year and the place is fucking packed. It's annoying and I never go down there, but they do it.

[Aaarg]

yeah i think athens or whatever small city in ohio has that one college has a huge halloween thing because people at west virginia university would talk about going there

[Aaarg]

but then again north carolina would probably only be ok with it if all the attendees were gathered together to beat up homosexuals with bibles or something that god would approve of

[Aaarg]

there's a church about a half a mile from my new house and the other night i took the dog out and they were playing loud-ass country music and occasionally some dude would get on an intercom and say stuff. anyway i just assumed one of the neighbors in an adjacent yard was listening to music at first, because it was loud and obnoxious. but no, it was the church. at midnight. what the fuck? how is that not disturbing the peace? i was about to call the cops, but they were probably all fucking there.

[k0k0]

I remember when I was a little guy and my mom made me go to church for some new years thing. They had a band playing and it was so awful. But to be playing on a random night, yo church be fucked up.

[Aaarg]

the only time i ever went to church as a kid was with other people's families and i think that only happened twice and i was uncomfortable both times.

around here they have revivals. this is a foreign concept to me.

also all of the billboards are apparently owned by a christian operation because they all have jesus-fish on the bottom of the structure.

[k0k0]

Yeah, my roommate and I went to church with my mom when I was about 12 or so because she would buy us taco bell afterwards. They put us in a youth group or something. Anyways, there were a ton of other kids in there and when they were singing/clapping, we would throw off everyone around us' timing by clapping on the off beats. And slowly everyone's clapping would just get fucked. Plus we'd sing along to whatever words they showed on the projector, but we'd sing out of key so it would fuck with everyone else also. We had a lot of fun messing with church people. It wasn't fun when they made everyone be quiet and pray and shit though.

[Aaarg]

haha, nice. whatever keeps you busy, i guess.

once when i was working in the cave i was in "training" for giving the wild cave tours so i was tagging along with another employee and a group. the group was from some church or something and they asked the guy if they could stop and pray or something - i don't fucking know, hold hands in a circle and talk to jesus. anyway, i think the guy in the group got mad because while they did that i just wandered off on my own because i'm in a goddamn cave and that's awesome and fuck you.

my girlfriend teaches high school and several kids complain that they can't do homework on wednesdays because they have to go to church. she was bitching about this to another science teacher that she assumed was an atheist and he said "that's no excuse. i still have time on wednesday before church to get work done!"

[k0k0]

The homework will give them a chance to test out prayer. If they pray hard enough maybe it'll be done by the time they get to school.

And I remember going to those cave tours. We have several here in Austin and they're fun stuff. Sometimes you see bats sleeping and they tell you to be quiet so you don't bother them. That's when I stomp louder as I walk because I want to see a bat fly around in the cave. But they never did wake up. How was the cave work? Was that a fun job?

[Aaarg]

dude bats in commercial caves get flashlights shined on them all day and have people take pictures. i think i'm the only member of the staff that never poked at a sleeping bat at least once. jerks. i love bats.

fucking best job ever. commercial caves are hokey as shit, but whatever - getting paid to walk through a cave all day and talk to people who aren't paying attention anyway? great. after a few months, my tours were probably 50% "standard material" that you're supposed to share, and the rest stupid shit like "this is how they cleared this passage so you could walk through it!" and "blah blah blah bats are the best blah blah blah"

and i hate other people, so instead of dicking around in the breakroom all day, i'd go find work to do. know what's great when you're carrying buckets of rocks down a hill and filling a garden with them? being told you have to give a cave tour. physical work in hot summer sun followed by a leisurely stroll through a 55 degree cave. gimme. also, the owner of the cave would come visit and catch me working every time and he liked me for it.

but it was a 45 minute drive and gas was 4 bucks a gallon and the pay was like 7.50 and i had to catch up on a lot of bills and i never had money and then i had to move back home and life sucked again.

(it's a bad idea to talk to me about how great working at a small commercial cave is because i ramble on and on forever)

also bats flying in a cave is awesome and catches you off-guard and is fun. also bats flying outside. also bats. bats. bats.

i feel like a dork because there's a silly picture my girlfriend drew me for my birthday last year that's been on the refrigerator since then. we recently moved, and i put it on the new fridge. it will probably be there for several birthdays, because:
http://klimp.dk/glown/batday.jpg
awww

[k0k0]

It's cool man. We have a sign up that says "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" over the entranceway and it's nobody's birthday. I change it up with new font every year on my roommate's birthday then nobody takes it down.

It's cool that you ramble on about cave stuff because it's interesting shit. Did you guys have a rock that you made everyone touch before they went down into the cave so they didn't touch all the rocks in the cave? The ones here have that and the thing is just nasty looking.

Edit: And did you ever get people who were claustrophobic and didn't realize it til they got down. Then they just freak the fuck out?

[Aaarg]

haha, no, the cave i worked at was too sandy so we didn't have stalagmites and stalactites (well, there was a few, but not anywhere people could ever go). we told everybody they could touch anything they wanted (except bats). i think a lot of people were disappointed because it wasn't all shiny stuff with crazy shapes, but whatever. fun anyway!

i don't recall any claustrophobic people on any of my tours. i had a guy that asked for the quickest way out when his girlfriend had to take a shit. i told him the way and a few minutes later somebody dropped a real stinker in one of the side passages near the exit. when i got out of that tour, my boss called me over, "did you notice anybody leave the group and come back?" "no, why?" she got close to me because it was busy, "somebody shit in the fuckin' cave!" that was a day!

my favorite tours were the ones late in the day, just before closing time, when some couple would come in and they'd end up getting a private tour. then it's more conversational than just relaying information people don't really care about.

this cave was about 1/3 developed, so we also had "wild tours" where people would have to wear a helmet and bring a flash light and get to crawl around and get muddy and stuff. that was fun, but i didn't get to do it too often (low on the totem pole!). one time i ended up taking some dude and his two kids on a caving tour, that was fun.

[k0k0]

Yeah, the caves we have here are all shiny with all kinds of stuff coming down from the ceiling and there's a strict no touching rule. Lots of crazy formations that they have names for. I really loved taking dates down into caves because they were never thinking about how cold it would be and I could take my jacket off and put it on them. That always wins their shit over. Man, maybe I'll just give up my job typing stuff all day and work in cave. Sure it'd be a 40 minute drive every day but I wanna have fun for a job.

[Aaarg]

it was completely fun, but i don't know that working at any commercial cave would be as fun. this was a very small place (well, not the cave itself), and the manager was awesome.

all the commercial caves in virginia have all the formations and stuff, and they're all way too commercial for my tastes. luray caverns - everybody fucking loves the place, but your feet never touch the natural cave floor. also tickets are like 20 bucks and the tour guides don't know their shit.

we had to take a "knowledge quiz" in the middle of the summer and i scored better than anybody else there - people who have been working in this cave and sharing information about this cave with people for three, five, ten fucking years. jerks. i was so sad when i realized i wouldn't be able to go back to work there the following year. oh well.

know what's colder than being in a cave? crawling through a stream in a cave, haha. fun!

[ThrashO]

So im going to start turning things into stash boxes for weed. And selling them on Etsy.

Anyways, I built two poker tables last year and I had a hard time finding the right kind of felt for them. I started out going to a fabric store and I just got a 6ftx6ft square of plain green felt and it was terrible :(

It had all of these fibers and strings and hairs coming up all the time, I ended up getting this expensive green felt online, and its great but it just cost way to much.

Anyways, anyone into crafts that knows the difference with felt? I just want a big sheet of the felt that you find on poker tables in casino's or the kind of stuff they make bowlers and other clothes out of. The kind thats really soft and has really short hairs, not the kind made from compressed fibers that pull apart...

I feel like Kitsa would know :/

also, cool cave story.

[executioneer]

cave story is pretty cool yeah

[Aaarg]

i never got past the last dungeon/level of cave story =-o

dunno about felt

[Kitsa]

I'm not 100% on this and I suck at pool but try google-shopping-searching for billiard cloth. I think that's what you want.

[executioneer]

it looks like it's all pretty f-damned expensive no matter where you get it, though

[Kitsa]

craft store stuff is cheap and usually hell to work with, though. You want the soft, no-pill stuff that's more like fleece.

[executioneer]

wonder if you could actually use fleece

probably not

[ThrashO]

cave story is pretty cool yeah

http://wiimedia.ign.com/wii/image/article/916/916811/cave-story-20081007070354376_640w.jpg

:tear

[kahljorn]

you need wool straight from the back of a sheep that lkes to roll around in grass

thats how they've been made for thousands of years and i dont think its right to stop now

[b_squared]

am already in school studying how to program computors :(

Sorry I did not know that.

[b_squared]

Poker fabric link. I'm not sure if this is in you price range
http://www.yourautotrim.com/plsucl.html

[Fathom Zero]

uARpK-YnJxg

4 kitsa and all hallowieners

[Grislygus]

WHAT The hell GUSY

what

[Fathom Zero]

lol

[kahljorn]

haha for some reason i had a feeling you would respond to that :(

also i found a bat one time and it was awesome it was like alittle mouse with wings

[Rongi]

dawgs, it's real boring around here lately

i almost miss pram maven

[Esuohlim]

Since you posted that in two threads, you should just go the distance and post it in all threads :eek

[Rongi]

i didn't mean to post it in the other thread ;(

[Rongi]

also you're a moderator now milhouse you shouldn't encourage such misbehavior!!!!!!!

[Rongi]

check it

[Rongi]

remember when that black dude posted a picture of his dick

[ThrashO]

link plz

[Rongi]

this was like....uh....maybe 5 or 6 years ago i don't really feel like going through this thread just to find a dude's dick

[ThrashO]

this was like....uh....maybe 5 or 6 years ago i don't really feel like going through this thread just to find a dude's dick

ya blew it

[k0k0]

So my ex started emailing me again. And she's married, but she's in a sexless marriage. Do I just bang her to make her feel better? Is that her point of telling me she's in a sexless marriage and feels like cheating?

[Grislygus]

why the fuck do you tools not have your dumb bitch exes blocked; you pretend that you're casual about the possibility of crawling back to them for sex while you ask for advice about it on the internet


learn from khaljorn, he only kept his ex unblocked just long enough to send her a gigantic, rambling email specifying exactly why the dumb bitch was a dumb bitch

[Grislygus]

In completely unrelated news, I've now discovered that literally every Mormon parent I personally know or know of is the scum of the earth

[Fathom Zero]

Just shoot yourself

This girl I totes wanted to bone so hard in high school sent me all sorts of messages recently. We had a falling out after an explosion of drama and people really started hating me. I decided nothing was worth that shit anymore (THE CORRECT DECISION, DURR), but now she's the one chatting me up. :lollingallthewaytothebank

[Aaarg]

one time my ex "HIT ME UP" on "AOL INSTATN MESSANGER" saying she got a new phone and didn't have my number anymore i was like "ok i'll call you and you can get it then" and she was all "i have a different number now" and i was like "ok" and signed off

OWNEd

[Aaarg]

HEY GRISLEYGUS ARE YOU FAMILIAR WIZTH THE FILM-WORKS OF NOBUO NAKAGAWA (dude what did "jigoku" ) AND are they worth purusuinug???

[Fathom Zero]

yes

[Grislygus]

HEY GRISLEYGUS ARE YOU FAMILIAR WIZTH THE FILM-WORKS OF NOBUO NAKAGAWA (dude what did "jigoku" ) AND are they worth purusuinug???

Kwaidan is fucking amazing, other than that I haven't watched any of his shit

[Aaarg]

There's a copy of that here somewhere. I guess I'll start with that. I've always been curious about it but my girlfriend said it's "not that good," but knowing her she was just in a bad mood when she saw it. OH WELL I'LL MAKE HER WATCH IT AGAIN.

fux i still need to see kuroneko

[Esuohlim]

This is the best message board on the internet because there is absolutely no discussion, not even a mention, of Occupy Wall Street.

Not even sarcasm here. h8 current events.

[Fathom Zero]

why you start that discussion? I was hoping to avoid it. >:

[Esuohlim]

SHIT

[Aaarg]

occupy your fucking mother,mother fucker

also is there anything you can bake that doesn't make the house smell delicious ???

[Aaarg]

i apologize for that outburst, i am sure your mother is a wonderful woman and i had no right to suggest she be occupied.

i baked you this zucchini bread to make up for it.

[Esuohlim]

I hate zucchini

You are the worst friend of all time

[Aaarg]

nooooOOOOoooo even zucchini bread? it's basically SUGAR, SUGAR, CINNAMON, FLOUR, SUGAR, BROWN SUGAR IF YOU'RE FIESTY, AN EGG, ... and zucchini.

i accept my position as the worst friend of all time.

[Esuohlim]

I AM FEELING FIESTY. YOU ARE FORGIVEN.

[Esuohlim]

Is it sad that the two biggest turn-ons for me are:

1. Atheism
2. Casual use of the word "cunt"

:(

[Fathom Zero]

Turn-ons or pre-requisites?

[Esuohlim]

I AM SEXUALLY EXCITED BY ATHEISM

[Fathom Zero]

Sexual dysfunction.

[Esuohlim]

:tear

[Fathom Zero]

you're impotent

[executioneer]

I hate zucchini

You are the worst friend of all time

i agree that zucchini is basically the worst but zucchini bread is pretty great

usually better than banana bread at LEAST

[Esuohlim]

I don't have very much experience with zucchini bread as I am a child who refuses to try new things, but banana bread is ok as long as there's no nuts in it :x

[Kitsa]

I've heard of zucchini jelly but I've never had it. What happens if you eat zucchini jelly on zucchini bread?

Zucchini that people let grow in their gardens until they get to the size of baseball bats, with big thick rinds, suck. You have to get them while they're still green for them to be any good.

[Sam]

Is it sad that the two biggest turn-ons for me are:

1. Atheism
2. Casual use of the word "cunt"

:(

I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD, CUNT.

[Sam]

Is it sad that the two biggest turn-ons for me are:

1. Atheism
2. Casual use of the word "cunt"

:(

I DON'T BELIEVE IN CUNTS, GOD.

[Sam]

I DON'T CUNT GOD.

[executioneer]

I don't have very much experience with zucchini bread as I am a child who refuses to try new things, but banana bread is ok as long as there's no nuts in it :x
well zucchini imparts none of its texture and very little of its flavour to the bread (or at least to the stuff i've had) and sometimes it's even got a tasty brown sugar crust on it

[executioneer]

KEEP YOUR GOD OUT OF MY C*NT

[Rongi]

opera singer girl is into jesus, i think. she never talks about it though so it's aight

[Rongi]

my view is basically that jesus isn't really that cool and people should probably stop fawning all over him, it's gross

oh wow he made a bunch of fish or w/e. cool story, brah

[Grislygus]

opera singer girl is into jesus, i think. she never talks about it though so it's aight

RUN GODDAMNIT

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I TAPPED SHIT LIKE THAT

[ThrashO]

Zucchini bread is awesome, it's just like banana nut bread without nuts.

also fuck occupy wall st. what are these hippies talking about 99%? I live in a house that isn't slabs of mud with leafs on top, im pretty happy.

[k0k0]

Hippies ain't nothin but a poop butt.

[Sam]

CUNT

[Zhukov]

Is it sad that the two biggest turn-ons for me are:

1. Atheism
2. Casual use of the word "cunt"

:(

Come to Australia. Nobody cares about current events here, either.

[k0k0]

Yeah, but nobody cares about deodorant over there too. And it's hot as fuck.

[Sam]

YEAH, AND YOU'RE ALL CUNTS.

[ThrashO]

can i be cunt

[executioneer]

C.U.N.T. condemn useless new testament

[ThrashO]

Cut Up Ninja Tufts.

[Fathom Zero]

Is it sad that the two biggest turn-ons for me are:

1. Atheism
2. Casual use of the word "cunt"

:(

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltqe9xaLsb1qz6g9ko1_500.png

[executioneer]

alcoholic caramel apples are go, repeat alcoholic caramel apples are go

(there's alcohol in the apples AND in the caramel)

[kahljorn]

but does it have thujone in it

[executioneer]

no just cyanide and alcohol

[ThrashO]

you bitches are boring.

where is pram.

[executioneer]

it's not my job to stalk him

have you tried zug

[Aaarg]

did you check the mortuary playground?

[Emu]

Guys third shift blows.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Guys third shift blows.

BUT SHIFTING INTO THIRD RULES

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

why the fuck do you tools not have your dumb bitch exes blocked; you pretend that you're casual about the possibility of crawling back to them for sex while you ask for advice about it on the internet


learn from khaljorn, he only kept his ex unblocked just long enough to send her a gigantic, rambling email specifying exactly why the dumb bitch was a dumb bitch

:lol

sexless marriage.?

Is there any other kind?

[Esuohlim]

you bitches are boring.

where is pram.

（╯°□°）╯︵ ʇunɔ

[Esuohlim]

Forum be buggin', yo

[Sam]

MILHOUSE IS MY USE OF CUNT CASUAL ENOUGH FOR YOU?

[k0k0]

Why is the board being all fucky and putting me on random pages. I clicked last page.

Ok, posting took me to it. Good. Now I got nothing to say. You fucking haunted messageboard.

[kahljorn]

thats ok it deleted some of my posts ;9

[Esuohlim]

Haha yeah the BOARD did that, right, heh heh

KILLJORN YOU ARE BEING CENSORED BY THE MAN. MEET ME UNDER THE BRIDGE IN THREE HOURS

What a fine day it is today

[Esuohlim]

MILHOUSE IS MY USE OF CUNT CASUAL ENOUGH FOR YOU?

YOU CAN MEET ME UNDER THE BRIDGE TOO FOR SEXY REASONS. ;) ;)

[kahljorn]

I thought about reposting it but then realized i could get banned for that

[kahljorn]

I GOT INVITED TO A HOLOOWEEEN PARTy AND I KIND OF WANTED TO GO BUT NOW I REALIZE I DONT REALLY FEEL LIKE TALKINg TO PEOPLE. PLUS ILL PROBABLY ONLY KNOW LIKE A FEW PEOPLE THERE :(

I Guess i cAN ALWAYs go AND NOT TALK to ANYBODY

[Kitsa]

that's what I usually do

you can be roughly as popular as me, that's pretty fucking sad

i advise you drink a lot.

[ThrashO]

THERE ARE TWO HALLOWEEN PARTIES IM INVITED TOO BUT IM TOO DEPRESSED ABOUT MY EX TO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT EITHER ONE AND WOULD RATHER STAY HOME AND WORK caps was on too lazy to go back and fix it FUCK IT I LIKE IT.

[executioneer]

I DRANK A LOT IT WAS AWE$OME

THAT DOLLAR SIGN WAS AN ACCIDENT BUT I LEFT IT THERE B/C $$$$$ = COOL

ALSO SINGING ROCKBAND WHEN DRESSED AS NATHAN EXPLOSION IS AWKWARD BECAUSE I WANT TO WIN BUT I ALSO WANT TO STAY AUTHENTIC TO MY COSTUME :( :( :(

[ThrashO]

I DRANK A LOT IT WAS AWE$OME

THAT DOLLAR SIGN WAS AN ACCIDENT BUT I LEFT IT THERE B/C $$$$$ = COOL

ALSO SINGING ROCKBAND WHEN DRESSED AS NATHAN EXPLOSION IS AWKWARD BECAUSE I WANT TO WIN BUT I ALSO WANT TO STAY AUTHENTIC TO MY COSTUME :( :( :(

dont be a dildo

[kahljorn]

ALL THESE DRUNK GIRLS AND I DIDNT FUCK ANY OF THEM :(

BUT WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH GIRLS NOW A DAYS AND TOUCHING LIKE EVERY GUY IN SIGHT. I CANT EVEN TELL IF PEOPLE ARE DATING AND NOT ANYMORE

[ThrashO]

thats called a all women are whores.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I played too much battlefield 3 and drank too much rum. then my eye exploded.

[Kitsa]

I went to a halloween party but it ended up being sort of awkward. Apparently the guy who hosted it invited all of his "usual" friends (that would include me), the people he could count on to show up to parties and contribute and so on, and we showed up. But it turned out he REALLY wanted some other people he'd invited to come, and he got increasingly pissed as the evening wore on and they didn't show. An hour and a half after the party was scheduled to end, we were sitting around and they did show up, no costumes, no contribution to food or drink or anything, and just sort of went on a tour of his house and then announced they were going to a sports bar and left.

To make things worse, they were just sort of casually insulting anything and everything...the other guests, the house, the stuff we'd brought, our costumes. So they were really kind of dicks and I don't know why anyone would seek their approval, but it was kind of made clear that we had been drastically demoted in importance so we got our stuff and left. And the guy hasn't spoken to me since :(

[kahljorn]

thats called a all women are whores.

I THOUGHT THAT THEY WERE MORE SUBTLE ABOUT IT

[ThrashO]

one beer and "OH MAN IM SO WASTED *DICK STROKE*"

its the best excuse for a chick to let her real colors show.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Her dick grope colors

[kahljorn]

BITCHES SHOULD JUST BUY MOOD RINGS

[kahljorn]

CEPT IT WILL PERMANANTLY BE IN WHATEVER MOOD IS WHORE

[Rongi]

i snorted adderall tonight

i am never going to sleep again

wooooooooooooooooo

[kahljorn]

DRUGS :rolleyes

JK DRUGS ARE GOOD

[kahljorn]

ZOMBOID ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY LENOR THREAD

[Rongi]

We tried to find coke but we couldnt. I suppose we could have gone to some shittier part of the city to get some but they'd probably only have crack and i really dont have any interest in smoking crack

Hey upstate ny you suck at having drugs that arent for destitutes and pot heads

[Guitar Woman]

You'd probably have just gotten a bag of caffeine cut with dental anesthetic, anyway.

[Fathom Zero]

time to dunk on some bitches

[Kitsa]

I read the other day that all of the club kids who used to take a lot of ketamine are getting spontaneously incontinent. I guess the issue was, ketamine being an animal anesthetic, long-term abuse seems to kill that part of the brain stem where such things are regulated. On scans they're virtually identical to advanced alzheimer's patients who are incontinent. I've watched Party Monster and am a little ashamed to say I enjoy the thought.

[kahljorn]

so i told my self i would study all weekend for a test i have tomorrow

i just started studying tonight!

gdamnit what the hell is wrong with me.

I guess it doesnt help that Tuesday is my first anniversary with my EX :O

[Aaarg]

oh god, party monster.

i hate everybody.

[Kitsa]

I was never quite sure what to think of Macaulay Culkin, but that movie did it for me. Seth Green is ok but I've seen videos of Michael Alig and I'm not really sure what exactly Macaulay Culkin was doing with his voice. It was supremely irritating. :moviethread

I'm waiting for the rain to stop so I can remove dogshit from my yard, lest little trick-or-treaters step in it shortcutting to the door.

We are giving out full size snickers tonight, and I got some kitkats just in case, but we never seem to get more than 3 or 4 kids and I usually end up dumping it all in the teenage neighbor's pillowcase at the end of the night :(

[Otto]

We tried to find coke but we couldnt. I suppose we could have gone to some shittier part of the city to get some but they'd probably only have crack and i really dont have any interest in smoking crack

Hey upstate ny you suck at having drugs that arent for destitutes and pot heads

I can't even find weed in my town anymore :(

The shitty neighborhood my dealer lives in now has a huge police presence, the cops have arrested most of the suppliers, and now the only thing I can seem to find is meth. I fucking hate this town.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

so i told my self i would study all weekend for a test i have tomorrow

i just started studying tonight!

gdamnit what the hell is wrong with me.

I guess it doesnt help that Tuesday is my first anniversary with my EX :O

WE NEED TO CELEBRATE THE ANNIVERSARY OF YOUR EMANCIPATION.

[Fathom Zero]

a celebratory emancipation inebriation

[kahljorn]

:lol

I'm gonna try to get drunk

METH IS PRETTY FUN IMO BUT WE ALWAYS GOT REALLY GOOD METH

I think the thing i hate most about parties is i never get to finish my stories :( I was trying to tell a story about this time my friends and i did a bunch of ketamene and xanax and then afterwards we went to the store to steal booze. Got busted at the first store. We went to the second store, stole some liquor and my friend opened a can of pringles and was walking around the store eating it, when we walked out they busted us for the pringles. Then they saw that my friend had booze and they were all, "WAIT A SECOND... CALL THE PO-LICE"
then we went back to the future

:lol
fuckin pringles

[executioneer]

man isnt the anniversary the opposite of emancipation

[kahljorn]

WHAT BETTER DAY TO CELEBRATE EMANCIPATION THAN ON THE DAY OF YOUR ENSLAVEMENT

[Aaarg]

I think the thing i hate most about parties is i never get to finish my stories :( I was trying to tell a story about this time my friends and i did a bunch of ketamene

never finish stories because can't control bladder
ok



somebody snuck a rammstein wallpaper onto my desktop as a joke so i spent a lot of time making this to use as revenge:
http://klimp.dk/glown/danzigcake.jpg

[Kitsa]

:lol

I had this up on my screen and hadn't really looked at it yet, and I turned to my mom to tell her something. She thought I was showing her something, came over and peered at it, then walked off.

Thanks for that.

[Aaarg]

hahaha, awesome.

[kahljorn]

i think i only got like 95% on my test today :(

and one of the ones i got wrong was a really obvious one i guess :( i feel stupid

it was a trick question but i wasnt prepared for it cause i didnt do the practice test where the trick was originally revealed :(

[Kitsa]

When we went trick-or-treating, there were two wtf houses on the same street. One house had lights on, halloween decorations up, inside door open, and a huge sign on the storm door in 72-point font saying that anyone who dared disturb them would be met with blahblah profanity blahblah violence. It ended with GO AWAY and about 7 or 8 exclamation points.

There was another house, same deal, lights on, halloween decorations up. On the porch was a batman thing and a sign that said PRESS BUTTON FOR CANDY. You pressed the button and Batman went through 4 or 5 catchphrases and lit up, but otherwise nothing happened. Sort of a stupid prank.

[k0k0]

That's when you steal the batman.

[Kitsa]

I suppose I could've. I could've also spread dogturds in a decorative ring around him, but neither of those things occurred to me when it mattered.

[Zhukov]

So this was the first year that Tasmania is tentatively giving trick or treat a go. Apparently, even children in my city were going about their collection, and houses were expecting them.

Thanks for waiting until I was too old.

[nito]

Thanks, gentle! I like this forum cause we learn fron each other!!.

[k0k0]

Thanks, gentle! I like this forum cause we learn fron each other!!.

Nobody calls me gentle you son of a bitch!

[RAVER141]

I've promised myself that when i retire i'm going to print off the whole of this thread and read it to a tree, close by there will be a second tree, but i won't recite loud enough for the second tree to hear.
The second tree will thanks me for this by providing me sustenance in the form of nuts, the first tree may well shed a large branch onto my head by page 274.

[k0k0]

How exactly will you describe the picture up there to the tree?

[RAVER141]

I'll tell it to imagine the most fucked up thing you could ever see in a mirror image.
I'll then trick it, as it wont know what a mirror is, i'll explain, then present a picture of my ex girlfriend before the tree.
I'll probably do this right at the end of page 273, that's when the tree will adorn my bonce with the huge and weighty bough.

(Btw, that's a shit answer as at no point will it see the above pic)

[Esuohlim]

You know, sometimes I long for the good old I-Mock days, but then people like you or Lenor show up again and then I realize that we were better off after all

[Sam]

What the cunt is going on?

[Dimnos]

I would read the last few pages myself but nah. :\

[kahljorn]

CANT DECIDE IF I SHOULD GO GET A BEER OR NOT

I ALREADY HAVE A PERFECTLY GOOD BOTTLE OF JAMESON :(

[Dimnos]

So why even consider the beer? :confused

[executioneer]

need something to chase the jameson with i guess

[Dimnos]

More jameson?

[kahljorn]

CAUSE I WAS GONNA GOTO A BAR AND TRY TO TALK TO DRUNK BITCHES

OR SIT BY MYSELF

[Zhukov]

Some of my mates left beers in my fridge, and while I'm actually teetotal, I've drunk two.

They don't taste that good, and I don't feel any sort of amazing buzz.

[The Leader]

You're adorable.

[Fathom Zero]

hang a goon bag from a tree branch

[Kitsa]

Dammit, mexican restaurant, why did you have to make the food poisoning so delicious :(

[Esuohlim]

You've got to be fucking kidding me with the food poisoning again, Kitsa >:

[RAVER141]

You know, sometimes I long for the good old I-Mock days, but then people like you or Lenor show up again and then I realize that we were better off after all

Ah, memories of the good ole days, when Chojin was just a regular member, jixby was a regular poster, and i'd try and subtly hit on Glowbelly though we were an ocean away.
How we've grown.

[k0k0]

Chojin still shows up to threaten people who post pictures of cheeseburgers. Maybe if you post a good one, he'll come by and threaten you.

[Zhukov]

hang a goon bag from a tree branch

That's what they do, yes. Although I think hanging it from a hills hoist and playing goon of fortune is more popular.

[Fathom Zero]

:lol Whoa, hey - don't get too classy. No need to put on airs here.

[Fathom Zero]

Walked into Goodwill just now looking for Spring clothes. Walked out with roller blades, a stereo mixer, and Korean exorcism masks.

[b_squared]

Trees cocooned in spider webs after flooding in Pakistan.
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2011/03/pictures/110331-pakistan-flood-spider-trees-webs/

That's a lot of spiders.

[b_squared]

I just gave some rollerblades to goodwill.

[Kitsa]

You've got to be fucking kidding me with the food poisoning again, Kitsa >:

Nope, not at all, I get mild cases of it all the time. I think that everyone has something that doesn't agree with them every once in a while. Fever, chills and bad bathroom stuff for one night, then it's over.

[Chojin]

Chojin still shows up to threaten people who post pictures of cheeseburgers. Maybe if you post a good one, he'll come by and threaten you.

so i've been working on this game and just finished putting in the models and animations for the gold enemies (48 frames, tedious as shit to put together that spritesheet)

http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/transgolds.jpg

only to realize hours later that they look like killer cheeseburgers

[ThrashO]

looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooool

[RAVER141]

Chojin still shows up to threaten people who post pictures of cheeseburgers. Maybe if you post a good one, he'll come by and threaten you.

I owe Chojin, he introduced me to the word "tenure", i'd never heard it before, this was in the context of a warning of an imminent ban i was about to receive, therefore if staying in his good books means not mentioning meat patty's topped with dairy produce that's fine by me.

Then again he his a moderator now, and we all know moderators strangle puppies, so fuck him, and his kind.

http://i41.tinypic.com/2wehphk.jpg

[Chojin]

those are sliders, which are perfectly acceptable

[k0k0]

And delicious looking, if I might add.

[HickMan]

AFGHANISTAN UPDATE: I'm alive. I'll be posting pictures of my recent injury soon! Getting ran over by an ATV kinda blows, btw.

[ThrashO]

AFGHANISTAN UPDATE: I'm alive. I'll be posting pictures of my recent injury soon! Getting ran over by an ATV kinda blows, btw.
sounds like a baby scratch. come back when you've caught an rpg.

[kahljorn]

fuckin terrorists

[Aaarg]

cheeseburger revolt: coming soon to your windows 95 pc

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

still should be banned, sliders are gross.

[HickMan]

RPG's are a sonofabitch.

All in all, I'm pretty damn lucky. I literally got ran over by a vehicle that weighs roughly 500 lbs, carrying the driver who was about 220 lbs and also carrying about 100 lbs of ammo. I'm thankful I was able to walk away from the whole thing with some minor scrapes, cuts..and one really fucked up wrist.

[Aaarg]

RPG's are a sonofabitch.

you're supposed to be protecting my freedom and you're playing final fantasy tales of phantasia dragon quest???????????????WHAT TF

[Lone Wanderer]

Didn't make it to Foy's Halloween store this year, fucking infection and college made sure of that! :(

[Kitsa]

Foy's is open all year...at least, the five-and-dime, diner and adult costume stores are. I think all they shut down are the prop shops and the kids' costume store, but we went there in need of a baby sombrero once and they opened it up for us. It'll be there when you're ready for it.

[Grislygus]

SYNCHTUBE IS ON TONIGHT

[Fathom Zero]

OH SHIT FUCK
NOT TONIGHT
I'm not at my house tonight

[RAVER141]

WTF are "sliders". ?

[Sam]

SYNCHTUBE LET'S DO IT NOW

[Grislygus]

COPY THAT SYNCHTUBE IS GO REPEAT SYNCHTUBE IS GO

http://www.synchtube.com/r/7rl4

[Grislygus]

wait n/m, it's just you and me. where the fuck are the squares

[Grislygus]

HEY FAGS COME JOIN US WHENEVER WORKS FOR YOU

[Guitar Woman]

WTF are "sliders". ?

tiny burgers, like whitecastle

[Grislygus]

DAMMIT SAUCY WHY U LEAVE

[Guitar Woman]

I've got a horrible internet connection is why

Not to mention you guys kind of hate me and I didn't want to ruin your party

[Grislygus]

Get a better internet connection and JOIN US, CONFORM TO THE GROUP LIKE A GOOD POD PERSON

[HickMan]

Hey guys I have a question.

Who would win in a fight. A silverback gorilla or a lion?

[executioneer]

batman would win

edit: OR, whoever wins, we lose :(

[Zhukov]

Good answers.

[kahljorn]

WTF are "sliders". ?

persons who travel in between different dimensions in a quest to find home. In each dimension they have a limited amount of time to find the opening to the next dimension before the opening closes, possibly stranding them in that dimension forever.

[Aaarg]

http://www.sikworld.com/artofmetal/T_Rex-Slider.jpg

[Esuohlim]

persons who travel in between different dimensions in a quest to find home. In each dimension they have a limited amount of time to find the opening to the next dimension before the opening closes, possibly stranding them in that dimension forever.

And this guy gets to come with you!

http://www.palzoo.net/file/pic/gallery/4776_view.jpg

[ThrashO]

woah

[b_squared]

Hey Willie,
Were you in Berkley Ca reciently?

BERKELEY, Calif.—Fifteen young men in this hotbed of activism gathered at an Indian restaurant on a recent Sunday and made an appeal: Could the waiter please switch the TV from the news to "My Little Pony"?


http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203707504577012141105109140.html?m od=e2fb

EDIT:
D'oh Movie thread...

[b_squared]

Sallah!

[executioneer]

Hey Willie,
Were you in Berkley Ca reciently?


http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203707504577012141105109140.html?m od=e2fb

EDIT:
D'oh Movie thread...

nope. that meetup looks like it was a tiny little one (15 people?) whereas the last one i went to had more like 35.

edit: and yeah that story actually made it to the FRONT PAGE of the wall street journal. i think i actually want to see if i can find a copy of it just for the sheer weirdness of seeing rainbow dash right below the greek debt crisis article

[Kitsa]

The My Little Pony thing must be getting pretty big, I saw that graphjam had a graph of the adult-kid viewer ratio.

I don't understand it, myself...but by all means, Willie, do your Willie thing.

[executioneer]

just remember that graphjam is more about "funny" graphs than "actually true" graphs. i'm sure the majority of the show's watchers actually are the target demographic

and i don't fully understand it myself, tbh.

[kahljorn]

haha when i thought about sliders that dudes face popped into my mind too

that nd jerry o'connel

[executioneer]

I THOUGHT OF REMBRANDT BROWN

[Esuohlim]

THE CRYIN' MAN :tear

[executioneer]

its time for everyone to get punched by a monster #whichmonster #illgiveyouoneguess

[ThrashO]

give carl nipples.