I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Sethomas]

A few days ago I observed that if an American upstart company began selling British-style tea, given American marketing habits they'd probably be most successful with a name like "Pompous English Twit" that would include a guy with bad teeth in a tuxedo on the box. It then clicked in that, for at least the naming convention, "Twinnings" has much the same effect for mental image and product association in the American mind.

[Sethomas]

Auckland is a city in New Zealand. I learned this at a tender young age when there was an episode of Full House when some of the girls sneak through airport security to see what the inside of a plane looks like, and when it takes off they hear that it's going to "Oakland" and blow it off as a mild inconvenience. It turns out that it's actually going to Auckland! What a quandary!

I think that seeing a recreation of this episode made in a post-WTC attack world would be pretty cool.

[Grislygus]

I would like to hear as many filthy Aucklish stereotypes as possible. For research purposes, you understand

Pub, help me out here

[Grislygus]

Also, Seth, I was wondering if you knew the name of that one 18th century romance novelist that always wrote about noblewomen weeping and bemoaning their fate out in forests until they just happen to meet up with and be 'comforted' by muscular goatherders

I always try to remember her name so I can tell everyone about how much I hate her guts, but then I go and forget her name

Her writing style consists of dull, single sentences spanning entire pages, and the only reason anyone remembers her is so that they can talk about a few female "great authors", if that helps

[Sethomas]

Not to Gus, but:
http://www.answers.com/topic/come-fly-with-me-full-house-episode?cat=entertainment

The way it talks about Danny "hooking up" with a woman and he can't stop talking about how "beautiful" she is gives me the mental image of malpropre* use of vulgar sexual allegory.

*I have to use this word because I don't know a good English translation for its original sense of "amiss", but I guess it's developed a different meaning in French since the 18th century that does have colorful equivalents in English.

[Sethomas]

Hug your dad once in a while.

Emu mistook the point of MM's thread for "things you'd tell Juttin's younger self".

[Asila]

It's a little creepy just how seriously they're taking that episode explanation.

[Pandajuice]

I agree with Seth that British food is fairly unremarkable unless you make it a point to look for the "delicacies" such as the aforementioned spotted dick, or haggis.

The only problem with the heart stopping British breakfast is that it comes with black pudding, which is analogous to pure sin in circular form.

While the Brits have achieved the pinnacle of candy bars (Hershey's chocolate is ass compared to the likes of Cadbury or Galaxy), their cracker and snack food selection leaves much to be desired. You'd be hard pressed to find a big bag of potato chips (that aren't split into 6 smaller bags) and it seems as if Nabisco has completely ignored the European market. It's very very sad when you can't just nip to the supermarket to pick up a box of Better Cheddars or Bugles.

[Grislygus]

I haven't eaten a candy bar in forever :( every time I feel tempted, I realize that I could use the money to buy a new pen instead

[Pub Lover]

I would like to hear as many filthy Aucklish stereotypes as possible. For research purposes, you understand

Pub, help me out here

Quite the reverse. Jafas are the clean metrosexuals that take the tax money from the pockets of the dirty & hard working kiwis.

[Grislygus]

DO you have any jafa jokes

[Pub Lover]

DO you have any jafa jokes

Yes.

[Grislygus]

Weeeeeell, let's hear em

[RaNkeri]

Oh, and England has Garfunkel's, well atleast London has.

They have delicious BBQ meals. Especially the ribs, I loved 'em and the sauce was just awesome. :yum

Best and sofar only BBQ ribs I've gotten chance to eat

[Grislygus]

Head over to Kansas or Texas sometime, you'll see what bbq sauce is, was, and always shall be

[Pub Lover]

Weeeeeell, let's hear em

You didn't ask if I had the inclination to post them.

[Grislygus]

Why not? None of us are aucklish, we're not even fellow New Zealish

[Sethomas]

Gus, I really didn't take you for the type to quote from the rosary, but okay! (I've seen the same line in a biology academic journal so it's okay.)

Since I say the rosary in Latin, that prayer always throws me off because it uses similar verbiage as the Sign of the Cross but it has to use different grammar. "Sicut erat in principio, est nunc, et in secula seculorum" is a great line to use anywhere because the original phrase for "ever shall be" means, per my own understanding of the words, "in the age of all ages".

http://www.superherostuff.com/bush_sucks_tshirts/catholicism_wow_t_shirt_1.jpg

[Esuohlim]

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=jafa+jokes

lol @ the second result

[Sethomas]

Google's spider process frustrates me a great deal for a number of reasons, but probably not nearly as much as it frustrates my large audience of people who are pissed off that they were linked to my website while trying to find scholarly resources on medieval French calligraphy because of me selling things on craig's list.

[Grislygus]

Seth, are you talking about when I (edit: attempted to, I can't say I'm well versed) used the rites of exorcism on Zeldasbiggestfan and WhiteRat freaked out because he thought it was an invocation of Satan? 'Cause I don't remember using using catholic latin phrases any more recently than that

[Pub Lover]

Why not? None of us are aucklish, we're not even fellow New Zealish

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A JAFA WITH A BEAR.

A BLIND BEAR. BECAUSE...

[Sethomas]

you'll see what bbq sauce is, was, and always shall be

That's a fairly common literary allusion to the Glory Be, one of a few formulaic prayers that actually sticks to the memory because it's so short and is used in a repetitive cycle.

Next time I have to argue with a psychologist about why a particular categorization they throw at me isn't cogent, I'll just show them a medley of my contributions to the this thread made in the past four days and the futility should be apparent.

[Pub Lover]

is, was, and always shall be

Jesus is in your head. AND YOU NEVER KNEW!

[Grislygus]

I actually wanted to quote Light Years, but that's what popped up into my head instead

But thinking I'm a sophisticant (how the fuck do you spell that) works too

[Grislygus]

That reminds me, I still need to see that in French, I think the language used would be gorgeous

[Sethomas]

I wanted to make a joke about worshiping Mary so that Jesus wasn't actually in his head, but I think it'd get lost in translation from Catholic self-deprecation to I-Mockery self-deprecation. That, and discussing theology is something I'm wary of doing on I-Mockery unless it's exploited to talk about how great my girlfriend's pussy would be if I had a girlfriend.

[Sethomas]

Aforementioned female acquaintance in real life linked me to http://www.penisland.net/ from her office, then immediately set her status to an away message.

I think I found a new supplier for when I have to replace my Montblanc.

[Grislygus]

I've always found theology kind of dull, unless it's approached from a psychological angle


The only theological discussion I'd really like to have is where the fuck these death metal bands are getting this "Eleventh Seal" crap. There are only seven in revelation, retards >:

[Grislygus]

Oh my god, Seth, your female acquaintance is my hero

[Pub Lover]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/4c/Dachau-neveragain.jpg/800px-Dachau-neveragain.jpg

[Sethomas]

I draw a distinction between theology and exegetical criticism :rolleyes :posh

Why can't the monocle guy roll his visible eye and save me the effort? Fuck, if we had an emoticon like that I don't think I'd have to post anything else.

[Pub Lover]

I've always found theology kind of dull

I happen to like arguing the same old shit over & over, it's why I'm on the internet.

[Sethomas]

Like I mentioned earlier, I can show you a YouTube video that would probably make her far less heroic. I just refuse to because I can imagine things going horribly wrong.

Or maybe that was in an AIM conversation with Pub, which is effectively the same thing as posting in this thread.

[Grislygus]

I'd like to know what specific 'holy text' these guys are getting it from, the only parallel I've managed to dig up on the subject is that the theme also apparently appears in a few video games and anime, which really somewhat confirms my theory that all death metal people are doing everything they possibly can to crush their inner dorks

[Grislygus]

God, I type slow

[Sethomas]

I actually have more than one arguably attractive female friend in this town, with whom I communicate primarily via AIM.

Seth: you've yet to sling comments at me that uncomfortably straddle the fence between facetiousness and actual deep personal contempt for my existence, in the bloomington thread about Baked

[Pandajuice]

You're right GG. Theology IS boring.

[Grislygus]

I get the distinct impression, that, if we ever met in real life, I would be found to be a slow witted insect

[Grislygus]

IN REGARDS TO SETH. NOT THAT GUY, SETH!

[Pandajuice]

IN REGARDS TO SETH. NOT THAT GUY, SETH!

No need to make the distinction, you'd be pretty slow next to me as well.

[Grislygus]

I REALLY doubt that you'd be much use in a discussion as to whether or not Voltaire grew alongside Candide

[Asila]

I was going to say something very self-deprecating about how is it you guys have all these friends in comparison to my complete lack, and then I realized that some combination of leaving the house and NOT TRYING SO FUCKING HARD would be helpful.

[Sethomas]

I'm really not the guy to consult for Simpsons references, but there's one that really touches my heart.

I think a mid- or late-90s episode had Lisa meet a fellow intelligent girl her own age, and by that time the show had established her as an unrealistically intelligent 8-year-old. When she meets the girl with her father, they invite her to play a game where he says the name of a public figure and she has to devise an anagram of the name that describes him/her. He throws one out, then his daughter replies in within a few seconds. Lisa, when given one, just hums uncomfortably and then the father gives her a ball to play with.

I love it because my life from 2002-2005 was a constant oscillation of which side of the equation I was on.

[Grislygus]

And I HIGHLY doubt that you've read Tennyson

[Grislygus]

Not you, Seth


Wait, I actually haven't seen that episode, was it a newer one

[Pub Lover]

You're right GG. Theology IS boring.

NO OPINIONS HERE, JUST COLD, UNCARING FACT!

[Asila]

:EMO

and I dislike discussing theology only because I get really easily frustrated by people who insist on using repetitive and moronic arguments for ANY side.

[Sethomas]

Well, to be fair, I found both Tennyson and Byron so tedious that I frequently mix up their works and biographical details.

[Pub Lover]

I was going to say something very self-deprecating about how is it you guys have all these friends in comparison to my complete lack, and then I realized that some combination of leaving the house and NOT TRYING SO FUCKING HARD would be helpful.

Congratulations! You are the female Pub!

[Asila]

Well, to be fair, I found both Tennyson and Byron so tedious that I frequently mix up their works and biographical details.

I would have said overly self-involved over tedious, but I've no question that you chose the better description.

Congratulations! You are the female Pub!

SUCCESS. I will celebrate by getting trashed.

[Grislygus]

I hate poetry in general, but Tennyson's just plain beautiful

Besides, the first poem of his that I read was The Kraken, and somber moods with water imagery is really my thing

[Pub Lover]

Wait, I actually haven't seen that episode, was it a newer one
No, it's pretty old.

It touched my heart.

[Pub Lover]

http://www.animationusa.com/picts/wdpict/2_Cindy-Ending.jpg

[Esuohlim]

Congratulations! You are the female Pub!

If that is true then if you two ever meet it will surely be the end of the world.

But we won't have to worry about that because of the whole not-leaving-the-house thing :whew

[Grislygus]

I thought I saw all the older ones

I'm a goddamned failure

[Sethomas]

Well, I usually talk about theology in a historical context, so it's pointless to take it seriously outside of "NO, SHITHEAD, it's obvious that Aquinas would argue that FIFTEEN angels could dance on the end of a needle pin!"*

I do take certain realms of theology pretty seriously, but that's because it's mostly shit I made up when I was 17.

*Popular cliché often mistaken for an actual medieval debate, but actually invented by later satirists.

[Grislygus]

I LEAVE THE HOUSE REGULARLY

to go to the publishing lab

[Pandajuice]

I REALLY doubt that you'd be much use in a discussion as to whether or not Voltaire grew alongside Candide

Probably not seeing as how I prefer to explore and discuss my own theories of the ties between freedom, religion, and the state rather than plagiarize, or compare, other people's ideas.

[Grislygus]

I'm a big mythology freak, so I get involved with theology when the two bleed into each other

[Asila]

Tennyson is certainly memorable and I couldn't possibly hope to do better on the very best of my perfect days, so I'm not one to pick too much, but... Well, I've always been attached to Wordsworth.

[Grislygus]

PJ, if you're not actually going to say anything, shutcher trap

[Pub Lover]

If that is true

It's not true, she merely said something stupid.

[Grislygus]

I've actually never read much of wordsworth :(

[Pub Lover]

Probably not seeing as how I prefer to explore and discuss my own theories of the ties between freedom, religion, and the state rather than plagiarize, or compare, other people's ideas.

Yeah, no one but you has good ideas.

[Pandajuice]

I'm a big mythology freak, so I get involved with theology when the two bleed into each other

I've always preferred philisophical discussions concerning the existence of the human (or animal) soul rather than Theology. But then again, Theology can be pretty interesting if explored counter-intuitively in a philisophical manner rather than a religious one.

[Asila]

If that is true then if you two ever meet it will surely be the end of the world.

But we won't have to worry about that because of the whole not-leaving-the-house thing :whew

I was going to agree, but

It's not true, she merely said something stupid.

I'm using that as evidence to the argument that we'd probably actively dislike each other.

[Asila]

Grislygus:

http://www.online-literature.com/wordsworth/2208/

[Pandajuice]

Yeah, no one but you has good ideas.

People have great ideas. But why not tell me yours rather than someone else's from 200 years ago?

[Sethomas]

Probably not seeing as how I prefer to explore and discuss my own theories of the ties between freedom, religion, and the state rather than plagiarize, or compare, other people's ideas.

Alright, I'll remind you that Isaac Newton may have had certain eccentricities that are outright stupid by modern viewers, but he was probably more intelligent than your intelligence is capable of formulating a coherent image against which you could base comparison against yourself.

Also, he wasn't really famous for being humble, either.

He said something like,
"If I have been able to see further than anyone else, it is merely because I have been standing on the shoulders of giants."

(I'll not look up the exact quote because I want to impress you with my memory of how close I came to it.)

So, yeah, saying that you ignore Voltaire because you have your own views, which I'm sure have all the uniqueness and profundity to shatter the earth, is pretty fucking stupid.

[Grislygus]

Please, PJ, elaborate on these discussions

[Pub Lover]

People have great ideas. But why not tell me yours rather than someone else's from 200 years ago?

Because most of the things I hear as 'original ideas' have already been explored 200 years ago by someone much smarter & interesting than you.

[Grislygus]

Whoah, where'd he say that

I'm losing track here

[Grislygus]

Oh wait, there it is

Is he retarded

[Pub Lover]

"If I have been able to see further than anyone else, it is merely because I have been standing on the shoulders of giants.".

I always like the story behind that. The next letter was all "YOU'RE A MIDGET? I HAD NO IDEA! LET ME APOLOGISE PROFUSELY!"

[Sethomas]

If I have seen further it is by standing on ye* shoulders of Giants

Hey, I didn't know that Leibniz was really all that tall! BUUURRRRRRRRRRN!

*If this is "ye" for the reason that comes to mind, related to the "Ye Olde Taverne" cliché, then someone in the wikiquote world is tragically stupid for having access to the original typeface of this quote yet not understanding how to read it.

[Asila]

Quote:

"My favourite piece of information is that Branwell Brontë, brother of Emily and Charlotte, died standing up leaning against a mantelpiece, in order to prove it could be done. This is not quite true, in fact. My absolute favourite piece of information is the fact that young sloths are so inept that they frequently grab their own arms and legs instead of tree limbs, and fall out of trees. "

By Douglas Adams. It doesn't fit so well into the current conversation but it's my favourite quote and I can't imagine it coming up in a better situation.

[Pandajuice]

So, yeah, saying that you ignore Voltaire because you have your own views, which I'm sure have all the uniqueness and profundity to shatter the earth, is pretty fucking stupid.

It's a good thing I'm not trying to shatter the Earth with my philisophical views then I guess. I just find it more interesting to have a discussion with someone who isn't constantly saying "Voltaire said in 1789...", and can show me their intelligence (and expand mine) by coming up with original thoughts.

On the other hand, how much does knowing and quoting Voltaire pay these days?

[Pub Lover]

http://z.about.com/d/tvcomedies/1/7/c/1/-/-/becki_newton.jpg

[Pub Lover]

http://www.crystalinks.com/newton.jpg

[Asila]

:love

[Grislygus]

MY PERSONAL AND ORIGINAL BELIEFS ARE THAT STARGATE SG-1 IS BY FAR SUPERIOR TO THE OLD BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, THOUGH NOT NECESSARILY THE NEW SHOW. VOLTAIRE, KISS MY FLABBY, WIDE, AMERICAN ASS

[Pandajuice]

Please, PJ, elaborate on these discussions
Which discussion? All I see are 3 different people talking to themselves about 3 different topics and my having to defend myself when I attempted to add my input.

So please, let me know what topic you wish me to elaborate on and I shall.

[Sethomas]

Honestly, I was going to respond with the estimates of some friends' present salaries that they earned with university and grad school experience that both required and enhanced such grasps on such things. But, for unrelated reasons it hurts my head so trust me when I say "a lot, if you're actually good at it."

[Pub Lover]

All I see are 3 different people talking to themselves about 3 different topics and my having to defend myself when I attempted to add my input.

For being such a genius, Peggy Hill, you sure seem to have a hard time dealing with the nature of the internet.

[RaNkeri]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v202/RaNkeri/vernonwells.jpg

[Asila]

For being such a genius, Peggy Hill, you sure seem to have a hard time dealing with the nature of the internet.
I just said that in my head using John McGinley's voice and I'm embarrassed to admit that I lol'd

[Pub Lover]

MY PERSONAL AND ORIGINAL BELIEFS ARE THAT STARGATE SG-1 IS BY FAR SUPERIOR TO THE OLD BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, THOUGH NOT NECESSARILY THE NEW SHOW.

Which seasons? Final season 70's BSG (super powered children traveling through time & all) isn't as bad as current SG-1.

Also, rewatching Buck Rogers recently I wondered why that hadn't been remade, oh wait! Farscape.

[Sethomas]

*If this is "ye" for the reason that comes to mind, related to the "Ye Olde Taverne" cliché, then someone in the wikiquote world is tragically stupid for having access to the original typeface of this quote yet not understanding how to read it.

Guys, that was an invitation to ask me for a riveting discussion about how þ, Ð/ð, the Greek letter Upsilon, our Y, both phonemes made with "th" in modern English, other archaic letters I can't find on the character map, and the vowel shift of the high middle ages all came together in evolution of the English language to form one of the most perplexing semiotic clusterfucks in history.

IT'S TOO LATE NOW, DON'T EVEN TRY.

[Pub Lover]

I just said that in my head using John McGinley's voice and I'm embarrassed to admit that I lol'd

I daydream John C. McGinley & Hugh Laurie team-up fanfiction. :x

[Sethomas]

What about John Goodman and Hugh Laurie? :eek

[Pub Lover]

Guys, that was an invitation to ask me for a riveting discussion about how þ, Ð/ð, the Greek letter Upsilon, our Y, both phonemes made with "th" in modern English, other archaic letters I can't find on the character map, and the vowel shift of the high middle ages all came together in evolution of the English language to form one of the most perplexing semiotic clusterfucks in history.

Mush like the British poet discussion a page back, that was a topic I explored fully on this board five years ago & now have no interest in reevaluating.

Good try though.

[Grislygus]

Which discussion? All I see are 3 different people talking to themselves about 3 different topics and my having to defend myself when I attempted to add my input.

So please, let me know what topic you wish me to elaborate on and I shall.

I can't even remember, I'm too baffled by your last bit of "input".

Hang on, let me try to begin to dissect the logic here. You make the point that I am dumber than you are, and I sarcastically counterpoint that you aren't exactly an intellectual, using an example of something that I am interested in, and that I know there is a zero percent chance of you knowing about, let alone being interested in.

This is a risk, because if you ARE interested in Voltaire's overall philosophy in Candide, you'll soon make me look like an idiot. However, your response, as predicted, is that you are not interested in the subject.

In fact, interest in Voltaire is a handicap. At first, it appears that you might be making the point that I am unoriginal for being willing to partake in a debate that has been going for centuries. Later, however, in a response to Seth, it becomes apparent that the mere mention of Voltaire is what you are irritated by, which could be due to the fact that you're talking out of your ass and are intimidated by a subject that you know fuck-all about, but that's just conjecture.

To justify your interesting position that you are smarter than people who are knowledgeable about Voltaire merely for the fact that you are not, you take up the stance that you come up with what we might call "original content", and we do not. Seth infers once again that you are an idiot and that your point is stupid, far more eloquently than I have at this point.

You return fire by claiming that it's "a good thing [you're] not trying to shatter the Earth with [your] philisophical views then [you] guess." You are justified in not caring about Voltaire because you are uninterested in having new and compelling ideas, therefore definitively proving that you are a genius.

You finish with the point that it's "more interesting to have a discussion with someone who isn't constantly saying "Voltaire said in 1789...", inferring that a single offhanded mention of Voltaire is pretentious and that you are more interested in having a conversation with someone who can prove their intelligence and expand yours by talking about "new" things which, since they do not talk about any previously explored ideas, have little to do with history, literature, or science. Instead, this person must come up with new and compelling ideas of their own, which you have already stated that you personally are uninterested in having, you leech.

Then you finish with the inference that knowing about Voltaire is a liability in the job market.






Seeing as how the conversation will have hurtled forward by this point, and unraveling your backwards, monkey brain so far has proven that it is not worth the effort, I'm just going to continue taunting you for being a retard from now on.

[Pub Lover]

What about John Goodman and Hugh Laurie? :eek

With House MD treating the American King of England? :rock

[Asila]

I daydream John C. McGinley & Hugh Laurie team-up fanfiction. :x

HAWT. Crap, I don't know if I'm kidding anymore.

Grisly: Without getting too involved in the convo, I have to commend your patience.

[Grislygus]

If I DIDN'T effectively prove that I can counterpoint, then I wouldn't be justified in belittling the twat

[Sethomas]

Yeah, dealing with people like that is sometimes best summarized by the Simpsons vignette I mentioned. That's why I always keep balls on me that I can condescendingly inform them of their stupidity by placing them in their hands.

It's just really hard to do, psychologically speaking, when you're not entirely sure that they won't squeeze once they have your scrotum in their palms.

[Asila]

Goal: accomplished.

[Pub Lover]

If I DIDN'T effectively prove that I can counterpoint, then I wouldn't be justified in belittling the twat

I agree, but I really don't have the patience or remaining skill for such things.

OH FOR THE GOLDEN DAYS OF YOUTH, WHERE I ONLY USED THE SHIFT KEY TO BEGIN WORDS.

[RaNkeri]

A bag of Sourcream & onion flavored chips
A bag of cheese puffs

I can't decide which one I should pick - It's your call

[Pub Lover]

A bag of Sourcream & onion flavored chips
A bag of cheese puffs

I can't decide which one I should pick - It's your call

Put Seth's balls in your mouth.

[Pub Lover]

http://toto.lib.unca.edu/findingaids/mss/perkinson/ball2417.jpg

[RaNkeri]

Put Seth's balls in your mouth.

We don't have that brand in Finland :(

[Asila]

We don't have that brand in Finland :(

It must be a regional thing.

[Sethomas]

I mentioned testicular anxiety recently here and in normal conversational flow of IN REAL LIFE FEMALE FRIENDS (on AIM), but the "balls in the mouth" thing is something I avoid.

It's a common cultural thing to talking about having one's balls in someone else's mouth, whether for denigration or unity or whatever.

Having had my balls in the mouth of someone in whom I could, at the time, place my highest level of trust, I can say that for me it was absolutely horrifying. I had to play it off as if I were enjoying the experience, because that's just common courtesy, but in my mind I was cowering as I had never cowered in any of my frequent brushes with death. Maybe this should be the subject of psychological research into what personality types can enjoy and pursue having one's balls in someone's mouth, but I simply lack the ability to trust any human being with the kind of power that comes with having my testicles near their molars and the powerful jaw muscles from which they derive their utility.

[Hobo Renee]

We don't have that brand in Finland :(

Have you tried the KKK Supermarket?

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y158/iheartwestsac/kkkmart.jpg

[Asila]

I mentioned testicular anxiety recently here and in normal conversational flow of IN REAL LIFE FEMALE FRIENDS (on AIM), but the "balls in the mouth" thing is something I avoid.

It's a common cultural thing to talking about having one's balls in someone else's mouth, whether for denigration or unity or whatever.

Having had my balls in the mouth of someone in whom I could, at the time, place my highest level of trust, I can say that for me it was absolutely horrifying. I had to play it off as if I were enjoying the experience, because that's just common courtesy, but in my mind I was cowering as I had never cowered in any of my frequent brushes with death. Maybe this should be the subject of psychological research into what personality types can enjoy and pursue having one's balls in someone's mouth, but I simply lack the ability to trust any human being with the kind of power that comes with having my testicles near their molars and the powerful jaw muscles from which they derive their utility.


Which indicates--the way I read it, at least--that you're far more comfortable with the idea of placing other significant parts of the male anatomy into someone's mouth which does make me wonder, psychologically, whether you equate balls with manliness. And no I don't just mean you specifically, I mean as a general rule is that a guy thing. If you ask a lot of women (certainly not all, but I imagine a large enough number of them) they would probably reply or assume that a guy's vision of manliness is based purely off the penis, with the testes being a secondary consideration.
And YES I'm asking seriously, it's rather fascinating.

[Pandajuice]

I can't even remember, I'm too baffled by your last bit of "input".

Hang on, let me try to begin to dissect the logic here. You make the point that I am dumber than you are, and I sarcastically counterpoint that you aren't exactly an intellectual, using an example of something that I am interested in, and that I know there is a zero percent chance of you knowing about, let alone being interested in.

This is a risk, because if you ARE interested in Voltaire's overall philosophy in Candide, you'll soon make me look like an idiot. However, your response, as predicted, is that you are not interested in the subject.

In fact, interest in Voltaire is a handicap. At first, it appears that you might be making the point that I am unoriginal for being willing to partake in a debate that has been going for centuries. Later, however, in a response to Seth, it becomes apparent that the mere mention of Voltaire is what you are irritated by, which could be due to the fact that you're talking out of your ass and are intimidated by a subject that you know fuck-all about, but that's just conjecture.

To justify your interesting position that you are smarter than people who are knowledgeable about Voltaire merely for the fact that you are not, you take up the stance that you come up with what we might call "original content", and we do not. Seth infers once again that you are an idiot and that your point is stupid, far more eloquently than I have at this point.

You return fire by claiming that it's "a good thing [you're] not trying to shatter the Earth with [your] philisophical views then [you] guess." You are justified in not caring about Voltaire because you are uninterested in having new and compelling ideas, therefore definitively proving that you are a genius.

You finish with the point that it's "more interesting to have a discussion with someone who isn't constantly saying "Voltaire said in 1789...", inferring that a single offhanded mention of Voltaire is pretentious and that you are more interested in having a conversation with someone who can prove their intelligence and expand yours by talking about "new" things which, since they do not talk about any previously explored ideas, have little to do with history, literature, or science. Instead, this person must come up with new and compelling ideas of their own, which you have already stated that you personally are uninterested in having, you leech.

Then you finish with the inference that knowing about Voltaire is a liability in the job market.




That'd be an awesome theory and counter-point except the whole thing was predicated on my attempting humor through some gentle ribbing (as is the norm from these forums that I have picked up). I think what followed was unfair and uncalled for since I did attempt to further and add to the conversation by putting forth my opinions regarding the discussions of theology and philosophy (in that I'd rather hear someone's own thoughts and words [not necessarily wholly original] than verbatim quotes of others).

Apparantly though you were so fixated on proving me "a retard" that you took it to such a personal level. I know rule #1 on these forums is to not take anything personally, but I guess I have a hard time doing that seeing as how I come here to enjoy myself and hopefully partake in conversations that are either zany or intelligent.

Failing that, and if abuse is more the norm than gentle ribbing, then there's no real reason my being here. Have fun guys.

[RaNkeri]

Have you tried the KKK Supermarket?

Yeah, although the closest Supermarket I have nearby is KKKK Supermarket :/

All we have are Taffel and Estrella.

[Pub Lover]

the "balls in the mouth" thing is something I avoid.

I knew this. :\

[Hobo Renee]

I actually live across the street from a K Market. All they have is Pirkka. My life is hard.

[Pub Lover]

if abuse is more the norm than gentle ribbing, then there's no real reason my being here. Have fun guys.

Did he just quit? Score one for the home team!

[Hobo Renee]

Free pizza for the winning class!

[Pub Lover]

Did he just quit? Score one for the homo team!

:rolleyes

[Asila]

Did he just quit? Score one for the home team!
It won't last


Quote:
Originally Posted by Pub Lover http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=548212#post548212)
Did he just quit? Score one for the homo team!

:rolleyes:


:rolleyes

[Tadao]

I've had my balls sucked on and it hurts me. My balls are way to sensitive.

[MattJack]

That's what happens when you try to make a vacuum love you.

[Pub Lover]

I just had the most embarrassing argument with someone half my age.

While I was drunk.

That's a freepass right? Being drunk?

He didn't seem to get any of my jokes either, so maybe they were too esoteric for general internet use.

Also, he kept complaining that I was talking too long to reply, even after I mentioned being drunk. Does he think he's the only thing on the internet worth paying attention to? Fartin does that too, but I've learned to actually pay attention to him as he sincerely thinks I'm the best thing the internet ever shat out.

[RaNkeri]

How much did you have? >:

[Esuohlim]

Haha were you talking to RANKERI? :rolleyes

[executioneer]

guys i cant believe nobody celebrated page 1500

[RaNkeri]

We're trying to have a serious conversation here, Milhouse :posh

[Pub Lover]

Plus he seemed to think my IM avatar of a person crying meant I was somehow the person crying.

I also have one with Sarah Michelle Geller, that doesn't mean I'm the Slayer.

He tried to claim two Buffy character names as his own, & also didn't know who Lex Luthor was. Then he suggested that I prove I was as smart as him by telling him the 18th diget of Pi. Who calculates Pi in their head?

I'd think he'd be mocking me, but his spelling & grammar were on a par with my own IM garbage.

[Pub Lover]

guys i cant believe nobody celebrated page 1500

I celebrated as hard as I could by trying not to post on it.

[GADZOOKS]

So if you guys had an I-mockery user blog :lol :lol

What would you post? :lol

[GADZOOKS]

http://www.nick.com/all_nick/tv_supersites/images/img_dou_dou.gif

Dear I-Mockery Multi-Colored Loose Leaf Paper,

it just doesn't feel right

[Pub Lover]

How much did you have? >:
Are you still talking to the adjective Renee about potato chips?

[RaNkeri]

I was referring to the amount of drinks you've consumed to get yourself drunk :rolleyes

[RaNkeri]

Although you're clearly sober enough to write :lol

[GADZOOKS]

It's funny because I have diabetes, folks :rolleyes

[RaNkeri]

Sports forum All-Star :rolleyes

[Pub Lover]

So if you guys had an I-mockery user blog :lol :lol

What would you post? :lol

I'd have the intention of writing a long screed about my sad feelings concerning everyone shitting on Rog's enthusiasm, but I'd probably only write a couple of lines that summarize my thoughts & then post an emoticon as emphasis. :(

It's what happens all the time now.

[Pub Lover]

I was referring to the amount of drinks you've consumed to get yourself drunk :rolleyes

Um, who do you think I am? & How long do you think I take to type each reply?

[GADZOOKS]

TOP BLOGS OF THE FORE NIGHT

Zomboid - Today I Found New Reasons To Hate Guitar Wo... -(265 views)
Sacks - Do you like Zombies? I do! - (186 views)
Esuohlim - FRANK ZAPPA REVIEW #3455: Johanathan's Trombone #3 - (93 views)
Sethomas - Calling all prudes - (72 views)
Fathom Zero - I got something to say (2 views)

[GADZOOKS]

Zeldasbiggestfan - Another day, another missing 40 dollars - (1,394 views 99 comments)

[Pub Lover]

Although you're clearly sober enough to write :lol

Uh, I lose the ability to stand & see long before I can't type a forum post.

Especially of equal or greater quality to anything I see you post, Cockshire.

[RaNkeri]

But someone has to be here to fill up the bullshit filter :x

[GADZOOKS]

Sports forum All-Star :rolleyes

I can't go in there anymore now that someone has a drawn together avatar.

[Pub Lover]

But someone has to be here to fill up the bullshit filter :x

You suck.


Do I ever do that? Just outright say why I find it hard to reply to a post? Normally I either ignore it, or leave it for later & consideration.

Rankeri, you do not ever post anything of which I have taken note. You can say anything you like about the things I post, I've probably said it first, but there are people that occasionally say nice things about me, even if it is laced with enough irony to kill a horse. When does that happen for you?

To reiterate my premise: You suck.

[Pub Lover]

I was referring to the amount of drinks you've consumed to get yourself drunk :rolleyes

It's not a competition, Son.

[GADZOOKS]

this forum desperately needs a emotiocon with sunglasses because that was pretty cool

[GADZOOKS]

http://img412.imageshack.us/img412/8263/coolwm5.gifthis will do http://img412.imageshack.us/img412/8263/coolwm5.gif

also, I hope milhouse reads my doug reference before the page break >:

[RaNkeri]

Damn Pub, you got it all wrong :<

I don't know how clear was it for you, but I was referring to myself as the one who has to be here to take care of the bullshit filter

[Esuohlim]

also, I hope milhouse reads my doug reference before the page break >:

http://img119.imageshack.us/img119/9611/douggo7.jpg

"DAAAWWW, Porkchop, you're supposed to bag the neematoad not cream it!"

[Pub Lover]

Damn Pub, you got it all wrong :<

I don't know how clear was it for you, but I was referring to myself as the one who has to be here to take care of the bullshit filter

Haha, now you know how I make Asila feel. ;)

[Pub Lover]

Having fifty pounds of rice in a sack in my kitchen isn't weird. >:

[Pub Lover]

http://img119.imageshack.us/img119/9611/douggo7.jpg

You should smile more often in your photos.

[Asila]

Haha, now you know how I make Asila feel. ;)

See, and I thought we had one of those confusing internet love/hate relationships and then you go and compare me to RaNkeri so maybe not.
Then again maybe so.

[Pub Lover]

I don't hate you. :(

[WhiteRat]

Jesus fucking christ Rankeri, stop using so many god rolling eyes emoticons. If I had a hemorrhoid for every time you used that emoticon my prolapsed anus would stretch several city blocks.

[Pub Lover]

http://a.abcnews.com/images/International/ap_harry_080228_ms.jpg

[Chojin]

i didn't even notice him getting abused, but one less oversensitive idiot is always good

[Asila]

I don't hate you. :(


THE IMPLICATIONS
I am very tentatively getting all warm and fuzzy

[GADZOOKS]

i didn't even notice him getting abused, but one less oversensitive idiot is always good

are you talking about Rankeri or did I miss a page?

[Chojin]

i was talking about that guy whose name i don't remember

[Asila]

My daughter has pulled all of her large stuffed animals into the living room, arranged them into formation, and is currently laying out on them and watching Scrubs.
I KNOW NO ONE CARES BUT IT'S CUTE AS HELL.

Chojin: Pandajuice?

[GADZOOKS]

Scrubs contains sexual imagery and allusions to using drug paraphernalia

[Esuohlim]

Who the hell is pandajuice

[Asila]

Scrubs contains sexual imagery and allusions to using drug paraphernalia


It also contains Zach Braff or however you spell his name and for some reason his voice amuses her.


Who the hell is pandajuice


Some guy. He posted a goodbye forever message today.

[Pub Lover]

i didn't even notice him getting abused, but one less oversensitive idiot is always good

Did he complain in some private manner? :(

[GADZOOKS]

That'd be an awesome theory and counter-point except the whole thing was predicated on my attempting humor through some gentle ribbing (as is the norm from these forums that I have picked up). I think what followed was unfair and uncalled for since I did attempt to further and add to the conversation by putting forth my opinions regarding the discussions of theology and philosophy (in that I'd rather hear someone's own thoughts and words [not necessarily wholly original] than verbatim quotes of others).

Apparantly though you were so fixated on proving me "a retard" that you took it to such a personal level. I know rule #1 on these forums is to not take anything personally, but I guess I have a hard time doing that seeing as how I come here to enjoy myself and hopefully partake in conversations that are either zany or intelligent.

Failing that, and if abuse is more the norm than gentle ribbing, then there's no real reason my being here. Have fun guys.

I though he was a girl, now I know what Chojin was talking about.

[Tadao]

It also contains Zach Braff or however you spell his name and for some reason his voice amuses her.



Some guy. He posted a goodbye forever message today.

Did he? Lame

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I bet he sticks around but doesn't say anything? Is there purgatory on the internet?

[Tadao]

That'd be an awesome theory and counter-point except the whole thing was predicated on my attempting humor through some gentle ribbing (as is the norm from these forums that I have picked up). I think what followed was unfair and uncalled for since I did attempt to further and add to the conversation by putting forth my opinions regarding the discussions of theology and philosophy (in that I'd rather hear someone's own thoughts and words [not necessarily wholly original] than verbatim quotes of others).

Apparantly though you were so fixated on proving me "a retard" that you took it to such a personal level. I know rule #1 on these forums is to not take anything personally, but I guess I have a hard time doing that seeing as how I come here to enjoy myself and hopefully partake in conversations that are either zany or intelligent.

Failing that, and if abuse is more the norm than gentle ribbing, then there's no real reason my being here. Have fun guys.

Boo Fucking Hoo

[Colonel Flagg]

Lame

Ditto.

Admittedly, I don't post in the "chat" thread very often, but to post just to say "b'bye everybody, thanks for sharing and caring" really is lame.

[Asila]

I wondered why it suddenly became so empty and then I realized: It's friday night. BUGGER ALL

[Tadao]

http://producten.hema.nl/

Wait for it... Wait for it....

[Asila]

That was SO awesome

[Sethomas]

Asila-

Human evolution is remarkably skilled at preserving the species. From a biological standpoint, a male whose testicular utility is compromised no longer serves a worthwhile function for the species. Because of this, males are endowed with the gift of a very unique sense of pain that teaches us very early in life to protect the organs that embody our evolutionary raison d'être.

It's not even the degree of pain involved, and the whole testicles=manliness thing never enters the argument. Testicular pain is just unique in how the brain processes it, and you should be thankful that you were born in such a way that you will never experience it. It's not unlikely that you'll experience, in terms of raw magnitude, an equal or worse pain than what most men experience from scrotal misadventures. You've had a child--this affirms as much.

Let me put it into perspective. Imagine the flick of your index finger made by springing it off your thumb. Now, apply that to the male testes. To flick a male right on one of their testicles will induce severe pain, but not actually "extreme" and it will probably dissipate fairly quickly despite testicular pain lasting a notoriously long time. Now, imagine cutting off his penis. To do so would cause, by all means, EXTREME pain that will linger for an extremely long time and would carry with it extreme psychological ramifications inso far as the male would thenceforth be incapable of an orgasm and he would have to identify as being eternally emasculated by the most literal of senses.

Alright. Now, this works for me, but I assume it works for a lot of guys. I'm in a bizarre hypothetical situation where I have to choose between merely flicking my testicle with my own finger or cutting off my own penis by an act of my own effort. Obviously, I'd flick myself in the ball. No issue whatsoever. However, let's pretend that the universe was split into multiverses, one where I had to cut off my penis and one where I'd flick myself in the ball.

Obviously, the penis thing would suck a LOT more. But honestly, especially in proportion to the respective consequences:
After having gone through a long mental tribulation period where I have to come to terms with what's about to happen, the way the mind is wired would make it harder for me to make an instantaneous flick than to begin to cut off my penis. Obviously, TOTALLY irrational. But that's how we're wired.

That's what I think about when my testicles are in someone's mouth.

[Dr. Octogonopus]

Seth, you remind me of my cousin Jarrod: full of ancient wisdom.

[Dr. Octogonopus]

http://wearscience.com/design/hugger/
Does anyone else want one of these shirts as badly as I do? The robot one is best.

[Asila]

I know that I can make some kind of rational and intelligent comment about the nature of a man protecting his testicles versus a woman giving birth and the various pains associated with both, because as you've said I've done the childbirth thing. From what I've heard--and you've just said this yourself--a man in pain because of some real or imagined damage done to his scrotum is pure and heart stopping pain. Pushing a child out of your body certainly hurts, but it's almost a triumphant pain, a pain that your mind can accept. A man who has been injured in that area in some manner simply wants nothing more than to protect it immediately, yeah? And so a man who has allowed someone else to place their mouth around the tenderest and least protected part of them has opened themselves up to possible harm, and thus their instinct is to protect it rather than think of it as an enjoyable sensation?

[Dr. Octogonopus]

I think that shows a lot of trust. Or maybe irresponsible lust. Badum-tisch.

[Misdemonar]

pandajucie shoyulda posted porn or something

[Terra]

shut up

[Misdemonar]

OH NO TERRA

[GADZOOKS]

shhhhutup

[Sethomas]

When you turn your back on me you get my sympathy. When I turn my back on you I get your knife.

Goddamn neophytes can't tell an action movie cliché waiting to happen from a Papa Roach lyric that probably already HAS happened.

[Misdemonar]

:tear

[GADZOOKS]

We have a few birthdays today!

El Douche (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/member.php?u=5051) is 20 years old! He has had 11 posts since registering March 16th, 2007

His most famous post

about his screename
never heard of it. I'm on another forum and someone had this sn and i Liked it so i stole it for the guy on the other forum. Im really bad at coming up with message board handleshis last post

One of the best parts of the site is the mp3 of the fake interviews you did with Sean Connery and Christopher walken. I would love to hear more interviews.His thread got 0 replies.

ALSO! Sticks (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/member.php?u=2439)has reached non-Judaic adulthood by turning 18 years old. She had a whopping 26 posts since he registered October 17th 2007.

her most famous post
http://a4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/64/l_0003b3787d90f3a65258b1112c0ac76b.jpg

http://a299.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/69/l_66f56fff346ac04b3594f0229b223582.jpg

HELLOhttp://a4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/64/l_0003b3787d90f3a65258b1112c0ac76b.jpg

http://a299.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/69/l_66f56fff346ac04b3594f0229b223582.jpg

HELLOhttp://a4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/64/l_0003b3787d90f3a65258b1112c0ac76b.jpg

http://a299.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/69/l_66f56fff346ac04b3594f0229b223582.jpg

HELLOhttp://a4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/64/l_0003b3787d90f3a65258b1112c0ac76b.jpg

http://a299.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/69/l_66f56fff346ac04b3594f0229b223582.jpg

HELLOhttp://a4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/64/l_0003b3787d90f3a65258b1112c0ac76b.jpg

http://a299.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/69/l_66f56fff346ac04b3594f0229b223582.jpg

HELLOhttp://a4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/64/l_0003b3787d90f3a65258b1112c0ac76b.jpg

http://a299.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/69/l_66f56fff346ac04b3594f0229b223582.jpg

HELLOhttp://a4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/64/l_0003b3787d90f3a65258b1112c0ac76b.jpg

http://a299.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/69/l_66f56fff346ac04b3594f0229b223582.jpg

HELLO

her last post

NO SMOKING

I guess she got smoked out.

[Asila]

Gadzooks: Have you considered the idea that you've too much time on your hands?

[Sethomas]

That brings back memories of very deep confusion when I misread that picture post as "Sacks" upon its first time around.

[Dr. Octogonopus]

That probably applies to all of us.

[GADZOOKS]

there is a birthday button and a search function, its not that hard

but yeah I do, and it's fucking great

[Sethomas]

Asila-

Integrity forces me to bring up the issue of "I-Mockery" perspective: I did, quite recently, just type a 400+-word missive about interplay of biology, evolution, and psychology that was rather un-ironically concluded with an assertion that such things enter my head when a girl is massaging my gonads with her tongue.

"Too much time" is something that one should not use against one's enemies, lest it be used against themselves in due turn.

[Asila]

My over-abundance of time just depresses me

[Asila]

Asila-

Integrity forces me to bring up the issue of "I-Mockery" perspective: I did, quite recently, just type a 400+-word missive about interplay of biology, evolution, and psychology that was rather un-ironically concluded with an assertion that such things enter my head when a girl is massaging my gonads with her tongue.

"Too much time" is something that one should not use against one's enemies, lest it be used against themselves in due turn.


Again, I have too much time and it depresses me. I wasn't faulting him, I was just asking.

And all that coming from the guy who at least has AIM chats, THIS IS ALL I HAVE RIGHT NOW.

[Sethomas]

Yeah, about those AIM chats.

I think I mentioned here that SHE STARTED IT when it came to talking about testicles, or something. I don't remember and I won't look it up.

Since it was so very relevant, I posted a copy and paste job of the statement I made originally expressing how horrific I find ball-sucking. It was in an odd period where she was getting ready to leave work and I was making myself late to work. I kept reminding myself to put the whole thing in quotes so that it would obviously have been taken as coming from a different context, and my authorship could be contested from her perspective.

I forgot to put it in quotes, then I had to leave immediately before she could respond.

At work, I realized that without the quotation marks, it probably came off as "Hey, I know this might seem random right now, but if it ever comes up I'm really not the kind of guy who likes getting his balls sucked. Just a little 'FYI', take it as you will."

Which, I guess I can live with that.

[Asila]

At work, I realized that without the quotation marks, it probably came off as "Hey, I know this might seem random right now, but if it ever comes up I'm really not the kind of guy who likes getting his balls sucked. Just a little 'FYI', take it as you will."

Which, I guess I can live with that.

I'm feeling saucy so I'll say hey, I'll keep that in mind.

But my point was that, whether or not you talk about ball-sucking or the exact english translation of the complete works of Proust, at least you have conversations that don't completely rely on people hanging around I-mock all day.

[Guitar Woman]

so my parents are getting a divorce!

[Asila]

so my parents are getting a divorce!


I don't know if a :( is appropriate, but :(

And Jesus Pub, check your ICQ once in a freaking while

[Guitar Woman]

I'm not surprised, honestly. I'm glad I'm moving out in the fall, I wouldn't want to choose between the two of them for living arrangements as I don't like either of them very much.

[Asila]

I love thunderstorms, assuming that my power doesn't go out.


I'm not surprised, honestly. I'm glad I'm moving out in the fall, I wouldn't want to choose between the two of them for living arrangements as I don't like either of them very much.


Again, I don't know the complete situation but in many ways you're lucky. At least they waited until you were older and at least you weren't surprised by the turn of events.

[Pub Lover]

And Jesus Pub, check your ICQ once in a freaking while

It's the weekend, LiquidStatik. :rooleyes

[Sethomas]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQykK_X5kB0

I really don't think I can post this link too fervently.

[Asila]

It's the weekend, LiquidStatik. :rooleyes

I've NO idea what that means, but okay.

[Asila]

I really don't think I can post this link too fervently.

:lol

[Tadao]

Haha GW, your parents hate each other and it's all because of you. Way to go ZBF

[Tadao]

That's funny cause pub has been chatting with me on MSN

[Asila]

That's funny cause pub has been chatting with me on MSN


That's okay it just proves my suspicions

[Pub Lover]

I've NO idea what that means, but okay.

Much like Seth, I expect you to memorise every single post in here.

To restate something that I may have only said in IM:

I only have MSN on my laptop, & I'm not installing the others for only two days a week.

[Pub Lover]

http://www.akmining.com/mine/nug01.jpg

[Pub Lover]

That's funny cause pub has been chatting with me on MSN

That's funny because I haven't.

[Asila]

Much like Seth, I expect you to memorise every single post in here.

To restate something that I may have only said in IM:

I only have MSN on my laptop, & I'm not installing the others for only two days a week.

Is your MSN in your profile the appropriate one because godDAMNIT ALL I'm just drunk enough to be determined tonight.

[Guitar Woman]

you could get Pidgin.

[Pub Lover]

you could get Pidgin.

You could die, you little fag. >:

[Tadao]

I have all 3 of Pub in Pidgin, and I don't even talk to him/

[Sethomas]

Hey girl, open your legs
and I put my deeeck into your tunnel
my beech

(I can't judge the Italian all that well, but I think it passes for orthographic. The French and Spanish, though, are somewhat further from the point of being sensical than the English is, when it comes to the question of how nonsensical the polyglot verses are.)

This guy is somehow connected to an Italian punk band I listen to. They're fantastically good and I'm not afraid to say that, but back in 2004 I only had one mp3 by them and through Googling their band name they came to an offhand reference to that song on my website. The fact that, per what my reading in Italian at that time could infer, "a public university student of Chicago" was listening to their music was a reason for them to link from their webpage to my blog. Let me tell you, it was a fun bit of detective work for a few hours figuring out my web stats for that one random page was getting a freakish amount of traffic from a freakishly small area in northern Italy.

(If I've ever had any connections to the mafia, it was not in Italy but via a company located in Fort Wayne, Indiana. I really, really want to talk about that episode for insight as to WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON, but I have no idea whatsoever how safe it is from a legal standpoint in terms of covenants I signed. If you're wondering how much I'm shitting you when I say that, the level of shitting you is surprisingly low.)

I sent the band an email about it and I was like, "umm, 'sup?" After years of emailing them every once in a while to ask if they had yet figured out a way for me to buy their cds, they'd reply with personal replies and such that answer "no" in broken English. It was pretty cool!

Right now I'm reasonably confident that I'm the only American, and possibly the only person on Earth who isn't fluent in Italian, who owns their entire discography.

[Asila]

In only a slight subject change, Seth--have you ever heard of Le Tango De Qui by Olivia Ruiz? I ask because I'm pretty sure the song's about being insane and I'd love some confirmation on that.

[Sethomas]

No. Since it's in French I'll justify my assumption that she grew up near French culture despite a Spanish name, id est, in Spain. In most parts of Spain, her name would be pronounced "oh-LIB-ee-ah roo-EEETH".

I was trying to come up with a stupid reason why that matters.

I'll consult our friend and ally Google.

Google's best expert on the subject is you. In that post.

Sorry! Do you have the lyrics?

[Asila]

I do, hold on:

Je m'présente je m'appelle Clara
Je suis clown triste à l'opéra
Mon univers cet Hôpital
Je suis désordonnée mentale
J'ai un trapèze et des amis
Et sans filet, sans interdits
Tous ensemble on brûle la piste
Quel beau métier la vie d'artiste

Enchanté moi je suis Lucy
Je collectionne les insomnies
Droit au coeur j'ai des coups de soleil
Que j'attrape pendant mon sommeil
Les yeux fermés je déambule
L'homme en blanc me dit somnambule
Mais lui n'a jamais rien compris
Que les rêves aussi ont un pays

Je suis qui bon me plait
Je vais là où je vais
Devinez donc qui je suis
Qui me précède et où je vis
Je suis qui bon me semble
Et qui se ressemble s'assemble
Plus on est de fous plus on rit
Allez rejoins la compagnie
Viens danser le tango du qui

Mon visage vous dit quelque chose
Non je n'vois pas je m'appelle Rose
J'existe à l'encre sympathique
Heureuse en tout, mais amnésique
On creuse a fond dans ma mémoire
Pour reboucher ces trous bizarres
Moi j'aime assez ces tourbillons
C'et comment déjà votre nom ???

Je suis qui bon me plait
Je vais là où je vais
Devinez donc qui je suis
Qui me précède et où je vis
Je suis qui bon me semble
Et qui se ressemble s'assemble
Plus on est de fous plus on rit
Allez rejoins la compagnie
Viens danser le tango du qui

Entrez, entrez c'est moi Lison
Moitié femme et moitié
Mon siamois ne va pas tarder
Je m'en vais vous l'présenter
Il est presque poisson volant
Ne me ressemble pas vraiment
On nous parle de schizophrénie
Mais a deux c'est tellement mieux la vie

Je suis qui bon me plait
Je vais là où je vais
Devinez donc qui je suis
Qui me précède et où je vis
Je suis qui bon me semble
Et qui se ressemble s'assemble
Plus on est de fous plus on rit
Allez rejoins la compagnie
Viens danser le tango du qui

Je ne m'présente pas, je ne m'appelle plus
Raison de ma raison ils ont eu
Je n'ai plus de nom, plus d'histoire
Mon cabaret ferme ce soir
Abasourdie sous les néons
Les saltimbanques ont mis les bouts
Ils se sont fait une raison
juste avant de devenir fous


They're not perfect but it's best translation I can find without doing it myself

[Sethomas]

Translation?

It wasn't originally in French?

Anyways. I scanned down four sentences and found:
"Je suis désordonnée mentale"

"I'm mentally disordered"

I'd love to spend time with this and give you all my EXPERTISE, but the quest for literary analysis and such in a second language when I've not had much sleep (largely you guys' fault) is kind of hard right now. Yes, I do have a beer in my fridge to solve that, but it's a very good expensive one that I'm saving.

It appears that she's either exploring different manifestations of mental illness, or else she's singing as one person who assumes many different crazy personalities. Recurring pattern of introducing herself with a different name, going through a routine associated with that name, blah blah. The latter idea that all these are the same person seems unlikely right now, though. Maybe it'll seem likelier later.

[Asila]

I appreciate that you looked, at the very least--I had suspected this translation but having it from you makes me feel a little better.
And at some point I might hint around just sending you the MP3 and you may get a better sense of what's being said.

[Sethomas]

having it from you makes me feel a little better

Preserved for posterity. Also, I am approximately eleven years old.

[Asila]

having it from you makes me feel a little better

Preserved for posterity. Also, I am approximately eleven years old.


It's okay, apparently I'm 12.

And I highly doubt that.

[Chojin]

WHO'S UP FOR SOME MATH?!

[Chojin]

Oh and ditto for GW, be glad they didn't divorce sooner. Mine did when I was about four.

Drugs and alcohol were involved!

[Chojin]

And now when someone tells you that they did your mom, know that it was the catalyst for her broken marriage.

[WhiteRat]

I'll be spending the weekend in Louisiana attending a huge craw fish boil. I've never had craw fish as i'm from the frigid north so i'm expecting massive rebel flags waving proudly as well as monster trucks roaring in the background as greasy rednecks devour craw fish.

[RaNkeri]

:lol

[Tadao]

And now when someone tells you that they did your mom, know that it was the catalyst for her broken marriage.

I wrecked another home.

[Esuohlim]

You should smile more often in your photos.

:)

[Esuohlim]

But not on message boards :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Goddamn neophytes can't tell an action movie cliché waiting to happen from a Papa Roach lyric that probably already HAS happened.

Kind of Peturbed over that.

[GADZOOKS]

way to kill the chat thread 10,000 dolt ghost

[MattJack]

I'll be spending the weekend in Louisiana attending a huge craw fish boil. I've never had craw fish as i'm from the frigid north so i'm expecting massive rebel flags waving proudly as well as monster trucks roaring in the background as greasy rednecks devour craw fish.

You basically summed up the first 18 years of my life.

Just drink some beer and have fun.

[Asila]

I know it was kicking before what the hell

[liquidstatik]

sup guys :D

[liquidstatik]

i ran out of cigarettes so i'm smoking my grandma's winston ultra light 100s, and i think i'm about to barf :x

[Tadao]

Be careful guys, Gadzooks reads the chat thread and doesn't want to be bored. Cause like he matters and stuff.

[Asila]

I smoked my last one last night and forgot to get anymore. I'd rather be about to barf than twitchy.

[liquidstatik]

i know, right ;_;

[Sethomas]

Asila, you should have added in true I-Mockery parenting form: "To be honest, I only started smoking to cope with the weird cravings that come with pregnancy."

[GADZOOKS]

Be careful guys, Gadzooks reads the chat thread and doesn't want to be bored. Cause like he matters and stuff.

"Clever!" I wasn't talking about anymore in here currently. Your insults are incredibly boring, though!

Milhouse, what was the site where you can guess all the countries or states (among other things)? I managed to get most of the continents but when I went to bed I forgot to bookmark it.

[Asila]

Asila, you should have added in true I-Mockery parenting form: "To be honest, I only started smoking to cope with the weird cravings that come with pregnancy."


I am now chagrined that I didn't think of this first. In my defense, putting together furniture somehow takes most of my mental energies.

[Tadao]

"Clever!" I wasn't talking about anymore in here currently. Your insults are incredibly boring, though!

Milhouse, what was the site where you can guess all the countries or states (among other things)? I managed to get most of the continents but when I went to bed I forgot to bookmark it.

Cause you like matter and stuff.

[GADZOOKS]

Okay, dude. See yah later.

[Sethomas]

I also sometimes have conversations online with people from my hometown.

CuteGirl: is it bed time yet?
Seth: NO
Seth: it is time for you to drive to bloomington and make out with me.
CuteGirl: why cant YOU drive to noblesville and make out with me???
Seth: because then i won't be able to impress you with the size of my book collection
CuteGirl: thats not exactly the best reason
Seth: then you obviously haven't seen my bookcase in person

I feel like I'm doing something wrong, but I can't tell what it is.

[Dr. Octogonopus]

Hey Seth, have you tried the Bathroom Reader's books? They're full of some pretty interesting facts. Look it up at your bookstore next time you're there. There are a whole bunch of them.

[Asila]

Seth: because then i won't be able to impress you with the size of my book collection
CuteGirl: thats not exactly the best reason
Seth: then you obviously haven't seen my bookcase in person


I've used that pickup line in the past :(

[Sethomas]

Actually, yes. That was largely responsible for Seth's Law of Philology as I mentioned earlier, with the fact that they'll explain the best stories for word origins with a beautiful disregard for accuracy.

Actually, I think one of their books stated that the Hundred Year War was started over someone insulting someone else's beard, which, as the post I'm writing for the Philosophy board should indicate, I find a rather charming synopsis of three centuries of Franco-English tension.

Thank you, Uncle John, for removing any possible requirement for thought in Father's Day giving that even fathers can appreciate.

[Sethomas]

lol @ applying penultimate post to antepenultimate post.

[Sethomas]

lol @ using words that only exist in textbooks for Attic Greek grammar.

[Tadao]

I like my current girlfriend, we only have 1 thing in common, we have the same disease. We don't even talk about it, instead we are both talking to each other about different interesting things in our lives that the other has never experienced, nor do they want to.

[Sethomas]

Would that disease happen to be syphilis?

It hurts me to say the obvious retort, but sometimes the pain helps.

[Asila]

lol@ using dictionary.com every day now.

[liquidstatik]

haha, i'm glad i'm not the only one :(

[Esuohlim]

Milhouse, what was the site where you can guess all the countries or states (among other things)? I managed to get most of the continents but when I went to bed I forgot to bookmark it.

It was http://www.sporcle.com

I'm mad at myself for only being able to guess like five Kevin Bacon movies but about 10 Julia Roberts movies :x

[Tadao]

Would that disease happen to be syphilis?

It hurts me to say the obvious retort, but sometimes the pain helps.

Psychosis :(

[Sethomas]

Guys, maybe I'll explain the addendum to my signature when I am delusional enough to pretend that you're interested. (Read: <4 days.)

Even though this particular form, namely the specific nature of adding the word "imprimi" for precision, has only one (actually rather controversial, apparently) literary occurrence, I knew I had better google it (minus "Seth") to see how many like-minded message board geeks thought it would be funny to add it to their signatures. Apparently, none!

There was, however, one search result that seemed to be sufficiently facetious in its random incorporation of the exact phrase, that I clicked it to make sure it wasn't a message board signature.

Well, let me just tell you, I now have a new favorite website when it comes to finding images that will astonish me by their elegy to the human vagina's capacity for dilation.